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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097868">A Little Bit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aguiltyconscience/pseuds/onlysarah235678'>onlysarah235678 (aguiltyconscience)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Murder House</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Billie Dean finds some kittens, F/F, Slow Burn, mentions of domestic abuse, reader is a vet, trigger warning: mentions of death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:01:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>147,176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aguiltyconscience/pseuds/onlysarah235678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Request: Can you write about the reader working in healthcare/retail (during or not during COVID-your choice) and she meets Billie and they hit it off?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Billie Dean Howard/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been wandering around her neighborhood for weeks, but it wasn’t until today that Billie Dean paid it much attention. She’d assumed that the cat was one of her neighbor’s and they just let it roam around. She’d seen its lithe black form darting across the streets on days when she returned from filming late into the night, but besides briefly wondering about where it was going, she never spared it much thought.</p><p>However, as she peered under her deck at the sound of quiet meows, she realized she had a problem. She had been out working in her garden on one of her rare days off when she heard it. The medium had turned and seen a pair of eyes from across the yard, and despite her better judgement she went to investigate.</p><p>Now, as she stared at the black cat surrounded by her litter of 6, she had a feeling she wouldn’t be getting back to her garden anytime soon.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N, Lindsey just added another one to your morning.”</p><p>You tried not to groan in annoyance when you heard one of the vet assistants say this to you. The day had barely started, but things had been ridiculously busy. The practice you worked at had up to 5 other doctors working at a time on a regular weekday, but since today was Saturday, there were only two working.</p><p>Dr. Hahn and you.</p><p>The schedule had already been booked by the time you arrived to work, and it was just luck that you had a cancellation for your 11:30 slot. You had already planned on taking an early lunch when news of another appointment being scheduled came. You tried not to be annoyed because this was your job and you did love it. You were just exhausted. It had been a long week.</p><p>A long month really.</p><p>Since moving to L.A after finishing school, you hadn’t spent much time doing anything other than work. Let alone getting to know the city. You had jumped into your work and spent almost every waking minute thinking about it. As a new vet, you were trying your best to prove yourself and make a good impression at your job. You thought you were doing a fairly good job, but you hadn’t allowed yourself to have much time to yourself.</p><p>Other than walking your dog, Milo, who had made the cross-country trip with you, most of your free time was spent making sure you had the most up-to-date information out there to offer your clients. You didn’t want to be caught off guard, not again.</p><p>You eventually smiled at the assistant and thanked her despite wanting to glare instead.</p><p>“Thank you, Erin.”</p><p>It wasn’t her fault you weren’t getting your early lunch.</p><p>After corralling the cat and her kittens into the most suitable container she could find, Billie Dean was on her way to the vet. She had called a couple and unfortunately hadn’t been able to get an appointment so last minute. She had almost given up, when the last one she’d called had luckily had a cancellation for only about an hour away.</p><p>It was perfect timing until it took her almost 20 minutes to get the cats out from under the deck. The mom hadn’t trusted her immediately and it had taken some coaxing before she’d risked reaching out to pet the mother. While speaking more reassurances that she was sure the cats didn’t understand, Billie Dean collected all 6 kittens and the mother and loaded them into the front seat.</p><p>It wasn’t until she started driving that she realized she might be late. This clinic was almost 30 minutes away with normal weekend traffic. Billie Dean sighed before she made sure at all of the cats were still settled in the box before beginning to drive a little bit faster.</p><p>Hopefully she wouldn’t be too late.</p><p>“They’re late.”</p><p><br/>
You hadn’t realized it immediately because your last appointment ran over, but once 11:40 rolled around you realized that your 11:30 had never shown up.</p><p>You had looked over the details of the appointment quickly realizing that hopefully it would be routine kitten stuff. You hadn’t recognized the name of the owner because well, you didn’t watch much television. It wasn’t until the assistant you were working with for the morning, commented on it, that you realized that Billie Dean Howard was anything special.</p><p>“Oh no! She didn’t show up?? Ugh, I was dying to meet her.”</p><p>You turned to your disappointed assistant, Erin with a confused frown. You continued to type up your medical note from the last appointment before asking off-handedly.</p><p>“Who did you say she was again?”</p><p>If you had been paying more attention, you would have noticed Erin shoot you an incredulous look. Instead you were writing about the last patient’s bloodwork when the brunette finally answered you.</p><p>“Look, Dr. Y/L/N. I know you’re new to town, but how do you not know who Billie Dean Howard is?”</p><p>You just shrugged while shooting the younger woman a sheepish look. You were very good about being the last to know things. It wasn’t your fault you were so out of touch from school. There had hardly been any time for television when you were always studying.</p><p>“Sorry, you know I don’t watch much tv.”</p><p>Erin shook her head with a sigh before she decided to take pity on you. You finished typing your note and turned to face the other brunette as she explained to you who your missed appointment had been.</p><p>“She’s a famous medium who goes to various places around the world that are haunted for her television show. It’s so good, I watched an entire season yesterday.”</p><p>Before you had a chance to ask how that was possible, Lindsey appeared with a piece of paper and a sympathetic smile on her face.</p><p>“Your 11:30 is here.”</p><p>You looked at the clock, it was a quarter to noon, before you just nodded with a small smile. Lindsey handed the check in sheet to Erin who grabbed it with an excited squeal that made you nearly roll your eyes.</p><p>At least one of you were excited for this.</p><p>Billie Dean was beyond stressed. She had been making good time for her appointment, when the mom cat, she’d taken to calling her Bit, had decided to jump out of the box and explore her car. She’d been so distracted and worried that she’d slowed to the point that people were honking her off the road. She’d stopped in a parking lot to try and get Bit back into the box, but as soon as the door opened, she’d jumped out.</p><p>Billie had questioned her decision to not just ignore the cat this morning as she spent the next 15 minutes trying to catch Bit and return her to the car.</p><p>Now, she was really late and she knew that she had probably missed her appointment. She hurried inside with the box, making sure to hold onto Bit so she didn’t jump out again before opening the front door. She hurried toward the counter with an apologetic smile and a hopeful look.</p><p>“I’m so sorry I’m late. I had a bit of a time getting here. I have an appointment for 11:30.”</p><p>Billie figured she didn’t need to give her name because the look on the receptionist’s face when she saw her was telling enough. She was used to having fans so she just smiled politely as the other blonde, Lindsey, her nametag said, nodded frantically and ran to the printer.</p><p>“Of course, Ms. Howard. I’ll let them know you’re here.”</p><p>Billie watched as the younger blonde nearly ran toward the back before she sat down with a sigh. She looked at the box of cats with a small smile. She scratched Bit’s chin before she checked on each of the kittens. They all looked so tiny and weak. They all were huddled up in the middle of the box sleeping on top of each other. It was truly adorable.</p><p>“Ms. Howard?”</p><p>The medium had been too busy contemplating how many of the kittens she could keep to realize that someone else had entered the waiting room. She looked up to see a brunette smiling at her and holding a door to the back open. She jumped up, clutching onto the box carefully before making her way over to the woman in scrubs.</p><p>“Hi. I’m sorry I’m late.”</p><p>Erin just smiled and shook her head as she led Billie Dean to a nearby exam room. She’d already screamed silently before coming to get the blonde so she wouldn’t geek out, but she couldn’t help but be a little starstruck by the medium’s presence.</p><p>“It’s not a problem, we’re just glad to see kittens on our schedule.”</p><p>You waited while your assistant got the history from Billie Dean. From where you were seated in the pharmacy, you could hear some of what was being said. It sounded like a standard visit. No issues except for apparently a random cat decided to have kittens underneath Billie’s porch. You tried not to overthink this visit as you listened to the blonde talk to her assistant. You hadn’t been nervous before because you hadn’t really needed to be.</p><p>Except that was when you hadn’t known that you were going to be seeing someone who was famous. Someone whose name you didn’t even recognize, but that was beside the point. The point was that now that the idea was in your head, you were freaking out a little bit.</p><p>You could hear a slight accent in her voice and you couldn’t help but smile at it. It sounded cute.</p><p>You sat up slightly, startled at the sudden thought. You shook your head scolding yourself for being so unprofessional and attempted to push that thought to the back of your mind. You turned at the sound of the exam door opening and watched as Erin shut it behind her quietly with a huge smile on her face.</p><p>“She’s so cool. Oh my god that was so cool!”</p><p>She whisper screamed at you and you couldn’t help but laugh in amusement. Someone was clearly starstruck. Hopefully she could get through this without embarrassing them. Or at least her. Anyone. Hopefully no one would be embarrassed.</p><p>“Hi, Ms. Howard. I’m Y/F/N, Y/L/N. It’s nice to meet you.”</p><p>You were surprised by what greeted you inside the exam room. The cat that was bouncing around the room was less of a surprise than the woman who sat in one of the chairs against the wall. You had to stop herself from showing your surprise as you took in the blonde who you’d never heard of until about an hour ago.</p><p>Billie Dean Howard wasn’t what you’d been expecting. She was middle-aged with honey blonde hair that fell in neat curls. She was wearing a silk blouse and a skirt with heels. She was definitely the most dressed up of all of your clients today. God, she was beautiful and you had to remind yourself to not stare at her legs as you held out your hand.</p><p>The medium smiled as she reached out her own hand and shook yours. Her hand was so soft, but you counted to two before releasing it with a shake of your head.</p><p>“Nice to meet you Dr. Y/L/N. I apologize for being so late.” You smiled at the thought of what Erin had told you. It sounded like she had a hell of a time getting here. You couldn’t blame her after what she’d gone through to simply get these cats looked at.</p><p>“No need. It sounds like this one was quite the troublemaker.” You pet Bit as she wandered over to you to check you out, and you smiled as she rubbed her face on your hand.</p><p>You noticed Billie roll her eyes with a sigh and you couldn’t help but smile at what she said.</p><p>“She definitely was. That’s where her name came from after all.”</p><p>You frowned in confusion but didn’t get a chance to ask before Billie was explaining herself. She eyed you curiously as she shrugged indifferently.</p><p>“I may have called her, her name with an added ‘ch’ a couple times on the way here. Specifically, while I was chasing her around a Denny’s parking lot.”</p><p>You tried not to laugh at the ridiculous image that conjured in your brain, but it was useless. You were laughing before you could help it because honestly who wouldn’t find this elegant woman running after a cat in a parking lot hilarious.</p><p>You stifled your laughter before you cleared your throat and shot Billie a smile. “Well, it sounds like the name suits her.”</p><p>You examine each of the kittens carefully, and confirm that they are less than a week old since their eyes are still closed. They are all a little buggy from living under the deck so you deworm them and Bit so she won’t spread any parasites to them. As you explain this to Billie while applying the medication, you notice that she is shooting you an odd look. You don’t really worry too much about it because it’s probably just confusion from a too-sciency word you used.</p><p>When the kittens are all checked out and the mom is back in the box resting with them, you decide that you should figure out what happens next.</p><p>“They’ll need their mom for milk for the next month, but have you decided if you want to keep them?”</p><p>Erin leaves at this point because now that the exams are done, you’re mostly just talking. You pretend not to notice how she is reluctant to leave, and instead focus on Billie’s wide eyes as she shakes her head with a laugh.</p><p>“No, I don’t think I can keep them all. Maybe one or two. I don’t want to be known as the crazy old cat lady.”</p><p>You laugh again before moving your stethoscope off the exam table so it’s not sitting in all of the baby food you fed to Bit. “You’re definitely not old, Ms. Howard.”</p><p>You nearly slap your hand to your mouth as your eyes widen in mortification. God you did not just say that did you? You look to the blonde about to apologize, but you see her smiling at you instead. You hear her teasing tone and blush despite your best efforts at what she says in response.</p><p>“Thank you dear, but please. Call me Billie.”</p><p>You nod dumbly before you start picking off some of the black hair on your coat, only to give up after a few seconds. You’re covered and you miss the amused look Billie shoots you as you try to get back on track.</p><p>“Okay, Billie. Well once they’re old enough, you can take them to a shelter, or you can bring them here. We adopt out kittens. Our last ones actually just went home with some clients.”</p><p>It’s nearly 12:30 when you’re finished answering some of Billie’s general questions. You had an assistant find a carrier for Billie to take so she wouldn’t have to worry about Bit escaping again. You load the cats into it while Billie gets checked out at the front desk. By the time she gets back, you have only Bit left to put in.</p><p>Of course she decides she’d rather run around the room though. You ignore your growling stomach which conveniently covers up the sound of the door opening behind you as you hurry to catch the cat.</p><p>“Come here you little, Bit. You need to get in here so your mom doesn’t lose you at Denny’s again.”</p><p>Once you finally get her inside the carrier and close it with a sigh, you realize that you are being watched. You look up from where you’re kneeling on the ground to see Billie watching you from the doorway with a smile. You fight a blush as you pick up the carrier carefully before taking a step toward the door.</p><p>“Here, let me help you to your car.”</p><p>Billie shook her head. She’d already taken up a lot of your time. It was nearly 1 and most everyone else was on lunch.</p><p>“Oh, you don’t have to do that, sweetheart. I’ve already taken up too much of your time.”</p><p>You nearly stop short at the pet name, the second pet name she’s used, but you recover just in time to shake your head with a smile.

“Don’t be silly. It’s not a problem.”</p><p>Billie looked like she was going to argue, but you just stood with the carrier held in your hand with a smile. Ready to go. She sighed and your smile widened as you followed the blonde out of the building.</p><p>You arrive to her car without incident and she opens the backdoor for you. You smile before placing them in the back seat, trying not to be too nosy as you duck into her car before standing up straight again.</p><p>“You’re all set, Ms—Billie.”</p><p>Billie smiles at your save as she shuts the door behind you. You stand by awkwardly as she takes a moment to study you. She opens her mouth to say something but stops short before simply nodding.</p><p>“Thank you again. It was nice to meet you, Dr. Y/L/N.”</p><p>You blush before waving her off as you look away to hopefully save face before responding. “Y/F/N, please and you too.”</p><p>As you’re about to turn away and head back inside for some much-needed lunch when something occurs to you. You smile slightly as you dig into your pocket and grab a card to hand to her. The medium takes your business card with a smile, and her fingers brush against yours briefly. Your cheeks redden and you curse yourself when you see Billie’s smile turn into a smirk. You manage to speak up before she can and drop your hand away and into your pocket.</p><p>“My card. In case you have any questions. You can call us or email anytime.”</p><p>Billie looked over the card, realizing that it had the clinic’s number and a shared email address on it. She decided not to be deterred and shot the blushing doctor a curious look.</p><p>“So in the event of an emergency, and the clinic’s closed…what number would I call?”</p><p>You laughed nervously as you thought about your options. You could tell that Billie was flirting. You were dense, but not that dense, and you decided to take a risk. You shrugged before you dug around in your pocket once again for a pen before reaching out for the card you’d just given away.</p><p>“Well you could call the emergency clinic up the road, or you can call me. Whichever.”</p><p>Billie looks at the number that you scrawled down with a grin. “This is your personal number?”</p><p>You smirked before taking a step back toward the building hoping to retreat before you say something too dumb. “It is. To use for emergencies or whatever else.”</p><p>You smile a little wider as Billie’s face lights up and she shoots you a suggestive look. You merely laugh before turning around and heading back inside. You know she’s watching you, but you don’t turn around until you reach the door. You’re not surprised to see her still standing there watching, and you shoot her one last smile and wave before ducking back inside.</p><p>
  <em>tbc</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After meeting Billie at work, the two of you plan a not date.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>You hear from Billie Dean exactly two days later.</p><p>You’re actually at home since you worked the weekend, but you are just hanging out with your dog when the phone buzzed from the coffee table. You had just finished lunch and you were about to fall asleep when Milo’s head jerked up at the annoying sound. You sigh before leaving the comfort of the couch to see who it is. Hopefully it isn’t someone who needs anything from you because you had your Monday planned out already. You were staying at home for the rest of the day trying to relax for once. You might take a long walk with Milo later, but you weren’t so sure.</p><p>All thoughts of where to hike left your mind as you grab your phone and see you have a text from an unknown number. You don’t really get out much and only talk to a few friends, but all of their numbers are in your phone. It doesn’t even occur to you that it might be Billie. You honestly just thought she was being nice to you since she’d been super late to her appointment.</p><p>Despite the flirting smiles and curious looks she’d shot you during the appointment, you hadn’t wanted to think too much into it. You’d hate to get your hopes up for nothing.</p><p>What you were hoping for, well you weren’t going to admit that yet.</p><p>Once you managed to find the courage to actually look at what the message said—beyond her name of course, you took a deep breath and sat back on the couch.</p><p>
  <em>Hi Y/N, it’s Billie Dean. Are you busy, sweetheart?</em>
</p><p>There the nickname was again. You ignored how reading it and of course imagining her saying it made you feel and decided to focus on the question she asked. You looked around your living room where the television was paused on a scene from <em>The Blair Witch Project, </em>and where Milo sat on the couch next to you, his giant paws on your leg. You shook your head muttering something under your breath about being silly before you typed out a quick response.</p><p>
  <em>Not at all. </em>
</p><p>You contemplated typing more because you supposed you should ask if she needed something. However, once you saw she was already typing a response you had to stop yourself from throwing your phone. You shouldn’t be this flustered. Not by the prospect of answering questions about kittens. That’s all this was going to be. Of course it was. You were just helping -possible helping – a client. A beautiful and charming client.</p><p>Don’t be silly.</p><p>Billie Dean Howard had worked hard to get where she was. Her career was somewhere she wouldn’t have even dared to imagine just 10 years ago. She was an accomplished woman who used her gift to help people. It wasn’t always easy of course, but as she traveled to random, remote places around the world trying to guide stubborn lost souls, she knew she wouldn’t change a thing. She loved what she did, and she liked to think that she was good at it.</p><p>Today, however, she was realizing that despite her best efforts, she may not be good at everything. Try as she might, she couldn’t get a hang of this kitten thing. They were a lot more work than she had anticipated. After leaving the vet’s office on Saturday, she’d gone to the pet store and spent a small fortune on food, toys, litter, and a bed. You had told her that the kittens wouldn’t be using litter for a while and she’d foolishly thought that meant they wouldn’t need to go. How idiotic.</p><p>As she found out the moment she got home, after the kittens had gotten a meal from Bit, they had all needed to go. She spent a good twenty minutes cleaning out the carrier and each kitten that had gotten themselves dirty. She had set everything up in the house, placed all of the clean kittens on their bed in a nice quiet room, only to have Bit take each one of them into a different room. The laundry room of all places. Billie had let her because she really didn’t want to fight with her, but she’d been constantly checking on them to make sure everything was okay.</p><p>She had to make sure they were all warm enough and that Bit was doing her job feeding and grooming them. It was exhausting and Billie was definitely reconsidering this whole fostering thing.</p><p>By the time Monday rolled around, she was already stressing about work. She had found someone in the neighborhood who agreed to watch the kittens while she left to do some promotional work for her show, but she quickly found she couldn’t focus. She rushed through work and was home by noon checking on the kittens again.</p><p>They all seemed fine at first glance, but then she recounted them and realized that one was missing. She did her best not to panic immediately. She moved Bit a little, earning a hiss of annoyance, to see if the last kitten was hiding underneath her.</p><p>No such luck.</p><p>Next, Billie looked around the laundry room before moving to the closest room to start a wider search. It wasn’t until she checked her bedroom that she found the kitten just sitting on the comforter. She cursed under her breath as she hurried to check on the little furball.</p><p>He, Billie had decided the runt was a boy, was cold to the touch and she panicked. She thought about her options before she ran back downstairs to where she’d abandoned her purse. She held the little kitten close as she found her phone.</p><p>When you responded to her first text, Billie considered sending another one, but decided against it. She ended up just calling you, and the urge to curse was strong, but instead you took a deep breath before answering.</p><p>“Hi Billie.”</p><p>“Hi, Y/N. I’m sorry to bother you. You’re not at work, are you?”</p><p>You smile at the concern in Billie’s voice until it occurs to you it may not be for the reasons you think. Still, you shook your head before explaining that you had the day off and that you were at home. She didn’t say anything immediately, but when Billie did speak up, you could tell she was a little stressed.</p><p>“Oh. I don’t mean to interrupt your day off, but I had a kitten question.”</p><p>So Billie tells you about what’s going on. That she found the kitten away from Bit and the others, cold and just randomly in her room. You ask a few questions, and Billie’s answers are more concerning than reassuring. You decide to focus on the matter at hand before asking anything else.</p><p>“Do you have an electric blanket or something you could use to warm him up?”</p><p>Billie nearly laughs at the thought, but she stops herself just in time. She simply shakes her head as she heads up the stairs to the linen closet.</p><p>“In LA? I’m afraid not.”</p><p>You nearly roll your eyes at your stupidity. You had forgotten the fact that it rarely reached freezing in this city. You had moved from a state of unpredictable weather where you needed to be prepared for ice storms and heat waves, and you sometimes forgot that wasn’t normal. You nodded in acknowledgment before you went to the next suggestion you had.</p><p>“Right. What about towels?”</p><p>You stay on the phone with Billie while she puts some towels in the dryer to warm them up. Surprisingly Bit and her other kittens don’t seem to care despite being right next to it. She then goes to her bedroom and grabs the first blanket she sees that coincidentally already has cat hair on it. She had forgotten about that part of having a pet.</p><p>“Be honest. Should I be worried?”</p><p>You hold back a sigh as you stand up and begin to wander aimlessly around the room. You don’t want to lie to Billie, but at the same time you remember how on Saturday she’d already claimed that the runt, the boy, they’d decided was her favorite. You would hate for her to be upset by his loss. That said, you couldn’t really give her an honest assessment over the phone.</p><p>“Has he been nursing today?</p><p>Billie shook her head at this as she put her phone on the bed so she can wrap the kitten in the blanket. She speaks a little louder as she works on making a kitten burrito.</p><p>“I’m not sure about today. I had someone watch them while I worked, but yesterday he seemed fine. Normal at least.”</p><p>You thought about this before considering your options. Billie had already told you that other than the fact that he was a little cold, he seemed fine. You decided to go with your gut on this one.</p><p>“He could get worse, but if you can just keep him warm today and see that he eats, he’ll improve. Let me know if anything else changes though.”</p><p>
  <em>I’ll be back at work tomorrow. </em>
</p><p>You almost say this, but decide against it because you don’t want it to sound like you wouldn’t be willing to…No. Would you? Of course you would. It was your job. You couldn’t just not see a kitten who was sick. You could of course just tell her to go to work and see another doctor, but you secretly wanted to see her yourself.</p><p>Your musing is cut off by the sound of the blonde sighing in what you realize is relief. You smile slightly as she thanks you, but don’t really know what to say in response.</p><p>“Thank you so much, Y/N. I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing before I freaked out on you.”</p><p>You laugh slightly as you shake your head and turn back toward where Milo was still sitting on the couch. He was waiting for you to return so you both could go back to the movie you’ve honestly seen too many times. You didn’t realize you’d said this until it was too late. Fortunately, you didn’t get time to cringe at your word vomit before you heard Billie laugh.</p><p>You weren’t sure you’d ever heard something sound quite so nice.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I was just watching the Blair Witch Project which I’ve already seen about a dozen times.”</p><p>“You like stories about the supernatural?”</p><p>You don’t answer immediately because you can’t help but feel like this is a trick question. You do in fact like a good ghost story, but the question seems to be more about whether or not you believe in them. At least that’s where you see this going. So you jump the gun a little with a small smile as you plop back down next to Milo.</p><p>“I definitely like them. Good ones at least, but do I believe in them? It depends.”</p><p>At this point, Billie was seated on her bed with the kitten that she definitely hadn’t named Mickey on her lap. She could practically see you shrugging and she couldn’t help but ask.</p><p>“Depends on what?”</p><p>You’re not sure what possesses you to answer the way you do, but you’re smirking and speaking before you can stop yourself.</p><p>“Maybe I’ll tell you sometime.”</p><p>You barely resist the frantic urge to start screaming at yourself for your out of character display of courage. You’re not usually the one to instigate things. You’ve been accused of being a wallflower in the past by many of your friends and a few people you’ve dated. However, there’s something inexplicably appealing about the idea of getting to see Billie Dean again.</p><p> It doesn’t occur to you until too late that your statement could be taken as flirting. Only after you hear her chuckle in amusement do you realize what you’ve done.</p><p>“Is that an invitation?”</p><p>Despite your initial hesitance about flirting with a client, you decide to throw caution to the wind and just see where this goes. The worst you could do was embarrass yourself, right? It’s not like you were at work now anyway. Not like last time.</p><p>“That depends. Would you be interested?”</p><p>You and Billie Dean agree to meet later that week. With both of your work schedules full until the weekend, you have a whole 4 days until you’ll see her again, but you’d manage. Somehow.</p><p>Well, she did agree to send you updates on the kittens, but that would most likely be by text. You wouldn’t get the perk of hearing her voice.</p><p>That thought made you pause. After hanging up the phone, you’d returned to your movie with Milo, but you paused it again before reaching for your computer. You tried not to feel like a creep as you opened your browser and searched Billie’s name.</p><p>You figured that you should know at least the basics about her and her show so you didn’t put your foot in your mouth when you saw her on Saturday. The first thing you see when you look is her award-winning smile, literally with some information written underneath it. You disregard the details about where to watch her show for now and go to her website.</p><p>For the next hour or so you read a lot about how she got started as a medium and what she’d been doing for the past ten years. You watched a few interviews and started an episode of her show when Milo reminded you of how late it was.</p><p>You decided to take a break from being too curious and take Milo on a walk like you’d originally planned. He jumped up at the word ‘walk’ and ran to grab his leash while you ran upstairs to change. On your way back down the stairs you grab your phone and keys before heading to the parking lot. You’re determined to enjoy your day off, so you follow Milo out to the car and do your best to ignore the growing anxiety associated with seeing Billie again. You’re excited of course, but you don’t know what to expect from the medium. Perhaps you just shouldn’t have any expectations for this…get together. You hadn’t called it anything in particular. You were just going to get lunch.</p><p>You still hadn’t convinced yourself not to worry by the time you got Milo buckled in the backseat.</p><p>Billie Dean hadn’t really given much thought to the idea of having children. Since her career had taken off, she’d convinced herself that she was too busy. She wouldn’t have the time for them and she honestly wasn’t sure she wanted them. She’d never really thought she’d be a good mother.</p><p>That said, if raising children was anything like taking care of kittens, then she was definitely right. This experience was very humbling.  </p><p>Since she’d hung up with you, she’d been multitasking like a pro. She’d been spending time with the kittens, and making sure that Mickey had nursed and was cuddled up to Bit like the rest of his siblings. Billie had noticed quickly that Bit didn’t pay as much attention to the runt of her litter as she did to everyone else. This observation made her worry and as a result, she spent a lot more time caring for him to make up for it. She was getting a hang of this, but it was exhausting.</p><p>Between going over the rest of her week with her assistant and responding to emails from her producer, she was checking on the cats to the point that Bit was probably annoyed.</p><p>She hadn’t decided what she was going to do with the cats once they were old enough to adopt out. She knew with her work she couldn’t keep them. Not without changing her schedule significantly. She didn’t want to keep them just to have them stay with other people.</p><p>Unfortunately, no one had responded to the found posters she’d had her assistant print out and post around her neighborhood. This made her think that Bit really had been a stray, or at the very least no one wanted her. She sighed as she looked down at her watch again. She’d been checking on them about every half hour which seemed excessive, but she’d found that if she waited any longer, she’d just get antsy and not get any work done. She put out her cigarette in an ash tray, she’d only been smoking when she was away from the cats, and headed upstairs.</p><p>When Billie arrived to the laundry room, she saw Bit getting situated again onto the bed with all of her kittens. Or at least 5 of them. She sighed in annoyance before she confirmed who was missing, and immediately left the room in search for him.</p><p>This was the third time the Bit had moved Mickey to her room. She found him exactly where he’d been last time, on her pillow. She moved to pick him up and he stirred slightly before making the cutest little noise. Billie smiled before taking him back to the laundry room where Bit was busy grooming herself. She put him back among the other kittens, and after checking on them she headed back downstairs.</p><p>It was only a few minutes later when she heard the sound of quiet footsteps upstairs. She listened carefully and waited until she heard Bit jump up onto something to go investigate. She reached the top of the stairs at the same time that Bit was leaving her room and darting back to the laundry room. She groaned loudly as she saw Mickey lying on her pillow again shifting and mewling from being jostled once again.</p><p>“For the love of…”</p><p>You were still hiking at one of your favorite spots when Billie was struggling to deal with her cats. It wasn’t too crowded at the park you’d chosen because it was the middle of the day on a Monday. That said, there were still plenty of people and dogs around to keep your mind from wandering too much to Billie.</p><p>You had to be a little careful with Milo when out in public. Not because he was aggressive, but because it was easy for him to get overwhelmed.  He was blind in one eye due to an injury he’d suffered when he was a puppy, and it was sometimes difficult for him to keep track of everything around him. That said, even though parts of this park were designated off-leash areas, Milo usually preferred to stay by your side. He could be a little anxious when surrounded, but he was getting a lot better from going to work with you every day.</p><p>For this reason, you weren’t too concerned when you saw a family with several children approaching you on the trail. Milo loved children.</p><p>After Milo got his fill of pets from the children, the two of you continued on your path toward the park. Your mind started to wander as Milo dragged you toward the wide-open space with at least a dozen dogs. The two of you were only half way through your walk, but you had a feeling you’d be stopping for a while to make friends.</p><p>At the end of the walk when you arrived back to your car, you realized that you had been without cell service for most of the walk. You had a couple of text messages from Billie Dean, one of which included a picture. That made you smile until you read the message that came with the picture of Mickey sleeping in Billie’s arms.</p><p>
  <em>Why does Bit keep moving him out of bed and dumping him in my room? </em>
</p><p>You frowned at the thought of this happening, but before you could respond Milo barked and reminded you that you hadn’t opened the door for him. You sighed before getting him settled in the backseat before leaning against the car to type a quick response.</p><p>
  <em>I’m not sure, but Bit may just not want to take care of him. </em>
</p><p>You consider how that might make Billie feel, but realize that you can’t really sugar coat it. Sometimes a mother abandoned their runts because she didn’t think they’d survive. You hoped that this wasn’t the case for Mickey, but hearing what Bit’s been doing doesn’t make you feel very optimistic. You realize that Billie had sent this message over an hour ago so you send another quick message before heading home.</p><p>
  <em>Sorry I didn’t respond earlier. I’m out hiking with Milo. </em>
</p><p>The drive home takes a little longer than it usually would because you take a detour at the pet store. You made the mistake of making Milo wait too long in the backseat by himself and he’d chewed his leash in half out of spite. At least that’s what you told yourself. So you led him on a short leash into the pet store to find a replacement. You find one in a few minutes and are headed to the register when you hear someone behind you say your name.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N.”</p><p>You turn to see an employee that you had honestly hoped wasn’t working today. She wasn’t at the register like she’d been last time and you’d foolishly hoped that meant she wasn’t in. You tried not to sigh in annoyance as you turned around with a tight smile, waving the leash in your hand slightly.</p><p>“Hey. How are you?”</p><p>You ask as a courtesy because you honestly don’t want to spend any more time talking to this woman. You didn’t have anything against the brunette, except that she couldn’t take a hint. She was persistent to the point that it made you a little uncomfortable. The first time you were in here she’d asked you way too many personal questions, and since then you’d called the vet clinic here a few times and whenever she answered she’d flirt some more.</p><p>You hoped that this wouldn’t happen again, but when you noticed Claire’s smile you realized it was wishful thinking.</p><p>“Oh I’ve been fine. Just bored silly around here. You haven’t called much.”</p><p>You didn’t really know how to respond to this, so you shrugged before gesturing to Milo who seemed to remember the brunette. He tried to move forward to sniff her, but his leash wasn’t long enough.</p><p>“Well, I’m not at work today, as you can see. I just needed a new leash for Milo.”</p><p>Saying this was a mistake because Milo heard his name and his tail started wagging which was the only invitation Claire needed. She moved forward and knelt down to pet him making the same mistake a lot of people do. She reached for him on his blind side and he jerked back a little before turning his head so he could see the hand petting him. He panted happily once Claire took the hint before his tail resumed wagging. You tried not to glare at him for being a traitor. It wasn’t his fault.</p><p>“Aw did you eat your leash? Handsome boy.”</p><p>You were glad that at least Milo was having fun. You just nod before shifting slightly so you could look around you for an excuse to leave.</p><p>“Yeah, he wasn’t too happy with me.”</p><p>You pause as you spot the food aisle a little bit away before adding. “You’ll be lucky to get dinner after doing that, Milo.”</p><p>Your bluff had its intended effect and Milo pulled away from Claire and started pawing at you. You just rolled your eyes before leading him toward the end of the aisle. To your escape.</p><p>“Yeah, I know. Dinner time. We can go.”</p><p>Milo tugs you to toward the front door but you stop by the register first, not failing to notice that the brunette followed you. You went to the first open register and put the leash on the conveyor belt before shooting the person behind the counter a pleading look. She was on your side.</p><p>“Hi Emma.”</p><p>
  <em>Help me.</em>
</p><p>The blonde looked between you and her coworker with a frown, quickly understanding what had happened. It wasn’t like Claire was subtle. She’d ask about you almost every day she was working in the clinic, not that she’d told you that.</p><p>“Hey, doc. What’s up?”</p><p>You offer the blonde a smile before you open your mouth to respond when you’re cut off. You watch Claire move so she’s standing right next to Emma, practically pushing her out of the way as eyed you curiously.</p><p>“Yeah, if you’re not working you must be free tonight.”</p><p>There are a lot of different ways you’d like to respond to this, but you choose to do your best to hide how annoyed you are as you shake your head. You’re free as a bird tonight, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to tell her that.</p><p>The lie you come up with though isn’t one you had intended on using.</p><p>“Actually, I’m not. I’m going out with my girlfriend.”</p><p>Luckily it doesn’t seem like Claire’s prepared a response for this, and you just breathe a sigh of relief as Emma hands you your bag with a smile.</p><p>“Thanks. Good to see you two.”</p><p>You leave quickly and curse yourself the whole way to the car. What an idiot. Why would you say that?</p><p>You’re ticked at Claire for being so aggressive, again. You slammed the door shut behind Milo, without meaning to, and you hurried to get in the car to scratch him behind his ears. You shoot him an apologetic look before sighing in defeat. You hate that you’d lied and that your self-esteem took a hit as well, but what could you do? It’s not like you were going to agree to going anywhere with Claire.</p><p>“Sorry, buddy. Let’s get you home for some dinner, hmm? Then we can watch whatever you want.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lunch 'date'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Billie Dean realized that Bit wasn’t going to take care of Milo beyond occasionally feeding him, she took it upon herself to keep him warm. She’d sent you an update a while ago, but hadn’t heard back, so she was keeping Mickey with her at all times.</p><p>She still had things to do today, so she’d changed into more comfortable clothes, she’d had to dig around her closet for a while to find something appropriate for carting Mickey around. She’d eventually settled on a hoodie she hadn’t remembered keeping and made her way downstairs to work some more with Mickey wrapped in a smaller blanket, in her pocket. It wasn’t ideal and she’d have to take him back up at some point to try and nurse more, but for now she had to figure out what her week was going to look like.</p><p>She had talked to her assistant, Michelle, about finding a more suitable pet sitter. She needed them to take care of Mickey like she was now. It was a pain, but she needed to find someone who would actually do it. She was willing to pay however much she needed to until he was out of the woods. Hopefully that wouldn’t be too long, but finding someone meant she could focus on work again.</p><p>She had just finished 2 months of filming in Europe for her show. She was tired and glad to be home. Luckily now that things had been finished up last week, she would have more free time. Still, she had a lot of promotional things to do such as interviews and she might have to rerecord some things. Honestly a lot of her responsibilities at this point just involved making decision. That could mostly be done from home.</p><p>Most of it could be done by her assistant, but Billie was keeping Michelle busy with finding her a pet sitter. For this reason, she sat down in front of her computer and answered more emails than she had in a while. She sighed in relief when she was done and reached for a cigarette without thinking. It was already in her mouth when she looked down to Mickey who was sleeping in her pocket. She sighed in defeat before putting it down so she could check on him. He looked comfy so she didn’t want to bother him now. It had only been about an hour, but it was almost dinner time.</p><p>When Billie realized this, she reached for her phone to check and see if you responded. It had been a while and she wondered what you were up to. She really had no idea what you did in your free time, outside of watching movies.</p><p>--------</p><p>Billie scrolled through her unread texts before she saw one from you that must have come in while she was on the phone earlier. She frowned at your first message because it confirmed what she feared. If Bit didn’t want to take care of Mickey that could mean that she might have to bottle feed him. That sounded like a giant pain. She decided not to worry about that until she had to.</p><p>The second message made her curious. She wondered who Milo was. Maybe a boyfriend? She disregarded the thought quickly because she was pretty sure that you were single. She had a feeling you wouldn’t have flirted with her, let alone asked her out without mentioning that you were dating someone.</p><p>Billie hadn’t been subtle when they’d met. She had been flirting and Y/N had flirted back. You didn’t strike her as the dense type, you were clearly smart, but she supposed she couldn’t know for sure. At least not until Saturday.</p><p>She considered the place they’d chosen for lunch. It was closer to her than the vet’s office which she was grateful for. She also knew that it wouldn’t really have mattered. She was eager to see you again, so much so that it should be embarrassing. She couldn’t really explain it. She just wanted to see what happened between you two.</p><p>Billie’s attention was pulled from her phone when Mickey shifted slightly in her pocket. She decided it was time to check on the other kittens, so she texted you back quickly before heading upstairs yet again.</p><p>
  <em>Not a problem. Did you and Milo have a good time? </em>
</p><p>Milo was asleep on the couch when this text reached you and you laughed out loud as you looked to see how he was positioned. The dog was curled up on top of one of the throw pillows that was way too small for all of him to fit on. That said, the rest of him was slung over the armrest in what looked like the most uncomfortable position ever. You rolled your eyes before snapping a picture and sending it to Billie.</p><p>
  <em>We did. He tired himself out. </em>
</p><p>You go to the kitchen to figure out dinner after sending the message. You don’t expect an answer quickly but only a few minutes later your phone buzzes from your pocket. You were in the middle of cooking, so you finished up before looking to see what Billie said.</p><p>
  <em>He’s so adorable. Mickey and the other kittens are sleeping too.</em>
</p><p>You squint slightly at the picture that she sent you, trying to figure out where it was taken. It’s obviously Mickey sleeping somewhere dark, but it’s a weird angle and you’re at a loss. So you text her back asking where she’s keeping him. Hopefully she was taking your advice to heart and she was keeping a close eye on him.</p><p>
  <em>Where’s Mickey sleeping? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>In my pocket. </em>
</p><p>You laugh so loudly that you wake Milo up.</p><p>The next couple of days are a little less hectic for Billie Dean. Michelle found someone qualified to take care of Mickey and company, she needed to come up with names for the rest of them, while she was at the studio. They didn’t seem to have any troubles and they sent her text messages every so often which she appreciated.</p><p>It seemed ridiculous to be so nervous about these kittens, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted them to do well so they could go to good homes. She had decided that once they were old enough, she would take them to the clinic to be adopted out. She trusted you to send them to good homes. Even Bit who would definitely be fixed before going off to her next home. Hell, Billie might even have it done sooner. The idea of her getting out and doing this all over again made her physically and mentally exhausted.</p><p>You and Billie exchange text messages every day, but you’re back at work and busy for most of the day, so they’re pretty spotty. Once you get home, you barely have the energy to make yourself dinner, but you somehow manage to check in on Billie and the cats. So far, so good. They’re all getting bigger and one is close to opening their eyes according to Billie.</p><p>It isn’t until Friday night that you allow yourself to freak out about your lunch ‘date’ with Billie. You’ve been keeping yourself busy so that you’re not stressing too much. However, your method for keeping busy was watching her show after work, and even on lunch one day. Erin, who had helped you with Billie’s appointment, had actually caught you and you’d been able to play it off easily enough, but you’d been frazzled around her for the rest of the day. Erin had been glad that you were finally watching it because it was great and Billie was amazing and inspiring and the idea of seeing this woman, this celebrity again was growing more and more intimidating.</p><p>Sometimes you wished that you could just enjoy things and not stress about them up until they happened. Unfortunately, that wasn’t who you were, and you were still a little tense when you got in your car Saturday to meet her.</p><p>It was a pretty popular place that you two were meeting at, but it wasn’t hard to spot Billie once you realized where you should look. She was tucked away in a back corner outside. You stopped to talk to the hostess for a moment before you were pointed in the right direction. Not that you noticed.</p><p>You took a deep breath as you headed for Billie, watching as she noticed you from a couple tables away and stood up. You only had a moment to take in her appearance, a knee-length floral dress with heels that made her much taller than you.  You were a little surprised when she hugged you, but you didn’t complain when you recognized the same perfume she’d been wearing at her appointment. You don’t have time to question how you remembered that before Billie was speaking.</p><p>“Good to see you again, Y/N. Goodness you’re so tense.”</p><p>She chuckles under her breath while you blush slightly at the reminder about how you’d failed to calm down on the way here. You sit down across from the blonde before shrugging slightly. You looked down to where the medium’s nails-a different color this time-were fiddling with a cigarette.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry. I’m just a little—it’s good to see you too.”</p><p>You cut yourself off before you can say anything too embarrassing, but Billie Dean, clearly realizing what you were going to say, shoots you a questioning look. You watch as she brings her cigarette to her lips, a lighter not far behind it before shooting you a different kind of look.</p><p>“Do you mind, sweetheart?”</p><p>You usually don’t like it when people smoke around you, but you can’t bring yourself to say no to her. You shake your head before watching as she lights it and takes a drag. You know you’re staring, but you can’t help it. You never really saw smoking as attractive. Until now of course.</p><p>“You’re a little what?”</p><p>You pull your gaze away from the cigarette now over the ash tray between you before looking back to Billie’s face to see that look is still there. You shake your head remembering what she’d asked before shifting slightly in your seat.</p><p>“Um—nothing—nervous. Just a little.”</p><p>You take back the lie when Billie raises an eyebrow in disbelief at you, and you briefly wonder how anyone gets away with lying to this woman. She’s still eyeing you in a way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope, so you look back to your hands that are fidgeting in your lap.</p><p>“Why are you nervous, sweetheart?”</p><p>Okay. You feel a blush rise to your cheeks at the question and the damn pet name again. You almost want to ask her to stop, but you’d never do that. You would never mean it. It was just damn distracting and you almost forgot to answer when Billie speaks up again.</p><p>“You don’t have to be nervous, Y/N.”</p><p>You nod to yourself and try to summon your courage as you sit up straighter. You open your mouth to agree and maybe apologize for being such a mess when the medium adds something that stops you cold.</p><p>“I won’t bite. Yet.”</p><p>You feel your brain short-circuit at the thought of biting-oh god and your face flushes as red as a tomato. You hear her chuckle, but you miss the almost apologetic look she shoots you as you shake your head to clear it of <em>those </em>thoughts.</p><p>“Right, uh. I guess I just didn’t know what to expect.”</p><p>Billie nods in understanding as she takes another drag before offering you a smile.</p><p>“I don’t expect anything from you, Y/N. I just wanted to get to know you a little better.”</p><p>Any response you were going to give was interrupted when your waiter, Rick, came to take your drink orders. You just ordered a soda before taking the menu handed to you. You missed what Billie ordered as you busied yourself with looking for something to get. Despite the fact that you’d looked at the menu beforehand and knew exactly what you were getting.</p><p>“Okay. I can do that.”</p><p>You smile shyly as you duck behind your menu when Billie laughs. She takes another drag of her cigarette before putting it out and moving the tray from between the two of you. You watch over your menu curiously before you hear her voice again and your attention snaps back to her face.</p><p>Her hair looks a lot like how it did when you first met. It looks so soft and you really want to run your fingers through it.</p><p>“How long ago did you move to L.A?”</p><p>This question surprises you a little bit and Billie just smiles as you put down your menu before answering. You smile slightly as you do the math in your head quickly.</p><p>“Almost 6 weeks.”</p><p>You pause before asking, “How did you know?”</p><p>Billie’s smile widens as she thought back to your conversation earlier this week. “You didn’t seem to realize that it doesn’t get very cold here.”</p><p>You laugh before nodding. That’s what you thought had tipped her off. That and the fact that you had no idea who she was. Not that you’d told her that yet, or planned to.</p><p>“That makes sense. All I really looked into when I got my job offer was housing. I figured the rest would sort itself out later.”</p><p>Billie waited until your waiter came back with your drinks before responding. When he asked if you were ready to order, Billie told you to go first and she watched you curiously as you spoke with Rick. She smiled when you turned to her once you’re finished and she orders before handing her menu off to Rick.</p><p>“Did you and Milo make the trip together?”</p><p>You smile at the mention of your dog. You had sent Billie at least three more pictures of him throughout the week since he was always with you. Even at work, there was a doggy daycare so he was hardly ever home alone. You hoped that he wasn’t ripping anything up as you speak.</p><p>“Yeah, we drove here since he would have lost his mind on a plane, but it was a nice, long trip.”</p><p>You told Billie about how the day after graduation, you packed up your car and drove cross country with your dog. It took you about a week because you stopped a lot to sightsee, but it was relaxing and you definitely were glad you did it. You didn’t mention any family, but Billie didn’t ask so you decided to save that for later.</p><p>“I’d lived there all my life, but L. A’s a nice change. Not that I’ve seen much of it.”</p><p>Billie smiles at this and she bites back a flirty comment as she watches something change in your expression. It’s gone so quickly that she doubts she even saw it before you shoot her a smile, your dimples making you look adorable.</p><p>“Enough about me. What about you Billie?”</p><p>Billie smiled before she shot you a surprised look. “You mean you didn’t Google me?”</p><p>She had been kidding, but when she saw you blush slightly, she was glad that she’d said it.</p><p>God you were adorable.</p><p>You searched for a distraction and settled for taking a sip of your drink as you tried to figure out what to say. The truth was embarrassing, but you didn’t really want to say anything else. So you sighed in defeat as you put your glass down, and met Billie’s smug smirk.</p><p>“I actually didn’t Google you until you agreed to lunch. I honestly…I didn’t know who you were until about ten minutes before you arrived at the clinic.”</p><p>This surprised Billie, but she didn’t say so because she didn’t want to sound like a narcissist. Instead, she decided to see what you were willing to tell her.</p><p>“Really? Well did you learn anything interesting?”</p><p>You laughed before shrugging in faux disinterest. You’d read a lot about Billie Dean, but that didn’t mean you were going to tell her that. You didn’t simply want to tell Billie her life story. You’d rather hear it from her.</p><p>“Nothing as interesting as what you could tell me, I’m sure.”</p><p>You smile as you watch Billie stop short of reaching for her cigarette. She turns to you looking faintly surprised before she just laughs.</p><p>“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”</p><p>Instead of offering a verbal response, you just smile widely only to break out into a laugh as Billie rolls her eyes at you.</p><p>“Well, I just got back from Europe last week. We’d been filming there for the past couple of months.”</p><p>This piqued your interest because you’d been to Europe a couple of years ago, but you hadn’t gone much further than Germany and Italy.</p><p>“Really? Where in Europe?”</p><p>Billie Dean spent up until your food came talking about the months she’d spent in Europe. She talked about what she’d seen and a little about the spirits she’d encountered. She made sure to check periodically to see if you were actually interested, but there was really no need. You were so invested in what the medium was saying that you didn’t pay your food any attention once it arrived. You were starving, but you didn’t want to miss anything that Billie said.</p><p>“I’m just glad that it wasn’t a complete waste of time. Sometimes that happens and it’s frustrating.”</p><p>You nod as you think about how this must work. You supposed that it was a common occurrence for Billie to run into stubborn souls who didn’t want anything to do with her. You had heard her say in one of her episodes that she could sense spirits without seeing them, and if they wanted to be seen they would reveal themselves. Otherwise, she was just talking to air and that was difficult to make entertaining.</p><p>“Can I ask a potentially dumb question?”</p><p>Billie nodded before she took a bite of her lunch. You watched as she swallowed before offering you an encouraging smile.</p><p>“Of course, Y/N.”</p><p>You nod before taking a moment to figure out how to best word this. It was bound to sound generic and like something she’d been asked a million times before, but you were genuinely curious. You knew very little about mediums. Unless the one or two episodes of Long Island Medium you’ve seen counted.</p><p>“Does it ever get difficult to tell who is a spirit and who isn’t? If they appear around you anywhere, how do you differentiate between them and just another person at this restaurant?”</p><p>You look around the crowded area as you say this, missing how Billie looks over your other shoulder instead. She takes a deep breath before closing her eyes briefly. She doesn’t notice that you’d turned back until she opens her eyes to see you looking at her curiously. Billie immediately shakes her head with a small smile despite her slight unease.</p><p>“It’s not a dumb question, honey. The best answer would be that it was confusing at first, but now that I’ve learned to pick up on their energies and hear their thoughts, it’s easier.”</p><p>You try to imagine this, but you fall short because how can you? The idea of living your everyday life and being able to feel and see dead people was overwhelming. You looked back to Billie to ask one final question when you notice she’d fiddling with the cigarette she put out a while ago.</p><p>“What’s your favorite part about your gift?”</p><p>This question is a little unexpected. Billie immediately stops fidgeting and smiles at you in admiration. Most people see her gift as a burden, or as a way to make money. Some even see it as an opportunity to exploit spirits for the sake of entertainment. She can see that you are truly just curious, and that you aren’t put off by the idea like a lot of people are initially. Or worse, fawning over it and asking her to sense the room or anything like that.</p><p>“I love when I can help people who don’t realize that their loved ones are still with them.”</p><p>Billie’s answer strikes a chord in you and you try to hide it, but you are a terrible liar. You knew you’d failed when you saw Billie frown slightly, but you spoke up quickly so you didn’t have to talk about <em>that. </em>You weren’t ready and the idea of doing so now, especially with someone you’d just met was terrifying.</p><p>“You must find that very rewarding.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t answer immediately, but you pretend not to notice as you busy yourself with your food. Billie can tell you don’t want to talk about it, so she just files your reaction away for another time before nodding in agreement.</p><p>The rest of lunch goes smoothly and by the time it’s over almost three hours have passed. It’s practically dinner time.</p><p>You don’t want to leave. You’ve enjoyed the time spent with Billie so much. She’s so easy to talk to, and you could honestly listen to her speak for hours and hours. It wasn’t until Billie looked at her watch that you realized she needed to go. You figured she had to get back to work, but she shook her head when you asked.</p><p>“Duty calls?”</p><p>Billie smiles before shaking her head. She’d finished all of her work this morning so she could spend as much time as possible with you. She hadn’t told you that and probably wasn’t going to, but she did need to get home.</p><p>“Not quite. I just need to check on the kittens soon.”</p><p>She watches you smile at this before sitting up slightly to lean in a bit in interest.</p><p>“Oh right. They’re still doing okay?”</p><p>Billie confirms that all of the kittens are doing well. They’re all growing and nursing and despite the extra attention that Mickey requires, he’s doing well too.</p><p>“They are. They’re getting so big. I swear they’ll probably be walking around soon.”</p><p>You laugh at this before trying to imagine 6 kittens wandering around Billie’s home. You picture all of them sitting on the medium and that’s just too adorable. You’re pulled from your daydream when Rick comes back with the check. You grab it before Billie can and smile victoriously when you see her pout.</p><p>“Sweetheart I was --.”</p><p>“Nope, I’ve got it!”</p><p>You quickly hand your card to Rick, trying not to freak out at the idea of him hearing Billie call you sweetheart. You feel your cheeks heating up so you just smile as you look back to Billie with a wave of your hand.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I asked you here after all, so my treat.”</p><p>Billie was still frowning as she shook her head and you opened your mouth to offer some sort of reassurance. You didn’t get a chance before she was smiling at you in a way that made you swoon.</p><p>“Alright, but next time, it’s on me.”</p><p>You can only nod dumbly as you try to process the fact that Billie Dean just implied that she wants to see you again. You barely notice Rick bring your card back as you frantically try to think of when you’ll be free next.</p><p>“Have a good rest of the day, ladies.”</p><p>You look up at that point a little caught off guard, but before you can stumble over a response Billie speaks for you both. You just focus on doing a little math and signing your name before putting your card back in your wallet.</p><p>“Ready to go, Y/N?”</p><p>You nod and stand-up following Billie’s lead out to the parking lot. You realize she’s just following you to your car, and you turn to ask her where she parked, but a hand on your lower back stops you.</p><p>“It’s okay, I’ll walk you to your car.”</p><p>You were so focused on just getting out of there with some semblance of your dignity that you hadn’t realized that people were taking notice of Billie. You just nod and start digging in your pocket for your keys. You unlock your car, leaning against it before you turn to Billie with a smile.</p><p>“It was good seeing you again, Billie. We should do this again sometime.”</p><p>You say this kiddingly, but at the same time you’re completely serious. Billie chuckles under her breath before nodding in agreement. She brushes some loose hair behind her ear and shoots you a dazzling smile.</p><p>“We should. When are you free next?”</p><p>You don’t even pretend like you hadn’t been thinking about it since the check came and responded immediately.</p><p>“My next days off are Thursday and Friday. What about you?”</p><p>Billie’s slightly disappointed that she’ll have to wait that long, you are too, but she mentions that her nights are pretty free next week. So you decide on dinner next Thursday night, since you work next weekend before you part ways.</p><p>Billie seems a little more on edge than she was when you arrived, and a quick glance around confirms why. Of course people will take notice of Billie Dean Howard. You just smile before reaching out to squeeze her hand.</p><p>“I’ll see you at some undisclosed location Thursday night?”</p><p>Billie insisted on surprising you for next time and you couldn’t help but find it both romantic and nerve-wracking. She merely nodded before letting you know that you’ll just have to be patient.</p><p>“I’ll let you know Wednesday, Y/N. Thank you for lunch.”</p><p>With one last squeeze, Billie released your hand and left you a little dazed. You watch her walk away until you realize you’re staring, so you quickly get in your car and shut the door. You take a deep breath before getting buckled and heading home.</p><p>You leave the parking lot and are a couple blocks away before you start screaming.</p><p>You have a date with Billie Dean.</p><p>You’re going on a date with Billie Dean Howard.</p><p>When you get home, you’re eternally grateful that Milo didn’t tear anything up. After a quick run through of the place to confirm this you retreat to your room to change clothes. You’re antsy all of a sudden, not that it takes a lot of thought to figure out why. You’re excited, terrified and you feel like crying a little which seems ridiculous. So instead of doing all of these things you decide to take Milo on a walk that will probably turn into a run to burn some energy and hopefully calm yourself down.</p><p>“Ready for a walk, Milo?”</p><p>As you predicted, your adorable dog runs to find his leash and bring it to you. You make sure you have your keys and phone safely tucked away before heading out.</p><p>You’re not typically someone who likes exercising in front of people, and if you didn’t have Milo you wouldn’t be going out for a run right now. Luckily your insecurities and paranoia are the last thing on your mind as you lock up and take off down the street, Milo right beside you.</p><p>You were too busy thinking about your date with Billie Dean.</p><p>Holy shit, what were you going to wear?</p><p>
  <em>Up next – dinner date and maybe you’ll go to her house and see some…kittens! </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kittens and dinner</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this one took a little longer. I’m back at work, and then I’ll be back in school. As always, enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thursday couldn’t come fast enough for either of you. Vet clinics were always busy during the summer no matter where in the country you were. People had more free time which they happened to spend outside with their pets. More people were bringing their dogs in for snake bites than you were used to back East. That said, you had never seen a dog or cat get bitten by a rattlesnake before, but you were already on your third one this week.</p>
<p>You were still texting Billie when you had the chance, but she was busier this week too so you didn’t usually hear back from her until after work. You were happy to hear that Mickey had been the first kitten to open his eyes on Tuesday and another couple had followed this morning. You were being bombarded with kitten pictures and questions as they got older, but you loved it. They looked so cute, and you were thrilled that Billie was enjoying their company.</p>
<p>She still had someone take care of them during the day, but at night you would usually get a kitten report and a picture of the entire family. Bit was being a little more receptive to taking care of Mickey again now that he was a little bigger, but she still didn’t pay him as much attention as the others. As soon as he was done nursing, he was usually moved meaning that Billie had to keep him around her a lot between feedings to keep him warm.</p>
<p>They didn’t have names yet, but Billie had told you she’d decide once they came in for their visit next week. Hopefully it would be a little easier to tell their sex at this point, but you weren’t optimistic since they would only be a little more than three weeks old. Usually you couldn’t do accurate sex determination until 5 weeks, but at the very least it would be another opportunity to see the kittens and Billie again.</p>
<p>Billie was just as busy as you were this week. Her producer had told her that she had a lot of ADR to do. A majority of her dialogue from the first few episodes needed to be recorded. These episodes had taken place in one of the noisiest buildings she’d ever filmed in. An old school for the mute ironically.</p>
<p>As a result, she’d been spending a lot of time running back and forth between the studio and home this week, and by the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around she was exhausted. She was excited for tomorrow night though. She’d already made a reservation at a restaurant she hoped you’d like. It was nicer than the café and definitely fitting for your first date because it was definitely a date.</p>
<p>Billie was distracted from her plans for tomorrow night by her assistant’s knock on the door. She had been taking her lunch break which was almost over when Michelle came to find her.</p>
<p>Billie turned with a smile assuming the blonde was just going to tell her it was time to get back to work. She hadn’t been expecting the stressed out look she wore. Billie hadn’t even considered what was actually wrong.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>Michelle shifted some of the things in her arms to one side so she could hold up her phone.</p>
<p>“Heather called. There’s been an accident with one of the kittens.”</p>
<p>You were just finishing lunch when Billie called you. You were sitting at your desk trying to finish up some records between eating when you hear your phone buzzing from under the pile of papers. When you realized that the continued buzzing meant someone’s trying to call you, the shifting of papers becomes slightly more frantic. You let most of them drop into your lap or on the floor before you manage to grab your phone. Seeing it’s Billie you smile before answering quickly.</p>
<p>“Hey, Billie, wh-?”</p>
<p>You don’t get to finish your sentence as Billie interrupts you in a frantic voice. You listen carefully while grabbing the nearest pen to take notes.</p>
<p>“Y/N, Heather called. Mickey fell from her pocket. She thinks he’s okay, but would you have time to see him?”</p>
<p>You don’t even bother looking at your schedule knowing that you’d make the time before telling Billie to bring him in. She hesitated slightly before mentioning that she couldn’t leave work and that Heather would be bringing him. You said that was fine before asking if she told you anything specifically about what had happened.</p>
<p>It sounded like he had been moving around more than expected and he’d just walked out of her pocket. She said it was only a few feet, but you said it was still a good idea to bring him in. You hung up with her after promising to give her a call once you took a look at him.</p>
<p>You quickly picked up your papers before putting Mickey on the schedule and heading downstairs to let someone know. Billie said that she was already on her way because she’d called from the car not sure of where to go, so she’d be here soon hopefully.</p>
<p>You get downstairs and see that most people are still on lunch. A few assistants are still on the clock, and the first one you see is on the phone. You go into the back and see that Erin is still eating lunch with another assistant, so you intend to continue your search for someone else when she sees you.</p>
<p>“Hey Dr. Y/L/N. What’s up?”</p>
<p>You decide to tell her because you have a feeling she wouldn’t mind cutting her lunch a little short. You’re not wrong and the brunette jumps up from her seat with a horrified look.</p>
<p>“What happened to the little Howard kitten?!”</p>
<p>You sigh as you explain the situation while Erin goes to the computer to clock back in. She then goes to the schedule and notices immediately that kitten 6 is now named.</p>
<p>“Aw his name’s Mickey. That’s so cute! So is she on her way?”</p>
<p>Erin follows you into the pharmacy as you nod in confirmation before you correct yourself.</p>
<p>“Actually, her pet sitter is bringing him in.”</p>
<p>You don’t miss how Erin visibly deflates at this news, and you feel bad for a second before she sighs in defeat.</p>
<p>“Aw well. They still have their regular kitten visits for me to fangirl over her.”</p>
<p>You barely hold back a laugh as you think about how Billie would respond to this. You have a feeling she’d like having a fan here at the office. Hell there are probably more.</p>
<p>“Have you watched any more of her show?”</p>
<p>The question surprises you but you try not to let it show as you mentally add up all the episodes of Billie’s show you’ve watched since your lunch on Saturday. You watched a couple a night if you weren’t too tired so that’s maybe 10 or so. You say this to Erin and she nods before asking a follow up question. You have no problem answering it because you have some time to kill, but you also don’t want to give anything away.</p>
<p>You hadn’t really considered how things would change at work if you started dating Billie. You doubted your paths would cross here other than when she brought her kittens. You didn’t expect random visits since this was a little out of her way, but you couldn’t be sure. You two hadn’t talked about that because well you hadn’t even gone on a real first date yet.</p>
<p>“Are you liking it? Have you seen the episode when she was in that asylum?”</p>
<p>You nod and open your mouth to respond when you hear the front door open. You hear a frantic voice and figure you know who it is. Erin picks up on this too and goes up front to go ahead and bring them to an exam room. She’d go in as soon as she did in case it was an emergency.</p>
<p>“Heather, can you tell me what happened?”</p>
<p>You felt bad for the younger woman. She was crying and barely calm enough to speak. You had a feeling she was terrified about getting fired or worse and unfortunately you couldn’t really reassure her of anything until you looked at Mickey.</p>
<p>The kitten was definitely bigger since you last saw him and that made you smile, but he was very sedate. He wasn’t bleeding and he had no obvious injuries, but as you carefully examined him, he definitely seemed off. You ignored the sound of Bit meowing from her carrier as Heather wipes her nose with a tissue before shaking her head.</p>
<p>“I was walking downstairs with him in my pocket like usual but before I got to the bottom of the stairs, I felt him fall out. I don’t—I don’t know how he did it, I didn’t feel him move or anything.”</p>
<p>You watch as the redhead begins to cry again and you rush to offer any reassurance you can at this point.</p>
<p>“Well he’s not bleeding so that’s a good sign. Do you know if he hit anything other than the ground? Did he roll down the stairs or anything like that?”</p>
<p>Heather shook her head before telling you that he’d just fallen out and then she saw him at the bottom of the stairs.</p>
<p>“He may have rolled down a few, I’m not sure. God is he going to be okay?”</p>
<p>You continue your exam not noting any abnormal heart rhythm or breathing patterns. You try to stand Mickey up but he definitely doesn’t want to do that. He whines slightly before falling back onto his stomach. You hear Heather mutter a curse before you come up with a plan.</p>
<p>“Has he nursed today, been normal otherwise?”</p>
<p>Heather just nods but she doesn’t look away from Mickey who is resting his head on the table, eyes closed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, completely normal.”</p>
<p>You nod before deciding to listen to him again, just to be sure. You take a minute, still not noticing anything abnormal before you share what you think.</p>
<p>“So the only thing I can appreciate on his exam is that he doesn’t want to stand up. His whining might be from pain, but it’s hard to tell. Does he usually make a lot of noise throughout the day?”</p>
<p>Heather just shakes her head and you nod before doing a couple of calculations in your head.</p>
<p>“Okay. Well there are a couple of things that we can do.”</p>
<p>You tell Heather that you can take x-rays to see if there is anything obviously broken from his fall. They could also just monitor him for the next few hours here before sending him home if nothing changes. The last and least favorable option would be to take him home and just see how he did.</p>
<p>Heather clearly didn’t want to do the last option as she shook her head and took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“No, I think I want to take x-rays to be sure, but I probably need to call Ms. Howard.”</p>
<p>You nod before mentioning that you promised to call her after the exam, and you don’t miss how Heather jumps on this opportunity. You don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to Billie right now. She’s probably upset and Heather’s clearly terrified. She’d buy Heather some time if that’s what she needed.</p>
<p>“You’ll call her?”</p>
<p>You nod before you look to the carrier that you assumed held all of the other kittens. That made sense. Leaving them home alone probably wouldn’t have been a good idea. God forbid something else happened.</p>
<p>“Of course. Just give me a few minutes and we’ll do whatever she wants. Erin’s going to take him back with us, you can wait in here if you like or the lobby.”</p>
<p>Heather just nods and thanks you before you retreat to the nearest phone. Erin is carefully cradling Mickey as she opens the door to the back to take him to treatment as you pick up the phone. You dial Billie’s number and wait for what feels like forever before someone you don’t recognize answers.</p>
<p>“Hello, this is Michelle, Ms. Howard’s assistant speaking.”</p>
<p>“Hi Michelle, I’m Dr. Y/L/N at Sunset clinic. I just finished looking at Mickey.”</p>
<p>You hear rustling in the background before hurried footsteps follow as Michelle quite possibly runs somewhere.</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re the vet! Great, just give me one second to find her.”</p>
<p>You just nod muttering ‘not a problem’ while you wait for Michelle to track Billie down. It doesn’t take long and you hear Michelle’s muffled voice saying that it’s you on the phone and Billie’s quick thank you before her voice is in your ear.</p>
<p>“Y/N, how is he?”</p>
<p>You relay what you’d told Heather to Billie and she is eerily quiet when you finish your explanation of the possible next steps. It isn’t until she speaks that you realized she jumped to worst case scenario.</p>
<p>“What will you have to do if he’s broken something?”</p>
<p>You try to figure out how to tell the most truth without getting into all of the possible complications.</p>
<p>“It would depend on what he broke, but I couldn’t get him to react to anything other than trying to make him stand. He was fine for everything else.”</p>
<p>Billie sighs and you swear you hear the flick of a lighter in the background. You don’t have to wait long for the medium to make her decision about what to do next. You’re not surprised by her decision at all. You know how much she adores Mickey.  </p>
<p>“Okay. You can go ahead and do x-rays, but is it possible for him to stay there for the rest of the day? I don’t want Heather to have to worry anymore about him.”</p>
<p>You nod because you were going to suggest keeping him here regardless. Not only was Heather really frazzled, but your techs here would be able to monitor him closely and bottle feed him.</p>
<p>“Of course, I’ll have my assistant take the x-rays while I go tell Heather.”</p>
<p>Billie sighs heavily before nodding in approval. “Thank you, Y/N.”</p>
<p>You smile briefly before hanging up and getting to work.  “Of course, Billie.”</p>
<p>Erin calls you into x-ray a couple of minutes later and you’re eternally grateful when you don’t see any broken bones. You look at the images taken thoroughly before you decide that there’s nothing concerning. Everything looks normal for a 2-week-old kitten. You’re relieved to get to tell Billie this, and you call her while holding Mickey in your lap.</p>
<p>“Hi, Y/N.”</p>
<p>“Hi Billie. So good news, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary for him. No broken bones.”</p>
<p>Billie sighs in relief before taking a drag. “Thank goodness. You’ll still keep him there though?”</p>
<p>“Definitely. We’ll keep a close eye on him for you and you can pick him up at the end of the day.” <br/><br/></p>
<p>Billie doesn’t need to look at her schedule to know that it will be a long day, so she shakes her head.</p>
<p>“I’ll probably have Michelle pick him up. I’m going to be working late.”</p>
<p>After everything is arranged, you talk to Michelle again to get her information before hanging up. Lunch is officially over and your first afternoon appointment is here. You sigh before realizing that you need to get Mickey set up before talking to Heather. You suspect that Erin popped in and told her that everything was fine, so you take your time setting up a space for Mickey and talking to your techs about the plan.</p>
<p>Hopefully it will be an easy, uncomplicated afternoon for him.</p>
<p>Despite knowing that Mickey wasn’t in any immediate danger, it was difficult for Billie to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. She’d called Heather to confirm that she was going home and would be able to stay late with the other kittens. She made sure to let her know that she wasn’t angry at her. Just thinking about how panicky she’d been during the conversation they’d had as she drove to the vet was enough to make Billie feel bad. Once she was satisfied that she’d calmed Heather’s nerves to the best of her ability, she tried to finish up everything that needed to be done today so she could go home and see Mickey.</p>
<p>She still had almost a full episode-worth of dialogue to record by the end of the day. Things were moving slowly because she had to rewatch all of the footage to time everything correctly. Billie supposed it wasn’t taking any more time than usual, she was just stressed.</p>
<p>Michelle had been nice enough to offer to call and check up on Mickey every so often, but you’d insisted that he would be fine. You’d promised to call if anything changed, so Billie tried to resist being an overbearing parent and refused to check in.</p>
<p>The blonde brought another cup of coffee into the recording booth Billie was in, and she shot the other woman a grateful look.</p>
<p>“Thank you, dear.”</p>
<p>Michelle just nodded with a small smile. “Of course. Is there anything else you need, Billie?”</p>
<p>The medium shakes her head before taking a long sip of coffee. She wished that she could have a cigarette, but that would have to wait until her next break. Which wasn’t going to be for a while.</p>
<p>“No, thank you, Michelle.”</p>
<p>The blonde leaves Billie alone in the booth for the next few minutes she has before she begins recording again. She takes a deep breath before looking back to the pages in front of her. This wouldn’t take too long, if she focused.</p>
<p>Billie didn’t even believe that lie by the time she started reading.</p>
<p>When you went to check on Mickey next, it was after your 3pm appointment. You’d gotten really busy and hadn’t been able to spare a glance at the kitten. You knew that your techs were taking good care of him, but you also felt obligated to watch over him as well. Not just because it was your job, but because you were worried. Mickey had a lot going against him. Being the runt, basically being rejected by Bit and now falling down the stairs.</p>
<p>He was a tough little guy for sure, but you just wanted to make sure that all of Billie’s love and attention wasn’t wasted. You had to make sure that this kitten made it. even if it meant checking on him every chance you got.</p>
<p>When you arrived to the back of treatment where he was being kept you smiled at the sight of him sleeping. He looked adorable.</p>
<p>“He’s pretty cute, isn’t he?”</p>
<p>You turn to see one of your techs watching you from where she’s cleaning instruments at the sink. You nod, not able to stop the smile on your face from growing wider as you watch him shift slightly in his sleep.</p>
<p>“He is. He’s gotten so big since I last saw him.”</p>
<p>Mina smiles as she finishes up what’s she doing before she comes over to stand next to you. You turn to her as she opens the door so you can get a good look at him.</p>
<p>“He’s been the perfect patient. He loved his formula and mostly just lies there. He was walking around a little while ago. If you can call it walking.”</p>
<p>You turn back to him with a smile glad to hear that he’s doing well. He opens his eyes a little at the sound of the door and makes the cutest mewling sound. As you watch him wake up more fully and wiggle around in his blankets you wonder how the hell Billie Dean is going to give him up.</p>
<p>“Here, doc. Did you want to feed him?”</p>
<p>Mina’s holding a small bottle filled with milk and you don’t hesitate to nod before taking it from her with a quiet thanks.</p>
<p>“He’s going to go fast if she brings him back here to be adopted out.”</p>
<p>You nod but otherwise say nothing because you have no doubt about this. Hell, if Billie doesn’t want him you’ll take him. Maybe.</p>
<p>You’re not sure Milo would like that.</p>
<p>After fawning over Mickey for a few minutes, you have to put him back in his bed when your next appointment arrives. You sigh as you look at the clock, it’s only 3:40. You’ve got almost three hours left of work at least. That doesn’t seem like much, but then you have the day off tomorrow and a whole day to prepare for your date with Billie.</p>
<p>As you make your way to the front of the clinic you remind yourself to figure out where you’ll be going sooner rather than later.</p>
<p>Billie Dean was finally done with work for the day. It was already 7 and getting home might take an hour with traffic. She was exhausted and ready to go home and sleep. Well first she had to check on the kittens of course. Mickey had been picked up and dropped off with Heather about 2 hours ago.</p>
<p>Michelle had called to tell her that Y/N had said that everything went well during his stay. He’d even walked around a little. Billie was thrilled to hear this and it took all of her self-control to not groan at the traffic she was already in.</p>
<p>While she sits stuck in traffic she thinks about your plans for tomorrow. Billie hadn’t told you where you were going yet, but she planned on calling you once she got home. Both to give you a heads up about tomorrow’s date but also to thank you. She was extremely grateful that you were able to see Mickey today and that you had been flexible. She knew it was your job, but she just felt better knowing that you were the one taking care of him. She knew that you wouldn’t lie to her.</p>
<p>By the time she got home, she was so tired she could fall asleep. She hadn’t realized how stressful it was dealing with work and worrying about the kittens until she stepped into her house and saw Heather sitting on the couch with Mickey in her lap.</p>
<p>“Ms. Howard.”</p>
<p>Billie just shook her head as she walked further into the room and gestured for the redhead to stand up. She did so, placing Mickey on the couch carefully—he was fast asleep before turning toward the older woman. She was ready to be yelled at, but when she was just pulled into a hug she was too stunned to react immediately. Eventually, when Billie squeezed a little harder, she realized that she had just been standing dumbly and finally hugged the medium back.</p>
<p>“Thank you for today. I’m sorry if you were worried about how I’d react.”</p>
<p>When Billie pulled away and immediately looked to Mickey, Heather moved out of the way so she could get to him. She was still a little on edge and felt like she at least needed to apologize again. She didn’t get very far though before Billie shook her head from where she was now sitting on the couch with Mickey on her lap.</p>
<p>“Still, I’m sorry I--.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize, sweetie. It’s okay, I know it wasn’t your fault.”</p>
<p>Heather sighs in defeat but doesn’t argue as she gathers her things to get ready to leave. She mentions how the other kittens are doing fine and she’d just seen them nursing. Billie smiles before she thanks Heather again and watches as she leaves through the front door.</p>
<p>Billie releases a sigh before she picks Mickey up carefully and inspects him. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. She smiled as he opened his eyes and made a small sound that made Billie want to crush him in a hug. She didn’t of course, and she just stood up and headed upstairs to change so she could carry him around with her to find some dinner.</p>
<p>You are still in the office when Billie Dean texts you. You got a little behind with records today and you had a few more to get to before you could head home. The buzzing of your phone pulls you from thoughts of skin allergies and you turn in your chair to look for the device. You stand up only for it to fall to the ground, having forgotten that you’d put it on your lap. You sigh before you bend over to pick it up along with some of the papers you have scattered on the floor.</p>
<p> You’re usually very organized, but this week has been a little crazy and staying on top of things has been difficult. It is especially difficult to concentrate when you always have a certain blonde and her kittens on your mind. You unlock your phone and see that Billie’s asking if you’re still at work.</p>
<p>You sigh again because unfortunately you are at least for the next 20 minutes. If you’re lucky. You have two more records to write up, and one of them was a little involved. You say something brief to this effect and continue typing while you wait for her response.</p>
<p>Billie is wondering if you usually stay at work this late. It was 8 o clock and she was barely hanging on to consciousness. She wouldn’t be awake if it weren’t for the glass of wine and the dinner she was forcing herself to eat. She sat with Mickey beside her on a makeshift bed as she looked through emails on her computer. It was late and she wasn’t answering any of them now. She was mostly being a little creepy and seeing what she could find out about you.</p>
<p>It only seemed fair since you’d Googled her.</p>
<p>That said, there was a lot less on you than there was on her. Billie was able to find out where you went to school, and she saw your graduation pictures, but you weren’t really on social media. Your Facebook hadn’t been updated in months and nothing she found really told her anything more than you had on Saturday.</p>
<p>Except one thing.</p>
<p>Billie didn’t read it though. Billie wanted to hear about Y/N from her instead of the internet or any other means. She closed her computer when her phone beeped and when she saw your message, she realized that almost half an hour had passed since you’d told her you were still working.</p>
<p>
  <em>We’re leaving now. </em>
</p>
<p>Attached to the text was a picture of Milo jumping up from where he stood next to you. You were holding up something that must have been a treat because Milo’s mouth was wide opened and headed straight for you hand. Billie considered calling you now, but figured you shouldn’t be distracted when you drive. Instead she sent you a text.</p>
<p>
  <em>Let me know when you’re home? I’ll tell you where we’re going tomorrow.</em>
</p>
<p>Billie sees that you’re typing, and once she gets an ‘ok’ in response she puts her phone down and heads upstairs. She needs to put Mickey with Bit for a while and see if he’ll nurse. She also needed a cigarette and really didn’t want to smoke around Mickey. All of the cats really, but only Mickey was ever in her pocket.</p>
<p>The other cats were all getting so big. They were still tiny, but they were much bigger than when she’d found them under the deck just a couple of weeks ago. All of them had opened their eyes at this point, and a lot of the time she sees them they’re trying to crawl around. She hasn’t seen that any of them leave the laundry room, but if they do, Bit herds them all back to bed so she’s none the wiser.</p>
<p>Once Mickey is settled with his brothers and sisters, Billie showers and is already in bed by the time you get home.</p>
<p>You let Milo run inside first before you head to the living room and collapse on the couch. You know that you need to eat dinner, but you’re so tired that you can’t even fathom getting up right now. You roll onto your back before digging your phone out of your pocket.</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m home. Do I get to know where we’re going now? </em>
</p>
<p>Almost as if she wants to hold you in suspense, it takes Billie almost 10 minutes to respond. Little did you know she was just checking on the cats one last time before leaving them to sleep. Luckily Bit had allowed all of the kittens to stay in bed with her during the night. It was only during the day, according to Heather, that Bit tries to push Mickey out onto the floor, if not move him to a different room altogether.</p>
<p>She arrives back to her bedroom to see that you’ve texted her. She smiles at your question before she finally tells you where she’s made reservations for tomorrow night.</p>
<p>You stare at your phone before you go to Google to figure out what restaurant this is. You really need to get out more. You see that it’s literally the fanciest restaurant you’ve never been to. You look at the menu because you have to plan ahead, and your eyes widen at the prices you see next to the dishes you’re not sure you can pronounce.</p>
<p>You hadn’t been super stressed about this date, only moderately stressed, but this just changed that.  You had never been treated to something like this, and despite the fact that it made you feel all sorts of dizzy, you weren’t sure you deserved it. You wondered how you could put this when another text message came in as you were still staring blankly at the menu.</p>
<p>
  <em>If you don’t want to go there, I can change the reservation. </em>
</p>
<p>You quickly open the text preparing to deny this, but you stop. It’s not that you don’t want to go there. Sure it’s a little intimidating and you feel like you’ll stick out like a sore thumb, but the idea of going there with Billie is a little…exhilarating. You briefly look to your closet trying to think of what you’d wear before you make your decision.</p>
<p>You’ve been telling yourself to go outside of your comfort zone since you’d moved here. Honestly you hated the idea of doing so, but having someone that you trust with you…You knew Billie would make sure you were comfortable. Clearly, since she was already checking in with you. Finally you sighed with a small smile. You were touched that she was being so thoughtful already and decided to take this chance. How bad could it be if Billie was with you?</p>
<p>Thursday night finally arrives and after spending a whole day lounging around and anticipating tonight’s date it’s finally time. Your first date with Billie. Since you plan things down to the minute, you arrived to the restaurant a little early. You were grateful since traffic had been, well L.A traffic. You honestly hadn’t lived in a big city before and you getting used to there being so much traffic all the time. You pulled into the parking lot only to be directed to the valet. Right. That happened here.</p>
<p>You get out of the car and sigh as the night air hits you. This is going to be fine. It will be fun damn it. It will be. You continue to tell yourself this as you make your way inside. You can’t help but look around at the predictably decorated interior. You don’t pay it much mind as you wait until the hostess is free and looks to you with a smile.</p>
<p>“Hi, how are you? Do you have a reservation?”</p>
<p>You smile as you nod and mention that you are supposed to be meeting Billie Dean Howard. She shoots you a curious look, but once you give your name she nods and leads you further into the restaurant.</p>
<p>You walk past a lot of people and you swear you see a celebrity or two, but you’re not here for them. You’re looking around in search of a familiar blonde when you spot her from over the hostess’s shoulder. You smile at the sight of Billie Dean sitting at a booth waiting for you.</p>
<p>She’s wearing another silk blouse, but this time she’s also wearing a string of pearls. You nearly run into the hostess you’re too busy staring at the medium’s hair that is styled a little differently, but luckily you stop just in time.</p>
<p>You wait until she turns to leave before you move to sit across from Billie. You smile as you get situated before looking to Billie again.</p>
<p>“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”</p>
<p>Billie taps her fingernails on the table, smiling as she watches you look to them before shaking her head.</p>
<p>“Not at all. I was trying to get here before you after all.”</p>
<p>You don’t have time to think about why this could be before Billie tells you. She’s smirking at your confused look but it soon turns flustered when she explains.</p>
<p>“I wanted to be able to watch you walk in.”</p>
<p>You couldn’t help but blush slightly at this and you shoot her a curious, teasing look.</p>
<p>“Well, was it worth it?”</p>
<p>Billie’s eyes light up, and you swear she looks impressed as she nods and shoots you a dazzling smile.</p>
<p>“More than. You look stunning, Y/N.”</p>
<p>You smile before taking a second chance to look at Billie and you blush harder when you see that her smile has turned to a smirk again.</p>
<p>“You too, Billie. You always look beautiful though.”</p>
<p>The medium scoffs and mutters something about that being nonsense. You don’t get a chance to argue with her before your waitress shows up. The tall blonde smiles at the two of you before handing each of you a menu.</p>
<p>“Good evening. My name’s Taylor and I’ll be your server for tonight. Can I get you started with something to drink?”</p>
<p>You had completely neglected to look at the drink menu, so you let Billie go first while you frantically searched through the list of drinks. You’d already decided that you were going to get something with alcohol. You were still a little tense and you knew that drinking tended to help you with this. As long as you didn’t overdo it.</p>
<p>So you ordered your favorite drink that wouldn’t get you more than a little tipsy before looking back across the table at Billie. You tried not to stare, but you just couldn’t believe what you saw. Part of you believed that if you closed your eyes, you’d find yourself back at your apartment realizing that this was all a dream. You weren’t sure how you got so lucky to attract the attention of someone like Billie Dean.</p>
<p>You were just grateful for Bit and her kittens bringing Billie to the clinic and into your life.</p>
<p>You’re still admiring the woman across from you when Taylor walks away. She looked back to you feeling herself want to smile again at your adoring look. She was accustomed to attracting attention. It came with the territory of being on television. She was used to people staring at her, fawning over her, and sometimes leering at her.</p>
<p>This wasn’t that though. You were looking at her with something that resembled awe, and that made her feel appreciated in a way she hadn’t for a long time. You weren’t with her tonight because of her money or her fame. You were after something else that Billie was quickly realizing, she was all too willing to give.</p>
<p>“You’re staring, sweetheart.”</p>
<p>You snap out of your trance and shoot Billie a shamefaced look. You mutter an apology that you don’t really mean. Well you didn’t mean to stare, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad for appreciating Billie Dean. You wanted to make sure that you never stopped doing that.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I—I don’t have a good excuse. I’m just—I really need to thank Bit for having her kittens under your house.”</p>
<p>Billie laughs at this as Taylor comes back to set your drinks down. You both need a little more time to look over the menu, so the blonde leaves as you start to look for the dish you’d seen earlier today.</p>
<p>When you watch Billie pick up her glass of wine but not take a sip you look up from your menu with a frown. She’s smiling at you as she looks between you and your glass, and you quickly take the hint. You grab your glass too and hold it up with a grin.</p>
<p>“To our second date.”</p>
<p>Your smile disappears as your brows furrow in confusion. Billie has to stop herself from mentioning how cute it looks.</p>
<p>“Second?”</p>
<p>Billie can’t stop herself from laughing; however, as she nods in confirmation. She could practically see your internal struggle and had to ask.</p>
<p>“Yes, did you not count Saturday?”</p>
<p>You flushed at the thought of Saturday being a date, meaning that this dinner was <em>not </em>your first date. You shook your head before shrugging at the realization that you were just dumb. You’d been so damned stressed with first date jitters only for this to be the second date.</p>
<p>You were a mess sometimes.</p>
<p>“I just—wasn’t sure, I guess. Am now though.”</p>
<p>Billie smiled at you again before she clinked your glasses together and took a sip of her wine. She didn’t break eye contact with you and you took a long sip of your drink to hide how her watching you made you feel all hot and bothered.</p>
<p>“Good. It’s settled then.”</p>
<p>You just nod dumbly before returning your attention to the menu in an attempt to calm your racing heart. You found the dish that you’d been eying earlier before turning to Billie. You plan to ask her if she’s been here before when she beats you to it.</p>
<p>“You can, by the way.”</p>
<p>Now you’re really confused. You must have missed something. What had you just been talking about?</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>The only response you had to what Billie Dean just said only made her smile wider. She shrugged as she opened her own menu, but didn’t really look at it. She was still watching you as she clarified her meaning.</p>
<p>“You can thank Bit, if you’d like. After this.”</p>
<p>Billie’s biting her lip to stop from laughing too loudly at how quickly your face turns red. She just can’t resist watching you flush so prettily at even the faintest suggestion. You just take a deep breath before muttering something that might be ‘dear god’ as you nod absentmindedly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure. Maybe—I mean—I haven’t seen the other kittens in forever.”</p>
<p>Billie Dean smiles victoriously before she decides to be merciful. She gives you a break as she changes the subject.</p>
<p>“Have you always wanted to be a vet?”</p>
<p>The abrupt change of subject surprises you despite how relieved you are. You’re not sure why you always act like such a prude around Billie. You’re not. It’s just the idea of<em> that, </em>doing any of that with the medium makes your head spin. If you think too much into it you might faint, so you are eager to answer Billie’s question and retreat from dangerous territory.</p>
<p>“No, definitely not. It wasn’t until the second year of college that I really committed to it.”  </p>
<p>Billie asks what influenced your decision, so you tried to explain it in the most concise way possible. You didn’t want to drone on or tell your entire life story. It’s just there wasn’t a one sentence answer to this. You’d gone from wanting to be a paleontologist to a marine biologist to a dentist (for the money), to a physical therapist before finally deciding on being a vet.</p>
<p>“When I was in high school, I went with my mom every weekend to visit my grandfather. I helped take care of him and everything and thought that’s what I wanted to do. It didn’t last too long though.”</p>
<p>You see from the way that Billie’s looking at you, that she has questions. You aren’t sure what she’s going to ask, but your waitress is back to take your orders before she gets the chance to. Billie fidgets slightly tapping her nails against the table while you order and it isn’t until you’re alone again that you consider what the cause might be.</p>
<p>Billie’s in the process of putting her hand back in her lap to stop herself from fidgeting when you speak up. You’re not sure you’re right, but you want to at least say this so Billie knows where you stand.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Billie frowns in confusion not realizing that you’d caught onto her nervous tick until she sees how you’re studying her. Still she nods and tries to play it off, but you don’t let her dismiss you that easily.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Y/N.”</p>
<p>You decide to take the risk.</p>
<p>“Are you sure because you look like you could use a cigarette, or at least a stronger drink. I wouldn’t mind either.”</p>
<p>Billie smiles wryly at this, laughing under her breath as she shakes her head. You just keep surprising her.</p>
<p>“Maybe, but I can only have one of those in here.”</p>
<p>That didn’t occur to you immediately, but a quick look around tells you that she’s probably right. You nod more to yourself than her before you take another sip of your drink.</p>
<p>“True.”</p>
<p>You sit in silence for a while before you realize that you hadn’t returned Billie’s question. You are curious to know the answer because honestly, you’re not sure what you could see Billie doing, other than her current job of course. There were so many possibilities.</p>
<p>“What about you? What did pre-medium Billie Dean want to do?”</p>
<p>Billie frowns as she considers this and you almost become worried before the medium merely shrugs her shoulders in response.</p>
<p>“I wanted to play tennis, but then my calling…called.”</p>
<p>You remember what you’d read about Billie becoming a medium at the age of 25. Then you think about 25-year-old Billie playing tennis. You’d never been a fan of the sport because you were terrible at it, but you definitely wouldn’t say no to watching Billie play.</p>
<p>“You played tennis?”</p>
<p>You’re really just asking for elaboration, but when Billie just smiles, you prompted her.</p>
<p>“Were you any good?”</p>
<p>Whether she realizes it or not, Billie Dean sits up a little straighter practically preening before she shoots you a cocky smile.</p>
<p>“I was unbeatable for a while.”</p>
<p>There are so many ways you could respond to this, but you settle on the teasing response that comes to mind first. You secretly just want to know if Billie still plays and if she’s as competitive as you think.</p>
<p>“You mean you’re not anymore?”</p>
<p>Billie sighs at the thought because she hasn’t played competitively in years. She’s been a little busy getting her career off the ground. It had been difficult for many reasons. First of all no one believed that she had this gift of speaking to the dead. She was quickly written off as nuts and proving them wrong took a lot more work than it would have if she’d been a man.</p>
<p>Luckily most of those struggles were behind her, and the worst she had to deal with was people asking her too personal questions because for some reason they felt like they had a right to know.</p>
<p>“It’s been years since I’ve played.”</p>
<p>You laugh before nodding in understanding. You’re going to have to find out more about Billie playing tennis later. For now, you’re going to behave and just let your imagination run wild.</p>
<p>“Did you play any sports?”</p>
<p>You try not to laugh at the fact that yes, you did, and it was not only the most stereotypically lesbian sport, but you also weren’t good at it. You definitely weren’t unbeatable like Billie. You shrug your shoulders before trying not to make 6 years of softball seem like a big deal. It wasn’t really.  The team needed people and then you realized you liked it.</p>
<p>You ironically didn’t realize you were gay until you started crushing on someone on your team, but there was no way you were telling Billie that.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t that good. I just ran fast and occasionally caught things.”</p>
<p>Billie asked what position you’d played and you mentioned that you’d been catcher for a couple of years before you were moved to outfield. It had been a good and bad move. Good because being catcher stressed you out, but bad because your ADHD made it easier to zone out while you were standing in the outfield.</p>
<p>“It was mostly just running. A lot of running.”</p>
<p>Billie smiled at this as she considered what you’d told her recently about your dislike of running, and exercise in general.</p>
<p>“Did you lose your taste for it back then?”</p>
<p>You nod because it’s true. You definitely dislike running, but sometimes it’s the only thing that you can do to destress. Also Milo would never let you stop completely. He liked it too much. You say this and this reminds Billie of something she’s been meaning to ask. You mention your dog a lot and she feels bad that she’s never asked more about him.</p>
<p>“I never asked. Have you had him since he was a puppy?”</p>
<p>Without realizing it, you finish up your drink and sigh at the seemingly simple question. You hadn’t ever mentioned having Milo as a puppy because then you’d have to explain how you got him. Or rather from whom. However, it seemed like you weren’t going to be able to avoid talking about this anymore, so you just decided to be as honest as possible. Just without revealing too much of your baggage.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I actually got him from my ex. Her parents bred German Shepherds, and they said they couldn’t sell Milo because he was too small and sick.”</p>
<p>Billie frowned at the idea of this for a couple of reasons. She decided to focus on Milo for now because she was hopeful she would hear more about your ex later if you ever opened up to her about your past. For now, she wondered how anyone could want to abandon a puppy.</p>
<p>“That’s horrible.”</p>
<p>You just nodded because you remember how horribly your ex had put it when she’d told you. She’d been so nonchalant as if this sort of thing happened all of the time and that it was okay. That wasn’t quite the end of your relationship, but it was very close to it. Things just went downhill from that point.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it was. He had gotten sick and as a result became blind in one eye. They were just going to—well I’m not sure exactly what they would have done with him, but I jumped on the chance to adopt him.”</p>
<p>Billie smiles as you say this because she can tell just by how you talk about him that he’s your whole world. He’s your baby. Like how Mickey’s become hers.</p>
<p>“How long ago was this?”</p>
<p>You spent way too long talking about your dog and how the past two years had been for you. Your meal came while you were telling Billie the story of how Milo had gotten his head stuck in a wall and you two could barely thank Taylor you were so close to crying you were laughing so hard.</p>
<p>“I had left him for maybe an hour to run an errand and I come back to hear him screaming bloody murder.”</p>
<p>It had been terrifying to open the door and immediately hear him screaming in distress. You had honestly thought that he had hurt himself somehow despite how careful you’d been with cleaning your room.</p>
<p>“I thought he was dying I was so freaked out, then I see that he’s literally chewed through the wall into the hallway, but he got stuck in the second layer of drywall.”</p>
<p>Billie was laughing so hard she could barely choke out the only three words that came to mind. “Oh my god.”</p>
<p>You nod before rolling your eyes at the thought of how much damage the puppy had caused. He’d only been 5 months old at the time.</p>
<p>“I know. He broke a tooth and had to get stitches from thrashing. It was a mess.”</p>
<p>Billie’s wiping the tears from her eyes as she shakes her head in disbelief. He sounds like a handful, but she can’t wait to meet him. She says this and you smile before agreeing quickly. You know that Milo will love Billie. He honestly loves most people, but you’ve learned that he is a good judge of character.</p>
<p>You both took a moment to taste your food. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were, and you had to force yourself not to stuff your face. You reach for your drink, only to realize it’s empty before you just grab your water. You’re not sure you want another one yet.</p>
<p>“So you never did tell me what it takes.”</p>
<p>Your attention returns to Billie who is shooting you a questioning look. You don’t realize what she’s talking about, but your frown of confusion prompts Billie to continue.</p>
<p>“You said that your belief in the supernatural depends on certain things. Do you care to elaborate on that?”</p>
<p>Your eyes light up in realization before you smile in response. Since you’d promised Billie that you’d explain this you’d been trying to figure out how to say it in a way that didn’t sound too generic. Sure you believed in the supernatural, but did you believe that contact with spirits was as common as it is portrayed in the media? Not at all.</p>
<p>You take another second to get your thoughts together before you tell Billie what you think. She just listens carefully nodding every now and then as you explain your views based on your limited understanding.</p>
<p>“I definitely believe, but—I don’t know. There are so many different representations of the supernatural that some of it seems farfetched. I guess, I just mean that if you told me that ghosts are around us all of the time, I’d need some proof before I believe you.”</p>
<p>Billie’s expression stayed neutral, but she mentally cursed herself for not wording this question better. She hadn’t anticipated you saying that because now what could she say in response? She didn’t want to tell you what she’d picked up on the first time she’d met you. That would certainly freak you out, and you didn’t want to get too personal too early into…whatever you two were heading towards.</p>
<p>Billie didn’t dwell on this too much fully realizing that she needed to respond to what you said. She wasn’t sure if you sensed her hesitation, but she just decided to default to her flirty nature.</p>
<p>“I’ll have to show you how it’s done sometime then.”</p>
<p>The innuendo is not wasted on you because Billie sees you flush slightly before nodding in agreement. You muttered something under your breath that resembled ‘sounds good’ before taking another bite of food. You may need that second drink after all.</p>
<p>About an hour later, you two had finished up dinner and dessert. Billie had kept her promise and paid before you could even open your mouth to argue. She hadn’t played fair because you’d been distracted and hadn’t noticed Taylor come up to the table with the check. Still, you didn’t get a chance to pout before Billie was shooting you a questioning look. It wasn’t teasing and you were a little surprised by this given what she asked. However, you had already made up your mind just moments after she’d asked you the first time.</p>
<p>“So, do you want to go see the kittens?”</p>
<p>Of course you did. You wanted to make sure that Mickey was okay, and check up on the other kittens as well. You wanted to check on Billie’s cats. That was the only reason why you wanted to go to her house. You had no ulterior motive whatsoever.</p>
<p>“Let’s do it.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Omg this was long. Next time kittens!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alright friends first of all, Merry Christmas! I hope everyone can enjoy the holidays despite the shitstorm we’re in. Now fair warning, there is a lot more angst in this one. There will be cuteness, but it might be wrapped in angst and sadness. So um…happy holidays?  Seriously though, especially around this time of year, if you’re triggered by mentions of loss, skip everything after the ***</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the entire drive to Billie’s house, you were wondering what your problem was. You were truly wanting to see the kittens again, but going to Billie’s was risky. It was risky, but you were doing it anyway. It would be so easy to just give into anything the medium wanted. You already knew that you couldn’t say no to her.</p>
<p>That wasn’t going to bode well for you in the future, but for now all you cared about was that you were going to be with Billie alone. In her house.</p>
<p>You hadn’t been alone with just her before. It was a little intimidating and the fact that it was going to be at her place didn’t help matters. You took a deep breath as you followed the blonde into a secluded and as far as you could tell in the dark, nice neighborhood. You couldn’t be far now, so you only had so much time to gather your courage.</p>
<p>It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be alone with Billie. You did. You enjoyed spending time with her. However, you realize that you’re not ready for anything that Billie’s teased you about. It was just too soon and honestly you didn’t trust that this wasn’t all just an elaborate daydream. You didn’t want to rush things and end up ruining whatever it was you two shared.</p>
<p>A couple of minutes later you arrive to a large house that has a lot of lights on inside. You wonder why this is until you remember the kittens. The pet sitter.</p>
<p>Heather.</p>
<p>She must have just left because there was no car on the street and Billie didn’t seem concerned enough about the cats to rush inside.  She led you into the house and you looked around at the interior for only a few seconds before you hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs. You look up and see Bit running down the stairs with a kitten in her mouth. You can’t tell who it is, but Billie can and she quickly moves to intercept Bit.</p>
<p>“Bit, give him here! Leave him alone.”</p>
<p>You watch as Billie retrieves the kitten that Bit places on the bottom stair before bounding toward you. You let Bit rub up against your legs while Billie picks up Mickey and inspects him carefully. She walks over to you while shooting Bit an annoyed look that she couldn’t care less about.</p>
<p>“She’s gotten in the habit of moving him around and hiding him from me.”</p>
<p>Your eyes widen at this as you look back to Bit who is now trying to use you as a scratching post. You step away because you don’t want her to shred your pants. These were also some of your only clothes that didn’t have cat or dog hair on them, but that clearly wasn’t going to last.</p>
<p>“She does this a lot?”</p>
<p>You ask in your vet voice without thinking and you want to groan in annoyance. However, Billie doesn’t seem to notice or care and just nods with a sigh of defeat. When she gets a little closer you get a better look at Mickey and your heart melts. He’s so cute. He’s curled up in Billie’s hand, half up the sleeve of her blazer as he tried to get warm.</p>
<p>“Whenever he’s not nursing, she’ll walk him by me or Heather and dump him somewhere.”</p>
<p>You reach out to scratch his little head watching as he snuggles into Billie’s hand.</p>
<p>“He’s so cute. Oh my god.”</p>
<p>Billie chuckles before nodding in agreement. He is adorable and she’s fallen for him quickly. She’d already decided that she was going to keep him. She wasn’t sure how she’d make it work, but she wasn’t going to be able to part with him easily. She shrugged as she mentioned this noticing how you perked up a little at the idea.</p>
<p>“Aww good. He clearly loves you already.”</p>
<p>Billie just smiles at this before she looks back toward where Bit has started back up the stairs. She had abandoned you when you wouldn’t give her the attention she wanted, but hopefully she was going back to her kittens.</p>
<p>“Want to check on the rest of them?”</p>
<p>You nod and go to follow the blonde up that stairs, but you hesitate once you realize you hadn’t taken off your shoes. You were still in the foyer and you start to back track when you hear Billie’s voice. You hadn’t realized that you’d hesitated for so long.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it, just follow me.”</p>
<p>You follow the sound of Billie’s heels up the stairs as you look back to the floor you just left. It’s all very clean, not that you’d expect anything given Billie’s meticulous behavior. The last thing you notice before you reach the top of the stairs are the many, many books on a shelf that is tucked against the far wall.</p>
<p>“They’re all in here.”</p>
<p>You turned your attention back to Billie as you follow her into the laundry room. You see Bit sitting in the corner on a bed with all of her kittens, minus Mickey of course. You smile widely before shooting Billie a questioning look to which she simply waves you toward the kittens. You hurry toward where they’re sitting, shooting Bit a look before you’re on your knees in front of them. Screw cat hair.</p>
<p>“How have they been doing?”</p>
<p>You can’t help but ask, and if you had been facing her, you would have seen Billie’s smile. She tells you that they are all doing well. They’re probably only a couple weeks away from being weaned, and that makes Billie excited. This whole kitten thing was stressful and so much more time consuming than she could have anticipated. They seem to be growing so quickly and all of their eyes are opened and all but two have their ears completely open. You mutter something about needing litter soon and Billie’s responding groan makes you laugh.</p>
<p>You stand up after you’ve looked over each of Bit’s non-Mickey kittens. You’re satisfied with how they look and decide that further examination can wait. You turn to see that Mickey is now wrapped in a blanket and Billie is holding him to her chest as she watches you stand up.</p>
<p>“He’s been acting okay?”</p>
<p>Billie nods before admitting that she’d worked from home today so she could keep an eye on him. She’d been so worried and hadn’t wanted to be calling Heather every 15 minutes today. She’d only been over because of your date, but Billie had called her on the way home to check in.</p>
<p>“Heather said he was fine. He was very active. Crawling around and looking for snuggles.”</p>
<p>That makes you smile and you move a little closer so you can get a better look at Mickey. It isn’t until you’re just inches away from him that you notice how close you’re standing to Billie and you blush slightly. You look up at the medium noticing she’s looking at you and not Mickey, and you step back with an apology on the tip of your tongue.</p>
<p>You don’t get a chance to retreat before you feel a hand come up to your cheek. You jump slightly in surprise but don’t say anything as you look up back up to Billie. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until the medium brushes her fingers along your jaw, and you gasp as she lifts your head. She’s smiling, but it’s not the cocky smile you were expecting. She’s just watching you as your eyes dart between her own and her lips before she breathes out a sigh.</p>
<p>You’re so close you can smell the hints of wine and chocolate on her breath. You can’t help but want to-.</p>
<p>“You’re so beautiful, Y/N. I hope you know that.”</p>
<p>This isn’t what you were expecting, but you feel your cheeks heat up at the compliment. You don’t dare look away when her look changes to a questioning one. Billie looks to your slightly parted lips before meeting your gaze again.</p>
<p>You swear that if she doesn’t kiss you soon you might explode.</p>
<p>The little mewl that you hear would have made you embarrassed if it had come from you. You know it wasn’t Billie because of the way that she’s looking at you all calm and confident. It isn’t until you determined that it wasn’t either of you, that you remembered that you weren’t alone. You look away from Billie who was already looking down at the bundle in her arm.</p>
<p>Mickey.</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p>He was still held against Billie and the blonde was shifting him already. She dropped her hand from beneath your chin, and you would never admit how much you missed it, as she moved to put him down for the night. It was nearly 10 after all.</p>
<p>You should get going.</p>
<p>Instead, you watch as Billie takes great care tucking in each of the kittens and making sure they are situated. You love seeing Billie like this so you don’t interrupt as she goes through what must be a nightly routine at this point. When she finishes up, you’re still standing in the spot she’d left you in watching her. She smiles at you before motioning for the door.</p>
<p>“Let’s go back downstairs. Can I get you something to drink?”</p>
<p>You think about refusing and going home because it really is getting late. However, as you watch Billie stop at the doorway and shoot you a questioning look you realize that the last thing you want to do right now is go home. So you just nod and follow the blonde out of the room. Billie turns the light in the laundry room off before leading you back downstairs. She walks slowly enough that you have time to regain your composure and slow your heartrate by the time you reach the kitchen.</p>
<p>You notice the cigarettes and lighter sitting on the counter immediately.</p>
<p>“Any requests?”</p>
<p>You shake your head because you couldn’t care less right now. You weren’t even really thirsty.</p>
<p>“I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”</p>
<p>Billie nods before going to a cupboard and grabbing two glasses and a pitcher of water from the fridge. You don’t think much of it as you take the offered cup with a quiet thank you before draining nearly half of it. You stand at the counter with Billie on the other side and just stand in silence for a moment.</p>
<p>It’s heavy and awkward.</p>
<p>It’s not like anything you’ve felt with Billie and it was making you want to say something. Anything.</p>
<p>“Thank you for dinner.”</p>
<p>Billie clearly hadn’t been expecting you to say this, but she smiles nevertheless as she nods her head.</p>
<p>“Of course, Y/N. I had a wonderful time.”</p>
<p>You smile before you can stop yourself, and you try to hide it by nodding in agreement. You’d had a great time getting to know Billie and opening up a little bit to her as well. You sigh as you glance to the clock on the wall with a frown. <br/>Billie sees where you’re looking and has to stop herself from frowning at what you say next.</p>
<p>“It’s getting late. I should probably go.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t argue and follows you as you make your way back to the foyer. You stop before you reach it and Billie keeps walking until she’s only a couple of feet from you. After a few seconds and a deep breath, you turn back around towards the medium with a nervous look. You’re biting your lip as you search Billie’s expression for any indication of how she’d like this night to end.</p>
<p>Billie’s just watching you with a curious smile that makes you want to sigh in defeat. Why does everything need to be so confusing?</p>
<p>“Or I could stay, for a little bit.”</p>
<p>Billie takes a step toward you closing the distance between the two of you with a shrug. She gets close enough to you that you can smell her perfume again, but not be overwhelmed by it.</p>
<p>“You could.”</p>
<p>She says this as if it is a simple fact, not allowing herself to persuade you one way or the other. That alone is almost enough to make your decision for you.</p>
<p>“Maybe for just a second.”</p>
<p>You take the last step between the two of you and your hands come up to grip her lapels. You stop last minute and simply smooth them down before looking to Billie for permission before meeting her lips with yours.</p>
<p>You had spent a lot of time thinking about what it would feel like to kiss Billie Dean. You had predicted that you’d get lightheaded, your heart would skip a beat, and maybe that you’d feel giddy.</p>
<p>In reality it was all this and more. You felt at home in the blonde’s arms, and you allowed Billie to pull you closer so your hips collided with hers. Your mouth falls open in a gasp and Billie takes this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. The medium’s lips move against yours more insistently and you feel yourself squirm as she brings a hand to your cheek before pulling away.</p>
<p>You pout but don’t get to protest before Billie is moving away to shoot you a relieved look.</p>
<p>“God, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”</p>
<p>You blush a little but can’t help but smile widely at the thought of Billie wanting to kiss you as much as you want to kiss her. You consider leaning in to do just that in response when Billie’s voice breaks through your lust.</p>
<p>“We don’t have to go any further than this though. Not if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>Your gaze drops to the floor as you worry about how transparent you’d been. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You honestly have imagined it an embarrassing number of times. You just weren’t ready. Billie seemed to realize this and luckily she didn’t fault you for it.</p>
<p>She simply smiled before she’s lifting your head again to meet her gaze.</p>
<p>“I need you to tell me what you want, sweetheart. I don’t want to pressure you.”</p>
<p>You blush heavily at the pet name, the proximity and just what Billie Dean is saying. You manage to nod though before you clear your throat and take a small step back. The distance helps you think a little better, and hopefully Billie doesn’t take it the wrong way.</p>
<p>“I-thank you. I do want to go further, eventually, but I’m not quite ready.”</p>
<p>The medium just smiles kindly before nodding in response. She reaches out to play with your hair before stopping short with another nod. She’s trying not to get too carried away and has to keep herself from reaching out to touch you.</p>
<p>“That’s perfectly fine. I can be patient.”</p>
<p>You smile appreciatively before you decide to close the distance and kiss Billie again. This time your hand finds its way to the hair you’ve been fantasizing about for weeks. It was even softer than you thought it would be, and you groan before pulling away far too soon for your liking. You know that if you don’t leave now, you won’t be able to stick to your word.</p>
<p>Watching Billie pout slightly as you move away from her doesn’t help your resolve any.</p>
<p>You smile before taking another step back toward the door.</p>
<p>“I should probably go. If I want to keep my word, I should leave.”</p>
<p>Billie must be struggling a little too because she merely nods and walks you to the door. You are reaching out to open the front door when you feel a hand on your arm. You turn holding your breath in anticipation to see Billie merely smiling at you.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Y/N.”</p>
<p>You smile, still slightly tense before you nod quickly. You want to say more, you’d like to do more, but you don’t.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Billie.”</p>
<p>You leave before you can do anything else and Billie just watches you go.</p>
<p>The trip home is long and tense for you despite only living about 20 minutes away. You dig into your purse for your keys and upon opening the door are immediately greeted by a furry face.</p>
<p>“Hi, Milo.”</p>
<p>You scratch him behind his ears before running inside to change your clothes so you can take him out. You’re glad to get out of them because you feel like you’re suffocating from being so covered up. You’re sweating and you curse under your breath as you throw something on before running back downstairs. Your hair’s a mess, but you don’t pay it much attention as you tell Milo to go get his leash. As the shepherd darts away, you pull your phone out of your pocket when it vibrates.</p>
<p>
  <em>Make it home okay? </em>
</p>
<p>You smile at Billie’s continued thoughtfulness before typing out a quick response. You’re startled out of your daydreaming by a sudden bark and you hush Milo before putting on his leash and heading out.</p>
<p>It’s cooler than it was earlier today and for some reason you put on an outfit that leaves you freezing. You curse as you follow Milo’s lead to the nearest tree. You’re too distracted by the cold to notice at first, but there are more people outside than you’d expect for nearly 11 at night.</p>
<p>You don’t pay it much mind before you head down the street to take Milo on a little longer walk. You’re only waking for a few minutes before you start to feel like someone’s watching you. You walk in a circle, confusing Milo, but it lets you spot a couple that’s just walking to their car. You watch them leave before shaking your head at your own paranoia.</p>
<p>By the time you make it back inside, you’re exhausted and only want to shower and go to sleep. You leave Milo with a treat before jumping into the shower. You’re too exhausted to spend too much time in there, so you’re out and in bed in less than 10 minutes.</p>
<p>Running your hand through your damp hair you reach for your phone to check your emails and text messages. You ignore the work-related ones because it’s late, but you notice that one of your friends from vet school has texted you. You don’t text her back because it’s 3 am there, although knowing her she’s probably up, and decide to respond tomorrow.</p>
<p>You don’t have a lot of friends from school that you still keep in touch with. The last month before graduation had been crazy. You’d been trying to lock down your job here and figure out how to move your entire life across the country. Then your dad had died and that had made everything else in your life grind to a halt.</p>
<p>He’d been the most important part of your support system since your mom had died when you were 10. Your sisters had moved out at that point and it was just you living at home with him while going to school. You lived so close it just made sense, so you’d spend a lot of your time with him. Most of it was just studying, but it was still nice to be around him.</p>
<p>When you started dating your ex, he had been supportive despite not really liking her. Which of course you didn’t find out until after the fact.  </p>
<p> He’d listen to you complain about her and he encouraged you to adopt Milo. He had been your whole world and losing him so suddenly had been like nothing else you’d ever experienced.</p>
<p>Honestly, you were still experiencing the aftermath of his death.</p>
<p>Already two months later, but it seemed like yesterday when you’d found him…</p>
<p>You shake your head in an attempt to free yourself from these morbid thoughts.</p>
<p>How did you go from the high of being on a date and then kissing Billie Dean Howard to thinking about losing your dad?</p>
<p>Then it occurs to you that Father’s Day is Sunday.</p>
<p>You don’t notice Milo push open the door to your room before jumping on the foot of your bed. Usually, you make him sleep on the floor, but you were too caught up in your thoughts to care at the moment. You sigh at the realization that this weekend is going to be awful before you get under the covers and try to think about something else.</p>
<p>You only partially succeed and by the time you fall asleep Milo is lying right next to you, but you don’t feel any better.</p>
<p>Billie’s on her 5<sup>th</sup> cigarette since you’d left her house only an hour and a half ago. She can’t sleep despite being exhausted because she can’t think of anything other than you. She knew that you both had made the right decision, especially if you weren’t ready, but damn it if Billie didn’t wish you had been.</p>
<p>She’d been attracted to you the moment she met you. You’d been confident, personable and very cute in your white coat. It wasn’t until you both had lunch that Billie had an opportunity to get to know you better. She’d learned what you liked and what was important to you. She’d seen how often you blush and despite being a little shy, she can tell that you’re hiding a lot of your confidence.</p>
<p>Billie had seen glimpses of it when Y/N had been comfortable enough to flirt with her or instigate things. Like tonight.</p>
<p>She was excited to see more of this side of you.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to happen tonight and Billie just needed to deal with it. She took one last drag of her cigarette before putting it out and heading upstairs. She checked on the kittens and Bit, all of them at least laying down before heading to her room.</p>
<p>She knew she needed to go to sleep. She had a lot to do tomorrow, but here it was almost 1 in the morning with sleep nowhere in sight. She was tense despite smoking like a chimney for two hours. She just couldn’t stop thinking about you.</p>
<p>Billie takes a quick shower, cold shower before crawling into bed. She stares at the ceiling for 20 minutes before finally giving in. She gets out of bed and goes downstairs for a drink and another cigarette.</p>
<p>It was going to be a long night.</p>
<p>You wake up sweaty and uncomfortable the next morning. It isn’t until you push Milo off of your chest that you feel a little better. You sigh as he hops off the bed and runs around in circles waiting for you to get up.</p>
<p>It’s only 7 in the morning and you don’t work today. You had intended to sleep in, but apparently that wasn’t happening. Milo had started to yip from where he was sitting by the door waiting for you, so you admit defeat and roll out of bed. You tell Milo to wait as you run into the bathroom to make yourself presentable. A few minutes later you’re dressed and grabbing your coat by the front door as you attach Milo’s leash.</p>
<p>“Come on, buddy.”</p>
<p>You get down the stairs before you realize that you forgot your phone, but soon that’s the least of your concerns.</p>
<p>Milo is peeing on a tree when you hear a car door slam. You jump slightly because you’re still half awake, but otherwise you ignore it while you wait for Milo to finish up.</p>
<p>It isn’t until you hear someone call your name, someone you don’t recognize that you turn. You tense in confusion and panic as you see the cameras and you take a step back as a reflex.</p>
<p>“Ms. Y/L/N!”</p>
<p>“Is it true you’re in a relationship with Billie Dean Howard?”</p>
<p>You stop in your tracks at the question because despite it making sense, it catches you off guard. This clearly shows and the trio just stand in front of you, occasionally blinding you with the flash of a camera before you gather your senses.</p>
<p>“Who? Wait, what?”</p>
<p>You nearly kick yourself for that answer because seriously? How dumb are you?</p>
<p>You get really flustered at the idea of sounding like a total idiot and you turn to see Milo is eying the trio warily. One of them snaps another picture and the flash blinds Milo who shakes his head furiously as he backs away.</p>
<p>“Hey, knock it off! You’re blinding him.” <br/>“How did you meet Billie Dean?”</p>
<p>You’re too annoyed to answer and you just lead Milo away from them as fast as you can. You’re wondering how the hell they figured out who you were so quickly. As you nearly run back inside with Milo you figure that someone must have followed you home last night. The thought makes you extremely uncomfortable which means that you’re a little ruder than you should be when you throw a ‘no comment’ over your shoulder.</p>
<p>Once you’re back in your apartment, you fall back against the door with a sigh of relief. You look to Milo who is sitting at your feet whining for food, the incident probably forgotten. You wish you could do that, but as you hurry to feed Milo, you wonder how the hell you’ll be able to leave without them following you.</p>
<p>Billie had barely finished a meeting with her producer when Michelle was running toward her. She looked frazzled and the medium was already having flashbacks of Wednesday. She held her breath hoping that it wasn’t the kittens before she shot the other blonde a nervous look.</p>
<p>“Do I want to know?”</p>
<p>Michelle hesitates for a second before she decides that this is important and Billie definitely wants to know. She had been surprised by what she’d seen. She made a habit of monitoring social media for Billie, she had someone who did it for her, but they clearly had taken the night off.</p>
<p>“Billie, I think you’ll want to see this.”</p>
<p>The medium frowns in confusion as Michelle passes her the tablet in her arms. There’s a website barely more reputable than TMZ open and a story that already has a million views splashed across the screen.</p>
<p>
  <em>Medium Billie Dean Howard Seen on Second Date with Mystery Woman. </em>
</p>
<p>Oh god.</p>
<p>Billie looks to the pictures first and isn’t surprised to see that both times they’d gone out had been captured. She groans under her breath as she quickly reads the article that says nothing substantial. It’s all speculation and they don’t even mention Y/N by name. Billie makes a note to call you as soon as possible to prepare you for what you might face.</p>
<p>“That’s not…horrible.”</p>
<p>Billie Dean watches as Michelle cringes before she takes the tablet back from her to go to something else.</p>
<p>“That’s only the first story. There’s another one that came out this morning.”</p>
<p>Billie doesn’t have a chance to react before Michelle’s handing her a video from this morning. She watches it a couple of times before reading the blurb written underneath it. It’s not complimentary and she has to stop herself from cursing them before she returns the tablet.</p>
<p>“Is there anything else?”</p>
<p>Michelle shakes her head before stepping back so Billie can stand up. She needs to call Y/N now to apologize and talk about what to do next. She feels bad that you were ambushed and clearly not prepared to answer any questions.</p>
<p>“What would you like me to do?”</p>
<p>Billie Dean shakes her head as she grabs her phone. She doesn’t have a plan yet and that won’t change until she talks to you. She has a feeling you won’t stay anonymous for much longer. She says something to this effect and Michelle just nods before leaving to give Billie some privacy.</p>
<p>You’re debating on whether or not to take Milo on another walk when Billie calls you. You’d fed him almost an hour ago and it was time to go back outside, but you didn’t want to. The last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself, or god forbid Billie, again with your flustered ramblings. You had peeked outside from your window and seen that there were actually more cameras out there. They’d also caught the attention of your neighbors and now you really didn’t want to go outside.</p>
<p>You hear your phone vibrating from across the room and you hurry to go answer it. You’re relieved when you see that it’s Billie, and you answer quickly.</p>
<p>“Hey, Billie.”</p>
<p> Billie immediately notices how stressed you sound and she feels even worse for not having this conversation with you sooner.</p>
<p>“Hi, Y/N. I’m so sorry about this morning.”</p>
<p>You start walking around the room, too antsy to stand still as you shake your head. You nearly trip over Milo as you round the corner and see him just lying-in wait.</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize.”</p>
<p>You eventually lie down on the couch to try and stop yourself from getting worked up. You don’t need to stress about this, do you? This doesn’t change anything for you. Not really. Sure it’s annoying to have people pestering you, but there has to be a way around that somehow. Billie is sure to know.</p>
<p> You hear her sigh before there’s some rustling in the background that you can’t place.</p>
<p>“I should have considered the possibility of people finding out once we went on a date. I should have mentioned it. I was just, a little distracted.”</p>
<p>You laugh before nodding in agreement. You hadn’t even really considered that this would be an issue. You never would have dreamed that people would give a damn about who you were. You figured they didn’t. They mostly wanted to know about Billie.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. I was too. I didn’t even think about it when I went outside this morning, but I thought someone was following me last night. I guess I was right. “</p>
<p>You shrug as you say this, not noticing the silence on the other end as Billie considered your options. There were a couple of things that you could do. Before she thought too much into what she wanted to do, Billie wanted to check in with you since all of this was probably new to you. Billie knew from experience that the confusion and possible thrill of being the center of attention was transient. It would soon become annoying, and she didn’t want you to find this out the hard way.</p>
<p>“What do you want to do, Y/N?”</p>
<p>You’re a little distracted looking at Milo who is trying to jump onto the couch next to you when Billie says this. You frown when you realize you’ve missed something before you sit up a little, giving Milo the perfect opportunity to jump up and cover you in black fur.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>You wait in suspense as Billie lights a cigarette and takes a drag with a sigh.</p>
<p>“Well we can try to lie and deny that anything is going on between us, or we can just tell them. We can also say nothing, continue to go out and keep them guessing.”</p>
<p>You laugh at the last option and can’t help but want to do that. You’re not big on talking about your personal life which definitely includes making announcements about your relationships. You have already decided what you want to do, but you don’t want to be the only one making this decision.</p>
<p>“I don’t have a problem with keeping things quiet, but what did you have in mind?”</p>
<p>Billie smiled at your response. She was glad that you both seemed to be on the same page. She takes another drag before saying her piece.</p>
<p>“I don’t either. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into.”</p>
<p>For some reason, these words didn’t sound like a threat to you. Your mind quickly went to last night and just how much you could have gotten yourself into. You felt your face flush slightly and you coughed to clear your throat before you sat up a little straighter. You don’t realize how far your mind has ventured into the gutter until Billie’s voice interrupts your train of thought.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean that in a sexual way, sweetheart.”</p>
<p>You knew she didn’t, but your mind just had to go there. You’d been fairly frustrated since you woke up this morning. Not only had Milo tried to suffocate you in your sleep, but your dream had served as a reminder of what could have happened if you’d stayed at Billie’s last night.</p>
<p>“Right, I know.”</p>
<p>You cough again. Damn when did your throat get so dry?</p>
<p>“I appreciate it, but other than losing all rights to my privacy, what am I getting myself into?”</p>
<p>Billie hadn’t expected you to say this, so she hesitates before merely shrugging.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that enough?”</p>
<p>You both talk a little while longer about the potential of being harassed and how to respond to it. You both agreed that you probably shouldn’t play dumb because you’d demonstrated this morning that this isn’t convincing. Instead you agreed to just ignore them and only speak to them if you needed to remind them of their place. Like this morning.</p>
<p>“If someone does follow you home again, try and get their name and where they work. It’s against the law for them to do that.”</p>
<p>You just nod as you take notes, literally because there is a lot more to this than you originally thought. You now know that the paparazzi can’t trespass on private property (aka your apartment complex), can’t peek into it with their annoying cameras, or following you around in their cars.</p>
<p>You forget that you hadn’t walked Milo again until he whines and paws at your leg. It’s loud enough for Billie to hear him and you sigh when you realize you have to go back outside. That’s not going to be fun.</p>
<p>“I should probably go walk Milo again. Maybe I’ll test this theory of them not being allowed to follow me.”</p>
<p>Billie nods before she looks to the clock. She’s missed her meeting, but that can’t be helped at this point. She did need to return to work though.</p>
<p>“Just be careful, Y/N.”</p>
<p>You smile at her concern before nodding to yourself more than to Billie.</p>
<p>“I will. Thanks for the warning.”</p>
<p>You’re about to hang up when Billie’s voice comes through the phone again. It’s a little quieter than before and you are suddenly on high alert.</p>
<p>“Oh and, Y/N?”</p>
<p>You stop halfway off the couch pausing as you ask nervously.</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>Billie’s smiling as she puts out her cigarette with a sigh. “You looked cute earlier.”</p>
<p>You roll your eyes at this as you stand all the way up and make your way back upstairs. You were definitely going to change into to something that wasn’t your sleepwear.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Billie.”</p>
<p>The rest of your day goes pretty well. You’d decided to spend most of the day away from home so that no one could bother you. Or at least that was the plan.</p>
<p>You’d taken Milo on another walk on the trails he liked so much, and hadn’t been noticed, or at least stopped by anyone. After that you’d spent the next few hours bouncing around to different dog-friendly restaurants around the city.</p>
<p>You’d mostly just checked emails and done some other things for work for the first couple hours. Then you ended up at a bar with Milo at the wrong time. Honestly, hadn’t today been tough enough? Why did you have to go and pick the exact place that your least favorite person in LA was?</p>
<p>“Dr. Y/L/N.”</p>
<p>You don’t turn immediately because you’re hoping that you are just imagining things. However, once Milo turns and his tail starts wagging at a familiar face, you have no choice but to acknowledge her.</p>
<p>Claire.</p>
<p>Damn it.</p>
<p>“Claire. Hi, how are you?”</p>
<p>Why did you have to ask that? Damn your southern tendencies.</p>
<p>The blonde smiles as she sits down in the empty seat across from you. You sit up a little so you don’t get in her way as she shrugs her shoulders before pointing in some vague direction.</p>
<p>“I’m just here with some friends, but I saw better company.”</p>
<p>You have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the blatant line. Luckily Milo catches your attention when he starts scratching and you smile before gesturing to him.</p>
<p>“Milo will be glad to hear that you think he’s good company.”</p>
<p>Claire’s smile contorts with her confusion before she seems to realize that you’re joking. You sigh as you take another sip of your water instead of the tequila in front of you. You have a feeling you’ll be leaving sooner rather than later. Especially if this goes in the direction that you think it is. That it has each and every time you see the blonde.</p>
<p>“You know I thought you were lying.”</p>
<p>You look back up at Claire to see that she’s smiling, and the way she’s looking at you makes you want to squirm. She’s amused and she looks almost impressed, so it doesn’t take much to figure out what she’s talking about. Still, you don’t want to have this conversation with her, or anyone but Billie, so you buy your time by playing dumb.</p>
<p>“Lying about what?”</p>
<p>It works about as well as it had this morning.</p>
<p>Claire laughs as she reaches down to pet Milo who is sitting between them. He looks up at the hand on his head and starts panting happily as Claire continues to scratch behind his ears.</p>
<p>“Having a girlfriend. I just thought you were shy.”</p>
<p>You’re not sure what to say in response. You hadn’t actually been with anyone when you’d told her this, and even if you had been—you hadn’t rejected her because you were shy. You just weren’t interested, but unfortunately the brunette was just dense as a brick.</p>
<p>You open your mouth to tell her this, at least the first part but she interrupts you.</p>
<p>“I was ac--.”</p>
<p>“I never would have dreamt that you were talking about Billie Dean Howard.”</p>
<p>You’re saved from having to make up a lie when your waiter comes by your table. When he asks if you need anything else, you shake your head, but then Claire speaks. You shoot her a look before turning back to the waiter before he can leave.</p>
<p>“I’ll have a shot of tequila.”</p>
<p>“And could you bring the check when you get a chance? Thanks.”</p>
<p>He nods before leaving the two of them alone. You give your tequila a second glance as you reconsider downing it. You’re saved from making that choice when Claire reaches out for it. You’re grateful in hindsight for the opening, but annoyed as hell at her rudeness.</p>
<p>“Are you going to finish this?”</p>
<p>You shake your head and watch as she throws it back like an alcoholic with wide eyes.  “Go for it. I need to leave soon anyway.”</p>
<p>You recall the text message you’d gotten from your friend about an hour ago. You were planning on responding later tonight, but you’d respond right now if it meant you could get out of this situation.</p>
<p>Claire pouts as she puts down your glass and shoots you a suspicious look. “Really? You have plans with the psychic?”</p>
<p>You correct her before you can stop yourself and you actually flinch which of course she notices.</p>
<p>“Medium. “</p>
<p>Claire is smiling victoriously and opens her mouth to say something that you certainly won’t like before you practically shout.</p>
<p>“And no. I don’t have plans with her.”</p>
<p>Eddie comes back with the check and Claire’s tequila and you quickly hand him enough cash to cover both the bill and a tip.</p>
<p>“Keep the change, and Claire, enjoy the drink.”</p>
<p>You untie Milo’s leash and stand up to leave. You know you’re being a little rude, but the way you see it she was rude first. You also don’t want to delve deeper into any questions she has about your relationship.</p>
<p>You and Milo leave the restaurant and make it to your car without incident. You are amazed by how paranoid you already are just after one unfortunate confrontation. Hopefully Billie is right and they’ll get bored when they realize you’re not giving them anything useful.</p>
<p>You arrive back to your apartment and your phone buzzes in your pocket. You lock the door behind you before pulling it out and realizing that it’s your friend again.</p>
<p>
  <em>Two unread messages </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Is this you??! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Okay, fine don’t answer. I was just wondering how you have been in LA for like a MONTH and are already dating a celebrity!?!</em>
</p>
<p>You decided that you’ve made your friend wait long enough, so you run upstairs to call her.</p>
<p>
  <em>Are you free? </em>
</p>
<p>It not 10 seconds later when your phone starts to ring. Of course it’s her.</p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p>“Hey?! That’s all I get? What about my questions?”</p>
<p>You laugh as you shake your head and move to close the door. You stop last minute when you realize that Milo didn’t follow you up and just go to lie on your bed with a sigh.</p>
<p>“Which one do you want me to answer first?”</p>
<p>The next couple of days are as busy as always. Working the weekend is your least favorite part of this job. Not only does it seem to drag on with random emergencies, but you are the only one working on Sunday. This means that when you’re slightly off your game and a little behind, there is no one to pick up the slack.  </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>You had woken up in a fairly predictable mood and now you were struggling to stay focused. You’d already had a random crying fit before breakfast when you had been reminded of your dad.</p>
<p>Things started to go downhill with the first appointment after lunch. A cat came in for excessive drinking and urination, classic signs of diabetes. Diagnosis and treatment were simple enough. That’s not what stumped you, or rather sent you spiraling. </p>
<p>Your dad had died from diabetes. He’d had it since you were a teen, and he had refused to take insulin or any other medication. He ate and lived the way he wanted to and it had cost him. He’d died from a stroke most likely, and despite the fact that there was nothing you could have done differently to save him, you think otherwise almost daily. </p>
<p>Despite your concentration being shot, you manage to make it through the rest of the day. Luckily you close earlier on Sunday than on any other day, and you’re out of the building by 5:15. You have records to complete but you’re worthless right now and won’t get anything done. You fear you didn’t hide you distress well because your tech Mina shoots you a worried look as she assures you that she’ll lock up. If you were in your right mind, you’d shoot her a smile, fake or not. Instead, you just nod and practically run outside with Milo.</p>
<p>You get home in record time too. You drive like a bat out of hell and practically jump out of the car once you arrive. You almost forget Milo but you turn back after a couple of steps and you both hurry inside. He runs inside and jumps on the couch while you stand with your back against the door. The stress of today is starting to catch up with you, and you feel like you’re suffocating under the weight of holding everything in. You take a deep, shuddering breath that comes out as a broken sob. You don’t know how long you stay crying against the door, but eventually you sink to the floor as you continue to sob.</p>
<p>This shouldn’t happen.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t still be at this stage of grief. It had been over two months and you’d cried more times than you can count. At first it was just whenever you thought about him which had been all the time, but after about a month of that it became more random. Random triggers like today would make you cry a little and then move on. </p>
<p>Today; however, was completely different because it was Father’s Day.</p>
<p>A day that you would have spent with him doing all of his favorite things, namely watching family feud and eating brunch, was now spent working and thinking about him constantly. You thought about the last time that you’d seen him alive and well. You couldn’t explain it, but for some reason you were terrified that you’d forget what he sounded like. You had actually called his cell phone once, you hadn’t gotten around to cancelling it, and listened to his voicemail message an embarrassing number of times just so you could hear him.</p>
<p>Now, due to a reminder about what had taken him from you, you find yourself unable to think about anything else. You hate yourself for it, and you know that he’d hate it to. He wouldn’t want this. He would honestly tell you to buck up before making a joke of some sort. Probably of the dad variety.</p>
<p>Still, this doesn’t stop you from crying miserably on the floor. You rip off your jacket and throw it down beside you. After wiping your eyes angrily, you trying to think about something else. You take a deep breath before closing your eyes.</p>
<p>You eventually manage to grab your phone out of your pocket and just toss it on the ground. It had been digging into your side and you didn’t even bother checking it. You’d already seen the texts from your sisters and a couple of your vet school friends that you were closest too.</p>
<p>You weren’t going to text them back any time soon. You just couldn’t put on a brave face and say whatever reassuring words they needed to hear. You had been hiding behind them and pushing down your feelings for too long, and you had reached your limit.</p>
<p>You’re too busy recounting the events of that horrible night two months ago to hear Milo whine from beside you. You decide to get up and head to sleep because you can’t keep thinking about this. You look to the kitchen but shake your head since you’d lost your appetite long before lunch. Milo follows you, not that you notice and you practically collapse on your bed before you roll over onto your back to stare at the ceiling.</p>
<p>The last thing you think about before falling asleep is the sound of the sirens and the flashing lights of the police cars that crowded the street in front of your house.</p>
<p>Billie Dean was a little worried.</p>
<p>It was Monday and she hadn’t heard from you since she called you on Friday.</p>
<p>She knew that you had been working Saturday and Sunday, but she was fairly certain that you had the day off today. Not only that, but even when they both had been extremely busy at work, they’d managed to at least text each other at the end of the day. This hadn’t happened either night that Billie had texted you. In fact, she had almost half a dozen texts and a couple calls that you hadn’t returned. </p>
<p>It wasn’t until about 3 pm that Billie remembered what yesterday had been.</p>
<p>Father’s Day.</p>
<p>It wasn’t even on her radar since her dad had died a number of years ago. She would have no reason to remember it except for the fact that she knew your dad had died. Fairly recently too.</p>
<p>You hadn’t mentioned anything to her, and Billie hadn’t asked. She hadn’t wanted to pry so early in a relationship. She also didn’t want to explain how she knew something that she doubted you told many people.</p>
<p>It was one time when she wished that she didn’t have her gift.</p>
<p>When you had first walked into the exam room the day she’d brought Bit in, you hadn’t been alone. You had been accompanied by a man, that she now knew was your father. He looked like he was in his mid-60s, with graying hair and a friendly smile.</p>
<p>Billie had struggled to listen to you at first because she’d been so preoccupied by this man that neither you nor your assistant saw. She hadn’t been able to talk to him, but the fact that he stuck to you so closely was very telling.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until their first date at the café, that Billie saw Y/N’s father again. He had been standing behind her for most of their date. He hadn’t said much. He mostly just stood next to Y/N, smiling at her and looking the part of a supportive, loving father as Y/N talked about her job.</p>
<p>Billie had been tempted to ask about him, or at least your family. However, your reaction to her mentioning passed loved ones had been so bad that she hadn’t wanted to risk it.  Now she was worried that she should have at least checked in and made sure you were okay.</p>
<p>Billie sent one more text, slightly more assertive this time before she decided to check in another way.</p>
<p>If you didn’t respond within the hour, she was going to check on you. She opened her computer to Google you again, but this time you had a few new hits thanks to those paparazzi that were practically stalking you. Billie looks to the first story to find the name of the apartment complex that you live in.</p>
<p>It’s a 30-minute drive from the studio. She’ll leave in thirty even if you did respond. Your out of character behavior was too much to overlook, especially given the holiday yesterday. Billie sighed as she looked to the clock and lit another cigarette to help pass the time.</p>
<p>She only lasted five minutes before she was leaving work and on her way to you.</p>
<p>Today had been a blur for you. You woke up at nearly 3 in the morning to Milo pawing you, and after walking him you laid in bed for a few hours. You hadn’t been able to fall asleep, you’d mostly been thinking and worrying and crying. You hadn’t eaten in a while, but you hardly noticed as your mind continued to run rampant.</p>
<p>When your dad had died, the worst thing for you had been realizing that you were going to live the rest of your life without seeing him again. There were pictures of course, only a few because your dad hadn’t taken many pictures, but it wasn’t the same. You would never see him in the kitchen, or in his office playing solitaire instead of actually working. Most of all, you would never be able to come home and tell him about your day.</p>
<p>You were just starting to cry again when you heard Milo barking from downstairs. You honestly hadn’t heard anyone knock, but you fully intended to ignore them. You weren’t in the mood to see anyone, and you hadn’t showered in two days. You were looking a little rough.</p>
<p>Milo barked again when there was another, louder series of knocks on the door. You rolled over onto your back with a groan before you forced yourself out of bed. You didn’t bother with anything, your hair was a mess and your clothes were wrinkled, but you didn’t care. You were just going to confirm that this was someone you didn’t want to talk to before going back to bed.</p>
<p>Billie had managed to figure out which apartment was yours and now she was knocking so loudly the entire floor could probably hear it. She’d made it here in 20 minutes and she had been knocking for almost 5. In between banging on your door she was calling you, but she could tell from the vibrating coming from behind the door that you probably didn’t have your phone on you.</p>
<p>There was; however, Milo who stood on the other side of the door barking at her. She hadn’t wanted to meet the dog like this, but it seemed like she didn’t have a choice. She raised her fist to knock once again, but the door opened before she got a chance.</p>
<p>“Billie? What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>You’re stunned to see the medium standing in your doorway dressed up in what you assume must be her work clothes. You didn’t check to see what time it was, but you didn’t think it was the end of the day yet. It was still sunny outside and Milo hadn’t bugged you for food yet.</p>
<p>Billie stood silently taking in the sight in front of her. You looked worse than she’d expected. The clothes you were wearing were wrinkled and dirty, your hair was a mess and your eyes were red from crying. She looks to the floor and confirms that your phone is lying abandoned before her attention turns back to you.</p>
<p>“I was worried, Y/N. You haven’t responded to any of my texts or calls.”</p>
<p>You frown suddenly feeling even worse as you manage to shake your head before taking a step back. You move to grab Milo who is already headed toward Billie. You’re too distracted to tell if it was in a threatening way, but you grab onto his collar regardless as you open the door a little wider so Billie can get out of the hallway.</p>
<p>“Milo, stop. Sorry, come on in.”</p>
<p>Billie looks to Milo first who is eyeing her curiously. She sees his one pale eye and then looks to his wagging tail before deeming it safe to move toward him. She shuts the door behind her and looks back to you with a frown. Seeing you look so unbalanced definitely doesn’t make her feel any less worried.</p>
<p>“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>This question makes you falter and the pitiful façade you’d conjured up shatter. Your shoulders dropped and you sighed heavily before you shook your head. You looked to Billie with tears in your eyes despite having cried all damn day, and opened your mouth to try to explain. All you managed were three words that you doubted she’d understand.</p>
<p>“I miss him.”</p>
<p>Billie doesn’t say anything, she just holds out her arms and you immediately fall into them. You release Milo who comes up to sniff Billie, but neither of you notice as the medium engulfs you in hug. You start to cry harder at the feeling of arms tightening around you, holding you close before you register what Billie’s saying.</p>
<p>“I know. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Her words make you hold her tighter, as close as possible before you just let it all out. You’ll be embarrassed later, but for now you feel safe with Billie. You can’t be alone anymore. You’re not sure how long you stand there crying your eyes out with Billie’s arms wrapped around you, but by the time you regain some of your composure, it feels like it’s been hours.</p>
<p>You don’t notice as Milo circles the two of you before sitting down behind you. He paws at you but you ignore him as you force yourself to pull away from the medium with a with an apologetic look.</p>
<p>“Oh jeez. I’m sorry, I think I—your shirt is…”</p>
<p>You trail off as you Billie doesn’t even bother to look at her ruined shirt. She couldn’t care less at the moment because her only concern was you.</p>
<p>Billie waves you off as you take another step back and almost run into Milo.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Unlike you. </em>
</p>
<p>Billie doesn’t say this because she can tell that you are feeling embarrassed about your breakdown. She didn’t want that, but what’s worse is that she had a feeling it wasn’t over. She had no idea what she’d walked into, but she didn’t want to leave. Not until she knew you were feeling at least a little better.</p>
<p>You just stare at Billie anxiously. You hadn’t counted on her seeing you like this, really ever, if you had a say in it. However, now that you’ve thoroughly embarrassed yourself you somehow felt even worse than you had before Billie got here.</p>
<p>You try to distract from the elephant in the room by jumping into host-mode.</p>
<p>“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t—do you want something to drink?”</p>
<p>Billie shakes her head before she looks around a little until she sees the kitchen. She can’t be sure, but if she had to guess you hadn’t gotten around to eating today. The only time you probably got out of bed was to take Milo outside.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Y/N. What about you? Have you eaten today?”</p>
<p>You open your mouth to confirm that you had, but you hesitate. You guess it’s mid-day and you’d spent most of your day lying around. You hadn’t gone to the kitchen except once and that was to feed Milo.</p>
<p>“Um…”</p>
<p>Your lack of an answer is enough for Billie and she decided to take charge. She figured that in order to get you to do anything in this state, she’d need to be a little more assertive. She just hoped her instincts were right and that you wouldn’t respond poorly to her trying to take care of you.</p>
<p>“That’s what I thought. How about I make you something.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t phrased as a question and Billie was already headed toward the kitchen before you gathered your senses. You turned to follow her, watching as she quickly took off her jacket and hung it on a nearby chair. She looked around to see what she had to work with while you scramble for an excuse to stop Billie. You should have known it was a waste of time.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to. It’s okay, really!”</p>
<p>Billie turns back to you with that damn smile that you couldn’t say no to, and you realize you’ve already lost. Milo just wags his tail as he followed the blonde into the kitchen to see what she’s doing. You groan as Billie takes this as a win and shoots you a smile.</p>
<p>“I want to. Just relax, sweetheart. Milo and I have this handled.”</p>
<p>Billie reaches out to pet your traitorous dog who only pants happily in response, his tail wagging even faster now. You sigh as she you sit down at the counter to watch her cook. You fidget slightly as you follow her movements as she navigates your kitchen. You know there’s not much in the fridge since you neglected to go shopping yesterday, and the day before. You run a hand through your hair with a frown, but stop short when you realize how dirty it is.</p>
<p>When was the last time you showered?</p>
<p>You look back to Billie who has grabbed a few items from the fridge and placed them on the counter. You slip out of your chair before finally looking to the clock on the oven.</p>
<p>It’s 4 pm.</p>
<p>“Um, I think I’ll just shower really quickly.”</p>
<p>Billie looks up with a smile before nodding in response. Milo’s tail starts wagging harder with each item she picks up, but she doesn’t pay him much mind until you leave.</p>
<p>“We’ll be here.”</p>
<p> Billie watches you retreat upstairs and waits for a door to shut before she sighs heavily. She gets to work making what you once told her was your favorite comfort food before she turns her attention to Milo. He’s just sitting on the rug in front of the dishwasher watching her intently. He seems well behaved and Billie briefly wonders what tricks he knows.</p>
<p>“What are we going to do about Y/N, hm?”</p>
<p>Milo just continues to stare while Billie lets her mind wander to the brunette upstairs.</p>
<p>She hadn’t planned on telling you like this. Billie had wanted you to tell her about your father in your own time. She feared the consequence of rushing things and telling you the truth now, but what could she do? She knew it would come up and she wasn’t going to lie.</p>
<p>She just hoped that you wouldn’t be angry, and that you could handle the truth.</p>
<p>You are out of the shower in ten minutes because the thought of Billie Dean downstairs makes you antsy. You find comfy clothes to change into before you head downstairs. It smells great and as you reach the kitchen you realize what Billie had made you.</p>
<p>You feel yourself smile for what was probably the first time today at the sight.</p>
<p>“Wow, this looks great. I’m starving.”</p>
<p>Billie just smiles before she hands you a plate which immediately has Milo running to your side. You sigh before you shoot him a look that he doesn’t even acknowledge as he starts to whine at you.</p>
<p>“Milo, stop it. You’ll get yours later.”</p>
<p>When he whines again you point to his bed and tell him to go lie down. He does but he just stares at you with puppy dog eyes that make you roll your eyes.</p>
<p>“He’s so precious.”</p>
<p>You smile before you shake your head in disagreement. He can be a little much at times. You say this to Billie and she just laughs before asking you where you want to eat. You decide against sitting at the table and lead Billie to the living room. You sit on the couch before patting the space beside you.</p>
<p>“Come sit.”</p>
<p>Billie obeys and once she’s settled next to you, you move a little so you’re shoulder to shoulder.</p>
<p>“Is this okay?”</p>
<p>Billie smiles in answer, nodding as she watches you shift slightly. You eat in silence for a few minutes squished against Billie’s side before you gather the courage to speak.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about earlier. I’m just—working through some things.”</p>
<p>Billie just shakes her head before she reaches out for you. You squeeze her hand in return as Billie does her best to reassure you.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>You don’t quite know what to say, so you just nod. There is a lot that you want to say to Billie. You need to thank her for practically dropping everything to come and check on you. Then there’s the food that you’ve already finished. You sigh as you put your plate down on the coffee table in front of you before turning to face Billie.</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>She just smiles wider as you take a moment to look at her again. She’s wearing a pretty blouse and a pencil skirt that you wish you’d appreciated more when you’d answered the door.</p>
<p>You realize that there is a lot of Billie that you should have appreciated sooner.</p>
<p>You knew she was a force to be reckoned with. She was smart, hard-working and determined to help people. You loved how considerate she was and how she seemed to know what you were feeling even before you did. This thought made you frown slightly because you hadn’t considered it before.</p>
<p>Not only did Billie Dean seem to know your feelings without needing to be told, but she knew other things too. Specifically details that you had been careful not to mention.</p>
<p>“Billie?”</p>
<p>Billie knew what you were going to ask just based on your expression. It had turned pensive and tentative quickly as you lost yourself in thought. She’d seen the emotions playing out across your face, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit anxious.</p>
<p>“Yes, Y/N?”</p>
<p>Billie waits with bated breath as your eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion before you sit up and shoot her a questioning look.</p>
<p>“How did you know I was talking about my father?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Holy shit, y’all. This was long, angsty and mostly filler. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So the death-related angst continues at the beginning of this, but it mostly ends at the *** – 😊 Thanks as always for reading, and all of the nice comments. It’s so nice chatting with some of you.</p>
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    <p>Billie Dean wasn’t accustomed to lying. It’s something that she learned how to do in order to avoid undesirable people or situations, but it wasn’t something she resorted to often. She believed that honesty was important and that offering anything less was disrespectful.</p><p>This is what she’d learned as a child, and what she’s followed to this day.</p><p>That said, she couldn’t help but begrudge her need to be honest when you looked at her like this.</p><p>You were confused.</p><p>You were confused because Billie had somehow known what was bothering you. She hadn’t questioned why you were a wreck and this hadn’t changed when you had mentioned going through something.</p><p>You could be wrong, but the way that Billie was not responding right now was pretty telling. You couldn’t help but tense at the fact that Billie had somehow found out about your dad. It just made you wonder who else knew and wasn’t saying anything. You didn’t want people feeling sorry for you.</p><p>Billie realized she’d taken too long to respond when your frown deepened.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>You sounded worried and she didn’t like that she had caused this. Billie shook her head before she confessed what she’d known since their first date.</p><p>“I just assumed, given that yesterday was Father’s Day.”</p><p>You cringe slightly at this but recover quickly as you shoot Billie a suspicious look.</p><p>“True, but how did you know that he’d died?”</p><p>Billie really just wants to say that she Googled you and found out, but that wasn’t entirely the truth. She hadn’t known who your dad was when she’d first seen him, but she wasn’t sure you’d care about this. Billie was afraid that you’d only care about the fact that she’d figured out you had a spirit following you around and hadn’t told you. She sighed before deciding to just come out with it. She didn’t have any other option really.</p><p>Billie shifted nervously on the couch, crossing her legs before she met your gaze.</p><p>“I Googled you before our first date and saw his obituary.”</p><p>This was true.</p><p>You seemed to consider this but there was still something missing. Something wasn’t adding up. Billie seemed too anxious for just having kept this secret from you. You weren’t sure that you would have wanted her to tell you that she knew. It would just make you feel uncomfortable and weird.</p><p>You hadn’t told her about him for a reason. You weren’t ready to talk about him because despite being such an important part of your life up until a couple of months ago, you didn’t know what to say. Where would you even start, and how could you talk about him without immediately receiving the pity you hated so much?<br/>
 <br/>
The last month of school where you’d received condolences from almost every single one of your classmates had been rough. You weren’t sure why having people tell you that they were sorry for your loss made you feel horrible, but it did. You hadn’t been able to process what had happened since you were in finals and refused to accept the offer to not take them.</p><p>You needed to graduate and you used the excuse that your dad would have been so upset if you hadn’t finished school as a reason to keep going. You’d thrown yourself into school work and hadn’t allowed yourself time to really sort through all of your emotions.  </p><p>All your life you’d made a habit of hiding how you felt until your pent-up emotions bubbled over and sent you spiraling. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but it had worked up until you graduated. Now, that you were far from home and all alone, you felt like nothing really made you feel the same way it used to. You enjoyed work and loved what you were able to do each day, but there was something missing. You couldn’t really remember the last time you’d looked forward to something since leaving home.</p><p>Then you met Billie.</p><p>You hadn’t really gotten out of the house unless with Milo, and the idea of meeting people made you cringe. You knew it was necessary, but you’d always been an introvert and wanted people you liked to come find you. Like Billie had. You remember how meeting her had made you feel nervous because you’d been expecting someone very different. You hadn’t expected to get along with her and eventually ask her out. You were surprised but grateful that you’d managed to bring someone, something other than work and Milo into your life. Despite loving both, you knew you needed more to really be happy.</p><p>Billie was watching you waiting for your response when you shook your head. You weren’t sure what to say, or at least how to not make it sound like an accusation. You sigh before you run your fingers through your wet hair.</p><p>“Okay, well did you learn anything interesting?”</p><p>You had mostly been kidding when you’d parroted her question from your first date. You hadn’t expected Billie to tense visibly and draw back slightly at your question. This made you frown and worry that you’d said something wrong. Then it occurred to you that it was more likely that Billie was keeping something from you.</p><p>You didn’t get a chance to ask this before Billie spoke up. She knew she had screwed up and that it was time to come clean. She just hoped that you weren’t too angry.</p><p>“I didn’t read it. I saw it, but wanted to hear it from you instead. Whenever you’re ready.”</p><p>Billie watched as you seemed to retreat both physically and emotionally. Your face fell and you moved away as you shook your head. You liked Billie, a lot. You trusted her and wanted to talk to her about this, but you just weren’t ready. You weren’t sure you even could without breaking down again.</p><p>Memories of that night flooded your mind again and you shook your head more violently. You hated when this happened.  Whenever you thought about that night you’d called 911 and had nearly 5 cop cars show up on your street, you felt like you were experiencing it all over again. You’d been so overwhelmed and scared, but most of all devastated. It hadn’t felt real and you couldn’t talk about it without spilling all of your regrets and fears associated with what had happened.</p><p>“I can’t, I’m—not yet.”</p><p>Billie just watches helplessly as you get lost in your thoughts and become increasingly upset. She almost thinks that you’re hyperventilating when you start breathing rapidly and muttering something your breath.</p><p>“I can’t—I just. I’ll just feel guilty all over again, and I--.”</p><p>You trail off as you feel a hand covering your own where it forms a fist at your side. You flinch and hate yourself for the look on Billie’s face as you get up and turn away from her. You can’t handle this right now, and you plan on actually leaving when Billie’s voice breaks through to you.</p><p>“You shouldn’t feel guilty.”</p><p>You turn around abruptly to ask her how she knows this. You plan to call her out on her cliché and baseless claim when you see that she’s not actually looking at you. She’s looking to her left, to nothing in particular until she realizes you’ve turned around. You frown in confusion and more than a little annoyance as you shoot her a bewildered look.</p><p>“How you do know that? Why shouldn’t I?”</p><p>Billie hesitates before sighing in defeat. There was no point in dragging this out any longer. She turns so she’s facing where you’re standing behind the couch with a serious look.</p><p>“Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?”</p><p>Your immediate reaction is to say yes, of course you want to know. You’d asked after all. Then you see how she’s looking at you in concern and you think that she’s not just worried about you. She seems anxious again and you don’t understand why until it dawns on you.</p><p>You stare at Billie Dean with wide eyes as you take a step toward her. You don’t dare to believe the possibility of what your mind just put together.</p><p>“What do you know that I don’t?”</p><p>Again, Billie looks away from you to nothing before answering cautiously. She’s watching you careful, prepared to act if you react poorly to what she says next.</p><p>“Your dad doesn’t blame you for anything, Y/N.”</p><p>Your first reaction is to scowl and tell Billie that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Then you remember who she is. She’s Billie Dean Howard, medium to the stars. You bite back your accusatory remark and just stare at her in disbelief. You’re not sure how to react to what she just said, but you return to where you were sitting earlier.</p><p>“How do you know that?”</p><p>You’re apprehensive as you wait for a response from Billie. She’s still studying you carefully as she rifles through her pocket for a cigarette. She doesn’t light it though, just holds it as if to prove a point.</p><p>“He told me. Just like he told me that you don’t like it when people smoke around you.”</p><p>For a moment you just stare at Billie and the cigarette in her hand. You don’t say anything as you try to process what she’s just said. You understand what the words mean, but you can’t wrap your mind around what they imply. Despite knowing what Billie Dean does, you’ve watched an entire season of her show for god’s sake, you never considered that you could be…How is that possible?</p><p>You don’t realize how long you just stare at Billie until she sighs and put the cigarette back in its pack.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”</p><p>You almost laugh at the utter absurdity of that statement. What part of Billie talking to your dead father were you not supposed to be overwhelmed by? You huff out a laugh as you shake your head in disbelief.</p><p>“That can’t--. I don’t even-.”</p><p>You trail off as you struggle to find a way to convey your doubt without insulting Billie. You’d told her that you believe in what she does and that you think it’s a good thing that she helps people. You don’t want to take that back because you still do believe, you just didn’t ever consider that you’d be one of those people.</p><p>You look back to Billie who’s waiting for you to react. She must be anticipating your skepticism because she looks like she’s thinking of ways to prove that she’s not lying.</p><p>“What else has he said?”</p><p>Billie’s eyes widen in surprise. She had not been expecting this question from you. She watches as you move a little closer either in interest or just out of a need to be closer to her, she’s not sure. She doesn’t think much of it as she smiles slightly at some of the things that your dad had said to her since she arrived.</p><p>“He says that he’s proud of you, but that Milo’s too thin.”</p><p>You actually laugh at this because it sounds exactly like what your dad would say. He had always tried to feed Milo more than his dog food and when he was a puppy he’d actually been a little chunky. You’d walked him more and asked your dad not to feed him anything extra, but you knew that he snuck food to the shepherd.</p><p>Your smile fades slightly as you look around. You’re not sure what you expected to see, but you definitely don’t see your dad as you do a quick sweep of the room. You sigh before turning back to Billie with a worried look.</p><p>“Why-why is he still here?”</p><p>Billie sighs as she closes her eyes in concentration. She hadn’t specifically talked to your dad about this so she wasn’t sure. If she had to guess though it had to do more with you than him. She wasn’t surprised when your dad confirmed this and she steeled herself for what she had to tell you.</p><p>“He doesn’t want to move on yet. He says you need to understand that his death was inevitable first.”</p><p>You shoot Billie a confused look before you shake your head. That’s not true. He didn’t have to die the way he did. She had thought he was getting better, only to be blindsided by his death. You had been baking a cake of all things when you’d realized how long it had been since your dad had gone to take a nap. You had called upstairs to him several times without answer.</p><p>You’d even texted him to make sure he was still upstairs. You heard his ringtone confirming he was there, but when you called again from the middle of the stairs, you suddenly had a terrifying feeling settle in the pit of your stomach.</p><p>“He’s sorry that you had to find him like that.”</p><p>You snap out of your thoughts at Billie’s words. Not realizing you had started crying again at the thought of finding out that your dad had passed away, you wonder why your vision’s foggy. You begin to feel overwhelmed by the sense of loss, a feeling you’d become far too familiar with, and you begin drifting off into your own head again. You start to pull away again before you simply shake your head while running your hand through your hair.</p><p>“I c-can’t talk about this, Billie. Please.”</p><p>You’re pleading with the medium to stop because you feel your grief threaten to consume you again before you see arms outstretched toward you. You don’t hesitate to move closer and practically fall into the blonde. You hide your face in her hair as you hug Billie tightly. You breathe out a sigh of relief before you take another deep breath. The smell of Billie’s shampoo is oddly relaxing and you feel like you could just fall asleep in her arms.</p><p>As much as you’d like to, you pull away eventually and look around nervously as if you think you’ll see your dad just standing by. You scold yourself for the ridiculous thought before you look back to Billie. You’re about to apologize, and she must realize it too because she shakes her head before you can speak up.</p><p>“Don’t apologize, Y/N. Is there anything I can do for you?”</p><p>You shake your head because there really isn’t anything that Billie can do. She’s already helping just by being here, but you don’t want to say this. You don’t want to make her feel obligated to stay here with you. You’re certain she has better things to do. She has work and kittens to look after. You shoot her an uncertain look before you shrug and look around again, this time your gaze falling to Milo who is lying by the front door.</p><p>“I just think I need to rest and…process all of this.”</p><p>Billie nods pushing down the disappointment she feels at the clear dismissal. She doesn’t think that you’re feeling any better, and she doesn’t want to leave you. That said, she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. She glances around stopping on the third person in the room with a questioning look.</p><p>
  <em>What should I do? </em>
</p><p>Once she receives her answer, she turns to you to ask if you would like company. She doesn’t want to leave, but she’s not going to stay if you don’t want her to.</p><p>“Do you want to be alone?”</p><p>You knew the answer immediately, but you felt guilty about wanting Billie to just hang out with you while you slept. You wouldn’t even really notice that she was here, but you felt bettering going to sleep knowing that you wouldn’t be alone when you woke up. You sighed before shrugging in an attempt to be nonchalant.</p><p>“I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay.”</p><p>Billie frowned at this answer as she crossed her arms in disapproval.</p><p>“That’s not what I asked, Y/N.”</p><p>You cringe because you can’t help that you’re a terrible liar. You’re also stressed and on the verge of another crying fit so any hope you had of being convincing it utterly shot. You sigh in defeat before you nod and shoot Billie a shy look.</p><p>“Could you stay? Just for a little while.”</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>Billie was relieved that you’d asked her to stay. She was even more relieved when you’d fallen asleep fairly quickly. You’d passed out on the couch after you’d been too tired to make a decision about what to watch on TV. You hadn’t wanted Billie to just sit there in silence so you suggested she watch something. This of course led to Billie asking you what you’d been watching recently and you’d turned a deep shade of red when you’d mentioned watching her show sometimes.</p><p>Now, however, Billie was watching a documentary, not that she was really paying attention. She was mostly trying to figure out what to do next. She’d texted Heather to make sure she could stay with the kittens until she got home. Billie had no idea how long she’d be here, but she wanted to make sure you were in a good headspace before leaving. At least a better one than she’d found you in.</p><p>Billie looks down to where your head is resting against her thigh. She’d been running her hand through your hair soothing you to sleep as she considered what to do now. She had seen that there wasn’t much in your fridge and that you probably wouldn’t have anything to eat for dinner if she didn’t do something about it. She was putting together a list in her head of things to buy when she heard Milo whine.</p><p>He’d been sitting beside the coffee table just a few feet away from them for a while. He just watched them and tried to jump up on the couch a few times until he realized there was no room. Now he was sitting up and looking around anxiously as he moved closer to Billie.</p><p>“What is it, Milo?”</p><p>Milo whined louder before he took off toward the kitchen leaving Billie a little confused. It wasn’t until he came back with his leash that she realized he must need to go out. She looked back to you, still fast asleep before sighing in defeat. She wasn’t going to wake you up for this despite not really knowing where to take him. Billie stood up carefully making sure you didn’t stir before grabbing Milo’s leash from him.</p><p>“Come on, Milo. Let’s go.”</p><p>It wasn’t until Billie had stepped out of your apartment that she remembered that she could be recognized. She hadn’t considered running into any paparazzi but now as she walked your dog downstairs and to the front of the building, she realized that it should have occurred to her sooner. She followed Milo to his favorite tree before looking around while he peed. She was glad to see that there weren’t many people around, and none of them seemed to notice her.</p><p>She was about to turn back around and go inside when Milo pulled her in a different direction. He wanted to keep walking. Billie sighed before she followed the dog through the parking lot. She watched as Milo sniffed everything in sight and peed a couple more times as they walked down the street. Billie couldn’t help but be a little self-conscious as they continued their walk. She was completely exposed and not to mention wearing very impractical shoes for this. She decided to turn around after about ten minutes. She didn’t want you waking up and worrying about where they’d gone.</p><p>Milo didn’t want to go back at first. He pulled onward making Billie sigh as she struggled to get Milo to cooperate. It wasn’t as easy as she anticipated. He was a big dog and she knew that if he wanted to, he could drag her to wherever he wanted to go. Luckily he seemed to be better behaved than that and he just whined before he turned around and jumped on her. She cursed under her breath before pushing him back down with a scowl. She was going to be covered in fur.</p><p>“No, Milo. Get down.”</p><p>He whined again, but listened nonetheless as he started to head back the way they came. He stopped less and seemed a little more energetic as he and Billie arrived back to your apartment. Milo bounded back inside ignoring you completely as he ran to his water bowl. You were still asleep on the couch, and you probably had been since they left. Billie wasn’t sure how long you would be asleep for, but she decided to go out and get some food.</p><p>She checked on Milo to find him sniffing at a box of his treats. When he started to paw at it, Billie hurried over to stop him. She grabbed it off of the ground and opened up the container. She pulled out one of the treats, watching as Milo jumped up in excitement trying to grab it out of her hand. She shot him a look that made him sit and wag his tail excitedly.</p><p>“Nuh uh, sit, Milo. Good boy.”</p><p>She held the treat above him before seeing what other tricks he could do. She learned that he could sit, shake, roll over and lie down. As Milo ate his well-deserved treat, Billie looked around the kitchen for something to write on. She wanted to leave you a note so she didn’t have to wake you up.</p><p>She eventually found a note pad and a pen and quickly scribbled you a note. She left it on the coffee table in front of where you were sleeping before she left to the store. Hopefully she would be back before you woke up.</p><p>You awoke to the smell of something delicious, and you realized quickly that you were starving. You sat up and looked around you with half opened eyes. You blink a couple of times before you see that Billie is standing in the kitchen over the stove.</p><p>“Morning.”</p><p>You smile slightly as you stand up and wander over to see what Billie’s cooking. You smile when you realize that it’s another favorite of yours, you talked a lot about food on your first couple of dates, and you take a seat at the counter before shooting her a questioning look.</p><p>“Hi. Do you need any help?</p><p>Billie just shook her head before mentioning that she was almost finished. You smiled before looking to the clock. 6:30, just in time for dinner. This thought makes you start and you look around frantically for Milo.</p><p>“Milo! I forgot to walk and feed him and--!”</p><p>You’re cut off by Billie shaking her head at you. She’s smiling, as you look down at your dog who is just sitting at your feet without a care in the world. He’d already been fed and had just been waiting for you to wake up.</p><p>“He’s fine, dear. I walked and fed him.”</p><p>You turned to Billie looking a little surprised before shaking yourself from her daze with a smile.</p><p>“Thank you, you fed him already?”</p><p> You were mostly just asking for clarification which Billie gave you with a nod. She looked at the clock before mentioning that she’d fed him about half an hour ago.</p><p>“He wouldn’t stop whining so I figured it was dinner time. I gave him three cups.”</p><p>You nearly choke on air at this and you look to Milo who doesn’t seem bothered by this at all. He honestly has no shame.</p><p>“Was that too much?”</p><p>The look on your face told Billie everything she needed to know, but you decide to tell her the proper amount with a shrug.</p><p>“Um, a little. I usually only give him that much a day, but it’s fine. I’m sure he didn’t mind.”</p><p>You laugh slightly as Billie looks a little guilty before you shake your head. You don’t want her to feel bad because it’s not that big of a deal, but you just make a mental note to walk Milo again sooner rather than later.  You stand up and walk by Milo and into the kitchen next to Billie, You peer into the pan that has the mostly finished food before looking back to the medium with a shy smile.</p><p>“Thank you for taking care of him, and spending the afternoon here. I’m sure you had a lot better things to do.”</p><p>Billie shook her head as she moved a little closer to you with a smile. “That’s not true. You’re more important than any of that.”</p><p>You feel your heart soar at Billie’s words and you smile before shaking your head. “Still, I appreciate it.”<br/>
Billie just smiles before cutting off the stove and turning to give you her full attention. You move closer to her without realizing it, but you’re not complaining when the medium reaches out for you with a concerned smile.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>You sigh before you fall into Billie’s embrace and nod despite not feeling great. You aren’t lying though because you feel better than you did before Billie got here, and definitely better now that you’ve slept. You say this and Billie smiles before leaning in closer to you.</p><p>“Better, I’m still a little confused, but I feel better having talked, a little.”</p><p>You pause as you try to figure out what else to say. You’re a little distracted by the feeling of Billie’s hands dropping to your hips. You take a deep breath before you say the most honest thing you can.</p><p>“I just—I can’t talk about the rest of it quite yet.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t hesitate to nod in understanding. She wouldn’t push you to try and talk about your dad yet. Not if you weren’t ready. She watches you smile shyly before nodding yourself and she can’t help but want to feel that smile against her lips.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>You’re grateful that Billie is so understanding and you can’t help but want to show you appreciation in more than just words. You also really just wanted to kiss Billie again. So you decided to do it and you were leaning in before you asked.</p><p>“Can I?”</p><p>You didn’t have to say anything else before Billie was kissing you. She wanted to pick up where you left off the other night, but she knew you needed to go slowly. She moved one of the hands at your hips to your cheek as she kissed you a little more insistently. You responded by pushing Billie against the counter as you matched her pace. You faintly heard yourself groan as Billie held you tighter and you moved your hands from Billie’s shoulders and placed them on either side of the medium.</p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>You draw back quickly when the pain registers and you curse yourself for your absentmindedness as you wave your hand around. You hadn’t realized how you’d practically pushed Billie on top of your dinner until you burnt your hand on it. You sighed in defeat before you move to the sink to run some water over your burnt fingers.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>You nod your head before you really even process what Billie is asking you. You hiss a little under your breath as the water soothes your skin.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just dumb.”</p><p>You turn toward Billie to say this, but your only response is another kiss. You’re surprised at first, but then you smile before pulling away with a blush.</p><p>“You’re not dumb.”</p><p>You know that she’s right, but you can’t help but think about how some of the things that happened to you at work make you think otherwise. You don’t want to talk about it, but Billie sees the way you’re not convinced. She watches as your mind goes elsewhere and she frowns before reaching out for you.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>You shake your head before turning away to grab a paper towel. It’s not like you’re going to get away with not talking about it, but maybe you can buy your time.</p><p>“How about we talk about it over dinner?”</p><p>You both only make it about 30 minutes into dinner before Milo is begging to go out. You don’t notice at first because you and Billie are in the middle of a conversation about the medium’s teenage years. You were dying to hear more about Billie Dean, but Milo had other plans. It wasn’t until he started scooting on the carpet, that he caught your attention. You turned to him and cursed before excusing yourself.</p><p>“Shit, Milo, no! I’m sorry, I’ll be right back!”</p><p>Like a whirlwind, you and Milo were out the door in less than ten seconds. Billie just watched you go with a sympathetic smile. She knew that she was probably to blame for Milo’s urgency, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want a minute alone.</p><p>Or at least without you in the room.</p><p>She turned to where your dad had been sitting throughout dinner with a concerned look.</p><p>“What is it you wanted to tell me?”</p><p>Mason had been waiting outside for hours. Since he’d received the tip that Billie Dean Howard was seen at the apartment complex of that vet she’d been spotted with a couple times.  He was now sitting in his car almost falling asleep as he waited for one of them to show up. He’d almost given up, but the fact that Billie Dean’s car was still here, parked in the visitor’s lot just within sight, made him stay.</p><p>He had been working for the National Enquirer for nearly three years. He’d started as a summer intern and all these years later he was still a reporter. He’d been chasing stories for a long time only to come up with a handful of lucrative or even new ones. He was desperate for something to get him off the streets and in an editor’s office. He was tired of running around and writing amongst mediocre wannabees.</p><p>He needed to catch a break.</p><p>He knew that Billie Dean Howard was a big deal right now. She wasn’t the most famous star he’d had the misfortune of following around, but with her show airing another season in just weeks, she was a household name. A lot of people would pay for any personal information they could get about her. She was notoriously elusive despite liking the limelight, and no one had been able to confirm she was even dating since shooting for her show began.</p><p>That could all change today if he managed to see either Billie Dean or this doctor she was seeing.</p><p>Dr. Y/L/N.</p><p>She had recently moved to the area and despite efforts to learn more about her, there wasn’t much out there. Nothing very interesting at least, and any attempt to talk to her at her work had failed. He and other reporters had been kicked out within minutes with nothing to show from their efforts.</p><p>As Mason watched the familiar brunette practically run out of her building with a dog, he realized that might change. He watched as the dog immediately squatted and he made a noise of disgust before he grabbed his camera and recorder. He stuffed his keys in his pocket as he got out of his car and took off across the parking lot.</p><p>You sigh as you watch Milo go to the bathroom, already getting the doggy bags ready as he squats. You have to pull him back toward you as he tries to take off down the road before you even pick up after him. You nearly step in it and curse him which makes him whine and sit down. After you toss everything in the trash you let Milo drag you away.</p><p>You sigh in defeat before picking up your speed so you’re running with him.</p><p>“Milo, slow down.”</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N?”</p><p>You turn at the sound of your name coming from an unfamiliar source, and you immediately scowl when you see the camera. You turn away and keep walking because you’re not in the mood. Not even remotely in the mood. You just need Milo to pee and then you’re going back inside.</p><p>“Not interested.”</p><p>You walk a little faster and Milo does too until he realizes that you’re not alone. He stops short and turns to see someone hurrying toward them and all of a sudden, he doesn’t care about finding the perfect tree.</p><p>Whoever it is that’s following you is very persistent because he keeps running after you until he’s in your face with his camera. Milo’s already on edge as he eyes this stranger carefully.</p><p>“I’m with the National Enquirer and I just have a couple questions about your relationship with Billie Dean Howard!”</p><p>You shake your head before you turn to leave again. You don’t make it very far.</p><p>“I said, I’m not interested.”</p><p>Mason is quick to follow you as he asks another question that you don’t intend on answering.</p><p>“She’s here isn’t she? Will you at least confirm that you’re dating?”</p><p>You don’t even dignify that with a response and continue on down the sidewalk until you feel him grab your wrist. You stop short as he yanks you to a halt, and you spin around at the same time as your dog as you try to pull free.</p><p>“Get off of me!”</p><p>Mason doesn’t have time to respond before Milo’s jumping on him with a growl that makes you flinch. You watch as Milo pushes him back and away from you, but doesn’t bite him and you thank whoever is up there listening that your training paid off. That said, if this idiot couldn’t take a hint, he would end up getting bitten, and you wouldn’t feel very sorry for him.</p><p>You watch him fall to the ground along with his camera that cracks and sends glass scattering across the sidewalk. You sigh before shaking your head and moving to walk past him and go back to your apartment. You’re not in the mood for this. Not today. You lead Milo who’s still growling at the fallen reporter away as quickly as you can.</p><p>“Come on, Milo. Let’s go.”</p><p>Billie jumps slightly at the sound of the door slamming shut. She turns just in time to see Milo jump up on you where you’re leaning against the door overwhelmed and a little annoyed. You have to take a deep breath before you can focus enough to push Milo off of you. You scratch him behind his ears before thanking him and telling him to go get his treats.</p><p>He bounds away and as soon as he’s gone Billie is standing in front of you with a concerned look. You look a little frazzled and it isn’t until you mention what happened that she realizes how rattled you really are.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>You nod without really meaning it, but you don’t have time to take back your lie before Milo returns with his container of treats. You take them from him and he sits as you pull one out and throw it to him. You mutter a ‘good boy’ before you shake your head and look to Billie to explain.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just someone from the National Enquirer just jumped me and caught me off guard.”</p><p>Billie shoots you a worried look that you don’t notice as you watch Milo eat his treat. She decides to ask because she can tell that she’s missing something, or rather that you’re leaving something out.</p><p>“What did they do?”</p><p>You stand up a little straighter before making sure the door behind you is locked. Billie notices this and isn’t any less worried by your behavior.</p><p>“He just grabbed me. Stretched my favorite shirt. The jerk.”</p><p>You weren’t really upset about that, but you didn’t want to show how upset you really were. You hadn’t expected that to happen, and you were a little surprised by how much it affected you. People were creeps. Unpredictable creeps.</p><p>You’re too busy looking at your shirt to see the anger in Billie’s eyes, and you’re caught off guard by her reaching behind you for the door handle. You jump slightly before you realize what she’s doing and you frown before trying to block her path.</p><p>“Wait, Billie what are you doing?”</p><p>Billie unlocks the door before trying to pull it open, but you just push the door closed again once you realize Billie’s intentions.</p><p>“I’m going out there.”</p><p><br/>
 You shake your head immediately because that sounds like a bad idea. Not only would that be giving him exactly what he wanted, but who knows if he was even still there. If so, he was probably pouting over his broken camera and lack of a story.</p><p>“You can’t do that. He was asking about us, but I didn’t tell him anything.”</p><p>Billie still didn’t budge. Her hand was still on the door and she was shooting you an expectant look as if you needed to say more to convince her. You tried to do just that and sighed in relief when she seemed to deflate at your words.</p><p>“If you go out there and yell at him, he’ll have his answers whether you tell him or not.”</p><p>Billie sighs before dropping her hand and taking a step back away from you and the door. She knows your right, but the only thing she can think about at the moment is tearing into the idiot downstairs who thought it was okay to touch you. She takes a deep breath before nodding in agreement. You were right.</p><p>“Alright, but I’m still going to get him fired.”</p><p>You don’t have time to argue before Billie is returning to the table to finish dinner. You watch as she sits back down before turning to you and finally you seem to realize you should follow. You run back to the table to finish your food and hopefully forget all about the damn National Enquirer.</p><p>It’s late, almost 10 at night and Billie knows that she needs to leave. Heather’s been watching the kittens far longer than she should have been today and Billie needs to let her go home. The only problem is that she doesn’t want to leave. Not one bit.</p><p>She looks to where you’ve fallen asleep again beside her. After dinner you decided to try and relax and watch some television. This led to you admitting which episode of her show you were on and you both watched one or two before you fell asleep. You had asked a lot of questions and Billie had been happy to answer them. She’d also told you how in one location she’d lost a shoe when a stair gave out and her foot got stuck.</p><p>You had tried not to, but you’d laughed so hard at the image of Billie Dean stuck on a staircase for almost an hour that you’d rolled off the couch. As punishment you had to sit on the floor for the next episode while Milo took your spot next to Billie.</p><p>Now that you were back on the couch asleep, Billie is left figuring out what to do now. She had spent a long time here with you and she had to get home. She hated to wake you up, but she realized that now that you’ve rested some you were a light sleeper. Just sitting up made you stir and she watched as you yawned before opening your eyes slowly.</p><p>“What time is it?”</p><p>You’re adorably sleepy and Billie smiles before answering that it’s a little past 10. You start and groan as you shake your head at your inability to stay awake past 9. You shoot Billie an apologetic look as you sit up that she only smiles wider at.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I keep falling asleep on you.”</p><p>Billie shakes her head as she watches you attempt to fix your hair that is all over the place. She briefly wonders if your bedhead is worse.</p><p>“Don’t apologize. I don’t mind.”</p><p>She pauses as she looks to the corner of the room and sees that Milo is curled up into a ball, fast asleep. She hates to say it, but she really does need to get going.</p><p>“I should get going though. Heather probably wants to go home.”</p><p>You start slightly at the mention of Billie’s pet sitter and suddenly you feel guilty for asking her to stay for so long. She had forgotten that the kittens couldn’t just stay at home by themselves. Rather you’d forgotten about their existence altogether. You’d been too focused on just having Billie with you.  </p><p>“I forgot about that. Sorry for keeping you so long. At least let me walk you to your car?”</p><p>Despite it being night and her car potentially being a little farther away than she thinks, she doesn’t want you to be bothered. Billie also knows that it’s possible that Mr. National Enquirer is still out there. So Billie shakes her head as she stands up and straightens out her skirt with a sigh.</p><p>“It’s alright you don’t have to. It’s late--.”</p><p>You cut Billie off as you jump to your feet and finally manage to straighten your hair. You nod in agreement.</p><p>“You’re right. It’s late and walking alone is dangerous.”</p><p>You and Billie stare each other down for a few seconds waiting for one of you to break. Unsurprisingly despite both of you being stubborn, you cave first and you sigh before gesturing to where Milo is resting.</p><p>“Alright, if you won’t let me go, will you at least take him?”</p><p>Billie shoots you a confused look. She’s not understanding what you mean, but she doesn’t ask until you walk over to Milo and shake him awake.</p><p>“Milo, wake up. I need a favor.”</p><p>He’s up immediately and licks your hand with an excited tail wag. You smile before looking back to Billie who still seems a little confused.</p><p>‘You want me to take Milo?”</p><p>Billie’s first thought is how Milo and the cats probably won’t get along. Then she realizes that you don’t mean for her to take him home. Just to her car.</p><p>You nod your head as you lead Milo over to Billie before making him sit.</p><p>“Yeah, he’ll follow you to your car and then come back. He’s done it before.”</p><p>When Billie’s eyes widen you back track to try and correct yourself.</p><p>“Well, he hasn’t followed you before, he’s just trained to—well. Oh stop, you know what I meant!”</p><p>Billie’s laughing at you by the time you’re stumbling over your words. She smiles apologetically before leaning in to kiss you in apology. It’s quick and you’re still a little dazed when she’s pulling away to shoot you a questioning look</p><p>“What else does he know how to do?”</p><p>The question surprises you a little, but you’re happy to answer it. You smile because you honestly never mind talking about your dog, and you mention how he’s trained in the basic, sit, stay, shake, roll over and about a dozen other specific skills.</p><p>“He’s a really fast learner so one day I taught him the names of a bunch of different things and then asked him to find them for me. I’ve also had to teach him how to behave at the vet. He was a jerk for a while.”</p><p>You and Billie somehow make it over to the front door as you tell her about the time he tried to alligator roll during a nail trim. It had taken time and a lot of treats, but now the worst he did was whine whenever he saw the trimmers.</p><p>“Well, he seems pretty well behaved now.”</p><p>You both turn to Milo when Billie says this, and the shepherd is rolling around on his back trying to scratch an itch. You roll your eyes before shrugging in a noncommittal way. You’re not so sure about that. He’s spoiled rotten, but he behaves when it matters.</p><p>You’re leaning against the door before you sigh and shoot Billie a questioning look. You know you have to let her get home.</p><p>“Ready for your escort?”</p><p>Billie wasn’t really sure what to expect from Milo as they walked downstairs. She hadn’t really been paying attention as they walked down the stairs. She was still thinking about when she’d see you again. Hopefully it would be before her appointment on Friday, but she couldn’t be sure given her schedule this week. She sighed as she followed Milo out of the elevator and down to the lobby. She tightened her hold on his leash as they walked through the front door.</p><p>Billie scanned the parking lot quickly, not noticing anything out of the ordinary before leading Milo to her car. She arrived there incident free and Milo just sat down and watched her as she opened the door. His tail started to wag and he actually tried to get in until Billie shook her head and did what you’d told her to.</p><p>“No, Milo. Here. Go back inside.”</p><p>The dog whined but took the leash in to his mouth after licking Billie’s hand. Billie smiled as he turned and headed back the way he came. She watched him in awe before she realized she needed to go. She was going to have to tip Heather big time for watching the kittens for this long.</p><p>She was too busy thinking about this as she pulled out of the parking lot to notice you meet Milo at the front door. You watched Billie leave with a smile before you led Milo back upstairs.</p><p>“Good boy, Milo. Let’s go to bed, hm?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This was supposed to be one-shot when I started, but here’s part 7 and we’re probably a little more than halfway to the finish line? Not quite sure, but here it is. There’s less angst in this one, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Returning to work on Tuesday had been a little weird for you. Not only were you reminded that everyone you worked with probably knew that you were dating Billie Dean, but you weren’t able to shake what Billie had told you about your dad.</p><p>It was a little unsettling to think about how he hadn’t moved on yet. It was also upsetting because you wanted your dad to find peace, but knowing that you were the reason why this wasn’t happening made you feel guilty. You hadn’t gathered the courage to talk to Billie more about him despite talking to her daily, and you just couldn’t shake the anxiousness and disappointment you felt while at work.</p><p>It was Thursday morning and you’d already had to tell reception twice to just hang up on any reporters who called. It was getting to be a lot and you had no idea why people wanted to talk to you so badly. You didn’t have anything to say, and you would have thought they’d take the hint by now.</p><p>Unfortunately, this was not the case, and you had to dodge Erin’s questions while trying not to notice how she was scouring the tabloids for information about you and Billie. It was distracting to say the least, so you were grateful that your busy schedule and other worries kept you preoccupied.</p><p>After finishing your last appointment before lunch, a final puppy visit that was mostly just fawning over a cute dog, you retreat to your office for a break. You have a few records to finish that you didn’t get to this morning, but you check your phone first to see if Billie texted you back. She’d been worried this morning when Mickey had been stumbling a lot when she woke up. He’d been struggling to walk and she’d called you to ask for your opinion. Given that she had an appointment scheduled for them all tomorrow, you told her to watch him and keep you updated.</p><p>She’d sent you a video, and as you watch it you get a little more concerned. At almost 4 weeks old they were moving around more, but still not really walking. The others in Bit’s litter were more active than Mickey, which wasn’t a surprise, but it seemed like Mickey had slowed down a little which wasn’t good.</p><p>You check your schedule for this afternoon before realizing that you didn’t really have time to see him today. You’re afraid that its related to his fall but you decide that it can wait until tomorrow unless he gets worse. You put your phone down after you send the message and get to work on records while you have some time.</p><p>It’s about 15 minutes later when Billie sends you another video of Mickey that changes your mind. You make sure that someone will be available and willing to help you before you tell Billie to have Heather bring them in. May as well see them all today if Heather has to bring Mickey.</p><p>“Hey Erin, are you in the mood to see kittens?”</p><p>The brunette turns toward you, holding half of a sandwich as she shoots you a questioning look.</p><p>“What kind of kittens?”</p><p>You smile before mentioning that they are Billie’s and you watch as Erin shoves the rest of her sandwich in her mouth somehow before jumping up. She runs to get ready and you just roll your eyes before telling her that you’ll be in pharmacy. You need to attach those videos to Mickey’s record anyway.</p><p>20 minutes later you are still sitting in pharmacy approving prescription requests when Erin returns. She seems more excited than you think she’d be, but you don’t get to ask before she’s practically squealing.</p><p>“You didn’t say that it would be her today!”</p><p>You’re a little confused but it only takes the sound of a familiar voice for you to understand Erin’s excitement.</p><p>“Hi, I’m here to see Dr. Y/L/N.”</p><p>A couple of minutes later, Billie was in an exam room with you and Erin trying to wrangle all of the kittens. You were mostly focused on Mickey at least for the time being as you set him down on the table and tried to get him to walk.</p><p>“Did you work from home today?”</p><p>You ask this as you examine Mickey, so you miss Billie’s brief glance to Erin who’s getting weights on the other six cats in the room. She eventually nods before deciding to go with an easy answer.</p><p>“After how he was acting this morning, I just didn’t feel like I should leave him. I’ll pay for that tomorrow though.”</p><p>You smile sympathetically as you meet her gaze before looking back to Mickey who mewls when you press on one of his legs.</p><p>“Sorry. Not your idea of a good time?”</p><p>You don’t mean it to come off as flirting, but Billie’s look indicates that she definitely took it that way. You miss the look though since you’re busy focusing on Mickey’s little legs, but Erin notices. She’d looked up in surprise at your words and immediately turned to Billie Dean to see how she reacts. She has to tamp down the urge to smile widely at the look on the medium’s face.</p><p>You were in for it later.</p><p>Instead of saying anything like this; however, Billie just shrugs before shaking her head. You are only half listening because you’re almost certain you figured out what’s going on with Mickey.</p><p>“Not quite.”</p><p> Billie watches as you nod before frowning slightly as you scratch Mickey’s ears a little. You ask a few questions about how the kittens act at home. You wonder if they rough house at all or if Bit is rough with them. Specifically Mickey. Billie says that she hasn’t noticed any of this behavior, but that Mickey occasionally found his way at the bottom of a kitten pile.</p><p>You decide that since Mickey is back spending most of his time with his siblings that they just need to keep a closer eye on him. You mention that he may have hurt his leg a little from something that happened at home. It wasn’t serious enough for x-rays but that he should be monitored for the next few days. Additionally, you were going to send home some pain medication that he’d take for the next few days. You asked Erin to go grab it while you dewormed all of the kittens. They were still too young for vaccines, but they’d come back in a couple of weeks for those.</p><p>You were glad that Billie had gotten them all colored collars because trying to keep track of which kitten was which was a pain in the ass. The only one who could easily be identified was Mickey because he was still the smallest and he had a little kink in his tail at the end.</p><p>You broke up the little tablet of dewormer and covered it in baby food for Mickey. While Mickey ate you look to Billie again with a frown.</p><p>“I’m sorry your day has been so stressful.”</p><p> Billie just sighed before taking Mickey once he was finished with his dewormer. He seemed really hungry and you’d ask about that in a second, but for now you just took a second to admire the sight of Billie Dean holding him. You watched as Mickey tried to bite one of the rings on Billie’s finger before her voice brought your attention back to her.</p><p>“It’s alright, it’s not your fault. You’re the only thing so far that’s made it any better.”</p><p>You smile at this while reaching down for the next kitten to hide your blush. You hear the door open behind you and you know that Erin’s back with Mickey’s meds so any more flirting will have to wait until later.</p><p>“Glad to hear it.” </p><p>Once all of the kittens were dewormed and you went over how to give Mickey the medication it was just you and Billie again. Erin had reminded you that Milo still hadn’t gone out since lunch started, and luckily, she volunteered to let him out so you could keep talking to Billie.</p><p>You went over a lot of kitten things that were just around the corner, if not already happening. You mentioned how they would transition to solid food soon and how she would need to use formula for this. Most of this you wrote down so Billie could reference it later. This was a lot of information that you didn’t really expect anyone to remember.</p><p>You are distracted during your conversation about litter when you see Milo out running in the yard. He looks around before coming right up to the window. He jumps on it once before he sits and just stares at you. You are grateful that someone outside throws a tennis ball and Milo goes running off. You finish going over the important points for using litter with the kittens.</p><p>You straighten the sheets of paper you’d written on before handing them to Billie. You realize how much you’d talked and you apologize while watching Billie fold them neatly and place them in her purse.</p><p>“I’m sorry. That was a lot I just threw at you.”</p><p>Billie laughs before shaking her head. She looks to Bit who is still wandering around the room while everyone else is already back in their carrier. You go to grab her, but she hisses at you and runs away. You sigh as Billie rolls her eyes at her no-good cat.</p><p>“Don’t be. It’s going to be a huge help.”</p><p>You smile as you nod and finally manage to wrangle Bit into the carrier. You’re now on Billie’s side of the room, but you don’t hurry back as you stand up straight and take this chance to really look at Billie.</p><p>You knew by now that the woman always looked good, but there were some outfits that you liked on her more than others. Not that you didn’t appreciate them all. Today, Billie was wearing more casual clothing probably because she had just been at home, and you were finding it hard not to reach out and touch.</p><p>It was almost as if Billie had read your mind because she smiled before reaching out for you. She stopped short before she let her fingers slide along the fabric of your coat. Her smile turned into a smirk as she met your gaze with a teasing look.</p><p>“You really do look good in this.”</p><p>You breathe out a laugh before shooting back an equally teasing look. Unfortunately, you aren’t as good at this as Billie. Not that you’re surprised.</p><p>“Yeah? I almost forgot how you liked a woman in uniform.”</p><p>Billie just chuckles under her breath before she shakes her head. You’re not sure what she disagrees with, but she doesn’t make you wait long to find out.</p><p>“Not as much as I’d like to see her out of it.”</p><p>You blush so hard Billie can practically feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks. You lean back a little but don’t move too far as you laugh at your own stupidity. You run a hand through your hair before smiling back at the grinning medium.</p><p>“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”</p><p>Billie just laughs before nodding in agreement. You definitely had. Not that she was complaining. She loved flirting with you and seeing you blush. It just made her go a little crazy seeing it without being able to respond the way she wanted to. Each time she saw your face flush, it just made her want to see what else she could do to make that happen.</p><p>Instead, since they are standing in the building that you work in, and not at either of their homes, Billie just sighs and moves away from you.</p><p>Or at least she tries to.</p><p>She drops her hands from your coat only to have you reach out for her. Your hands go to her hip and to play with her hair as you shoot her a smile.</p><p>“Just one? A quick one.”</p><p>Billie only has to smile for you to get the point, and you’re quick to kiss her. You pull her closer before groaning as the medium bites you bottom lip before soothing it with her tongue. You don’t resist as she grabs you again and backs you up into the wall. You let Billie take the lead as she slides her tongue past your lips and into your mouth. Your grip on her hip tightens and you moan as Billie’s tongue meets yours. She kisses you like you’ll be caught any minute, and you’d worry about that if you could focus on anything other than Billie Dean.</p><p>Billie Dean’s mouth against yours. Her hand fisting the fabric of your coat. The smell of her familiar intoxicating perfume.</p><p>All of this and the fact you’re still at work, technically on the clock makes the heat in the pit of your stomach flare and you kiss her harder.</p><p>You’re panting by the time Billie pulls away from you, and you don’t even have the energy to be embarrassed or annoyed by her smug smirk. Instead you just lean against the wall staring at her with wide, dazed eyes. Billie merely smooths the lapels of your coat absentmindedly as she shoots you a look that makes you want to give it all up.</p><p>You’re not exactly sure what that means, but you know in that moment that if Billie asked you to do it, you would. Without hesitation.</p><p>“Was that one?”</p><p>You don’t really register the question because your body is still trying to recover. You take a deep breath before blinking a few times to try and ground yourself. When your brain finally processes the words, it still takes your mouth a couple of seconds to form a response. You nod before attempting to stand up straight. You don’t really manage it.</p><p>“Yeah. I guess.”</p><p>Billie smiles unable to hide how her effect on you makes her feel. She’s always been the one to initiate things in her relationships because she loves to watch people squirm.  Having you respond so well to her made Billie want to do all sorts of things to you, and she would. Just not here.</p><p> She moves back toward you, reaching out, but not touching you. Instead, she plants her hands against the wall on either side of your head as she meets your slightly bewildered gaze.</p><p>“So we’re done then?”</p><p>You don’t respond immediately, but all you can think about is how you really don’t want to be done. You have maybe a half hour left of lunch before you have appointments. You couldn’t care less about that right now though and you shake your head before you’ve really thought it through.</p><p>“Maybe one more.”</p><p>Billie smirks at you. One of her hands moves to brush against your cheek and you can’t help how you lean into it slightly. She definitely notices and leans back in to kiss you again.</p><p>“Good girl.”</p><p>You feel your heart jump in your chest and your breath hitch as Billie’s words hit your ears. Your head swims and you may groan as you let Billie pull you against her. Suddenly nothing seemed to matter. Remembering to breathe wasn’t important to you in that moment. Not compared to doing exactly what Billie told you to. You felt a chill run up your spine when Billie’s hands snuck under your shirt.</p><p>You gasp into her mouth before she breaks away to kiss down your neck. You would be embarrassed by the whine that leaves you if you weren’t so turned on. You crave Billie’s touch and just knowing that it was so close, but that it wouldn’t go further while you were here was torture.</p><p>You might hear Milo bark from outside, but you aren’t sure. You don’t dare move away to check and instead you hiss under your breath as Billie’s fingernails drag across sensitive skin.</p><p>“Oh fuck.”</p><p>Suddenly Billie’s hands are gone and her lips are no longer on your neck. You almost fall you’re so unsteady as Billie moves away from you without warning. You frown until you hear a knock on the door a moment later. You don’t have time to wonder how Billie had heard them before the door’s opening.</p><p>You’re equally disappointed and relieved that Billie managed to be on the other side of the room by the time Erin stuck her head inside.</p><p>"Dr, Y/L/N. You have a phone call from the emergency hospital.”</p><p>You nod before thanking Erin and telling her you’ll be right there. You suppose it’s for the best, but you can’t help but loathe whoever it is who decided to call you right now. You sigh as you look to Billie who’s moving toward you with a smile. She reaches out to straighten your hair before biting her lip to hold back a laugh.</p><p>“Duty calls?”</p><p>You nod before looking to the carrier full of cats that you’d completely forgotten about. You take a deep breath before closing your eyes. You need to calm down and get back to work. This must be why no one has make out sessions at work. It completely ruins your concentration.</p><p>“Looks like it. You’ll let me know if you have any questions?”</p><p>Billie Dean nodded before she leaned over to grab the carrier. Bit meowed while the kittens snored away and you smiled as Billie reached for the doorknob on the other side of the room.</p><p>“Of course. Thank you for seeing us so last minute.”</p><p>You smile before holding the door open for Billie so she could use both hands to get the carrier through without hitting the door frame.</p><p>“I’ll talk to you later then.”</p><p>Billie nodded before she promised to call you tonight. You lean in quickly to plant a brief kiss on her lips before waving goodbye to the kittens.</p><p>“See you next time, kittens.”</p><p>Billie looks like she wants to say something but instead she just nods before taking a couple of steps away. She turns to leave and you do too before Billie’s voice draws your attention back to her.</p><p>“Oh and Dr. Y/L/N?”</p><p>You ignore how her saying your name like that makes you feel as you shoot her a smile. “Yes, Ms. Howard?”</p><p>She smiles widely at this but doesn’t comment as she looks around her briefly before speaking.</p><p>“Make sure to wear your hair down for the rest of the day.” </p><p>Billie only has time to see you reach for your neck before she’s heading for the front desk. She has a feeling she’ll pay for that later, but she’s hoping it will be worth it. She loves having something to look forward to.</p><p>Erin had been working as an assistant for a few years. Since graduating from undergrad and wanting to gain experience before applying to veterinary school, she’s enjoyed most every minute that she’d worked at this hospital.</p><p>She’d seen a lot of assistants come and go, some she liked, some she didn’t. The doctors were all the same since she started except for the newest addition to the team. You had joined right after the hospital had finished construction to add more exam rooms. It was one of the larger practices around and they saw close to 50,000 clients, so they were always busy. There was never a dull moment, so Erin had learned to take advantage of the scant down time that she had at work.</p><p>She had finished putting in the charges for you and now she was just waiting around in pharmacy. A couple other assistants were sitting outside for lunch and had offered to watch Milo, so Erin didn’t have anything to do. She doubted that you needed anything else, but she wanted to be around in case you did, so she sat at the computer closest to where you were still talking to Billie about the kittens.</p><p>At least that’s what she thought you were talking about.</p><p>At some point she hears something that could definitely be considered flirting and Erin blushes slightly. She hadn’t gotten confirmation from you about your relationship with Billie Dean, but no confirmation was confirmation enough honestly. She’d read a few things written by reporters who speculated wildly despite only have minimal evidence.</p><p>Erin didn’t really care either way, well that wasn’t true. She would be thrilled because she was a huge fan of Billie’s but it wouldn’t really change anything for her. She might ask for an autograph but other than that she wouldn’t do anything different. She liked working with you and even though she was pretty sure you were making out with Billie Dean Howard behind closed doors, she didn’t see this changing.</p><p>Erin was relieved when the phone rang and she hurried to answer it. She wasn’t as excited about having to interrupt whatever it was you were doing, but the emergency hospital had a question about a mutual patient. When you finally came to pick up the phone, you were a little more put together than when she’d come knocking. Erin pretended not to notice and decided to go check on Milo.</p><p>Milo’s head turned at the sound of the door opening and another person coming outside. He ran over to her, tennis ball in his mouth before sitting down with a whine. He dropped it in front of her expecting her to pick it up and throw it again. Luckily for him, Erin did and he took off across the yard for it.</p><p>Erin sighed as she sat down next to the other two assistants who weren’t her favorite. She got along with them fine, but they had different views and opinions on certain people that made being anything other than  coworkers unlikely.</p><p>“How was the famous Billie Dean?”</p><p>Erin looked back toward Milo so they wouldn’t see her roll your eyes as she shrugged. She mentioned how the appointment was pretty standard. The only thing out of the norm was Mickey being a little lame. Erin didn’t notice either of them nod or exchange a look as she threw the ball again for Milo. He took off, nearly falling in his rush to follow the ball, and Erin had to stifle a laugh as he tripped up.</p><p>“Did you get an autograph? I’m sure Dr. Y/L/N wouldn’t mind.”</p><p>At this Erin turns to the pair so they can see her glare and her huff of annoyance. They weren’t exactly subtle with their jealousy, but she didn’t want to get in the middle of that.</p><p>“No, that would have been weird.”</p><p>Neither of them gets a chance to respond to this before one of the kennel staff comes out and says that they need to walk a dog aggressive-dog. Erin takes that as her opportunity to leave, and she calls Milo over before taking him back inside. She doesn’t look back as she leads the shepherd into the building and back to his kennel. Afternoon appointments were going to start showing up any minute.</p><p>It’s almost 6:30 when Erin has to talk to either of those assistants again. She needed help getting samples on a cat at the end of the day. It’s actually past closing time, but this cat is sick and Dr. Hahn wanted bloodwork on it. It’s a very angry cat and it takes three assistants to restrain it and draw blood.</p><p>You are finished working for today and on your way downstairs when you hear the angry yowl. You decide to go around treatment to get to Milo and not get in the middle of whatever is going on.  You grab Milo and sneak out to the parking lot. It’s dark already and you sigh as you buckle Milo in the back seat and get in. You stifle a yawn as you start the drive home, but you only make it half way there before your phone dings. You ignore it for now because it’s just a text message, and you still suck at driving in LA.</p><p>You make it home and take Milo on a quick walk before heading upstairs. You drop your things by the door, not caring about the mess before you head to the kitchen for dinner. Milo’s already fed so you let him go off on his own for a while as you figure out what to eat.</p><p>You pull your phone out of your pocket before looking at the message Billie sent. Of course it was Billie. You’re smiling before you can stop yourself, and it only grows when you see it’s a picture of Mickey. His body is scrunched up and he’s got the most disgusted look on his face.</p><p>
  <em>He doesn’t like his medicine.</em>
</p><p>You laugh as you respond while trying to pull things out of the fridge. You nearly drop something, but you catch it last minute before you place it all on the counter. Milo appears behind you and you nearly trip on him as you turn suddenly to grab a pan.</p><p>“Jeez, Milo watch out!”</p><p>Your dog just pants happily as he follows you around while you cook. You ignore him for the most part as he eventually sits down while you stand at the stove. You yawn again before jumping at the sound of your phone buzzing again. It nearly falls off the counter, but you grab it just in time to see another couple of messages from Billie.</p><p>
  <em>How was the rest of your day? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you kept your hair down</em>
</p><p>Just like that you felt your face flush. You cursed Billie’s ability to have this effect on you when she wasn’t even here as you sighed in defeat. Surprisingly you’d managed to focus for the rest of the day on work and not think about what you and Billie had done earlier today. Of course now that you were home alone you could easily feel yourself getting hot just thinking about it.</p><p>You shake your head before you drop food on the ground without realizing it. You’re glad that it’s not something toxic to Milo because he dives for it before you even turn to see what it was. You just sigh before going back to your food and trying not to think too much into this.</p><p>
  <em>I think I did, not that it mattered. Erin definitely knows what happened.</em>
</p><p>Billie looked at this message, laughing as she pictured the look on the assistant’s face as she came into the exam room. She definitely had.</p><p>Billie lights another cigarette as she thinks about how to respond to this. She honestly didn’t care if anyone knew about them at this point. With all of the stories in the tabloids, what was really the point of hiding it? Maybe you weren’t ready to go public. She’d understand that and wait as long as you needed. However, if you were okay with telling people, maybe they should do that sooner rather than later.</p><p>That didn’t mean that they should make out at your work again though.</p><p>Billie decided to bring this up the next time she saw you. Considering the fact that she didn’t get a lot of work done today, she wasn’t sure if she’d have time to see you tomorrow. She’d like to because well to be honest the tension between the two of you was driving her up the wall. She took a drag before deciding that she was going to make it work. It was going to be Friday after all. She was going to work hard and then have some time to relax. If you were available and willing of course.</p><p>Once you’re finished making your dinner you call Billie to check on Mickey. Also to just talk to her, but Mickey’s a good excuse. For some reason you feel like you needed one.</p><p>“So you never told me how the rest of your day was.”</p><p>You smile as you tell her about how it wasn’t that eventful. You didn’t get home until just now and you were exhausted. You had to work tomorrow and this weekend and you were really not looking forward to it. Mostly because you wanted to spend more time with Milo and Billie, but you weren’t going to say that now.</p><p>“How about you? Did you manage to get anything done, or were you worried about Mickey?”</p><p>Billie Dean sighs as she puts out her cigarette. She hears Bit coming down the stairs and has a feeling she needs to go check on the kittens. She stands up and starts to walk up the stairs as she replies with a shake of her head.</p><p>“No, unfortunately. I tried to, but he kept distracting me. He seems to be better though.”</p><p>You smile at this news as you shoot Milo a warning look. He can’t get on the couch while you’re eating or else he will be the one eating and you’ll be tackling him to the ground to get your fork out of his mouth. He’s eaten far too many plastic utensils for you to be lenient with him now.  </p><p>“That’s good at least. Are you going to check on them now?”</p><p> You could hear the sound of Billie’s heels on the stairs, but you were only really guessing. She smiled as she reached the top and headed toward the laundry room. She heard quiet mewls and arrived to see a pile of kittens wiggling around in their bed.</p><p>“Yes, Bit just came downstairs and Mickey’s at the bottom of the pile. Dammit.”</p><p>You try not to laugh because this is a bad thing, but hearing Billie curse and sigh in annoyance as she probably moves to rescue Mickey is something you wish you could see. You wait patiently as you hear little mewls and chitters from the kittens as they’re disturbed. You take this opportunity to finish eating and you put the phone on the table in front of you with another yawn.</p><p>“Are you tired?”</p><p>You start slightly wondering how Billie heard you before shaking your head. You realize she can’t see you and you hurry to pick up your phone, abandoning your plate on the table. Milo looks to it, but you don’t notice as you respond to Billie.</p><p>“A little. It was a long day.”</p><p>Billie hums in acknowledgement as she grabs Mickey and takes him back downstairs just as Bit is returning. She shoots her a glare muttering a dirty word under her breath before leaving the laundry room. She hears you laugh, but decided to go back to what you were talking about.</p><p>“It wasn’t all bad though?”</p><p>Billie had only really been asking about after she left. She was genuinely curious about your day, but when she hears you laugh, she realized what her question sounded like.</p><p>“Not at all. I had a very nice lunch.”</p><p>You lean back against the couch again and look up at the ceiling as you consider what you’re doing. You’re sure that if you don’t have Billie’s hands on you again soon you’ll go crazy. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, but as quietly as you can.</p><p>“Is that right?”</p><p>You have to resist the urge to smile as you hear Billie’s teasing voice come through the phone. You can’t for the life of you remember what you ate for lunch, but that wasn’t the nice part of it and you both know it.</p><p>“Definitely, but then someone came in with her kittens and interrupted it.”</p><p>You bite your lip to stop from laughing. You can practically see the look of astonishment on Billie’s face and you can’t wait to see it in person. You hear Billie take a deep breath, maybe she’s smoking, you can’t tell before she speaks.</p><p>“Be careful, Y/N. You don’t want to say something you’ll regret.”</p><p>You can only smile because despite the chill that runs up your spine, it’s much less intimidating to be on the phone with Billie talking like this. If she was in front of you, you were convinced you’d already be on your knees. You try not to think about that too much before you simply try your luck. You’re feeling a little braver than usual, and it shows when you chuckle under your breath instead of apologizing immediately.</p><p>“Is that right?”</p><p>You mimic her words feeling a rush of adrenaline wash over you as you open your eyes again. You don’t have to wait but for a second before Billie’s laughing as well, but it’s not teasing like yours. It sounds more threatening and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t making you shiver in the best of ways.</p><p>“Just wait until I get my hands on you again. You won’t be laughing then, sweetheart.”</p><p>You suck in a breath as you sit up suddenly. You shift in your seat as you prepare to respond, but you stop cold when the sight in front of you registers.</p><p>“No! Bad Milo! Drop it!”</p><p>Milo was trying to sneak the rest of your dinner while you weren’t paying attention, but you don’t realize it until he’s hovering over your plate. You reach out for it only for him to get there first and knock it off the table in his rush to get the food. The plate crashes to the ground spilling food all over the place and you yell again when Milo just runs off with whatever he managed to get.</p><p>“Milo! You little shit!”</p><p>You groan as you look to the mess that he left before getting on your knees to clean it up. You are reaching for the plate when you hear Billie’s voice from somewhere. Where did your phone go?</p><p>“Is everything okay, Y/N? What’s going on?”</p><p>You sigh as you reach in between the couch cushions for your phone before putting it to your ear with a huff of annoyance.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine. Milo just stole food and made a mess.”</p><p>You start to clean again, your phone pressed between your ear and shoulder. You decide to try and pretend like the interruption didn’t happen as you speak up with a smile.</p><p>“That sounds like an invitation by the way.”</p><p>Billie’s laughing at your persistence or rather your dedication to getting what you want. What you both want. She reaches for her drink since she can’t smoke right now and takes a long sip to buy time. Or increase the tension. She’s honestly not sure which any more.</p><p>“It was, if you’re interested.”</p><p>You nearly laugh but instead just drop what’s in your hands on the table in front of you before grabbing your phone. You’ll deal with Milo and his mess later. For now, you have plans to make.</p><p>“Always. Your place or mine?”</p><p>
  <em>Next time we see whose place is chosen.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So here is a break from the death. Just a little dog fluff, annoying people, and flowers and lube as promised.  Thanks for reading 😊</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>The next day at work you feel like you’re floating you’re so happy. Everything is going well so far with appointments, and you’ve seen at least three happy, healthy puppies today. Not even the reporter waiting for you outside your building this morning could bring your mood down. You and Milo had just waltzed right by them to your car because you were determined to make it through this day unscathed. At least up until you went to Billie’s house.</p><p>The two of you had decided that you should come over because then Billie wouldn’t have to worry about the cats being left with the sitter. You felt bad for Heather who always seemed to be watching them, and Billie most likely wouldn’t be able to see you until after dinner time. The teen probably had better things to do than watch kittens all night. Even though they were adorable.</p><p>Speaking of cats, you look to your schedule and see that it’s changed a little. You take a minute to review the new client’s information before running up to your desk to finish up some notes while you had the chance. They should be here soon if they were in fact on time.</p><p>Claire smiles as she arrives at the clinic with her cat. She shuts the door behind her after grabbing the meowing cat in the back seat. She had specifically taken the day off so she could get her cat’s vaccines updated. Fridays were ideal because they were usually the busiest at the pet store. That’s why she’d picked today. She didn’t want to work. She also had wanted to make sure you’d be here, and that she could schedule an appointment with you. That was the real reason why Claire had taken today off of work.</p><p>She hadn’t seen you since running into you and Milo at that bar and that was too long for her liking. That meeting hadn’t gone the way she’d wanted so she was going to try again. She also had never gotten the chance to see you in your element, and she was way too excited for this opportunity today.</p><p>As Claire walked in through the front door, she immediately looked around for you, but came up empty. She turned to the blonde at the front desk with a half-smile.</p><p>“Hi, I’m here with Jonesy. I have an appointment with Dr. Y/L/N.”</p><p>You had never bothered to learn Claire’s last name. However, after being harassed by the brunette numerous times, you’d think that you’d want to have that sort of information. Unfortunately, you realize your mistake too late, and you walk into the exam room with Claire and her cat only to be completely blindsided. Dammit.</p><p>You barely hold back the urge to groan as you allow your professional persona to take over. You stomp down your personal feelings toward the brunette for probably the umpteenth time since you’d met her.</p><p>“Hi, Claire. Good to see you.”</p><p>For fuck’s sake. You had to stop saying that to her.</p><p>The exam went pretty well. Claire’s cat was a little shit for some of it, but he wasn’t the worst you’ve had to deal with. You’re at the point where you just need to get samples on him, but you have a feeling that you’ll need a little help. At the end of the exam, Jonesy got a little feisty and not too keen with being poked. For this reason, you asked the assistant helping you, Maria to go get another person to lend a hand, but Claire spoke up before she could leave. They exchange an uncomfortable look before you manage to cut the tension by smiling and effectively shutting Claire down.</p><p>“Don’t think you can handle little old Jonesy, Dr. Y/L/N?”</p><p>Maria’s jaw drops and you remind yourself to be a professional as you just laugh slightly instead of rolling your eyes.</p><p>“Not at all. I just want to make sure that no one gets hurt and that Jonesy is as least stressed as possible.”</p><p>Jonesy was very stressed. He hadn’t wanted any of the baby food that was offered and it took two holders wrapping him in a towel to keep him still. You pulled his blood easily enough, despite him having old cat veins that were practically non-existent, but there was no way in hell you were going to be able to get pee on him with how he was squirming.</p><p>As you did your job, you pretended not to notice Claire’s eyes on you. It was unsettling to say the least, but you weren’t going to call her out on it and let your assistants know that you’re tense. Well, you were all tense because Jonesy was getting pissed off.</p><p>You finish up quickly and pull out the needle from Jonesy’s leg, but you have to hold it for a moment to make sure his blood clots. That’s when he claws you with the nails you hadn’t gotten around to trimming yet. Maria had lifted her hand off of his leg like she was supposed to, and Jonesy took that opportunity to claw the shit out of your hand.</p><p>“Oww, okay! Let. Go.”</p><p>You pull Jonesy’s nail out of the back of your hand as carefully as possible before dropping his foot back onto the table. You used the towel wrapped around him to wipe up the blood that was already pooling before you go to grab the nail trimmers.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>You nod before grabbing the first paw with dagger-like nails. Jonesy of course hates it, but you finish quickly enough and manage to get out of there before Claire says anything too inappropriate. First thing you do is go to treatment and grab some gauze and disinfectant to put on your cut. It was still bleeding and you hiss in pain as you scrub it clean. This one is going to hurt like a bitch for a while.</p><p>Once done you wave your hand to dry it off before returning to pharmacy. You are about to start writing up Jonesy’s note when Maria comes out of the room you’d just been in with an uncertain look.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N.  She has another question for you.”</p><p>You hold in your sigh before you nod and head back into the exam room. Hopefully this goes quickly.</p><p>Billie Dean was on lunch when you texted her about Claire. She had been working non-stop since she arrived to the studio at 6 this morning. She was ready for a break long enough to finish a cigarette because she was long overdue for one. She was grateful that Michelle had gotten her lunch and had it waiting for her once she finished her most recent episode. She only had one left to get to, and she was excited to be done. Even though it would definitely take the rest of the day.</p><p>After re-recording was done for the season, she was going back on television and radio to promote it. The thought made Billie exhausted, but she had to admit it would be nice to leave this studio for the next one. She had a television interview scheduled for next week, and she had already decided to talk to you about it beforehand.</p><p>There was no doubt in Billie Dean’s mind that the interviewer would ask her about her relationship with Y/N. She couldn’t just sit there and dodge it, well she could, but it would be too obvious. She needed to figure out where you both stood with your relationship. It was something she’d have to mention tonight when you came over.</p><p>Billie had to stop herself from smiling at the thought of what tonight would bring. You had agreed to come over, and you had even offered to cook. Billie wasn’t very good in the kitchen despite learning a couple of your favorite dishes, but she knew how much you loved cooking. You had practically begged her to let you make her dinner, and of course she’d said yes. How could she have said no to that?</p><p>She was eager to see what you made and was certain that the image of you cooking in her kitchen would be enough to get her through the rest of the day.</p><p>Billie sighed as she put out her cigarette before grabbing her phone out of her purse. She ignored the emails and immediately looked to your messages. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she reread the texts a couple of times.</p><p>Even after doing that, she still had no idea what you were talking about.</p><p>You were angrily texting Billie in your office when Erin came upstairs to give you your stethoscope.  You’d left it downstairs in your hurry to go vent to Billie and you hadn’t even realized it. You didn’t hear her because you were muttering darkly under your breath, and you nearly fell out of your chair when she spoke up.</p><p>“Damn, annoying persistent little--.”</p><p>“Uh…Dr. Y/L/N?”</p><p>Your feet hit the ground fast as you spun around in your chair to see Erin standing in your doorway with your stethoscope in hand. You smile before laughing awkwardly and reaching out for it. You see Erin look to your phone before shooting you a concerned look.</p><p>“Oh, thank you!”</p><p>“Everything okay, doc?”</p><p>You nod despite the fact that you’re lying. You are annoyed at Claire for reasons you can’t really work out, but it’s enough to tick you off. You were having such a good day, and then she had to come in here and trap you in a room with her. She didn’t really have any questions for you, at least ones related to Jonesy. You try not to think about those same annoying questions before you shrug and decide to tell a little bit of the truth.</p><p>“Yeah, I just saw a client who I’ve had not so fun encounters with before.”</p><p>This piques Erin’s curiosity and she can’t help but ask who you just saw. You mention her name and how she works at a pet store you go to, and Erin practically jumps at this.</p><p>“Wait, is she brunette and kind of lanky?”</p><p>You open your mouth to reply, but don’t want to be unnecessarily mean so you just shrug noncommittally.</p><p>“Possibly?”</p><p>Erin groans as she moves a little closer so she can whisper and not be overheard. You are a little surprised by what the brunette says but you figure you shouldn’t be. She has pets too after all, and she is the one who told you about the store in the first place.</p><p>“Oh my god. She is the worst. She’s always there when I go get something for Dex and she-.”</p><p>Erin trails off as she looks to you uncertainly before deciding that you should probably know. She was really hoping that what she had to tell you didn’t surprise you. If you were annoyed with her it was very likely that you were well aware of Claire’s creepy tendencies.</p><p>“She always asks about you, but I promise I don’t tell her anything!”</p><p>Despite the chill you feel travel up your spine at the thought of Claire being that creepy, you smile at Erin. You’re grateful that she can tell when someone’s being a creep, and that she’s smart enough to not give them anything they could use against her. It’s also nice to know that she has your back when it matters.</p><p>“Thank you for that. She’s always just a little too pushy.”</p><p>Erin frowns a this before nodding to herself and you. She decides that she was going to have to run interference if this Claire showed up again. She leaves you alone after that to go back to work, and you almost forgot that you’d texted Billie when your phone beeps. You jump slightly in surprise before looking to what she wrote.</p><p>
  <em>Who is it that’s bothering you? One of your coworkers?</em>
</p><p>You look back to the messages you sent to her as if you’d forgotten and cringe at how you let Claire rile you up this much.</p><p>
  <em>This bitch won’t leave me alone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her cat’s a little shit too. </em>
</p><p>Okay, so maybe this had been a little unnecessary. Sure Claire was kind of a bitch and annoying, but you probably shouldn’t have said this. She just wouldn’t leave you alone no matter what you did, and now she was showing up at your work? Next thing you knew she’d be showing up at your damn front door.</p><p>The part about her cat was true though. He was a little shit.</p><p>You type a response before returning to your records. You write up the last details for Claire’s cat, you’d been waiting until everything else was done before doing that, before heading downstairs. It’s almost 1:30, so you only have about half an hour until your next appointment. You take the steps two at a time going down on your way to the kennels. You see Milo sleeping and smile as he jumps up at the sound of the door opening.</p><p>“Hey, Milo. Want to go out?”</p><p>He nearly knocks you over in his excitement to get out. You curse before grabbing onto Milo’s harness to lead him outside. As soon as you reach the yard and make sure it is empty, you release Milo and watch him run away. He pees here and there before coming back to jump on the bench that you were sitting on. You sighed before standing up and grabbing a frisbee and holding it up with a smile.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p>Milo runs after the frisbee until he’s exhausted and panting ten minutes later. He’s lying in the grass with the frisbee near his mouth because he still had to hold onto it so you wouldn’t take it from him. You walk over to him because you figure he needs to go inside for some water, but Milo grabs the frisbee when he sees you coming. He runs away despite still panting and you sigh as you watch your dog run around with his frisbee. You decide it’s a lost cause and leave him to play with it for a minute as you run inside really quickly to grab something.</p><p> You nearly run into Erin on your way inside, but you stop just in time before shooting her an apologetic look.</p><p>“Sorry, Erin.”</p><p>She waves you off before glancing outside. “Milo out there?”</p><p>You just nod and she asks if she can take the twins out there. The ‘twins’ are two golden retrievers that are boarding for about a month while their home is under construction. They’re super sweet like most goldens and Milo loves them. You smile before nodding and continuing on your way into the clinic. You don’t make it very far before you’re stopped again.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N!”</p><p>You turn at the sound of someone calling your name. One of the receptionists is holding a large arrangement of flowers that almost completely hides their face. You smile about to ask who they were for before she hands them to you.</p><p>“For you. Do you want me to put them in your office?”</p><p>You shoot her a confused look and it takes you a second to respond. You eventually shake you head before reaching out to take them from her. You thank her before watching as she heads back up front before you look to the flowers again.</p><p>They’re beautiful and bright and they smell wonderful. The arrangement is a mix of roses, lilies and a couple other flowers you didn’t know the name of. You were halfway up the stairs before you attempted to look for a card. It was hidden and you couldn’t pull it from the flowers easily. You set the vase down on your desk before freeing the card from the petals and flipping it over to read what was written.</p><p>
  <em>Can’t wait to see you tonight. </em>
</p><p>Billie Dean.</p><p>You smile at the note before tucking it away somewhere safe. You were touched that Billie would surprise you like this and you couldn’t wait for tonight either.</p><p> It was going to be different from any of your previous dates. You were going to cook because you had been wanting to since you found out how much take-out Billie ate, and it was going to be at her house so you could see the kittens. You were only a little nervous about going over to Billie’s house again, but you were determined not to make it a big deal.</p><p>It had only been a few weeks since you met, but you hadn’t felt like how you did with Billie, with anyone else. Certainly not with your horrible exes. Billie Dean made you feel comfortable in a way that no one else ever had. She was different. Obviously because she was a medium, but honestly that wasn’t the difference that mattered to you. You hadn’t been lucky enough to be with someone that was as considerate and understanding as Billie. She never faulted you for your awkward and depressing past, and she was busier than you were so the sporadic texts and the even more sporadic dates didn’t upset her like you feared it would.</p><p>You’re pulled from your thoughts by the sound of yet someone else calling your name. This time however it was more frantic than you were expecting and you hurried out of your office. You’re met at the stairs by a slightly panicked Lindsey who must have been on lunch because she still had half of it in her hand.</p><p>“What’s is it? Is something wrong?”</p><p>Lindsey just hurries back down the stairs and opens the door to treatment. You follow her without question as she nods and fills you in on what’s going on.</p><p>“Milo was playing with the twins and he got stuck in the fence chasing the frisbee.”</p><p>You have to hold in your groan of disbelief because of course your overzealous and slightly impulsive dog would do this. You just mutter an okay under your breath before heading back out into the yard where you see Erin and Mina standing beside your screaming dog. He’s thrashing and trying to pull himself out, but he’s pretty stuck and really must have been running full speed.</p><p>You run over to the trio to try and calm Milo down because it seems like he really is stuck. You crouch down next to him on his right before reaching out for the panicked shepherd.</p><p>“Hey! Milo, hey, hi. It’s me, you’re okay. Shh, it’s okay, buddy.”</p><p>You reach through the bars of fence to pet Milo’s head and he calms enough for you not to be worried about him injuring himself further. You look him over quickly and don’t see any blood immediately, but then you reach his head and you see some dripping from his nose. You sigh in frustration as you try to figure out what the best thing to do is.</p><p>“Could you run inside and get a couple of towels and some lube?”</p><p>You figure that’s the best thing to get him out of this jam and you watch as both Erin and Mina leave, the latter leading the twins inside so they don’t get in the way. You turn back to your dog who is still panting in either exertion or stress, you’re not sure, and you do your best to keep him calm while you wait for your supplies.</p><p>“It’s okay Milo. You’re alright. We’re going to get you out, okay?”</p><p>Milo just whines before he turns to lick your hand that had been scratching his neck. You realize that you should probably take off his harness if you hope to slide him back through the fence, but you only get it halfway off before it becomes stuck.</p><p>“Dammit.”</p><p>Erin returns first and she stands back a little not sure if you want help before she speaks up.</p><p>“Anything I can do?”</p><p>You nod before motioning for the brunette to come closer so you can show her what you’re trying to do. If you pull on his harness while Erin pushes him away from the fence post a bit you might be able to get it off. You explain this and Erin just nods before moving to put her hands on Milo.</p><p>“Sorry buddy.”</p><p>It works but Milo yelps as you do it, so you decide to leave the other side be. Maybe you can slide him forward enough on the other side and figure it out from there. He was trapped from just behind his shoulders with most of his body still inside the yard, so maybe you could just pull him back in. When Mina arrives with the towels and what looks like all of the lube in the hospital, you relay the plan and put on the gloves that Mina luckily had the foresight to bring.</p><p>“Okay, Milo. We’re going to put this on you and try to slide you out alright?”</p><p>You know that he’s not going to respond or even really comprehend what you’re saying, but you know that hearing your voice will calm him down. He’s always been anxious when having things done to him and this was going to be worse due to the fact that he’s already highly stressed before anything has even begun.</p><p>You start to rub some of the lube on his right shoulder through the fence while Mina and Erin take his left side. Milo turns as they talk to him too, but is unable to see and growls as they touch him.</p><p>“Hey, Milo, stop that. They’re just trying to help you, okay?”</p><p>You try to keep going, you even move one of your hands to his left side but it doesn’t help. Milo just gets antsier and he’s growling louder before you realize it’s not working. You can’t be mad at him for being scared. He doesn’t know what’s going on and he can’t see them so he’s distrustful.</p><p>You make the decision to switch sides with them so he can see them and just hear you on his blind side. You berate yourself for not doing this initially because Milo immediately calms down and his tail starts to wag as you scratch him between his shoulder blades.</p><p>“Good boy, Milo. Almost done okay?”</p><p>Now that Mio is sufficiently lubed, you try and slide him back through the bars. You manipulate one of his legs forward to try and slide him backwards but he’s still too wide. You instruct Erin and Mina to do the same and Milo’s legs are stretched out as far forward as they can go before you try again. You have to readjust as Erin moves to pull him from behind, and you breathe a sigh of relief as Milo finally slides back into the yard. You hold onto him as his head whips around to see who’s at his rear end, and you look at his nose carefully before taking his harness off completely. You try to wipe off some of the lube with the towels, but it’s no use. Milo’s too excited about being freed and he’s already shaking it everywhere anyway.</p><p>“Look at you Milo. You’re a mess, huh? You need a bath.”</p><p>He just licks your face and you groan in annoyance before thanking both of your helpers. You scratch your dog behind his ears for another few seconds before you stand up and motion for him to follow you.</p><p>“No more frisbee for a while, okay?”</p><p>It turns out that Milo’s a little sorer than anticipated and after his bath he yelps when you reach underneath him to pick him up. You try again more carefully before just letting him jump up on you. You regret this immediately once all 70+ lbs of him is in your arms, but you put him down quickly as he shakes all of the water off of him. You groan in disgust before covering him with a towel and attempting to dry him off.</p><p>He whines when you put him in the kennel with the blow dryer, but you have to get to your appointment. You’ll check on him afterwards, but for now you have to go see a dog about some skin issues.</p><p>“I’ll be back Milo. Be good.”</p><p>It’s 4 before you are able to take the time to examine Milo again. You are in between appointments when you pull him out of his kennel and bring him into treatment. You brush him out because he looks like a mess and as you’re doing that you notice he’s a little sensitive along his ribs. Not that you’re shocked. He’d forced himself through a damn hole he shouldn’t have been able to fit through.</p><p>You listened to him and didn’t find anything else wrong and decided to just give him a little something for the pain that would be worse tomorrow. Your next appointment arrives as you are finishing up with him but is taking you a minute to get Milo to take his pill. He’s always been horrible about taking medication.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N. Billy’s here.”</p><p>You’re a little confused by this and you turn to Erin with a frown. You’re currently holding open Milo’s mouth to try and shove this pill down his throat when you realize what she means. Billy. The cat with arthritis.</p><p>“Right okay, what’s going on with him?”</p><p>Billie Dean checks her phone again once she’s done with work. She hasn’t heard from you yet which makes her think you’re still working. It’s nearly 6:30 which is a little late for you, but she decides to just head home and get things ready.</p><p>Other than taking care of the kittens and making sure there were clean dishes for you two to use, she didn’t have much she could do. You had refused to tell her what you were cooking and had insisted on shopping yourself. Billie was already in the car when her phone rang. She answers it without looking to see who it is because she’s driving, but she doesn’t have to wonder long.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi! Billie I’m so sorry for not calling you sooner! Things got crazy here. Milo got stuck in a fence, a dog came in after getting hit by a car, but thank you so much! The flowers are beautiful!”</p><p>Billie chuckles under her breath at your flustered state, but then she registers everything that you said and she frowns in concern.</p><p>“I’m glad you liked them, Y/N. Did you say that Milo got stuck in a fence? Is he okay?”</p><p>You turned around to glance in the back seat briefly to see him fast asleep. He was exhausted from his exciting day and probably would sleep the rest of the night.</p><p>“Yeah, he was having too much fun with some friends and a frisbee and ended up halfway through an iron fence.”</p><p>Billie shakes her head at the image this conjures up and she sighs as she turns into her driveway.</p><p>“Aw poor baby.”</p><p>You laugh at this before pulling up to your apartment building. You still had to go shopping to get groceries, but you had to make sure that Milo was situated first. You weren’t sure how long you would be gone and were a little stressed by this, but you would figure it out.</p><p>“Yeah, he had a rough day.”</p><p>You both were silent as you turn off your cars and consider what to say next. You were trying to figure out how much time you needed to take care of Milo and shop before you could head over to Billie’s. Billie was trying to figure out things for Milo as well, but you hadn’t even considered what she suggested.</p><p>“How was your day?”</p><p>“Do you want to bring him?”</p><p>You both speak at the same time and it takes you a second to realize what she’s said. You shake your head as you turn around to see Milo still out cold. You hoped you wouldn’t have to carry him. Again.</p><p>“No, it’s okay. I’ll just get him set up here before heading to the store.”</p><p>Billie’s already out of her car by the time she responds. She doesn’t mind either way, but she has a feeling she knows what you want to do. Not to mention, she supposes that the kittens need to be socialized and Bit possibly scared obedient. As if that would ever work.</p><p>“Would you feel better if you brought him?”</p><p>You don’t answer immediately which is honestly the only answer that Billie needs. You’re thinking about how you would love to bring him along because you’d be able to watch him and you could see how Milo would act around the kittens. You had always wanted a cat, and you supposed now was as good a time as any to see how it might work. Or not. As long as Billie didn’t mind.</p><p>Eventually you answer and Billie has to force herself not to smile smugly at how well she knew you already.</p><p>“I guess. I don’t want you to feel obligated though. I can’t exactly promise that he won’t get hair everywhere!”</p><p>You jump out of your car quickly before opening the back door startling Milo awake. He sits up quickly and you reach into the back seat and unbuckle him before grabbing his leash. He jumped to the ground a little more carefully than he usually would before you hear Billie reply.</p><p>“I want you to do whatever you need, Y/N. I’m fine either way. You know I adore Milo.”</p><p>You smile at this as you look to your dog who is yawning as you walk to the elevator. You suppose that you can take him with you. He might actually enjoy it. You just had to make sure he behaved and didn’t hurt any of the kittens. Billie said this before you got a chance to and you laugh as you nod in agreement.</p><p>“We’ll just have to see how he plays along with the kittens.”</p><p>You follow Milo into the elevator before leaning against the wall with a sigh. You suppose it’s decided then.  You feel your excitement for tonight increasing again, now that you know Milo won’t be home alone. You just smile as the doors close and you take a deep breath.</p><p>“We will. I’ll feed him and then be over in about an hour. Does that work?”</p><p>Billie’s nodding before she greets Heather who is with Mickey in the living room.</p><p>“I’ll see you both then.”</p><p>
  <em>Next time you and Milo <strong>actually </strong>get to her house lol</em>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally dinner time! Thank you for sticking with this! Just FYI that the next chapters will definitely take longer. Classes start tomorrow! As always, enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You and Milo arrive at Billie’s a little before 8pm. You took him shopping with you because you didn’t want to waste time going back and forth. He just slept in the back seat while you practically ran up and down the aisles to get back to him. Of course, in your hurry, you forget something and have to run back inside. Milo didn’t seem to notice because he was still exhausted from the exciting day and his pain meds.</p><p>You lead Milo out of the car and to the front door, grocery bags on one arm, Milo’s leash wrapped around the other. You take a deep breath before ringing the doorbell and taking a small step back. You look down at your clothes that you’d grabbed after your shower and you were regretting your choice. You were going to be sweating by the time you finished making dinner.</p><p>You hear the faint sound of heels tapping against the hardwoods a few seconds later. You smile at the idea of seeing Billie after so long. Well at least it felt like a long time. Milo looks up too with his tail wagging as he prepares to explore a new place.</p><p>When Billie opens the door, she smiles at the sight of you and Milo looking cute as always. You’re fully loaded up with grocery bags, your dog, and flowers that you’re already handing to Billie with a shy smile. She smiles wider as she takes them from you with an appreciative smile, smelling them as she moves out of the way so you can step inside.</p><p>“For you. I know it’s kind of cheesy, and not as cool as what you gave me, but I saw them and thought of you.”</p><p>Billie’s appreciation just grows at your explanation of the roses that you’d brought her. As you walk through the front door, Billie tries to take some bags from you, but you hold them away from her with a smile. You just take off your shoes and Milo’s leash before telling him to stay as you move some things to your free hand.  You follow Billie through the house into the kitchen where you place all of the bags on the counter. You watch as Billie moves to find something to put the flowers in.</p><p>“You’re too sweet. I love them.”</p><p>You smile as you look behind you for Milo. You realize that you told him to stay and you call for him before turning back to Billie. You take a closer look at the medium as she’s pulling out a vase from one of the cabinets.</p><p>She’s wearing a white lace dress with her signature pearls, and upon closer look you realize that her dress is covered in flowers.  </p><p>“How do you always look so good?”</p><p>Billie’s response is to chuckle before she walks back over to you. She puts the vase and flowers down carefully before taking a good look at you. It makes you want to squirm, but you resist somehow before she’s meeting your gaze again with a smirk. You always look cute, but tonight she finds you irresistible. She says this to you, but before you can respond or rather argue, she’s leaning in to silence you with a kiss. You can’t find it in you to really care and you kiss back. When you break away, you’re smiling as you look around the kitchen while Billie puts the roses in the vase.</p><p>The kitchen is nice. You saw it the last time you were here, but you don’t remember it very well. You hadn’t exactly been paying attention to interior design the last time you were here. You quickly steer clear of those thoughts and hurry to turn back to Billie as you take off your coat and get to work on cooking.</p><p>“How was your day? Did you finish recording?”</p><p>Billie nodded as she finished up with the flowers before heading toward the fridge for drinks. She watched as Milo wandered around the living room nose to the ground as he went. She placed a bottle of wine she’d picked up for tonight on the counter near you before responding.</p><p>“We’re all done. The only thing left now is promotional interviews. Wine?”</p><p>You consider what Billie’s saying before you nod in agreement. You’re much more relaxed than the last time you were here, but you wouldn’t mind a little alcohol. You thank her as she pours you a glass before handing it to you.</p><p>“That’s great news. Congratulations.”</p><p>You keep an eye on Milo as you get everything together to start cooking. You practically ordered Billie to sit down and smiled when she just rolled her eyes and muttered a ‘yes ma’am’ under her breath. You could get used to bossing Billie Dean around, but you don’t dwell on that dangerous thought before you start chopping up the ingredients.</p><p>The way Billie’s kitchen was set up, you could stand by the stove and cook and be able to look up and see the blonde watching you. It made you feel nervous, but you focused on your conversation and the food. You’d made this dish dozens of times before.</p><p>“How are the kittens doing?”</p><p>You had to ask because well it was your job and two, you were surprised to not see at least Bit yet. A brief look to Milo reminded you that maybe she was staying away for a reason. You look back to Billie just in time to see her smiling as she thinks about how her gang of kittens is growing.</p><p>She still hasn’t named any of the others, and she probably wouldn’t at this point. She didn’t want to get any more attached to them than she already was because she couldn’t keep them all. She mostly just called them little one and mister (for the couple she decided were boys). She tells you this and you laugh before shaking your head.</p><p>“You have at least two boys, including Mickey.”</p><p>You say this with a shrug because you really can’t tell yet. Everything is so small it’s just guesswork. Billie knows this, but she also likes guessing with you based on what you’ve both observed. They were all developing their own personalities and it was adorable to watch them all interact. Bit mostly just supervised and she was spending more time away from the kittens now that they were on solid food and formula.</p><p>Billie briefly tells you about how that’s going before Milo walks into the kitchen to stand next to you. You don’t notice him immediately and you nearly trip on him when you move to grab your drink. He isn’t allowed to stand in the kitchen at home, but he often breaks that rule. You try to enforce that now see if you have any luck.</p><p>“Milo, no. Go sit over there.”</p><p>You point toward the edge of the kitchen, close to where Billie’s sitting and Milo just looks at you with his big eyes and whines. You stare at him and he stares back before you sigh in defeat. If you had been looking, you would have noticed Billie smirk at the fact that you were such a softy for your dog. You decide to try one more time and luckily Milo listens.</p><p>“Milo, go say hi to Billie. Say thank you for letting you visit.”</p><p>Milo finally retreats with a wag of his tail to go greet the medium. Billie just smiles as she holds out her hand for him to sniff before she pets him. He starts to pant after Billie begins scratching his ears and you laugh before speaking up.</p><p>“Thank you by the way. For letting me bring him.”</p><p>Billie just smiles before looking down to Milo’s tongue sticking out of his mouth as he pants happily. “It’s no problem at all. He’s sweet.”</p><p>You smile at this not having to agree with her before you finish up chopping the onions.</p><p>“So... a fence? Has he done anything like this before?”  </p><p>Billie’s question makes you groan before you admit that Milo has always been a little over enthusiastic at times. He forgets commonsense in the face of his favorite toys, specifically frisbees and any type of ball. A couple times when he was younger, he had run into multiple trees trying to chase down an errant tennis ball.</p><p>“It’s not his fault. He’s just so…”</p><p>“Eager?”</p><p>You nod before looking back over to Milo who was now lying at Billie’s feet. You smile before you reach out for the next thing to cut. You don’t notice Billie frown as she sees the long scratch on the back of your hand.</p><p>“How’d that happen?”</p><p>You look up to see what Billie’s talking about, and you follow her gaze to your hand. You laugh slightly before you mention the cat and by association, the owner that you saw today.</p><p>“Oh, it was that cat I told you about. His owner’s the one who was bothering me.”</p><p>Billie’s frown deepens at this and she raises an eyebrow in question as she recalls what you’d told her this afternoon.</p><p>“The one you called a bitch? I thought you said it was fine?”</p><p>You pause, your silence deafening before you eventually try and shrug it off. You hadn’t counted on explaining the Claire situation to Billie Dean. You honestly had hoped that she wouldn’t ask about it because you didn’t want to explain why you couldn’t get someone who was barely drinking age to leave you alone.</p><p>“It was fine after she left, yeah.”</p><p>You sigh at your stupid answer before looking to Billie to see if maybe, just maybe it worked. The way that she’s eying you makes you realize that no, it did not work.</p><p>“What is it about her that bothers you?”</p><p>You sigh again before you look away from her briefly to try and locate a pan to start cooking in. You don’t want to just start opening things randomly so you ask, hoping to change the subject.</p><p>“She’s just very…suggestive. Where are your pans?”</p><p>Billie looks at you for a second before she gestures to the cupboards behind you. You find one and then a spatula with her instruction before you hurry to keep yourself busy. You don’t see Billie try to put together your meaning as you remind yourself of the recipe you knew by heart.</p><p>“Suggesting what, exactly?”</p><p>You try not to curse yourself, or look like you’re cursing yourself as you look back to Billie who’s watching you intently. She has a cigarette in her hand which she got from somewhere, but it’s not lit yet. She’s just holding it between her fingers, twirling it as she waits for your answer.</p><p>“Y/N?”</p><p>Whoops. You’d been staring longer than you thought when you manage to break your gaze away and back to Billie’s face. You don’t notice the slight worry in her eyes as you shrug again, but give a more acceptable answer this time.</p><p>“She just flirts with me all of the time, but I tell her no because well I don’t like her, she’s too young for me and well. You know…”</p><p>You trail off as you look Billie up and down again as if to make a point. Billie doesn’t say anything immediately. She just sighs as she puts down the cigarette that she was never going to light. She reached for it before remembering that Milo was here. She didn’t know if you’d want him around the smoke.</p><p>Finally, Billie nods before mentioning what she’d planned on waiting to discuss until at least dinner.</p><p>“Well, I guess that’s a good segue way to what I wanted to talk about tonight.”</p><p>You can’t help but stiffen at the way Billie says this. It doesn’t sound like good news. It sounds serious and you don’t like that. Billie must notice because she moves to stand up and walk over to where you’re becoming increasingly more anxious.</p><p>“Don’t worry, dear. It’s nothing bad. I was going to wait until dinner to mention it.”</p><p>You nod before mentioning that it will be done in about 15 minutes. You move to go grab ingredients for the next part, but Billie stops you. She’s holding your hand, and you instinctually squeeze hers before looking to her nervously.</p><p>“Y/N, it’s really not bad news. I just wanted to talk about an interview I have next week.”</p><p>You just nod as you think about what this means. You find your thoughts interrupted again when you feel Billie’s lips on your cheek.</p><p>“Trust me.”</p><p>It’s not a question but you nod because you do trust Billie. You trust her a lot and you allow your faith in this trust and her reassuring smile to calm you down.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Billie smiles before kissing you one more time, this time at the corner of your mouth. She sees your cheeks darken and smirks at her success before she moves closer to you.</p><p>“So, how can I help?”</p><p>Bit doesn’t show up until you and Billie are sitting down to eat. You nearly trip on her before you see her tail disappear under the table. You look around for Milo who of course is sniffing around for her, but you stop him.</p><p>“Milo, wait! Don’t eat Bit, please.”</p><p>Billie turns when you say this and watches as you hold Milo back. She looks around for Bit before grabbing the cat from underneath the table. She protests of course with a loud meow that catches Milo’s attention. His head tilts to the side as he looks at the cat. You hold him back but let him sniff Bit from a distance. She hisses and Billie lowers her to the floor and watches as she runs away. You loosen your hold on Milo and he just turns his attention to your food instead.</p><p>He’s’ clearly more interested in your food, so you just tell him to sit in the other room when you and Billie sit down again.</p><p>“That could have gone worse.”</p><p>Billie just laughs as she nods in agreement. She’s honestly surprised that Milo didn’t really pay much attention to Bit. She would have thought that he’d try and chase after her, but then again if he goes to work with you every day he must be used to seeing cats. She asks this and watches as you go to nod but then change your mind last minute.</p><p>“Ah, I mean it depends. He’s very food motivated, but he also likes chasing rabbits. I don’t know if cats are the same, but as long as we have food to keep him here it should be fine.”</p><p>You both look to Milo who is just staring at the two of you, or rather your food. You just roll your eyes before shrugging and hopefully doing a better job of reassuring Billie.</p><p>“He’ll be fine. I promise.”</p><p>It’s almost half an hour before Billie brings up the interview again. She’s enjoying your company and doesn’t want to make you worried or ruin the mood by getting too serious. You had just been telling her about your high school graduation party, after a lot of coaxing, and she could tell you were still a little embarrassed. She didn’t want to make that worse.</p><p>“Is something wrong?”</p><p>Billie looks up in surprise at your question and then at the fact that you ‘re shooting her a worried look. She must not have been hiding her feelings as well as she’d hoped to. Billie just shakes her head before she smiles at you. You finish up your food as you watch her carefully, hoping that she’s not about to lie to you.</p><p>“Nothing’s wrong. I was just going to ask you something.”</p><p>You do your best to not show how tense you immediately become and just smile before nodding in response.</p><p>“Okay, what’s your question?”</p><p>Billie takes a second to look around the room before answering. Milo is sleeping and Bit has not come downstairs since her brief forced meeting with the dog. She sighs before looking back to where you’re waiting for her to ask whatever is on her mind. Billie tells you about the interview she has next week and how she’s kind of looking forward to it. She’s worked hard on this season and wanted to do it justice by making sure the word got out. Eventually she mentions what she expects to be asked.</p><p>“Since it is very likely that they will ask me about us, I wanted to ask you what I should say.”</p><p>You frown slightly as you consider this. You’d only been thinking about where this relationship was going and how long it would be just between the two of you since you met the medium. However, now you weren’t sure what to say. You wanted to say that you’d love for people to know. Well maybe not because with this came a lot more harassment, at least you assumed so. You really just meant that you’d love for people to know that you were lucky enough to be with Billie Dean Howard.</p><p>Sometimes you still wondered how this even happened to you.</p><p>You don’t realize how long you stay silent until you hear Billie sigh. You look just in time to see her frown disappear before you open your mouth to say something, anything that won’t make her think that you’re not ready for this. You are and you plan on telling her that, but Billie beats you to it.</p><p>“I don’t mean to put this all on you. I just wanted to make sure that you were, um sure about well--.”</p><p>Billie trails off as she becomes uncharacteristically flustered. She’s beginning to think that she’s jumped the gun and made you uncomfortable by bringing up the nature of your relationship too soon. Hell, it had only been a few weeks since she met you. Even though it felt like longer, Billie knew that it had been a very short time to have such a discussion. If she weren’t in the public eye, she doubted that they’d talk about this any time soon.</p><p>You came to Billie’s rescue after watching her second guess herself. You smiled and couldn’t help but feel a little surprised by the fact that Billie was stumbling over her words. Normally calm and collected Billie was worried.</p><p>“It’s okay. I know what you mean, and I’m sure if you are. I don’t mind people knowing how lucky I am.”</p><p>Billie nearly rolls her eyes at this but something catches her attention. She listens for a second before she’s leaning back in her chair and waiting for Bit to appear.</p><p>“You’re such a charmer, Y/N. I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one.”</p><p>You smile widely but you’re prepared to argue when you hear a soft thud behind you. You miss Billie standing up as you turn to see that Bit is leaving a kitten that she’d just placed behind you. You frown as you watch Mickey squirm and react to his rude awakening.</p><p>“Bit, you little…”</p><p>You turn back to see that Billie’s already walking past you to retrieve the kitten. You’re about to stand up when you spot Milo out of the corner of your eye. He’s yawning cavernously before he sniffs the air around him. He looks up and sees Mickey lying in the middle of the floor in front of him and he’s already on his feet to investigate. He doesn’t make it before Billie swoops in and picks him up to check on him.</p><p>“Milo, sit down.”</p><p>Milo doesn’t listen immediately; he’s standing at Billie’s feet staring at the kitten in her hands. You reach out to get his attention and he turns as you scratch his head before sitting down. His tail is wagging but you don’t pay him any mind as you get to your feet to sneak a peek at the kitten.</p><p>“How is he?”</p><p>Billie just sighs before shrugging as she mentions how not much has changed since you saw him yesterday. He still hated his medicine, but luckily he took it without much struggle. He was spending more time away from his siblings when possible and he actually didn’t even sleep with them last night. You frown in confusion but don’t get a chance to ask before Billie explains with a slightly guilty expression.</p><p>“Well, I was worried about him being squished, so I let him sleep with me.”</p><p>You try to imagine how this worked without Mickey being in danger, but you weren’t as subtle as you thought and Billie just laughed.</p><p>“I had him wrapped up in his own bed on the ground. I didn’t want to risk him falling.”</p><p>You nod in approval as you think about this, and then you smile at the sight of Mickey on his back with his little legs outstretched. He looked completely at home in Billie’s arms and you loved it.</p><p>“Oh my gosh, I can’t get over how cute he is.”</p><p>Billie smiles as she watches you fawn over Mickey before turning to Milo. He was still focused on Mickey from where he sits beside you. You eventually notice where Billie is looking and you turn to Milo too before speaking up.</p><p>“Oh, Milo. Right. I can make him leave, if you’re worried he’ll-.”</p><p>Billie cuts you off with a shake of her head as she smiles before turning a little so Milo can get a good look at Mickey who is still sleeping. He perks up a little and his tail starts wagging faster as he stands up and moves forward to sniff the kitten. You grab his harness in case you need to pull him away quickly, but he just whines as he tries to get closer to Mickey.</p><p>“Milo, no, wait.”</p><p>You’re relieved when he sits back down and just shifts impatiently while Billie shifts Mickey so he’s in her hands. She holds him in front of Milo and you’re not super stressed at all as your dog leans forward to inspect the still-unaware Mickey.</p><p>When Milo just licks him once before turning to you to be let go you nearly sigh in relief. You loosen your grip on him to see what he plans to do, but Milo just turns away and heads to the table that you’ve abandoned in search of food. You hurry to grab him and steer him away from the table as Billie laughs at your dog’s lack of interest in Mickey. She decides that she needs to run him upstairs and put him back to bed. It’s getting late after all.</p><p>“I’m going to take him back upstairs, don’t touch anything. I’m cleaning.”</p><p>You stop short of picking up your plate as Billie says this and you turn to see her shooting you a serious look. You can’t help but argue, your damn need to clean up after yourself temporarily overriding your desire to just listen to whatever Billie tells you to do. You watch her start up the stairs before you manage to speak.</p><p>“But, I—you cooked I don’t mind! I like cleaning!”</p><p>This is kind of a lie, but it doesn’t matter anyway because when Billie turns around on the stairs and shoots you a look you give up. You just nod before deciding that you’re not going to risk disobeying. Milo paws at you and you realize that you have something else to do anyway.</p><p>“Don’t touch, I’m serious, Y/N.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll just go…walk Milo really quick.”</p><p>You see Billie smile before she disappears and you just turn to Milo before heading toward the front door.</p><p>“Come on Milo. Walk.”</p><p>Of course he jumps up and runs to the door to grab his leash. You slip on your shoes before reaching for the doorknob. You pause as you think about the likelihood that you’d been followed here. You ignore Milo’s whines as you decide that it doesn’t matter. You’re serious about not feeling the need to hide anymore. Still you take a deep breath before you open the door and let Milo go out first. You look around quickly before just following Milo wherever he wants to go.</p><p>Billie Dean sighed as she watched Mickey get situated next to his siblings and Bit. Bit was grooming herself and not paying her any mind as she tried to figure out what to do next. She usually shut them in here for the night, but she didn’t want to do that yet, She hadn’t even medicated Mickey yet which of course she had remembered after getting him settled. She decided to go ahead and do that now since it was almost late enough.</p><p>It was nearing 11pm and although she knew that you had work tomorrow, she was trying to figure out how to drag this evening out. Billie had been thinking about how tonight would end ever since you agreed to come over. Honestly she’d been thinking about it for much longer than that, but she would never admit it. She didn’t want to rush you, but she definitely was ready to take the next step with you<em>. </em>Whatever that was.</p><p>Billie goes back downstairs and heads for the refrigerator to grab Mickey’s meds. Once she has them, she heads back upstairs and sneaks into the laundry room. She picks Mickey up again smiling sympathetically as he mewls at being disturbed before giving him his medication slowly. His face scrunches up and he makes a noise that is somewhere between a hiss and a whine and Billie’s heart melts. She kisses his head before putting him back with the other kittens. She is grateful that she only has to give this to him a few more times.</p><p>When Billie gets back downstairs, she grabs some of the dishes on the table and brings them to the kitchen. She is glad that you insisted on cleaning as you both cooked because now there were only a few things to clean up. Billie is still washing dishes when you and Milo come back. She doesn’t hear the door shut and she’s humming under her breath when you sneak up on her.</p><p>“Hey, did you know that--.”</p><p>You trail off when you see Billie jump and drop a fork in the sink. You open your mouth to apologize, but the medium is spinning around to shoot you a bewildered look.</p><p>“Y/N! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”</p><p>You raise your hands in surrender before attempting an apology. You smile slightly as you watch Billie shut off the faucet without looking away from you.</p><p>“I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to sneak. I thought you heard me.”</p><p>It took Billie a few seconds to calm her racing heart, but once she saw your smile and flushed face her fear melts away. She sighed before she reached into the sink to grab the fork she dropped. She places it in the dishwasher before closing it and turning back to face you.</p><p>“You’re lucky I didn’t stab you.”</p><p>You just laugh before you reach out for her with a questioning look. Billie just sighs again before letting you pull her into a hug. You’re cold to the touch from being outside, but she only holds you closer as she starts rubbing her hands up and down your arms to warm you up.</p><p>“You’re so cold. How far did you go?”</p><p>You smile as you pull away slightly to look around for your dog. He’s sitting on the carpet again in the living room and you roll your eyes as you mention your little adventure around Billie’s neighborhood. She listens as you tell her about walking down toward the end of the street and then being dragged toward one of the biggest houses you’d ever seen. There had been a party going on apparently and the smell of food was all Milo needed to decide he wanted to go that way.</p><p>“I had to drag him back here, so now he’s mad at me.”</p><p>Billie laughs at this before she pulls you back towards her while you’re sneaking another peek at Milo who’s now licking his paws. You’re a little surprised and you let out a sound that makes Billie smirk as she shoots you a questioning look.</p><p>“You’re sure about this, Y/N? You’re okay with telling the greater LA area about us?”</p><p>You can’t help but laugh at this, not even thinking about how many people this includes as you nod in agreement. You don’t really care about any of that at the moment and Billie seems to realize this as you move your hands up to her shoulders. Since Billie’s taller than you, especially with her heels, you have to stand on your tiptoes to reach her lips. You feel Billie smile at this, but you ignore it as you hold on to her tighter.</p><p>Billie responds by digging her nails into your hips as she pushes you back against the counter. You groan and retaliate by tangling your hand in the medium’s hair and pulling. You can’t help but smile in victory as she hisses against your lips. However, Billie doesn’t let this bit of smugness slide, and she pushes her hips against yours as she kisses you harder.</p><p>You moan and roll your hips against Billie’s as her tongue slides against yours. She kisses you until you feel like your knees are going to buckle, but she pulls away before that can happen. That said, Billie’s mouth on your neck didn’t make you feel any more stable. You curse under your breath shivering as Billie’s nails scrape against your neck when she moves your hair. Now that it’s out of the way, Billie’s path down your neck was long and torturous. You didn’t realize that your grip on the medium’s hair had become painful until she hisses and bites down on your pulse point.</p><p>“I know you like my hair, but you’re going to pull it out if you’re not careful, dear.”</p><p>You let go of Billie’s hair like it burnt you before you apologize. You feel your face flush slightly at the fact that Billie of course knew you were obsessed with her hair. You weren’t exactly subtle, and her hair was just—you’d kill for it. You didn’t get far with your apology before Billie cut you off with a look that effectively shut you up.</p><p>“Oh god. I’m sorry, I was just--.”</p><p>“Y/N. You don’t have to apologize. I liked it, just maybe a little bit less.”</p><p>You blush harder before just nodding in agreement. You look back up to Billie to kiss her again, but you instead find yourself being lifted onto the counter. Your eyes widen as you look around for a split second to regain your bearings. You let out an impressed noise as you smile at Billie who is looking awfully smug. You choose not to comment on this for now and lean back in to meet her lips, but again you’re stopped. You barely hold back the annoyed whine when you see Billie moving away and turning to something else completely.</p><p>“What-?”</p><p>You turn to where Billie’s looking and immediately move to get off the counter. Milo’s moving towards you but he’s staring at Billie in a way that puts you on edge. It’s a little embarrassing and you don’t want to explain it, but you can’t just write this off. Can you? You sigh as you step around Billie to redirect Milo back to the living room. It’s not his fault that he’s so protective of you. He doesn’t know the difference between what your ex had done and what Billie just did.</p><p>“Hey, Milo. No, it’s fine. Go sit.”</p><p>You’re relieved that he listens to you and seems to relax as you scratch him behind his ears. He wags his tail before circling once and sitting back down on the rug. He’s still able to see you which makes you a little nervous, but you don’t get to say this before Billie speaks.</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>Now Billie’s never had a dog before, but she knows enough about their body language to realize what had just happened. She just wasn’t sure why. Milo hadn’t been anything but sweet and well-trained around her, but this was something completely different. This wasn’t something that just happened unprovoked.</p><p>Billie looks to you to see you smiling slightly, nervously. You don’t want to tell more than you have to at the moment. So you just nod and try not to blush too hard.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s fine. He just…didn’t know what we were doing.”</p><p>Billie watches you blush but doesn’t comment on it. She’s not sure she believes all of what you’re saying, but she doesn’t bring it up. She can tell how tense you already are, and she knows that she has nothing to do with it. She wants to continue what she’d just started, but she didn’t want to just pretend like this didn’t happen. She wanted you to make the choice.</p><p>“Well should we leave him be and take this somewhere else?”</p><p>You feel your heart start to race at the question and the possibilities. Of course. You want to say that, but you look back to Milo before trying not to sound too obvious.</p><p>“Is it okay for Milo to stay here? Any chocolate or onions lying around?”</p><p>Billie laughs before she shakes her head and takes a quick look around the room. She doesn’t spot anything that sticks out. She doesn’t have a lot of clutter around her house because she’s not really around long enough to accumulate it. She decides that things are safe enough down here, and the cats will be fine upstairs.</p><p>“Nothing of the sort. He should be fine.”</p><p>You nod before you reach out to grab Billie’s offered hand with a smile. You say goodbye to Milo watching as he just wags his tail before you follow Billie upstairs. You can already feel your heart rate begin to pick up again as you reach the top. You thought you hid your nerves well, but you should have known better. After all, Billie was very good at picking up on different energies. This thought reminds you of something you’d been meaning to ask her since it occurred to you during dinner.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>You say her name as you follow her into her bedroom. It’s dark so you can’t really see anything but a bed in the middle. The room is illuminated when a lamp is switched on and you take a moment to glance around. It’s as tidy as you thought it would be and just from standing in it for five seconds you can tell it’s distinctly Billie. The way the room is decorated and the faint but familiar perfume lingering in the air has you smiling. You don’t realize you’re being watched until you hear Billie laugh.</p><p>“See something you like?”</p><p>You nearly laugh at this but instead just walk towards the blonde who’s already sitting on the bed. You shrug as you sit down next to her with a grin.</p><p>“Nothing more than you, Billie Dean.”</p><p>This makes Billie smile and you turn to her so when she reaches out for you, you’re already moving towards her. Your lips meet again and you quickly pick up where you left off downstairs. Your fingers are tangled in Billie’s hair and you gently tug her forward so you can feel her against you again. You groan as Billie practically pulls you into her lap before her hands fall to your hips. It isn’t until you feel Billie’s hands move between the two of you and to your shirt that you pull away.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>You watch anxiously as Billie’s hands stop moving and she shoots you a concerned look. You’re tense again and she’s not sure what to make of it. She has her suspicions but she doesn’t say any of them as she waits for you to talk to her.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>You shift slightly but don’t dare move as you sigh before looking to Billie with a frown.</p><p>“I have a potentially mood-killing question.”</p><p>Billie had been expecting you to ask something related to what you were doing. She knows you mentioned having an ex, but she didn’t know how far you may or may not have gotten with her. This is the last thing on Billie’s mind when you finally gather the courage to ask your question.</p><p>“Is he here?”</p><p>Billie frowns in confusion and her mouth is already opening to ask ‘who’ when it dawns on her. She feels you tense even more as you look around the room quickly. She sighs before she shakes her head. She’s telling the truth because she knew that the moment you got here that it was just you and Milo. She says this to you and expects you to visibly relax, but you don’t. You sigh before shaking your head at the nerve-wracking thought that keeps plaguing you.</p><p>“No, Y/N. He’s not. He hasn’t been all night.”<br/>
“You’re sure?”</p><p>Billie nods again before her hand comes up to your cheek. You sigh as you lean into her touch before frowning again.</p><p>“I’m sorry I had to ask. I’m just—still having trouble understanding this.”</p><p>Billie can only nod because she’s not sure how you’re dealing with what she’d told you. You hadn’t mentioned it since that first time and she didn’t want to push you. So the subject of your father had been tabled for now. Billie watches as you fail to come up with something to say.</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize, Y/N. This isn’t something that makes a lot of sense.”</p><p>You nod in agreement before doing your best to calm down. You focus on Billie’s touch again and move as close to her as possible. Her hand drops to your waist as you pull her into a hug. She frowns as she struggles to form a response. She doesn’t make it before you pull away with a smile.</p><p>“Thank you for understanding.”</p><p>You lean in and kiss her in thanks, but you get a little carried away. You’re very conscious of the fact that you’re surrounded by Billie, her touch, taste, her smell, and you can’t help but want more. You’ve only been waiting to have Billie Dean like this since your little encounter at work.</p><p>Just the thought of it makes you feel hotter and you shift impatiently on top of Billie. She can tell you’re getting worked up again and pulls away before things can go too far. She waits until she has your attention before asking.</p><p>“Are you sure you want to do this tonight, Y/N? We don’t have to.”</p><p>Your frown disappears and you sigh before nodding in answer. You’re very sure that you don’t want to wait anymore. You know that she doesn’t want to either, but she’s also more aware of your other emotions. You don’t want to think about those right now. You have the answer you needed to be comfortable enough to do this tonight, and you really, really want to do this tonight. Billie being so sweet and listening to you worry just makes the idea of waiting harder.</p><p>You nod again before kissing Billie once in thanks. You’re still so surprised by how Billie’s always so thoughtful and you appreciate that more than you can put into words. You just aren’t used to having someone take care of you like she does. You try to say this, but fall short as you squeeze her hand that’s still at your waist.</p><p>“Yes, I’m sure. You’re sweet, but I’ve been thinking about this too long to wait, Billie.”</p><p>Your smile turns into a smirk as you see Billie’s eyes widen slightly at your words. You hold back a laugh as the medium just nods before leaning in to kiss you once, twice.</p><p>“You’ll tell me if you change your mind?”</p><p>You just nod before meeting her lips again in an insistent kiss to tell her that you’re certain this is what you want. You feel her hands tug at your shirt again and you groan as she shoots you a smile.</p><p>“Okay, well let’s get this off of you, sweetheart.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hi! So from here on out it will be M. There are definitely M-rated things discussed here, so keep that in mind…  Thanks for reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You’re woken up around 3 in the morning when Billie returns to bed. You don’t react immediately because you are exhausted and can barely open your eyes enough to see the medium settle back in beside you. You grumble something under your breath that is barely coherent.</p><p>“’s everythin’ okay?”</p><p>Billie just smiles as she gets underneath the covers and nods in answer. Not that you see it.</p><p>“Yes, I was just checking on the kittens and Milo.”</p><p>You nod before you hum in answer. You’re too tired to form any words so instead you just shift closer to Billie. You’re freezing because you don’t have your standard three blankets in bed with you, but you’re not going to complain about the substitute. You sigh as arms wrap around you and you’re pulled closer to the warm body you’d spent the night learning. The thought makes you smile and because of how you’re lying against her, Billie sees it immediately.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>You hear the amusement in her voice and that makes you smile wider, but you don’t say anything. There’s too much on your mind, and it’s too much to say for so early in the morning so you wait. You just shake your head before moving impossibly closer in an attempt to get more comfortable. You stifle a yawn as you close your eyes again to go back to sleep.</p><p>Billie just smiles and decides to wait until morning, or rather later this morning to talk about whatever is on your mind. She sighs as she closes her eyes as well. She had gone to check on the kittens and Milo, and everyone was fine, but she’d also had a cigarette. She usually did after nights like these, but she hadn’t wanted to wake you up with the smell. She was feeling a little more relaxed already though. She just couldn’t resist the cravings sometimes, and she always craved one after sex.</p><p>Billie falls asleep thinking of the next time she’ll get to see you like that. The thought of you falling apart beneath her makes her smirk, and she holds you a little tighter as she succumbs to sleep.</p><p>The next time you wake up you’re feeling a little more human. You yawn as you roll over to see that the sun is shining and that Billie is still asleep next to you. You smile before you look around for your phone to check and see what time it is.</p><p>“Good morning.”</p><p>You turn back from your search through your clothes to see Billie watching you. You resist the urge to blush as you finally find you phone underneath your pants. You switch it on absentmindedly as you move back to the bed to plant a quick kiss on Billie’s lips.</p><p>“Good morning. How long have you been up?”</p><p>She shrugs as you pull away before mentioning that she woke up not long after you. She smiles as she takes in your appearance. You are wonderfully underdressed and your bedhead is as messy as she’d imagined it. You nod at her response before glancing down at your phone only to curse.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Oh shit! It’s already 7:15!”</p><p>It takes Billie a minute to wonder why you’re freaking out, but then she remembers that you work today. She watches as you frantically get dressed before getting up herself. She figures that once she checks on the cats, she can help you by feeding and walking Milo. She gets dressed too before watching as you look around the room before spotting the bathroom.</p><p>“Can I use your bathroom to-uh wash up?”</p><p>Billie just nods and watches you disappear into the bathroom. She hears the water start running before she finishes getting dressed and leaves to check on the kittens. As she walks down the hall, she takes a moment to appreciate how sore she is. Her back aches more than she thought it would, but she can’t find it in her to care. Billie’s still smiling at the memories of last night when she pushes the laundry room door open.</p><p>She didn’t realized that it wasn’t all the way closed until she goes to look at the kittens. Bit is curled up around them and everything seems fine. Billie gets on her knees to take a closer look at the sea of fur and immediately sighs in defeat.</p><p>Where was Mickey?</p><p>You’re doing your best to hurry as you try to clean up. You’re annoyingly sore and are moving slower as a result, but damn it you’d do it all over again. In fact, you really wanted to and you mentally kick yourself for not saying something to this effect to Billie sooner. However, after realizing that you were probably going to be late to work, not to mention wearing the same clothes as yesterday, you just panicked.</p><p>You’re still panicking a little as you finish up and head out into the bedroom. You couldn’t find a brush so you’re running your fingers through your hair quickly when you hear Billie call you.</p><p>“Y/N!”</p><p>You hurry out of the room and toward the sound of Billie’s voice. She sounds worried and it isn’t until you find her standing on the stairs that you realize why. You look between her and Milo who is just in the living room licking his paws.</p><p>“What? What’s wrong?”</p><p>Billie doesn’t say anything immediately as she stares at Milo, but when you start down the stairs her voice makes you turn back to her.</p><p>“I think Milo has Mickey.”</p><p>You see how Billie is still tense as she follows you down the stairs and you look back to Milo before putting it together. Oh.</p><p>You hurry down the stairs but then slow when Milo sees you. He’s not licking his paws like you originally thought. He’s licking Mickey who is somehow down here with him. You weren’t sure if Milo had gone upstairs or if Mickey had been dropped off by Bit at some point.</p><p>Figuring this out wasn’t important though. The first thing you needed to do was get Mickey back. You smile as you greet your dog watching as he starts to wag his tail.</p><p>“Hi Milo! Do you want to go on a walk?”</p><p>Milo’s tail wags harder but he doesn’t get up like he usually would. You keep walking closer until Milo’s tail slows and he’s eyeing you carefully. You’re not sure where Billie is, but hopefully she’s stopped moving as well. You think about sitting down, but then remember you may not be as quick to get up as you usually are. Instead, you keep smiling before looking to Mickey to try and see how he’s doing.</p><p>“Who’s your friend? Did you go upstairs to get Mickey?”</p><p>Milo doesn’t answer of course, but he goes back to licking the kitten again. You hear it mewl and you breathe a sigh of relief. Okay, so he’s alive. That’s a good start.</p><p>“Can I see your friend?”</p><p>Milo just keeps licking Mickey, but he watches you out of the corner of his eye as you move closer. You finally decide to sit down and have to hold in a groan when your sore muscles protest.</p><p>You carefully reach out to pet Milo and he stops what he’s doing to look at you. You scratch Milo behind his ear before moving a little closer. Milo doesn’t respond except to wag his tail and you feel a little optimistic, but still refuse to rush things.</p><p>You’re not sure how Milo will react to you just taking Mickey. If you had to guess, Bit dropped him off down here and Milo took it upon himself to watch over him. He’d clearly been interested in the kitten last night, but his desire for food had won out. Now he had a new friend, hopefully not toy, and didn’t want to give him up.</p><p>This is what you told yourself as you looked back to Mickey and held out a hand to Milo so he could see it.</p><p>“Will you let me see him? Can I have him, Milo?”</p><p> Milo just sniffs your hand before looking back down to Mickey. You actually sigh in relief when Milo just pushes Mickey towards you with his nose. You reach out for him quickly after that, your hand not leaving Milo as you scratch him with a smile.</p><p>“Good boy, Milo. Thank you.”</p><p>He just wags his tail as you stand up and hand Mickey to Billie who as you expected was standing right behind you. You watch as she takes him and immediately looks him over. He’s warm and a little wet from Milo’s tongue but he seems fine. He’s sleepy and probably a little annoyed about being taken from his warm furry friend.</p><p>“Thank god.”</p><p>You nod in agreement before apologizing. You feel like this is your fault. You should have known better than to leave Milo unattended with a house full of kittens.</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left him here alone. I didn’t think he’d go after any of them.”</p><p>Billie just sighs after she reassures herself that Mickey is fine before shaking her head. She doesn’t blame you for this. She was the one who probably forgot to shut the door this morning after checking on them. Still her heart rate is just slowing after the stress of not knowing what to expect. Milo was clearly a good guard dog, but luckily he was smart enough to know who he could trust with his people. For the most part.</p><p>“It’s okay it was my fault, and he’s fine. Milo’s a good boy, hmm?”</p><p>Billie’s looking to Milo who is now standing right beside you. His tail is wagging and he’s panting as he just watches the two of you. He also knows that it’s past his breakfast time.</p><p>“Do you need any help getting ready for work?”</p><p>Billie’s question reminds you that you’re running late and you jump into action. You shake your head before mentioning that you need to walk Milo, but you’ll probably just feed him at work since you don’t have any of his food with you. You also definitely need to run home and shower and change clothes. You will definitely be late for work though if you don’t leave right now.</p><p>That said, you really don’t want to and even after you’ve grabbed Milo’s leash and your keys you don’t hurry to leave. You turn to Billie who is just standing by with an amused look. You sigh ignoring Milo’s whines as you walk back toward Billie with a smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry I have to leave so quickly. I had an amazing time.”</p><p>Billie merely smiles as she leans in to kiss you, and you sigh as you feel your resolve crack. You would love nothing more than to just spend the day with Billie here, or wherever she wanted. Unfortunately, you had work in about 40 minutes, and you were most definitely going to be late.</p><p>“I did too, Y/N, we’ll have to do it again sometime.”</p><p>You smile widely at your ridiculous words coming out of Billie’s mouth, and you can’t help but kiss her again. It isn’t until Milo barks to get your attention that you realize it’s time to go. You sigh as Billie just looks to Milo before reaching out to scratch him. He’s adorable and Billie’s grateful that he’s such a good dog. However, he’s right and it’s time for the two of you to go. Billie kisses your cheek before pulling back with a smile.</p><p>“You better get going if you don’t want to be late.”</p><p>You know it’s too late for that, but you just smile before nodding in defeat. You grab your coat not bothering to put it on before you attach Milo’s leash to his harness.</p><p>“I’ll see you soon, Billie Dean.”</p><p>You watch as your beautiful girlfriend blushes before you and Milo duck out the front door.</p><p>You were right. You were late for work. Almost 20 minutes late, but luckily you were just in time for the first appointment. You apologized profusely to Dr. Hahn who only laughed and told you that she was glad that she didn’t have to be in two places at once today.</p><p>After racing home and feeding Milo, you’d jumped in the shower and taken the shortest one of your life. Your hair was still soaking by the time you got in the car, but at every stoplight you had a chance to become a little more presentable. You were almost a doctor again by the time you walked into the building with Milo by your side. The only issue was that you’d forgotten your whitecoat at home and the only one you had here was filthy.</p><p>Luckily you didn’t really need it today since your ‘boss’ wasn’t here and she was the only one who insisted you wear it. You run up to your office, a little slower than usual, to grab your stethoscope before you fix your hair as you head back down the hall. You pause as you pass the bathroom, and you do a double take when you see a hickey you’d missed behind your ear in the mirror. You curse before running in and closing the door behind you. You examine the mark and almost groan out loud because damn it now you have to wear your hair down all day.</p><p>You sigh before dropping your hair back to your shoulders and heading out. You nearly run into Mina who was walking by with the drug box and you both almost tumble down the stairs.</p><p>“Woah, watch out, doc.”</p><p>“Sorry, Mina. I’m a little--.”</p><p>What? What were you?</p><p>Well, you knew the answer to that, but you couldn’t exactly tell your technician that you were off your game because you’d spent the better part of last night having mind-numbing sex that also made walking difficult. There was no way she wanted to know all of that. Instead you just sighed before following her down the stairs to get the day started.</p><p>“I get it, Dr. Y/L/N. It’s way too early to be up on a Saturday.”</p><p>You don’t realize how painfully naïve you were until a few minutes before you take your lunch. You had been relieved that the morning appointments weren’t so bad. They were mostly easy problem visits that didn’t take too much time or thought. You’d honestly spent most of the morning thinking about and texting Billie every chance you got.</p><p>It was for this reason that you realized what you and maybe Billie, had overlooked when you’d run out of her house this morning.</p><p>Mason was thrilled. After being demoted, basically fired, for failing to get an exclusive on Billie Dean Howard’s new girlfriend, he’d promised himself that he would be earn his job back. He was determined to get an editor position and he was going to do whatever it took.</p><p>Luckily, it hadn’t taken much to get him what he needed. He just had to follow that vet around for almost a week before she went to Billie’s house last night. He’d been far enough away that he wouldn’t be spotted. He’d parked with a bunch of other cars to blend in and he’d seen Y/N walking her dog again around 11.</p><p>He had mostly just waited around until morning came. All he needed was a shot of you leaving her house in the same clothes, and to give it to his boss. He had gotten that and so much more. Now he had a new office and a job for the next three years if he could continue to get pictures like this.</p><p>The first was the basic walk of shame. Y/N was leaving with her dog in the same clothes she’d arrived in, but looking worse for wear. She looked frazzled, exhausted and thoroughly debauched as she hurried to her car and back home. This would have been enough to get Mason his job back, but he probably wouldn’t have been guaranteed a three-year contract if it weren’t for the video he’d gotten.</p><p>They couldn’t use it of course because he’d crept into the medium’s backyard to take it, but it was enough to show his boss that he was serious. He would do whatever it takes, and with his second chance he was going to figure out how to ruin that vet who cost him his job in the first place.</p><p>Billie’s doing chores around the house when she gets a text message from Michelle. They usually exchange a few over the weekend to discuss the upcoming week, but this isn’t that. She retreats from the noise of the laundry room to check her phone, but she doesn’t get far before she realizes what she’s looking at.</p><p>
  <em>Jeff sent me this. It was released about 10 minutes ago.</em>
</p><p>Billie clicked on the link and wasn’t surprised when it took her to a trashy tabloid that…She scrolled down and saw the title and the picture at the same time.</p><p>
  <em>Medium Billie Dean Howard’s New Flame Takes the Walk of Shame.</em>
</p><p>The picture was taken as Y/N was leaving this morning and Billie groans under her breath at the fact that their luck was this bad. They had agreed to come out during Billie’s interview next week, but this made that just a formality at this point. It was already confirmed, this picture was worth far more than anything Billie could say and she just copied the link and sent it to you in a text.</p><p>You were trying to decide where to go for lunch when Billie’s text came in. You smiled until you recognized one of the tabloids in the URL. You waited for a few seconds hoping to summon the courage to open it before you just clicked on it and closed your eyes.</p><p>It was maybe twenty seconds later that you opened them again and nearly screamed.</p><p>There you were. It was a picture of you and Milo fleeing Billie’s house like it was on fire. You groaned loudly and slammed your head on the desk before you managed to look at it again.</p><p>Well, at least Milo looked good.</p><p>Billie had expected you to call, so her phone ringing a few minutes later wasn’t much of a surprise. She answered immediately and smiled despite the news she’d just shared with you.</p><p>“Hi Y/N.”</p><p>You sigh before you smile in defeat. You can’t bring yourself to be in too bad of a mood after the night you had, so you just spin around in your chair as you ask her the first thing that comes to mind.</p><p>“Hi, Billie. How are you doing?”</p><p>You hear Billie chuckle as she takes a drag before shaking her head at your tone. You don’t seem very bothered by the news, but you had been at work all day and maybe just hadn’t left the building yet, or looked outside.</p><p>“I’m great. How has your morning been so far?”</p><p>You laugh without meaning to and you don’t realize that Billie could have taken it the wrong way until she doesn’t respond immediately.</p><p>“Oh, it’s been great. Not too busy which is good since I’ve been playing catch up since I got here so late.”</p><p>You’re staring at the flowers that you still had sitting on your desk in silence for a few seconds before your words catch up with you. You curse yourself before sitting up and turning away from them with a sigh.</p><p>“Not that I’m complaining. I’d be late everyday if I didn’t, you know, risk losing my job to spend time with you.”</p><p>Billie just smiles before considering what you were saying.  She knew you were a sweet talker, but you had yet to say anything you didn’t mean. She decided to tuck this away for now before focusing on the matter at hand. There wasn’t a lot of time to figure out how to deal with this.</p><p>“It’s okay, Y/N. I know what you meant. I hope you didn’t get in trouble.”</p><p>You smile before shaking your head and telling Billie what the other doctor had told you. You also mention how you’d forgotten your coat in the mad dash for work and that you’re still not able to put your hair up. Billie definitely laughs at this last one, not that she feels guilty. Not one bit.</p><p>“Sorry about that, dear.”</p><p>This time you laugh louder as you roll your eyes in disbelief. You can hear how sorry Billie is from the amused lit in her voice.</p><p>“I bet you are.”</p><p>You allow your mind to wander to when Billie had made those marks and you feel your face heat up. You realize that you’re definitely not regretting that Billie had put them there. You don’t realize that you groan under your breath until you hear Billie chuckle under hers. Your eyes open and you cross your legs as you sit up. The sound of that laugh takes you back to being in Billie’s bedroom, and your heartrate and need spike instantly.</p><p>You shake your head as you try to stop thinking about this, but you don’t do very well because Billie is speaking again. You learned early last night what exactly her voice could do to you.</p><p>“Y/N? Are you still there?”</p><p>You nod before saying the first thing that comes to mind, and honestly you should have just moaned. That would have been less embarrassing you think. You actually smack yourself in the face before you roll your chair closer to your desk so your face is practically in the flowers. The smell distracts you from your mortifying behavior. At least for a little while.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m coming, I mean I’m here! I’m just—ugh. I need a drink.”</p><p>You ignore the sound of Billie laughing heartily through the phone as you bury your face further in to the flowers. They start to poke you in the eyes and you groan again before trying to focus on food. You need to eat lunch after all.</p><p>“Well, I’m sure I can help with that. Just not right now.”</p><p>You feel your face flush even more as you nod in agreement. You definitely can’t do anything about your growing need now. At work. You have to eat lunch and then get back to it. You try to calm yourself down to think this through. Lunch. That’s easy. You’ll get-.</p><p>“Have you looked outside yet?”</p><p>You frown at Billie’s question as it interrupts your thoughts of food. You look out the window that shows very little of the outside that Billie is talking about. It’s sunny. Is that what she meant?</p><p>“Um yes? It’s nice out.”</p><p>Billie almost sighed because clearly you didn’t know what she was talking about. She didn’t want to ruin your day, well any more than she already had, but she wanted to give you a heads up in case she was right about this.</p><p>“No, Y/N. I meant have you checked the parking lot. Are there any reporters out there?”</p><p>Of course, this is what she’d meant. You stand up and walk down the hall to the conference room that has a perfect view of the parking lot. At first you just see the cars you’d expect to see, but then you remember it’s lunchtime. There shouldn’t be that many cars out there. You sigh loudly enough for Billie to hear you before returning to your office.</p><p>“So much for lunch. I guess I should just wait it out?”</p><p>Billie says something in response, but you don’t hear it as someone calls you from downstairs. You sigh before trying to listen for your name again to make sure you aren’t mistaken,</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N?”</p><p>You stand up before telling Billie that you’ll be right back, but someone’s in front of you the moment you leave your office.</p><p>“Sorry, Billie, one second.”</p><p>You nearly step on Erin’s foot as you start down the hallway to see who was calling you. You stopped short and nearly cursed as the brunette shoots you an apologetic look.</p><p>“Sh-.”</p><p>“Sorry! I was just going out to grab lunch, but I wanted to see if you wanted something?”</p><p>You stare at Erin’s anxious expression before you realize that she knows. Well, you knew that she was aware of your relationship on some level, but you hadn’t expected her to know all of it. At least what had happened this morning. It seemed too early for her to know about <em>that, </em>but you supposed it was on the internet. You fight the urge to blush furiously at that possibility before you manage to ask Erin where she’s going. When she promises to get you something you hear a faint voice that reminds you that Billie is still waiting,</p><p>You return to your office and sit down with a sigh. This time you close the door before asking Billie what she’d just said.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what?”</p><p>Billie is smiling as she thinks about the assistant you’d mentioned multiple times. She was glad that someone at work was looking out for you.</p><p>“I was just saying that it was sweet of her to do that.”</p><p>You nod in agreement as you think about how Erin really did just save you from having to either starve or face the cameras. You weren’t ready for that today. You had just committed to publicly confirming your relationship with Billie and you wanted to bask in it for a while before having to deal with the reporters. You wanted to enjoy the peace while it lasted.</p><p>Without your permission your mind wanders back to the events of last night, and you have to sit up and shake your head vigorously to stop those thoughts in their tracks.</p><p>“Um any plans for the rest of the day?”</p><p>Billie smiles as you ask this. She’s currently sitting at the kitchen table looking out at the garden as she smokes another cigarette. This was her third since she’s seen you, and that was a lot considering how she’d cut back because of the cats. She just couldn’t relax any other way right now. Not with you at work.</p><p>“Nothing really, I’m just doing some chores and sitting around.”</p><p>You smile at the thought of Billie sitting around her house with Mickey. You ask her if he’s in her lap, but she says that she left him upstairs with Bit for the time being. You didn’t ask why as she told you exactly what she was doing. She was probably going to check on her garden if she could find the motivation, but right now she was too lost in thought to make herself do it</p><p>You were playing with some of the petals that had fallen off the roses when Billie says this. You ask almost absentmindedly as you sniff them with a sigh.</p><p>“What has you so lost in thought on a Saturday?”</p><p>You don’t realize what you’re asking until Billie doesn’t answer immediately. You hear her take a drag of her cigarette before she responds with a smile. She so loves it when you walk into her carefully laid traps.</p><p>“I was just thinking about what a good girl you were last night.”</p><p>You drop the petals immediately as you stifle the groan that threatens at how Billie says those two words. She knew the effect they had on you, and after last night you couldn’t deny it anymore. You were certain that you’d told Billie exactly what she could get you to do if she asked nicely enough, and the heat rushed unbidden from your cheeks to your core.</p><p>“Billie…”</p><p>You can’t do this right now, at least you know you shouldn’t. However, your traitorous body said otherwise, and you had to clench your thighs together at the thought of Billie between them. You’re too busy imagining the medium’s lithe fingers stroking you to near-madness to hear Billie laugh. It isn’t until she speaks up that you realize your eyes had fallen closed, and they snap open at her blunt response.</p><p>“You’re so cute when you’re so needy.”</p><p>You can’t hold back your groan this time and Billie smiles victoriously as she puts out her cigarette. She’s thinking about the look you probably have on your face, that tortured, desperate, pleading look you got when she’d teased you a little too much. She knew you may not be there yet, but there was still time for that. She smiled to herself at the fact she could hear you squirming in your chair on the other end of the call. She decided to cut to the chase because she had teased you an awful lot last night.</p><p>“Do you need to come again already?”</p><p>Your breath hitches at Billie’s words and you look around you despite knowing it’s just you in your office. Your face is heating up and you feel more and more uncomfortable just sitting in your chair. You don’t dare answer Billie as you focus all of your willpower on not rocking in your chair to get some semblance of relief. You can’t be certain, but you’re pretty sure that Billie wouldn’t take too kindly to that.</p><p>“I asked you a question, Y/N.”</p><p>You feel a shock of arousal at Billie’s words and you open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat.  Instead, you end up groaning under your breath as you squeeze the armrest of your chair until it hurts.</p><p>“I can’t, Billie. Not here.”</p><p>Billie chuckles under her breath for two reasons. Your voice is so strained and needy that she doesn’t even really need an answer. Still, she wants to hear you say it, or at least say that you won’t. She won’t push you past your comfort zone, but this was pretty tame compared to what you’d been willing to do last night.</p><p>“That wasn’t what I asked.”</p><p>You take a deep breath before releasing your death grip. You sit up with an inaudible groan before shaking your head. You’re so warm that you’re uncomfortable and you sigh as you look for something to fan yourself with.</p><p>“Yes, god yes, but I can’t right now.”</p><p>Billie smiles victoriously before nodding in agreement. You probably didn’t have time to get off before Erin returned with your lunch. Billie smiles wider at the thought before she looks back outside to her garden. She’s definitely not getting to that today.</p><p>“I know, baby, but maybe you’ll have time tonight?”</p><p>At this point, you swear Billie is trying to kill you. All of these pet names and her promises for the attention you just can’t get enough of…it’s enough to drive you crazy. You sighed in defeat and relief at the thought of getting to see Billie again. You can hardly wait to see the medium and you’re already smiling in excitement. However, as you look to the clock and see that it’s only 1, you’re not sure how you’re going to last five more hours.</p><p>Erin steps out of her car with both of your lunches and a sigh. She looks to the client parking lot and rolls her eyes at the sight of the two reporters still waiting around. They were truly like vultures, waiting to descend on their unsuspecting prey and take them out. Erin just hurried inside, not that they paid any attention to her. After the first few times they’d tried talking to the employees without any luck, they stopped bothering. Everyone had decided to not say a word to them, and fortunately, or unfortunately they only bothered Dr. Y/L/N.</p><p>Erin had been a little surprised to see the news earlier this morning. She had made a habit of looking for anything about you and Billie because honestly this was the most interesting thing going on for her right now. Even though it wasn’t about her. So maybe it was just the most interesting thing going on around her at the moment. She couldn’t help that she was single, bored and dying for some drama. She was also really looking forward to the next season of Billie’s show.</p><p>She had a month or two until that happened, but for now Erin was content, more than really, with seeing the medium when she brought in her cats. She hadn’t predicted that Dr. Y/L/N and Billie would hit it off like they had, and she definitely hadn’t expected what the damn tabloids broadcasted this morning.</p><p>Erin had already told herself that she wasn’t going to mention it to you when she knocked on your office door. She wasn’t used to it being shut because the doctors hardly shut their doors, but you opened it so quickly she didn’t really have time to wonder about it. You were still sitting in your chair as you supposedly worked on the medical record you had opened.</p><p>“Sushi delivery.”</p><p>You smile as you open the door to see Erin standing there with your lunch. You shoot her a grateful look as you start to search your desk for your wallet.</p><p>“Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver. How much do I owe you?”</p><p>You finally find it under some papers along with your car keys. You miss Erin shaking her head as he shoots you a smile. She waves you off as she takes a step back before threatening to leave.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Dr. Y/L/N. You’ve had a rough day.”</p><p>You try to argue again, but ultimately fail and end up just opening your food with a frown of defeat. You glance to Erin who is still standing in the doorway with a smile.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>You take a moment to think of what to say next as you break your chopsticks and twirl them absentmindedly.</p><p>“They didn’t give you any trouble, did they?”</p><p>Erin smiles before shaking her head and mentioning that they didn’t spare her a second glance. This just confirmed what you knew about them and how they were only going after you. It made you want to roll your eyes, but you refrained as you motioned for Erin to sit down. She shook her head though with a smile before she pointed down the hall to nothing in particular.</p><p>“It’s okay, thanks. I actually needed to go make a call. I just wanted to say that I enjoy working with you, and unless you killed someone or something, that won’t change.”</p><p>You laugh at the ridiculousness of Erin’s statement but you can’t help but be touched by her saying this. Of course, you were a little worried about what everyone at work would think about you dating, and now sleeping with, Billie Dean. You weren’t going to let what anyone thought stop you, but you did have a job to do here, and you needed to make sure that wasn’t hindered by your relationship.</p><p>Still, Erin saying that she didn’t care and even offering you support with the Claire issue was more than you’d expected. You definitely feel like hugging the younger woman, but you don’t want to weird her out so you simply smile wider before waving as she practically runs away.</p><p>“Thank you, Erin.”</p><p>As soon as she’s gone, you start to eat your food. You really eat too much sushi, but you can’t bring yourself to care as you settle back in your chair and look to your computer screen.</p><p>1:15pm.</p><p>You had a long way to go.</p><p>
  <em>Up next, a little bump in the road before the interview.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hi there. Thanks for sticking with this story. We’re making our way towards the end, slowly but surely. Enjoy!</p><p>Warnings: angst, discussions about death (I put *** at the beginning and end), brief mention of unhealthy coping mechanisms…</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the day had been great, even though it was passing by at a painfully slow rate. You had appointments that were a piece of cake, or none at all, and you spent every free second you had with Milo. You couldn’t just sit in your office and think about Billie all day, so you resorted to spending time outside playing fetch with your dog. It’s not like you didn’t think about Billie Dean out here as well, but it was less overwhelming when Milo begged for your attention every 10 seconds. You were just grateful that this side of the building was hidden from the parking lot that the reporters had set up shop in.</p><p>You didn’t have it in you to deal with them.</p><p>You knew you had it coming though after the photo and story that was released had said in no uncertain terms that you had spent the night with Billie. You didn’t regret it at all, but you just wished that you could have just one day to bask in your changing relationship before it was in the tabloids.</p><p>Unfortunately, you’d made the mistake of reading what everyone was saying about you. Now your mood had transitioned from hot and bothered to just plain bothered. You knew that you weren’t anything too special, but some of the things that you were being called—it was just mean. You sigh as Milo comes running back toward you with his tennis ball. You go to take it from him when he decides that he’d rather play by himself. He runs away a little before dropping the ball on the ground and smacking it away. You laugh at this and roll your eyes at your ridiculous dog.</p><p>Since Milo wasn’t really in the mood to play anymore, at least with you, you sit down on the bench and take out your phone. At first you just look at your messages and then emails. You and Billie had agreed that if work didn’t tire you out too much, you’d see each other tonight. This was as far as you’d gotten in planning, and you were fine with that for now. You found your way to the internet, and again are too curious for your own good. You search for yourself and start going through the surprising number of results.</p><p>Some of them you haven’t seen, but one in particular grabs your attention in the worst way possible. You stiffen before staring at the article in an attempt to figure out if your suspicions are correct.</p><p>
  <em>Billie Dean Howard Helping Another Find Peace? </em>
</p><p>You only read the first few sentences before you stuff your phone back into your pocket and stand up to go inside. It’s nearing the end of the day and it’s close enough that you decide to feed Milo now. You want to take your mind off what you just saw, and luckily Milo is all for it.</p><p>“Hey, Milo! Dinner time.”</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Milo abandons his tennis ball for the promise of food.</p><p>Billie Dean is watching the news and scrolling through her phone when you call her. She had Mickey in her lap and was just getting him to fall back asleep when her phone rang. She silenced it quickly but when she realized it was you, she smiled widely.</p><p>“Hi Y/N.”</p><p>“Hi Billie.”</p><p>Billie’s smile fades as she recognizes your tone and hears the distinct sniffle on the other end of the line. She confirms that it’s only 6:45 before deducing that you must be at home already. Or at least not at work.</p><p>“Y/N. What’s wrong?”</p><p>You sigh as you shake your head before blinking tears out of your eyes. You shouldn’t have read that damn article, but the second you got home you hadn’t been able to resist. Now you were crying again and probably ruining Billie’s plans for the night.</p><p>“I read something that—someone dug up a lot about me and now I feel horrible.”</p><p>You hate yourself for not being able to give Billie a better answer, but it was the best you could do. Honestly you felt like crying in frustration.  You weren’t sure why simply reading the facts about something that you were so intimately familiar with affected you this way, but it did. It was like reliving it all, and this on top of what Billie had told you was too much. Your usual sadness and loneliness quicky turned into guilt that became paranoia. After what Billie had told you, you felt like you were being watched and this set you on edge.</p><p>For this reason, you were actually hiding in the bathroom with Milo. He had followed you and was now sitting with his head in your lap as you wiped away your tears. Given how prudish your dad had been when it came to talking about certain things, you figured that the bathroom was somewhere he wouldn’t follow you.</p><p>“What did you read?”</p><p>You tell Billie about the article you found and you don’t realize that she’s pulled it up on her computer until she reads the title. You cringe as she says it but confirm it nevertheless, and you wait for a minute while Billie reads it.</p><p>Billie isn’t sure what to expect, but the title pretty much said it all. Her worry becomes anger as she reads the details about your dad’s death. You hadn’t told her all of this, and she wasn’t sure how the author had figured it out. She didn’t have to ask if it was true though because your reaction was telling enough. She didn’t think you’d be this upset if it wasn’t at least mostly accurate.</p><p>God this was horrible. Even after meeting your dad and talking to him a little, she hadn’t expected this.</p><p>Billie decided that sorting through all of this new information wasn’t the most important thing right now. She shut off the news that she just realized was still running before preparing to stand up.</p><p>“Where are you now?”</p><p>Thirty minutes later, there’s a knock on your door. You stand up and head downstairs, leaving the bathroom that you’d been hiding in for almost an hour.  You watched as Milo darted out into the hall and down the stairs, undoubtedly heading for the door. You couldn’t summon up the same amount of enthusiasm despite wanting to see Billie again. You had been looking forward to this moment all day, but you hadn’t thought this would be your mood.</p><p>When you open the door to see Billie standing there it took all of your willpower not to cry. Once you saw how concerned she was you had to look away as you stepped back to let her in. Milo greeted her with a tail wag and a quick lick to an offered hand. You smile before closing the door behind the medium and shooting her a grateful and somehow guilty look.</p><p>“Thanks for coming by Billie. You didn’t have to.”</p><p>You immediately cringe at how that sounded, but you don’t have time to take it back before Billie’s shaking her head. She’s watching you carefully as you lock the door with a sigh. She turns slightly when she feels Milo pushing her hand with his head, and she starts to pet him before following you into the kitchen.</p><p>“I know I didn’t, but I was worried about you, Y/N.”</p><p>You just duck your head into the refrigerator to get something for the two of you to drink. You immediately reach for the alcohol with too wide of a smile.</p><p>“It’s okay, really. I’m fine, I just needed to vent. Wine?”</p><p>Billie watches as you take several things out of the fridge and place them on the counter. She sighs before taking off her jacket and placing it on the back of one of the chairs. She stood behind it for a second before deciding to move into the kitchen with you.</p><p>“It’s okay if you’re not fine, you know? You’re allowed to have bad days.”</p><p>You sigh as you stop pouring yourself a too full glass before shaking your head. You finally manage to look Billie in the eye again, but not for long. Your gaze quickly darts around the room before finding Milo sitting behind you.</p><p>“It feels like too many of them are bad.”</p><p>This was true because besides some of the days you spent with Billie and the better days you had at work, it seemed like you were always in a rotten mood. You were never good at just sitting around because your mind wandered to the most random things or you would obsess about things you didn’t want to think about.</p><p>You watch as Billie moves a little closer to you, and you don’t pull away when she reaches out for your hand. You actually sigh as you manage to look back to the blonde who is shooting you a smile that makes you feel so undeserving of her time and attention. You just kept complaining about the same things. How did she have the patience for you?</p><p>“That’s okay, dear. You are allowed as many bad days as you need.”</p><p>You release the glass that you’d practically had in a death grip to wipe your eyes with the back of your hand. You shake your head before squeezing Billie’s hand with a grateful look.</p><p>“I know, I just…You shouldn’t have to listen to me a--.”</p><p>You’re cut off by Billie’s hand releasing yours as she shakes her head. She pushes some stray hair behind your ear with a smile that makes you heart race.</p><p>“Y/N. I’m here for the good and the bad, okay?”</p><p>You abandon the wine in front of you and wordlessly walk around the counter to where Billie is. She just waits until you hold your arms out before pulling you into her embrace. You immediately feel better and can’t help but want to stay here forever. Luckily Billie doesn’t rush you, and you stay like that for at least a few minutes before you collect yourself and shake your head.</p><p>After getting both you and Billie something to drink, you sit in the living room for a while just talking a little bit about your days. You’d already caught up mostly, but you were really buying your time and trying to get comfortable with the idea of finally coming clean. You had sat down across from Billie because you wanted to make sure that you had a clear head when you made this decision. You needed to get this off your chest because it was driving you mad. You also feel like you owe Billie an explanation after keeping her hanging for so long.</p><p>Billie just watches as you come to your decision. She pets Milo absentmindedly from where he’s sitting next to her. You’d given him a look as he’d jumped up on the couch, but made no move to scold him. Now he was lying down curled up next to Billie with his head on her leg and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Your attention turns back to Billie, and once you realize how long you’d been lost in thought you blush slightly. It takes you a second before you manage a smile and sit up with a sigh. You eye Billie and then Milo with a shrug.</p><p>“Talk about what exactly?”</p><p>You aren’t playing dumb because you know that doesn’t work. You are merely asking for specifics because in your head there are a lot of different things that you and Billie could talk about. There were a lot of things that you had promised to tell her, and now was the time. You just weren’t sure where to start.</p><p>Billie just smiles as she brushes her hand over Milo’s ears making him close his eyes. She could tell that you had a lot that you wanted to get out into the open, but she didn’t want you to get overwhelmed. She just shrugged before saying the only thing she could think of that was encouraging, yet not too pushy.</p><p>“We can talk about whatever you want, Y/N.”</p><p>You smile immediately at this because there were plenty of things you’d like to talk about with Billie. Many of them more pleasant than what you had planned, but instead you just sit up in your seat before putting your glass on the table. You didn’t want it too close because then you’d be tempted to empty it.</p><p>“Well since you read the article, I guess you know everything about what happened.”</p><p>Billie watches with a frown as your head drops and you grimace at the mention of the damned article. She had wanted to call some people and try to get it taken down, but it occurred to her that she didn’t know if it was accurate or not. This would certainly affect her success, but what she was most concerned with now was you. Here and now.</p><p>Billie just nodded before she offered a verbal response since you still weren’t looking at her.</p><p>“I wasn’t sure how much of it was true, or if I could sue them.”</p><p>Despite yourself, you smile at the thought of Billie going up against the damn tabloid. You shook your head before looking up to see Billie smiling at you in a way that made you want to roll your eyes. You almost forgot about what you had to disclose before you opened your mouth to respond.</p><p>“As much as I would love to see that…Most of what they said was true.”</p><p>You took a moment to gather your courage before you sighed and started your story.</p><p>***</p><p>You’d already told Billie about what had killed your dad. How he’d had the disease for years when you were growing up, so it was easy for you to forget how serious it was. The way your dad never really seemed concerned about anything made it too easy to not notice what was happening right in front of you.</p><p>When you were almost out of high school, his condition had started to decline. His vision was getting worse and his feet hurt more and more. Again, you were so busy with school and your friends that you didn’t notice the new more comfortable shoes, or the way that he didn’t clean dishes as well. It was all just old age to you, until he told you that his numbers were bad.</p><p>This is what he’d always said, and you never really knew what numbers he was talking about until you’d bothered to ask. It was his blood pressure and sugar that were so alarmingly high that your dad started to actually take his medication.</p><p>By the time you started vet school, you still believed that he was taking his meds. He was exercising more and eating healthy, and you believed he was doing better. That he was getting better.</p><p>When you got to this part of the story you had to stop. Your voice had already broken a few times talking about your dad, but now you had to take a break. You had to take a deep breath and steel yourself for what you said next. This was something that you hadn’t told anyone, not even your sisters.</p><p>“I thought that he was getting better. He seemed to be, but then I--.”</p><p>You trail off as you close your eyes and take deep shuddering breath. You don’t realize that your eyes are tearing up until you open them at the sound of Milo jumping off the couch. You smile as you watch him come over to you and rub his head on your leg with a whine. He sits down next to you waiting to be pet or instructed, but you just shake your head before pointing to the ground next to you.</p><p>“It’s okay, Milo.”</p><p>You wait until Milo lies down next to you watching you closely as you manage a smile. You wipe your tears away before continuing, not noticing as Billie smiles at Milo’s actions.</p><p>“The article was right. I mean—I called the police after I found him upstairs, and I was crying so much I could…I could barely tell them what happened.”</p><p>You start to cry harder and you miss Billie standing up as you wipe your eyes again with a frustrated groan. This wasn’t going well at all. You sigh in defeat when you feel the cushion beneath you sink with Billie’s weight, and you turn to her immediately with a shake of your head.</p><p>“I was too shocked to realize I was technically a suspect, and I—well they wouldn’t let me walk Milo and when they told me why it still didn’t--.”</p><p>You don’t even bother trying to fight it and you’re crying freely now as you reach out for Billie’s offered hand. You squeeze it tightly before taking a few seconds to calm down. When you continue, your voice is a little steadier.</p><p>“I couldn’t believe it. Like I said, I thought he was getting better, and being blindsided like that---I blamed myself, I guess I still do.”</p><p>Billie opens her mouth to argue, but you beat her to it as you quickly continue your confession.</p><p>“I know you said-well that he said it wasn’t my fault, but I just can’t forgive myself for not seeing it.”</p><p>Billie frowns in confusion and disappointment. She wasn’t quite sure what you were talking about, but she also was certain that there was nothing you could have done. Your dad had said as much, and from your story, it was clear that your dad has been a stubborn man. He was going to do what he wanted.</p><p>“What didn’t you see?”</p><p>You are a little surprised by how heatedly you respond to Billie’s question. You yank your hand away to wipe your eyes as you stand up quicky. You shake your head before you start pacing, and Billie can only watch as you start ranting.</p><p>“Everything! Billie, I missed all of the signs! He was getting worse—he was hurting and I didn’t even notice! How could I...?”</p><p>You trail off as you feel a hand brush against yours as you pass by the couch. You turn to Billie who’s shooting you a pleading, yet cautious look. You don’t quite understand why until she looks away from you for a moment.</p><p>“It’s not your fault, Y/N. It sounds like your dad hid these things from you because he didn’t want you to worry.”</p><p>You nearly scoff at this, but not because of Billie. The idea that your dad hid things from you only to have it backfire like this…that was scoff-worthy. You don’t get a chance though before Billie’s looking back to something—then turns to you with a sad smile.</p><p>“All of those secrets? Those are on him, and he knows that.”</p><p>Billie stands up and takes a step closer to you. She doesn’t do anything but hold your hand as she takes a deep breath.</p><p>“You weren’t responsible for his actions. He was your father and it was his job to take care of you. He wants to apologize for failing you.”</p><p>You start crying harder and you leave the living room, pulling Billie along with you, to the kitchen. You grab a box of Kleenex before accidentally running into the counter. You curse before dropping Billie’s hand, reaching for your side with a grimace.</p><p>“Shit! I don’t—why is he apologizing to me?”</p><p>Billie sighs as she listens for a minute before trying to figure out how to word your dad’s response. He was crying a little too at this point, but Billie wasn’t sure if she should tell you this. It would probably make you even more upset.</p><p>“He hates that he left you alone, and that he didn’t do a better job of taking care of you.”</p><p>You shake your head as you bury your face in too many tissues. You think about how alone you felt in that big house with only Milo to keep you company. You think about how long you had to stay there to get everything in order before moving out here. Most importantly, you think about how empty you felt and still feel because of your dad’s absence. Not having him in your life all of a sudden was something you still hadn’t really adjusted to.</p><p>You’d dealt with this loneliness by turning it into guilt that you realize wasn’t even justified.</p><p>As if hearing what you’re thinking, Billie says the last thing you need to hear.</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault he was so sick, Y/N.”</p><p>You practically start sobbing at this before you shake your head in denial. You walk back to the couch, sitting down and completely ignoring Milo who is pawing at you in concern. You don’t even know if Billie is near you before you start talking, well you try to talk.</p><p>“Y-es it was! I was supposed to ta-take care of him. I shouldn’t have let him-!”</p><p>Billie cuts you off because both you and your dad are getting more upset, and she’s afraid you’ve missed his point.</p><p>“You were not responsible for his health, sweetheart. He didn’t mean to make you feel like you were. He knows that’s not fair to put such a burden on you.”</p><p>You want to say that it didn’t feel like a burden. That you didn’t worry when you watched your dad eat something particularly unhealthy or complain about not seeing the mess he left on the counter. You sniffle pitifully as you shake your head out of a lack of anything better to do. You don’t know what to say at this point. You’re at a loss because even after all of this you still felt guilty.</p><p>You felt guilty about not seeing what was happening, and you felt guilty about not doing your job. Your dad had jokingly said one day that his doctor had told him to put you in charge of his diet. Since you had been the most responsible of your siblings it was your job to make sure he ate right.</p><p>You didn’t realize until right now how much pressure and stress that put on you, and if you weren’t already sitting down you would have collapsed at the realization. You felt guilty alright, but not just about what you’d mentioned.</p><p>You felt guilty because you were so angry.</p><p>You wouldn’t let yourself admit it because it made you feel awful, but you had been angry when your dad died. You had thought he was getting better, and to find out that he wasn’t, that he hadn’t tried hard enough, or he’d started too late made you so mad that you couldn’t put it into words. You were mad at him for leaving you without warning, and for making all of your efforts meaningless. None of it had made a difference.</p><p>You didn’t realize that Billie had come sit next to you until you go to lie down. You’re crying miserably into your hands at this point and there really is no stopping it now. You’ve opened the floodgates and you feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.</p><p>You end up lying down in Billie’s lap as you cry for your dad who had always supported you, even when you were wrong. You cry because you will miss him for too many reasons to count. You never really thought about your wedding before, but the idea of him not being there to walk you down the aisle made you cry impossibly harder.</p><p>How were you going to live the rest of your life without him?</p><p>***</p><p>Billie was running her fingers through your hair as you slept peacefully. After tiring yourself out, you’d fallen asleep in Billie’s lap for probably the fifth time since you’d met her and had been practically comatose since. Milo had barked a couple of times to be let out, but Billie didn’t want to risk waking you. Instead, she told Milo to sit and hoped that he would just continue to stare at you two instead of bark, or god forbid go pee somewhere.</p><p>It was getting late and Billie was trying to figure out how to get up without waking you when you finally started to stir. You groan in exhaustion and pain, you were still pretty damn sore, before you sat up. You realized that your pillow was actually Billie and you blinked the sleep out of your eyes before shooting her an apologetic look.</p><p>“God, I just keep sleeping on you, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Billie holds back her first flirty thought and decides to say something a little more supportive. You smile as you make a half-hearted attempt to fix your hair before sighing heavily. You look around the room and the first thing you see is Milo staring at you. You know he needs to go out, but you need to check in with Billie first.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>You expect this question, but still, you smile as you nod without thinking. “Better. Thank you. I think I just needed to vent. I--.”</p><p>You pause as you consider the truth of your next statement. You just sigh when you realize how unintelligent you can be despite the amount of evidence that proves otherwise.</p><p>“I hadn’t really given myself a chance to process all of that before.”</p><p>Billie seems a little surprised by this because it’s been more than two months. According to you it had happened a month before graduation, and she understood you being really busy, but putting something off like this wasn’t healthy. She was amazed that you had made it this long without getting to the root of what had you so upset.</p><p>“Not at all?”</p><p>Billie realizes that this probably wasn’t the right thing to ask you when you just frown in response. You look away guiltily before shaking your head. You realize how unhealthy this behavior is and you feel a little bit like a chastised dog when you manage to look back to Billie to try and explain yourself.</p><p>You don’t get the chance though before Billie’s speaking up, and you just sigh in response to what she says.</p><p>“That’s not good for you, Y/N.”</p><p>You nod in agreement before sitting up straighter and trying to crack your back. You groan under your breath at the lack of success you have before you swallow your pride.</p><p>“I know, you’re right. I just wasn’t ready yet, you know?”</p><p>Billie frowns but doesn’t argue with you. She can’t really imagine how difficult it must have been for you to suddenly end up alone. To have no one and still need to finish school on top of dealing with all of your dad’s affairs.</p><p>Billie doesn’t realize how long she’s spaced out for until she hears Milo whine. She looks back to you as the dog paws at your leg with another whine. He must want to go out.</p><p>“He needs to go out. Do you want to come with me, unless you need to leave of course?”</p><p>You hurry to add the last part because you had almost forgotten how late it was. You weren’t sure of how long you slept for, but Billie hadn’t arrived until after 7. You stand up to busy yourself in case Billie says no, but Milo of course runs off to get his leash leaving you and Billie alone. You remember that you just woke up and that you don’t look nearly as good as Billie, not that you ever do, but it’s too late for you to care. You’re tired and have a lot floating around your mind right now, and how your hair looks like a bird’s nest is the least of your worries.</p><p>Billie just smiles before she nods in agreement. She wasn’t quite ready to leave yet despite the late hour. She wanted to spend more time with you and make sure you were alright to be on your own. You’d talked about a lot of upsetting things, and Billie didn’t want to leave you dwelling on those.</p><p>“Of course, let’s go.”</p><p>You, Billie, and Milo arrive downstairs without incident. It’s pretty deserted given the late hour, and you are too tired to really care about being seen. You stifle a yawn as you follow Milo out the front door, but you nearly trip as he quickly tugs you towards a tree. You groan when you hear Billie chuckling from behind you, but you don’t respond as you take a deep breath. You relax slightly as you let the cool air wash over you before turning to Billie with a smile.</p><p>“Are you ready?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Wow so never listen to me when I say how long it will take to update… A lot of stuff happens in this one.  Mind the warnings.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings:  brief physical assault, use of homophobic slurs, vague mentions of domestic violence and vomiting.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you wake up Sunday morning you are immensely grateful that you don’t have to go into work until 11. You had stayed up until almost 2 in the morning on the phone with Billie. She had gone home after your walk, but she’d called you after she’d taken care of the kittens to check in. You still seemed a little down when she left, which was understandable, but she didn’t like it.</p><p>For this reason, as soon as she could, she called you just to talk and keep your mind off certain things. You both ended up getting into bed and chatting about nothing in particular for a couple of hours. Things stayed pretty tame, and talking to her definitely helped you relax. Still, you woke up a little on edge as you just sat in bed for a while. Almost an hour had gone by of you just sitting in bed on your phone when you hear Milo start up the stairs.</p><p>As quickly and quietly as possibly you lie back down and throw the covers over you. If Milo sees that you’re awake, he’ll bother you until you take him on a walk. You close your eyes and try to feign sleep for a little bit, but when Milo jumps up on your bed you realize you’ve lost.</p><p>Usually, he’ll sit in front of the bed and whine a little, or paw at you. If he knew you were up though, he would jump on the bed and then on you.</p><p>You really needed to teach Milo about sleeping in on Sundays.</p><p>As expected, your dog is already climbing on you and searching for your head. He liked to lick your face to wake you up, and you had to push him away as you groaned in disgust and defeat.</p><p>Guess you were getting up.</p><p>After changing into clothes that you wouldn’t mind seeing yourself in later, you lead Milo outside and away from your apartment building. You decide to take him a little farther than usual since you have more time before you need to get to work. He of course loves it, but you end up regretting not taking the time to check the ‘news’ for any updates on you and Billie.</p><p>You were on your phone for an hour, but it hadn’t even occurred to you that you should check on that. You really should know better by now. You walk down a street you’ve become familiar with because it has the bakery that you love. You are already thinking about donuts as you walk through the front doors still only half awake.</p><p>You smile at the woman behind the counter, muttering a quiet ‘hi’ before glancing over the menu. You only decide on the pastry you want before she speaks up. You didn’t hear what she is saying because your mind was fully on what to have for breakfast, so you frown in confusion before making the mistake of asking her to repeat herself.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what did you say?”</p><p>The redhead pulls her phone out of her pocket and presses a few buttons before showing you what she was talking about.</p><p>“Is this you?”</p><p>It takes you a second to realize what you’re looking at because the video isn’t very good. It was taken at night and it was kind of fuzzy and far away. Eventually you recognize Billie as she pulls away from you, and your eyes widen giving the woman the only answer she needed.</p><p>You leave without your pastry and you’re more than a little pissed as you pull out your phone to call Billie. You’re too distracted by the task at hand, that you don’t notice the car coming as you cross the road. The driver lays on the horn and you jump in surprise before scrambling back onto the sidewalk. You have a half grimace and half apologetic look on your face as the car passes you before you look both ways like an adult and try again. Luckily Milo was smarter than you and hadn’t even stepped out on to the street yet.</p><p>“Come on, Milo. Let’s try and figure out what’s going on.”</p><p>Billie is still in bed when you call her because it is Sunday after all. It’s Sunday and not even 9 am yet. Billie sighs before sitting up and reaching for her phone. Seeing that it’s you makes her smile, and she’s quick to answer it as she runs a hand through her hair.</p><p>“Good morning, Y/N.”</p><p>You smile immediately at the sleep you hear in Billie’s voice before sighing happily. You’re almost back to your apartment and Milo is picking up the pace because it’s breakfast time. Actually, it’s your breakfast time, but that doesn’t matter to him. He likes watching you eat because more often than not he gets some of whatever you’re eating. Not because you give it to him, but you tend to be an absentminded and messy eater.</p><p>“Morning, Billie. I’m sorry if I woke you up.”</p><p>You nearly curse yourself for the tension you can hear in your own voice. You know that Billie will pick up on it and you just wait for her to ask.</p><p>She doesn’t waste any time at all. Not that you expected her to.</p><p>“It’s not a problem, sweetheart. Is everything alright?”</p><p>You can’t help but smile at the fact that you were right about Billie picking up on your stress. You didn’t want to ruin her day with this, but you didn’t want to hide it either. It didn’t even occur to you that she might have heard it from someone else either way.</p><p>You and Milo walk into your apartment building and you press the button for the elevator impatiently. You hit it another few times before sighing in defeat. You turn toward the stairwell at the end of the hall and head that way with Milo in tow.</p><p>“Apparently there is a video of us on the internet.”</p><p>You wait until you’re sure you have Billie’s attention before you tell her what you saw. It was a video from Friday night when you and Milo went to Billie’s place. As you describe the short video showing you sitting on the kitchen counter with Billie standing in between your legs, you open the door to the stairwell and let Milo go through first. When Billie asks how you found out about this, you tell her about how you went on a walk with Milo to your favorite bakery.</p><p>“Yeah, the woman working there told me, and I was so weirded out I didn’t even get my donut.”</p><p>Billie laughs at this as she smiles sympathetically. She knows how important your sugar is to you and she realizes you must have been pretty thrown off to leave without it. She waits until you’re done talking to Milo, apparently he’s going too fast for so early in the morning, before speaking up.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Y/N. That must have been uncomfortable.”</p><p>You laugh under your breath because it was very awkward for the three seconds you spend debating whether or not you should leave empty-handed. You opened your mouth to say this when you hear the door on the second floor open and you watch as someone walks out. You hold back your groan of annoyance because this person, your downstairs neighbor is a pain in the ass. He is a homophobic asshole who has no problem sharing his feelings with you every time you run into each other. Luckily this was only the third time since you started seeing Billie.</p><p>You start up the next flight of stairs until you remember that you haven’t responded to Billie. You smile before mentioning the end of your trip to the bakery.</p><p>“No, it was great. I--.”</p><p>Billie was just thinking about getting out of bed when you’re cut off mid-sentence. She frowns in confusion when she hears Milo start barking and a series of thuds as you drop the phone. You tumble down the stairs, hitting your head against the wall as you reach the bottom. You curse before looking up to see the blurry figure that just shoved you continue down the stairs like nothing happened. You realize a few seconds later that Milo’s following him.</p><p>“Milo, stop.”</p><p>It takes you a moment to regain your bearings and you cringe as you reach for your head. You’re sure you will have a nice bump forming pretty soon. With another groan, you get to your knees before you hiss in pain. Damn that hurt.</p><p>“Fuck you, Doug.”</p><p>You mutter this under your breath because your head hurts too much to speak any louder. You grit your teeth as you hear his response followed by the sound of Milo yelping.</p><p>“Screw you, dyke.”</p><p>You sit up straight at the sound and feel your head swim as you look around frantically for Milo. You finally spot him shaking his head at the bottom of the stairs and you call him up quickly.</p><p>“Milo, come here, boy. Are you okay?”</p><p>You wait until Milo is close enough for you to reach out to him. You don’t see anything wrong with him, but you can’t be sure given how dazed you still feel. You sigh as you pull Milo closer to you until you can find where his leash is attached to his collar so you can grab it. You pull him closer before you attempt to get up.</p><p>The sound of Billie’s voice coming from somewhere reminds you that you were on the phone with her. You’d completely forgotten.</p><p>“Y/N? Are you there? Hello?”</p><p>You look around for your phone, but you don’t see it immediately. You move around Milo and frown when you still don’t see it. How far could it have gone? You manage to get to your feet using the wall for support before you take another look around. You finally find it down on the steps headed down to the first floor. You move too quickly to get it and you stumble over Milo before you manage to grab the hand rail with a curse.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>You slowly kneel down to grab it before standing up again slowly. How it’s not broken you have no idea, but you’re not going to question it. You put the phone to your ear and tighten your hold on Milo’s leash. He’s leaning against you in a way that’s making you more unbalanced. You hurry to lean against the wall before you squeeze your eyes shut to try and recover enough to respond coherently.</p><p>“Y/N? What’s going on? Are you alright?”</p><p>You sigh again before you respond, your voice a little more telling than you were hoping it would be.</p><p>“Hi, sorry. I’m here. I just--.”</p><p>You’re not sure why you’re apologizing for someone pushing you down the fucking stairs and you roll your eyes at your stupidity. You don’t get to stumble through your explanation before Billie’s speaking again.</p><p>“What just happened, Y/N? Did you fall?”</p><p>You merely huff in annoyance as you start up the stairs. You decide not to take the next three flights and just make it to the second floor so you can take the elevator. You don’t trust yourself not to misstep. Especially since you’re on the phone.</p><p>“Yes. Well no. This asshole in my building pushed me.”</p><p>Billie isn’t sure that she heard you right. Well, no she knows she did because despite sounding ticked and winded, you spoke clearly. Instead, Billie’s trying to figure out who the fuck thought they could pull something like this. Looks like she had more than one person to sue.</p><p>“Are you alright? Did you get hurt?”</p><p>You finally make it to the top of the stairs and you groan as you lead Milo out into the hallway.</p><p>“I hit my head a little, but I’m fine.”</p><p>You walk down the hall and make it to the elevator before Billie speaks up. You didn’t even realize how much time had passed before her worried voice snaps your attention back to her.</p><p>“Do you need to go see a doctor?”</p><p>You’re already shaking your head because it’s past 9:00 and you have to get ready for work. You haven’t eaten yet and you feel yourself getting slightly cranky at the thought. You step into the elevator with Milo on your heels before pressing the button for your floor with a little more force than necessary.</p><p>“No, it’s okay, Billie. I’ll be fine. I have work soon anyway.”</p><p>Again, you don’t notice Billie’s silence because you’re concentrating on getting to your apartment so you can get something to eat. You don’t know that Billie is debating whether or not you are making the right decision. She doesn’t want to boss you around, but she’s worried that you’re more hurt than you let on. Finally, Billie sighs before she shakes her head in defeat. She’s reaching for a cigarette on her nightstand when she finally asks.</p><p>“Okay. Will you call me to check in?”</p><p>You smile despite the fact that you can’t promise when this will happen, but you’re all too willing to do this for her. Once your apartment door is opened you let Milo go before closing the door behind you with a nod.</p><p>“Of course, but don’t worry okay? I’ll be fine.”</p><p>After convincing Billie that you will call her when you get a chance, you get ready for work as you usually would. After making breakfast and drinking a little more than usual you feel pretty good. You take something for the headache you anticipate having before you get dressed and ready to go. Milo’s already waiting for you at the door and you put on his harness and leash before heading out.</p><p>You make it to work without incident. You put Milo in his kennel until lunch in a couple of hours before you head up to your office. You smile at the sight of the flowers still there before you put your stuff down and sigh in anticipation. The clinic doesn’t open for a bit so you have time to take a look and see what your day is going to consist of.</p><p>You sit down in front of your computer and turn it on. You kill time waiting for it to boot up by checking your phone again. You see that Billie texted you and you frown in confusion before just shrugging in indifference. You don’t know Doug’s last name, but you have plenty of descriptors you can give Billie. You’re too focused on figuring out your day to even think about why Billie would want that information.</p><p>Billie’s finally up and out of bed, ready to start the day. After checking on the kittens she hurries to get to work. She has Mickey in her lap as she’s working at the dining room table. She is emailing Jeff her media guru to figure out where this video came from. She assumed it was from the same tabloid that released the morning after story, but she couldn’t be sure. After she sends this, she double checks her phone to see if you texted back. She records everything you say about Doug, even the profanities in her computer in case she needs it for later.</p><p>Since she knows you don’t work tomorrow, she plans on dragging you to the doctor kicking and screaming if she has to. She can be just as stubborn as you are, and in this case, she doesn’t plan on giving in. Billie sighs in defeat before shutting her computer. She looks down at Mickey in her lap, and smiles as he responds to her scratches with a quiet purr. She hadn’t planned on doing much today, but now she feels like her entire day will just be worrying about you.</p><p>Against her better judgement, Billie decides to watch the video again. It’s only about 20 seconds, but she still finds it disturbing that someone had crept into her backyard without either of you noticing. As the video ends, she furrows her brows slightly as she recalls something peculiar that you hadn’t really explained to her.</p><p>You had just played off her concern with a smile and a joke as you normally did. However, Billie could tell that this was somehow related to something from your past that she didn’t know about. Something that had been significant enough for Milo to pick up on it. She didn’t know what to make of it, but she planned to find out. If there was something she could do to help you or reassure you, she would do it.</p><p>Lunchtime rolled around without anything too interesting happening in appointments or otherwise. You weren’t sure what to eat and were on your way downstairs when someone from reception came back to treatment with a box of donuts.</p><p>You eye them curiously when you notice the name on the box. They’re from that bakery you failed to get breakfast from this morning, but you don’t get a chance to ask before Erin arrives.</p><p>“Oh donuts! That’s awesome! Where’d they come from?”</p><p>Erin’s already reaching for the card before she realizes that it has your name on it. She and Marissa share a look that you miss as the latter hands the note to you.</p><p>“For you, Dr. Y/L/N.”</p><p>You only wonder for a second who it’s from before you recognize the handwriting. You smile at the sweet note before you open the box and your eyes grow dark.</p><p>You loved donuts.</p><p>You see a dozen of the most appetizing donuts you’ve ever laid eyes on and you almost reach out for them before you look to Marissa and Erin who are just watching you.</p><p>“Go ahead you two. I’ll get one in a second.”</p><p>You watch as the pair eyes the chocolate frosted, sprinkled and glazed donuts hungrily before you go wash your hands. You hear Erin groan from behind you and you smile once you finish up and turn back around to see her with only half a donut and satisfied look on her face that makes you want to laugh out loud.</p><p>“Your girlfriend is the best, doc.”</p><p>You opened your mouth to respond, but you’re caught off guard by this. You still couldn’t help but smile at the thought before you moved to grab a donut too. You’ll have to get some real food before you eat too many of these donuts, but for now you were going to enjoy yourself. So you just nod in response to Erin’s comment before taking a bite of chocolate.</p><p>You can’t hide the smug little smile that breaks across your face at the thought of being able to call Billie Dean your girlfriend.</p><p>“She definitely is.”</p><p>Billie is on the phone with Michelle when you call her. After ordering yourself a healthier lunch you retreat back up to your office with a slight grimace. Your head still hurts and you had about an hour before you could take anything else. So to pass the time you plan on finishing up some work and calling Billie to thank her and check in.</p><p>“Michelle, let me call you back, okay?”</p><p>After receiving an ‘ok’ in response, Billie answers your call with a smile. She had been wondering how you were doing and didn’t waste any time.</p><p>“Y/N. How are you feeling, sweetheart?”</p><p>You smile widely before you lean back in your chair and close your eyes. You weren’t sure why you thought you wouldn’t have to answer this question immediately.</p><p>“Hi, Billie. I’m great thanks. I’ve eaten too many donuts and my head only hurts a little.”</p><p>Billie laughs as she thinks about this. She knows how much you like food, and it’s so cute to see you get so excited. She wishes she could have been there to see your face.</p><p>“I’m glad you liked them, but are you really feeling alright?”</p><p>For the next few minutes, you and Billie talk about what your days have consisted of so far. You mentioned how work was a little hectic, but not bad at all. You also only have about 4 hours left. You were surprised to hear that Billie was talking to her assistant about the video. Rather, you were surprised by the attention it was receiving.</p><p>“Wait, what? People think you were...?”</p><p>You trail off as you think back to the short clip that you’d seen this morning. It was just you and Billie kissing in her kitchen. Nothing special. Well, you thought it was special, but you didn’t know why anyone else cared. You definitely didn’t get what Billie was saying about people’s reactions.</p><p>“They thought I was forcing myself on you.”</p><p>You nearly laugh at this but you stop short because you recognize the tension underlying Billie’s words. She seems more concerned about this than you would have thought. Sure, it wasn’t a good thing to have people believing things like that about you, but Billie could make it right. She could release a statement or just wait until her interview.</p><p>“That’s ridiculous.”</p><p>You say this absentmindedly as you look to your slightly wilted flowers. They still smell great and you breathe in deeply just to get more of them. It isn’t until you hum to yourself that you realize that Billie hasn’t responded.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>The medium sighs as she tries to figure out how to mention what’s really bothering her without being too obvious. She knows that Michelle and Jeff can deal with any bad press this video gets. That’s not what she’s worried about at the moment.</p><p>“I know, Y/N. It just doesn’t look good.”</p><p>You nod at this because you’d already decided that it didn’t. Whoever thought they saw you running away from Billie didn’t understand what had really happened. You weren’t too keen on sharing what that was, but if Billie was worried, you’d figure out how to explain it without revealing too much.</p><p>You weren’t really ready to talk about that yet.</p><p>“I know, Billie, but it will be okay.”</p><p>Both you and Billie sit in silence for a few seconds. She thinks about how her attempt to get you to confess what really happened failed, while you decide whether or not to even mention it. You eventually fall back on your decision to be as honest as possible with Billie. The decision is made easier by the fact that Billie hasn’t judged you for your past yet, and you trust her enough to share this.</p><p>“You know that wasn’t it. Milo just…he was going to try to get you away from me.”</p><p>That was the truth, but definitely not really an explanation. Billie was smart enough to figure this out on her own, you were sure, so you were really just buying time to see how she reacted to you saying, or rather confirming her belief. You sigh as you cringe slightly before getting to the point when Billie doesn’t say anything.</p><p>“He’s just really protective of me, and he didn’t like you touching me. Even if I did.”</p><p>Billie smiles to herself at your words, and her mind’s already wandering to touching you again when you speak up. Billie hadn’t been expecting you to be so blunt, but she had always known that you were full of surprises. Good and bad. This wasn’t one of the good ones.</p><p>“Remember how I told you I got him from an ex? Well, she wasn’t the nicest.”</p><p>Erin was sitting up front in reception with Lindsey for the first real break she’s had all day. She was finishing up her donut when she peeked out the window to see that the same car that was here when she arrived this morning hadn’t left. They were just waiting around like always and Erin rolled her eyes as she looked to the blonde sitting next to her.</p><p>“Do you think they’ll ever give up, Lins?”</p><p>The blonde in question turns to where Erin is looking and simply sighs. It had only been a week of this, but it was getting old quickly. She felt bad for you because you honestly were just trying to do your own thing. You had just moved here and barely had a month under your belt when all of this happened.</p><p>“I don’t know, but I hope so.”</p><p>They both look for a few more seconds before Lindsey turns back to Erin with a curious look. She knows how much of a fan the brunette is of Billie Dean, so she’s really only asking for clarification. She shifts a little in her seat so she’s facing her friend.</p><p>“Hey, Erin. Have you seen that video?”</p><p>She and Erin were the only ones up here for now since Marissa is on lunch, and Mina was in the back so she didn’t need to worry about being overheard. Erin turns to Lindsey with a slight grimace before she nods in answer. There’s no point in lying because she knew that Lindsey knew her better than that. She just nodded again before sitting up and crossing her legs. She listens briefly to make sure that you were still upstairs before speaking.</p><p>“Yeah, I saw it before work. I don’t really--.”</p><p>She pauses as she thinks about what she saw and how out of context, it didn’t make a lot of sense. She’d blushed heavily at the sight of you and Billie so intimate, but almost as quickly, she’d been confused by how fast it ended. You’d practically flown off the counter toward something. The video had ended before she saw where you went, and despite watching it an embarrassing number of times, she didn’t know what to make of it.</p><p>“Yeah, I get what you mean.”</p><p>Erin turns to Lindsey in confusion because she wasn’t sure that Lindsey would know where her hesitation came from. She was surprised; however, when Lindsey practically said what she couldn’t find the words to articulate.</p><p>“It looked a little sketch at first, but there has to be an explanation, right?”</p><p>Erin nodded in agreement smiling as she started to come to your defense, but she was interrupted by the front door opening. She sat up assuming it was a client, but then she saw the delivery bag and she knew what it was. She stood up in anticipation before nodding when the man said the fake name you’d started using. You learned the first time a nosey employee asked too many questions that it was best to be as incognito as possible.</p><p>“Order for Misty Gish?”</p><p>Erin has to stop herself from laughing as she takes the bag with an appreciative smile. She doesn’t know how you come up with these things sometimes.</p><p>After telling Lindsey that she’ll be right back, Erin heads toward the stairs and up to the second floor. She doesn’t hear anything other than Mina in the back cleaning until she’s at the top of the stairs. Since you’re the only doctor working today, it’s pretty quiet upstairs and Erin can hear you talking to someone.</p><p>“No, she didn’t hit me. She just pushed me around for a while and Milo didn’t—oh hey Erin!”</p><p>Your chair comes to a stop mid-spin as the brunette appears in your doorway with your lunch. You smile widely as you take it from her with a muttered thank you, watching as Erin smiles apologetically before she starts to back out into the hall.</p><p>“Here you go. Sorry to interrupt.”</p><p>Erin would be lying if she said she hadn’t been listening to what you were saying. It raised a lot of questions that she wouldn’t dare to ask you.</p><p>You smile as you set the bag on your desk, having to move your phone that you had haphazardly thrown down when you saw Erin. You shake your head before mentioning offhandedly.</p><p>“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m just talking to Billie. Thank you for this!”</p><p>Erin nods before she heads back downstairs with a contemplative look. She thought about what you had said to Billie before shaking her head. It wasn’t her business, but hopefully Billie was taking better care of you than this nameless woman.</p><p>Once Erin’s gone, you sigh before reaching for your phone with a smile.</p><p>“Sorry about that Billie, but I have food now.”</p><p>Billie laughs at this before rolling her eyes at the excitement she hears in your voice. She was glad that you were getting fed because you still had a while until you were done with work.</p><p>“I heard. I’m happy for you, sweetheart.”</p><p>You’re too excited about your food to roll your eyes at Billie’s teasing tone. You instead sigh again as you take a peek into the bag and sniff your food like a dog.</p><p>“Should I leave you two alone?’</p><p>This time you do roll your eyes and you laugh dryly at Billie’s words. You push your food away before shaking your head as you stand up to close the door. You probably should have done this before, but it was a little late now. Either way you knew that you hadn’t quite finished your explanation.</p><p>“Ha. Ha. Thanks, but I can wait until I finish telling you why Milo is my favorite dog to date.”</p><p>When your next appointment arrives, you’re not feeling any better despite having eaten. Your headache was getting worse instead of better and you’d already taken as much medicine for it as you could. You just had to power through the next few hours then you could go home and fall asleep watching something mindless.</p><p>You don’t realize how tired you are until you almost get bitten by a cat with an ear infection. You smile and eventually make it through the rest of the appointment unscathed. When they leave at 3:30 you are dreading your next appointment. You still feel tired no matter how much coffee you drink and you find out, as you try to work on your records, that you barely write a coherent sentence. You groan in annoyance as you delete the gibberish you’d written yet again before Erin comes back to let you know the next patient was ready for you.</p><p>You hold back another groan as you nod in acknowledgement before closing the note in front of you. You’re not sure any of what you’d written is right, but you can’t worry about that now. Your brain is just not working correctly at the moment.</p><p>“Is everything alright, Dr. Y/L/N?”</p><p>You’re lying through your teeth when you tell her you’re fine, but you manage a smile before you stand up to follow her. Your head spins a little, but you just take a second to steady yourself before continuing on. You walk into the exam room and introduce yourself to the owner and the adorable old golden that greets you by covering you with fur. You are glad this is just a wellness visit because as you do your exam and continue talking with the owner you feel yourself fading. You give Bernie his vaccines and answer any questions that Bernie’s owner has before you send the pair on their way.</p><p>You leave the room at an uncharacteristically slow pace before shutting the door behind you. You lean against the wall and close your eyes as you listen to the pounding of your pulse against your skull. You force yourself to take a deep breath but somehow this just makes it worse and you grimace in pain.</p><p>Water.</p><p> Maybe water would help stop your raging headache.</p><p>You start heading back toward treatment, but the second you open your eyes you feel disoriented. You groan before stopping at the door and closing your eyes once again. You manage to pull it open and stumble inside before heading toward the sink without looking.</p><p>“Woah, are you okay, doc?”</p><p>You don’t hear Mina as you brace your hands on the edge of the sink. You squeeze your eyes shut as you try to will away the pain but even that doesn’t work. In fact, this makes it much worse. Your pulse is deafening and you feel so nauseous just from the sound you think you might throw up.</p><p>By the time Mina makes it over to you, you’re shaking from the effort of staying upright. You don’t hear what Mina says, but when she reaches you to steady you, you double over and throw up into the sink, and on the floor. Mina’s quick to grab you as you start falling, and she curses before calling for help.</p><p>“Shit! Erin!? Somebody help me!”</p><p>It’s only a few seconds before Mina hears the sound of hurried footsteps. The door to treatment opens to reveal a wide-eyed and confused Erin who practically screams when she sees you on the floor unconscious.</p><p>“Shit! What happened?”</p><p>Mina shakes her head because she has no idea. She saw you dragging your feet a little bit today, but she thought it was because you were simply tired. She tried not to get into your personal business, but she figured your new relationship was to blame for your fatigue. This; however, this was something completely different.</p><p>“I don’t know, she just threw up and collapsed.”</p><p>Erin was already running for the phone when Marissa arrived. She was quick to ask Mina if she could help, and she grabbed your arm to search for your pulse while Mina left to find a stethoscope. Erin was looking on nervously as she spoke with the dispatcher frantically.</p><p>“911 what’s your emergency?”</p><p>“We need an ambulance at Sunset vet clinic. Our doctor just passed out and she’s not waking up!”</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HI there! Please mind the warnings.<br/>Warnings: brief mentions of abusive in the first 2 paragraphs, hospital scenes, angst, confusion and more sickness.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Billie Dean wasn’t sure what she’d expected to feel after learning about your ex-girlfriend. She had guessed from the way that you hadn’t talked about her much, or if you did it was with disdain, that things hadn’t ended well. You made it sound like you didn’t get along because of your differing values, like how she treated Milo for example. That was definitely a major reason for your breakup, but apparently, she had also been abusive.</p><p>Billie couldn’t stand to think too much into that, but you’d told her enough to understand why Milo was so protective of you. He needed to make sure you didn’t get hurt again, and Billie couldn’t find it in her to fault him for this. Although Billie had no intention of doing this to you, knowing that you’d been hurt before made her irrationally angry. She knew she couldn’t do anything to change what had happened, and whoever this woman was, wasn’t worth tracking down. She just didn’t know how anyone could mistreat someone as kind-hearted as you.</p><p>She had a lot of people on her shit list at the moment.</p><p>Billie was on her way upstairs to check on the kittens when her phone rang. She sighed before heading back down to the living room to find it. She didn’t recognize the number but she picked up anyway because not many people had her number.</p><p>“Hello? Billie Dean speaking.”</p><p>Under any other circumstance, Erin would have been fangirling at the opportunity to talk to Billie Dean Howard. Unfortunately, she was extremely stressed and not looking forward to making this call at all. After hanging up with the police she and Mina tried to get you to wake up, but were unsuccessful. Marissa kept herself busy by calling the last couple of appointment and rescheduling them before closing the hospital down.</p><p>It wasn’t until the ambulance pulled into the parking lot that Erin realized the damn reporters were still here. She knew she couldn’t do anything about it, but it was frustrating to her that they just wouldn’t give up. You didn’t deserve to have your entire life dissected and scrutinized, but she knew you were going to end up in the tabloids again if they saw you. Which they definitely would.</p><p>She met the paramedics outside before quickly leading them to where you were still passed out in treatment. They were quick to ask Erin and Mina questions about what had happened, but neither of them really knew. They told the paramedics about how you’d been a little tired today and how that had progressed to disorientation and then suddenly nausea, but there was nothing they could think of that had caused it.</p><p>“Is there anyone else who might know? Any family or friends?”</p><p>When she asks this, Erin realizes who she can call. The paramedics don’t wait around though and as soon as you’re on the stretcher, they’re wheeling you outside. Mina is scrambling to call her boss to let her know what’s going on, while Erin picks up the phone again to call the only person she can think of that might know what’s going on.</p><p>She has to check the computer to figure out her number, but she dials it quickly before tapping her foot impatiently. Anxiously. It rings three times before Billie picks up.</p><p>“Hello? Billie Dean speaking.”</p><p>It takes all of Erin’s self-control not to start shouting frantically when she hears the medium’s voice. Instead, she glances to Mina and then to the mess of towels and vomit on the floor before speaking.</p><p>“Hi, Ms. Howard this is Erin, I work with Dr. Y/L/N? Something’s happened.”</p><p>You wake up confused and still in pain on the way to the hospital. You don’t know that you’re in an ambulance and you panic a little when you realize you can’t move. It feels like your limbs are heavy as lead and your eyes refuse to stay open as you try to figure out where you are.</p><p>You look around and see a couple of people you don’t recognize, but you can’t really make them out. You have to squeeze your eyes shut at the too bright lights that make you feel even more discombobulated.</p><p>“Wh-where am I?”</p><p>You shiver and jolt in surprise when a blanket is put over you a couple seconds later. You open your eyes to see someone hovering over you.</p><p>“Doctor, you’re in an ambulance. You fainted at work.”</p><p>You groan under your breath at the pain still present at the back of your head. It’s dulled but it’s still there, and you feel your stomach churn as the pain intensifies when you focus on it. You don’t remember passing out. The last thing you remember from work is loving on that golden retriever Bernie.</p><p>“Did you ca-call ‘er?”</p><p>You’re not sure what it is. The cold, your head, your stomach or something that they gave you, but you can’t get the words out without being interrupted by violent shivers. Your throat is dry. You cough and that goes straight to your head and you cringe in pain. You try to listen for their answer, but it’s too hard to focus. You don’t hear them ask you who you’re talking about before you close your eyes and slip back into unconsciousness.</p><p>“B-Billie.”</p><p>Milo whines from the backseat of a strange car that he’s never been in before. He looks out the window as Erin drives him somewhere that’s not home. He didn’t know what was going on since you hadn’t shown up to take him home at the end of the day. He liked Erin because they played a lot, but he still didn’t like being away from you.</p><p>Milo starts pawing at the window again to try and get out, but Erin just sighs before looking back at him with a frown.</p><p>“Milo, stop buddy. We’ll be at my place soon and then you can rest.”  </p><p>Erin just sighs again in defeat when Milo releases another high-pitched whine. She feels bad about having to take him home and out of his comfort zone, but she didn’t really have much of a choice. She’d mentioned him to Billie after telling her what had happened with you, and had offered to take him home. Billie had been eager to get to the hospital so she’d agreed immediately before promising to be in touch as soon as she knew what was going on.</p><p>Erin was happy to help because she knew Milo couldn’t stay at the clinic all night. Well he could, dogs were boarded there, but he wouldn’t do well at all. For this reason, Milo was coming home with her until either you or Billie could come by and get him. Erin just hoped that he would be alright with her cat, Dex. She hadn’t really considered this before agreeing, but as she pulled up to her apartment, she figured that she’d find out pretty soon.</p><p>You don’t really remember arriving at the hospital. You’re not even sure you were conscious when you were rolled in, but you wake up a little later in a bed with scratchy sheets surrounded by sterile white walls. You groan under your breath as you look down to the IV sticking out of your arm and the flurry of movement around you.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N. We’re going to run a few tests on you, but first we need to get you changed into a gown.”</p><p>You’re not really processing what they’re saying because you don’t realize you’re still in your work clothes. You wince as someone sticks you with something and your entire arm feels cold for a few seconds. You don’t hear a doctor arrive and tell the nurse that changing you can wait. That there are a few questions he needs to ask first.</p><p>“I’m Dr. Skinner, do you remember anything that happened today?”</p><p>The next few minutes felt agonizingly long. You struggle to remember anything beyond the last dog you’d seen and waking up that morning. It doesn’t even occur to you that you left Milo at work, and you mention something about donuts before claiming that your head hurts. It hurts a lot but you can’t tell them why.</p><p>The doctor continues to ask you questions as you receive fluids and a nurse takes your blood. You aren’t even really aware of it as you think about your response.</p><p>“Do you remember hitting your head within the past couple of days?”</p><p>You think back to what happened before work because you assume that you didn’t fall there. Someone would have told you that already, or the doctor would know. You aren’t sure how you ended up here or who even called the ambulance, but you assume it was someone at work. After failing to come up with anything that you hadn’t already said you frown as Dr. Skinner just nods.</p><p>“What about family or friends? Is there anyone who would know?”</p><p>Billie Dean had broken close to half a dozen laws on the way to the hospital. This is how she had made it in less than 15 minutes. She ignores all of the people bustling around the emergency room as she heads for the front desk. There are a couple of people in line ahead of her and it takes all of her willpower not to skip past them. They look worried too, so she just tells herself that it will be fine. You are already here so they were already taking care of you.</p><p>She was just dying to see you.</p><p>Only 5 minutes later Billie Dean makes it to the front of the line. She smiles tightly before saying that she is here to visit you. The woman asks for some details and Billie tells her everything that she knows. That you were admitted after arriving maybe half an hour ago for passing out at work. She mentions that you’d fallen early this morning, and after writing this down the brunette looks to Billie with a frown before adjusting her glasses.</p><p>“It says here that she’s still in triage. You’ll have to wait for a little bit, Ms. Howard.”</p><p>Billie was afraid of this but after asking how long that might be, she is told it could be anywhere from 10 minutes to a couple of hours. Billie just nods before thanking her and looking for somewhere to sit down. She quickly notices how full the waiting room is and struggles to find a seat where she could have a little more space. Eventually she settles for one of the corners and prepares to wait for a while.</p><p>She looks at her watch and sees that it’s almost 7 o’clock. She hopes that she’ll be able to see you before midnight.</p><p>After you told them that Billie Dean might be able to help, they’d tried to figure out how to get in touch with her. They didn’t have Billie’s cell phone number, and you couldn’t remember it at the moment. Everyone who was trying to get in touch with her found themselves jumping through hoops to do so. They had reached out to her agent, gone on her website, but they hadn’t received a response yet. Dr. Skinner decided to just assume that you had taken a fall at some point, so he recommended a CT scan.</p><p>So, while you were getting ready to be taken downstairs, somehow no one figured out, or even thought to check that Billie was actually in the waiting room.</p><p>Milo whined again as he laid back down on the carpet with a sigh. He was staring at Erin who was sitting on the couch trying to watch something on Netflix. She couldn’t concentrate because she was so stressed, and eventually she just turned it off and laid back with a sigh. She closed her eyes trying to figure out what she should do instead when Milo whines again.</p><p>She looked to the shepherd who was staring at her with big sad eyes. He hadn’t done much since getting here. He drank some of the cat’s water, which Dex hadn’t liked before lying down where he was and staying there for the next hour. Erin had already decided that he might have to spend the night with her which she knew he would mind more than she did. She had always wanted a dog and Milo was adorable, but he had his person and he missed her.</p><p>Erin briefly wondered how you were doing before checking her phone. She confirmed her suspicions about not having an update yet before she looked back to Milo with a sigh.</p><p>“Come here, Milo. Come on.”</p><p>Milo didn’t move at first, but when Erin patted the couch again, he got up and wandered over toward her. He whined softly before licking Erin’s hand and jumping up next to her. He practically climbed on top of her which made the brunette release a breathy laugh before she started scratching him behind his ears.</p><p>“I know, Milo. You’ll go home soon okay? Your mom, or um Billie will come get you, but until then you can hang out with me.”</p><p>Milo doesn’t respond, he just rests his head on top of Erin’s before yawning loudly. He starts panting happily and his leg starts twitching when the brunette finds his favorite scratch spot. Erin laughs and Milo just licks her affectionately before lying down on top of her.</p><p>Erin just sighs, realizing that she’s stuck here for at least a little while, before reaching for the remote. She supposes she can see if Milo has a favorite show.</p><p>Billie was starting to worry. She’d been sitting around for nearly 2 hours and still no word on your condition. She’d gone up to the same woman so many times that she’d been told that she had to wait at least 30 minutes until she could check in again. All she knew at this point is that you had gotten a CT scan and still weren’t ready for visitors.</p><p>Billie taps her foot anxiously against the tile as she looks around the room. So many people have come and gone while she’s been here that she barely recognizes any of them. Not that she’s really been paying attention. Her mind is on you and only you. Which is why when people start whispering and pointing, she doesn’t even notice.</p><p>She had known that you shouldn’t have gone into work today. She’s walked the stairs at your apartment before, they weren’t very forgiving, and the thought of you falling and hitting your head on them made her worry spike dramatically.</p><p>She hated this.</p><p>She was just sitting around being useless while you were in pain. She looks back over to the desk as a new woman takes the receptionist’s place. Watching them change shifts just makes her feel even antsier as it was a reminder of how much time had passed. She forces herself to stay in her seat as she tries to calm down a little.</p><p>She knew you would be fine. You had gone into work and called her on lunch and you’d felt fine. Maybe you just over did it at work and needed some rest. This wasn’t too serious right?</p><p>Billie didn’t even believe this as she thought about all of the things that a CT could tell them. She hated herself for not fighting your decision to go to work more. She knew you were too damn stubborn, but she should have fought you on this. It was too important. Instead, she’d let herself believe that you’d be annoyed with her so she let you go to work without a fight. Now she was sitting in the emergency room losing her mind because she had absolutely no idea how you were doing.</p><p>She wondered if anyone did. Other than the doctor treating you of course.</p><p>You didn’t have any family in the area which Billie was well aware of, but this raised the question of who your emergency contact was. Who was the hospital going to call in a situation like this? You had never mentioned having any friends and the thought made Billie’s heart ache. Had you always been alone like this, or was it done intentionally after your dad died?</p><p>Billie’s thoughts were cut short by the sound of someone saying her name. She turns to see the receptionist, a blonde this time, on the phone. She glances her way every now and then and Billie nearly gets up when she finally hangs up the phone. She looks over to Billie, and the medium is already out of her seat by the time the woman speaks up.</p><p>“Ms. Howard?”</p><p>Billie Dean makes her way back to the desk and can’t help the spike of adrenaline she feels at the possibility of news.</p><p>“Yes, is there any news about Y/N?”</p><p>Billie watches as the blonde, a little younger than the last woman, looks at her slightly anxious before clearing her throat.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am. They’ve actually been trying to call you for a while, but they’re ready for you now.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t say anything immediately. She’s relieved that she finally gets to see you, but hearing that they’ve been trying to reach her makes her stop short. How did they try getting in contact with her? How long have they been trying to figure out that she has been out here for hours? She’s more than a little annoyed by this and the blonde in front of her, Lisa, can tell so she’s quick to redirect her to a nurse who just appeared in the waiting room.</p><p>“Ms. Howard. She can take you to see Dr. Y/L/N, if you’re ready?”</p><p>Billie follows the nurse down a long hallway and past a lot of rooms. She’s not letting herself get distracted by all of the energies that surround her in this building. It had been easier to ignore while just in the waiting room, but now it was almost impossible with so many sick patients around her.</p><p>She closes her eyes briefly to try and shut some of the voices out, but she nearly trips over the nurse as she stops to check on something at one of patient’s rooms. She calls over another nurse to take care of it though before she continues on toward your room.</p><p>“Sorry about the wait, Ms. Howard. No one knew how to get in contact with you, and the front desk is always so busy…”</p><p>Billie doesn’t say anything immediately as she tries to figure out how they would have gone about getting in touch with her. She decides to ask this though because she’s too scatterbrained at the moment to figure it out. She nearly sighs at what the nurse tells her.</p><p>“Do you know how they tried to contact me?”</p><p>The nurse looks a little unsettled before she mentions that you hadn’t been able to remember her number so they’d reached out to her agent and even went to her website. If Billie had been less worried, she would have rolled her eyes at this. She needed to have a talk with someone, but for now all she cared about was that you were awake.</p><p>“Y/N’s awake?”</p><p>Billie doesn’t receive a verbal response because as the nurse comes to a stop at one of the rooms, she looks inside and sees you lying in bed. She’s already moving to step inside the room when she hears you call her name. You’re a little out of it from the drugs you’ve been given, but you still manage to smile when you spot the familiar blonde. You watch as Billie rushes over to you and you try to move your hand to reach out for her, but you’re too weak.</p><p>“Billie.”</p><p>Billie smiles widely as she grabs your hand with a relieved sigh. She’s so happy to see you, and she leans over to kiss your forehead without a second thought.</p><p>“Sweetheart, how are you feeling? God it’s good to see you.”</p><p>You smile at Billie’s words before squeezing her hand tighter with a groan. You feel pretty bad still, but you’re glad to at least be resting. You’re waiting for the doctor to come back with your CT results, and you tell Billie this after you mention your slightly better headache.</p><p>“I feel slightly better, but worse? I guess you were right, hmm?”</p><p>You manage a smile before you close your eyes again to try and keep the migraine you know is coming, at bay. You miss Billie shaking her head with a sad smile as she moves some of your hair from your face. You can’t help but cringe slightly at the touch, but luckily Billie understands why.</p><p>“I didn’t want to be right, Y/N. I hate that you’re hurting.”</p><p>You smile before opening your mouth to respond, but you stop short when your head throbs painfully. You squeeze your eyes shut before cursing under your breath. Billie’s frown deepens as she watches you grimace, both of her hands gripping yours tightly.</p><p>“Y/N, do you need-?”</p><p>“Ms. Howard. Glad you could join us.”</p><p>Billie turns at the sound of Dr. Skinner’s voice and she can’t help but frown at his tone. He’s a tall man with a bad haircut, and he’s wearing a smile that makes Billie’s want to smack him. Just a little. She decides not to point out the fact that she had been sitting in the damn waiting room for two hours, not that he had even bothered to check. Instead, she turns to him with a fake smile and a questioning look.</p><p>“As am I. How is Y/N?”</p><p>Billie decides to cut to the chase because the less this man talks the better. His loud voice makes Y/N cringe and the smell of his aftershave was making Billie nauseous. Still, she listens to what Dr. Skinner has to say because she’s not sure you really can at the moment.</p><p>“Well Ms. Y/L/N didn’t fall hard enough to cause any serious injury, only a mild concussion.”</p><p>Billie speaks before she can stop herself, but she doesn’t regret it even as she sees Dr. Skinner frown at her. She doesn’t care who he is. He doesn’t get to disrespect you.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N. She’s a doctor.”</p><p>Dr. Skinner just nods before getting back to what he was saying. He hadn’t believed you when you said that your only contact was Billie Dean Howard. He didn’t have time for TV, especially not reality television, and he only vaguely knew who the medium was. He’d looked you up and been surprised to find that you were telling the truth. He’d merely rolled his eyes when you’d claimed to be dating the medium. He originally thought you had just been high on pain medication at that point and were spouting your random fantasies. However, seeing the medium in here now with you made him a tad spiteful.</p><p>“Right. A vet. Well Ms. Howard, can you tell me about Dr. Y/L/N’s fall?”</p><p>Billie has to bite her tongue at the brunette’s tone before she just nods in agreement. She glances back at you to confirm that you’re still sleeping, or at least resting before she tells Dr. Skinner all that she knows. It wasn’t much beyond the fact that you’d fallen down some stairs this morning and hit your head. She corrects herself when she sees Dr. Skinner open his mouth to speak, and he stops short before shooting Billie a questioning look.</p><p>“Well pushed actually. She was pushed.”</p><p>Dr. Skinner looks to where you’re mumbling in your sleep before shaking his head. He knows he needs to ask so he does reluctantly with an inaudible sigh.</p><p>“Does she want to report it to the police?”</p><p>Billie doesn’t actually know the answer to this. You hadn’t mentioned wanting to, but she definitely did. This wasn’t something that was just a bad joke. Someone had tried to hurt you and they had, badly. Even if there was no serious injury, it was still assault.</p><p>“I will need to ask, but probably.”</p><p>The doctor nods before mentioning that a nurse can come back in and go over the procedure for that later. He wanted to keep Y/N here overnight for observation despite just having a mild concussion. He told Billie that you need to take it easy for the next few days at least. No work, driving, and limit screen time and physical activity to prevent possibly reinjuring your head. You were going to experience a lot of headaches so you probably needed someone to stay nearby.</p><p>When he said this Billie frowned as she tried to figure out how this could be possible. She knew you liked being independent and that you and Milo managed just fine. Well until moments like this, but hopefully they would be far and in between after this. Billie didn’t get to decide what she wanted to do before she heard your voice. It was quiet and sleepy making Billie frown as your words registered.</p><p>“I do-don’t want to stay here.”</p><p>Billie moved away from the doctor and back towards where you were shifting restlessly. You groaned before opening your eyes just barely to see Billie standing beside you. You hated how helpless you felt here, and you needed to get back to your dog.</p><p>“Sweetie, maybe you should stay here? They will be able to take care of you.”</p><p>You shake your head before muttering something that Billie can’t understand. She didn’t get a chance to ask you to repeat yourself though before Dr. Skinner was speaking. Billie had to stop herself from snapping at him as he left the room.</p><p>“If she doesn’t want to stay here, she needs to stay with someone else. I’ll leave you two to talk. A nurse will be in shortly.”</p><p>Billie breathes out a sigh of relief once he’s gone and she takes a second to look around the room. She moves to grab the chair that looks only slightly more comfortable than the one in the waiting room before coming to sit by your bedside. She reaches for your hand again before trying to figure out what she should do.</p><p>She would love for you to come stay with her. She had an easy next couple of days and would be able to keep an eye on you. That said, she had a feeling you wouldn’t want to do this, but she figured she should ask before she got too far.</p><p>“You don’t want to stay here?”</p><p>You shook your head before muttering something about going home that made Billie sigh. This probably wouldn’t work because she had the kittens to worry about, and Dr. Skinner said that someone needed to stay with you. Billie sighed before she decided to try and ask you what you would like. She could tell you weren’t completely present, either due to the pain or the medication you’d been given, but she still had to try. She didn’t want to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.</p><p>“Well, you can’t stay at your place alone, honey. The doctor said you need someone to watch you.”</p><p>You completely miss the point that Billie’s trying to make as you just shake your head again with a scowl. You pull your hand away from Billie and point to yourself with a sigh.</p><p>“Well t-this doctor says I can go home alone. With Milo too.”</p><p>Billie seems to realize that you are too tired to hold a conversation right now. She decides to cut her losses and be as direct as possible with you. Billie has a feeling it was the only way to get to your scrambled brain. She reaches out for you and places a hand on your arm to get your attention. When you turn to her with a pitifully tired look, Billie smiles.</p><p>“Do you want to come stay with me? You can bring Milo, of course.”</p><p>Usually, you would argue because you didn’t want to be an inconvenience. However, right now, you were tired, your head hurt and you really wanted to get in a more comfortable bed.</p><p>For this reason, you nod, before immediately regretting it as you hiss in pain.</p><p>“Yes, please. Can I?”</p><p>Billie just smiles at you before nodding. She’ll talk to the doctor or nurse and figure out how to get you home as fast as possible. She would figure out picking up Milo tomorrow since it was so late, but for now her main concern was you. You smile dopily at Billie before you close your eyes again with a yawn.</p><p>“Thank you, Billie Dean.”</p><p>Billie just sighs as she watches you fall asleep again. She is glad that you are finally able to get some rest, but she isn’t quite sure how she’s going to get you home. Billie turns as a nurse walks into the room and she sighs realizing that she has a little more to do here before she has to worry about it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Two in one weekend again? That better not be a thing…I hope you enjoy. </p><p>Warnings: some hurt/comfort, angst and brief mention of physical assault</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the entire drive to Billie’s house, you sleep soundly in the front seat while Billie stresses about how these next few days are going to work out. You had been too out of it to walk to the car, so Billie had pushed you in a wheelchair to the parking deck. You’d hated it and grumbled the whole time but it was so nonsensical that she didn’t even bother trying to follow what you were saying.</p><p>Now that you were at Billie’s, the medium hoped that she didn’t regret her decision to decline to take the chair with her. You’d convinced her that you could walk. You just needed a nap and then maybe some dinner first. You were starving. Billie hadn’t argued because she didn’t want to waste your energy, but as she tried to get you out of the car, she realized that maybe she should have.</p><p>“Come on, Y/N. Can you stand for me?”</p><p>You just groan under your breath still too tired to do much more than open your eyes. You looked to Billie on your right and whine in frustration when you realize what she’d asked. You shake your head before reaching out for the blonde. You were going to try. You were determined to not just be dead weight to the woman who had waited for way longer than you expected, just to see you.</p><p>With this in mind you grit your teeth—but then stop immediately because wow that hurt-before grabbing Billie’s offered hand. You could do this. You weren’t an invalid, your head just hurt a lot and you were exhausted.</p><p>“Woah.”</p><p>When you make it to your feet you sway slightly, but Billie is there to steady you. She catches you and closes the door behind you, shooting you an apologetic look when you cringe at the sound. She is about to offer you her hand, in case you want to try walking on your own, but you just cling to her arm before muttering under your breath.</p><p>“Okay, I’m ready.”</p><p>Billie nods and you make your way towards the house. She lets you set the pace and you can’t believe how far away her front door is after only five steps from the car. You feel like you should be there already but you’re going so slowly it’s maddening. You sigh as you close your eyes and try to move a little faster. This results in you feeling like your brain is rattling around inside of your skull, so you slow back down before groaning under your breath in frustration.</p><p>“It’s okay, sweetheart. Take your time.”</p><p>You sigh before opening your eyes and trying to focus on Billie. It’s too dark to really see her, but you’re close enough to smell her perfume and you hate how it makes you slightly nauseous. You keep this thought to yourself; however, as you squeeze Billie’s arm before taking another step.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I hate this.”</p><p>Billie smiles slightly at your petulant tone before her expression turns darker. She has already started working to figure out who did this to you and she was determined to make him pay for it. She wasn’t sure how yet, and she had to talk to you first, but she didn’t want to let this slide. You could have been seriously hurt.</p><p>“You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. None of this is your fault.”</p><p>You want to argue, but you just stay silent as you and Billie finally make it to the front door. She has to loosen her grip on you a little so she can find her keys and you catch yourself leaning on her, so you try to stand up a little straighter. You reach out for the door to hold yourself up and you realize immediately why that was supremely stupid.</p><p>The door disappears out from under you as Billie opens it, and you close your eyes as you prepare to fall on your face. You’re lucky that Billie is right there to catch you, otherwise you would have fallen for the second time in one day. You don’t count passing out at work.</p><p>“Shi-!”</p><p>“Here, hold onto me.”</p><p>You reach out for Billie in answer and you lean into her once again as you cross over the threshold with a groan. The house was quiet which you were grateful for, but you didn’t have much time the bask in the silence before Billie’s speaking. You don’t have it in you to ask her to be quieter because you already owe her so much, so you just follow her and hold back the urge to cringe.</p><p>“Are you hungry, or do you want to just go straight to bed? I can set up the guest room for you so it’s as quiet as possible.”</p><p>You nod slowly before you look toward the stairs. They seem like such an obstacle and you nearly groan at the thought of having to walk up them. You smile slightly before looking back to Billie with what you hope is more of a grateful expression than a grimace.</p><p>“Bed please.”</p><p>Billie nods before directing you towards the stairs, and you want to try on your own just to prove that you can do it, but you know it’s not a good idea. So you let Billie lead you up the stairs and towards the guest bedroom. You’d never seen it before, but it was similar to Billie’s except for the bed. You didn’t really care though, you only wanted to sleep so you nod when Billie asks you if it was alright.</p><p>You watch as she gets things ready, offering to help, but she doesn’t let you. Once everything’s done, you shoot Billie a grateful look before sitting down on the bed with a sigh.</p><p>“Thank you, Billie.”</p><p>Billie just smiles at you before letting you know that she’ll be downstairs if you need anything. You look to your phone that’s on the bedside table but decide not the bother right now. You weren’t supposed to look at screens too much. It would certainly aggravate your headache.</p><p>As you watch Billie leave, you wish you would have been more specific when you thanked her. You sigh as you get a little more comfortable. Despite how much you slept you really are tired, and you could probably sleep through the night. At least what’s left of it. Once under the covers you close your eyes and try not to focus on anything but sleep. You don’t worry about work right now, or Milo despite wondering where he is. The only reason you hadn’t asked yet was because you trusted Billie to make sure he was taken care of.</p><p>Despite your efforts, you find your mind drifting back to your dog and work and how you thoroughly fucked up. You should have listened to Billie, but you hated making others pick up the slack for you. You also didn’t think it would be this bad. You shift again under the covers to try and cover your face with a groan. The room was dark and quiet except for the sound of your thundering pulse behind your eyes. As you laid there trying and failing to sleep you start to realize that Billie must be cooking something.</p><p>The smell of food reminds you that you are very, very hungry. You don’t think that you ate at the hospital, but honestly up until Billie showed up, it was all a blur. You may have answered questions and you had a few tests done, but you honestly couldn’t say what they told you. Were you in the clear?</p><p>Almost 30 minutes pass of you trying to find the best position to keep your headache from worsening before you give up. You can’t just lie here and overthink. You need to do something.</p><p>After Billie finishes making dinner, she considers bringing you some for almost ten minutes. She eventually decides not to and to just let you sleep, but she can’t help but be restless as she tries to find ways to keep herself busy. She checks on the kittens and ends up taking Mickey downstairs as she considers texting Erin. Eventually she decides that the younger woman was probably still up. Midnight wasn’t that late. Also, she believes that she might appreciate being kept in the loop. Billie texts her a quick update before moving back to the kitchen.</p><p>She’d changed clothes shortly after getting you into bed, and now she was walking around with Mickey in her pocket again. He was doing much better and hadn’t been at the bottom of any kitten piles recently. He was getting so big and was doing so much better at getting around on his own. At least compared to what he had been since his fall. He was almost as big as his brothers and sisters, and although this is mostly because Billie’s been feeding him more, she couldn’t be happier.</p><p>Billie is cleaning up the kitchen when her phone vibrates from the living room. She finishes up what she’s doing before drying her hands and going to see what Erin said.</p><p>Billie had simply told her that you were fine and then thanked her for taking care of Milo. She didn’t want to consider all of the logistics of getting Milo back, and possibly some of your things. It had been an exhausting day stressing about you and then stressing even more about you. Billie was ready to sleep, but she needed to stay up in case you needed anything.</p><p>
  <em>Of course! I’m glad to hear she’s doing better. Is there anything I can do to help? </em>
</p><p>Billie smiles slightly at this because Erin seemed like such a sweetheart. She was reminded once again of how glad she was that you had Erin at work with you. She clearly cared about you and Billie was grateful that she had been at work with you today.</p><p>
  <em>No thank you. You’re doing enough already by taking care of Milo. Is he causing any trouble? </em>
</p><p>A few messages later Erin asks how she wants to get Milo back. Billie’s tempted to wait and ask you, but she knows that’s not going to work. Even worse she’s sure you’ll want to get him yourself and go back to your place in the morning. Once you were up and hopefully a little less confused, she would tell you exactly what your doctor said about taking it easy.</p><p>You weren’t supposed to drive for the next couple of days at least. You couldn’t work, watch television or any screen really, or exercise much. Billie figured you could stay here for a couple of days until you were better, and she would be fine with Milo coming here too. Billie honestly didn’t have anything that couldn’t be put off. At least until the interview on Wednesday.</p><p>All thoughts about how she was going to make that work left her mind when she heard her name from the other room. She’d returned to the kitchen for a drink and sat at the counter to text Erin. She hadn’t heard you coming down the stairs, but as she walks back into the living room to see you sitting on the bottom step, she wonders how in the hell she had missed it.</p><p>“Y/N, what are you doing out of bed? Do you need something?”</p><p>You just groan under your breath because now your head was spinning. You had known that trying to get down the stairs on your own was dumb, but you’d done it anyway in the safest way you knew how. You’d sat down at the top and scooted in a very undignified way all the way down. You just couldn’t lie in bed any longer not sleeping. You were thinking too much and you wanted to do something.</p><p>It didn’t take long for you to decide that you wanted to see Billie.</p><p>“Not really. I just couldn’t sleep. Was getting restless.”</p><p>You open your eyes and look up to see that Billie has changed clothes. You haven’t seen her so casually dressed and you smile at her before trying to stand up. You plant your hands on the stair beneath you before trying to push yourself to your feet.</p><p>“You look cute. I probably look a mess.”</p><p>You don’t make it to your feet because your head throbs at the sudden change, but Billie grabs your hand to steady you. You sigh as you move in to hug her but you stop short as you do a double take at the tail sticking out of her pocket. Oh.</p><p>Mickey.</p><p>“Nonsense, sweetheart. You’re adorable with bedhead.”</p><p>You sigh because rolling your eyes is too much effort before you squeeze Billie’s hand. You go to say something snarky when your stomach growls loudly. You blush before muttering an apology that Billie just smiles at. It’s late and she’s not surprised that you’re hungry. She starts heading for the kitchen before she remembers to slow down.</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>“No need to apologize. I made dinner if you want some.”</p><p>Despite your protests to help, you sit patiently at the counter and wait for your dinner. You watch through squinted eyes as Billie moves around the kitchen with Mickey in her pocket. You smile as Billie places a plate of food in front of you before moving to start putting everything away again.</p><p>“Do you want something to drink other than water?”</p><p>You look to the glass that you haven’t touched before smiling slightly at the subtle reminder. You know that Billie isn’t going to let you drink anything else. At least not until you finish this.</p><p>“I’m fine. Thank you. For this and, well everything else you’ve done tonight. I’m sorry if I didn’t say it sooner.”</p><p>You suddenly fear that you hadn’t said anything at all since you got here and you panic. You don’t get a chance to keep apologizing however before Billie responds as she finishes up and comes to sit next to you.</p><p>“You did, Y/N, and you’re welcome. I’m more than happy to.”</p><p>Billie scoots her chair closer to yours and you sigh before nodding to yourself and grabbing your fork. You look back to Mickey who is now peeking out of Billie’s pocket. You smile at him before reaching out to scratch his head with a sigh. He makes you think of Milo, and even though you promised yourself you wouldn’t ask you can’t help it. He’s your baby and you can’t help but want to know how he is.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>Billie knows what you’re going to ask before you even say it, but she doesn’t interrupt you as you turn back to your food. You take a couple of bites before you turn to her with a curious look.</p><p>“Is Milo still at work?”</p><p>Billie could see how hesitant you were so she didn’t waste any time shaking her head. She tells you that Milo is with Erin and that he’s behaving like a good boy. You smile, happy to hear this, but you can’t deny the guilt you feel at having left him without any warning. You know that you can’t blame yourself and agonizing over it would be silly, but you miss your dog.</p><p>“He’s fine, Y/N. Erin offered to bring him over tomorrow morning.”</p><p>You smile gratefully before you go back to your food. You’re starving, but after a couple of minutes you feel your headache getting worse. Billie isn’t talking much, just petting Mickey and watching you as you start to eat slower. Eventually you stop with a groan and cover your eyes with your hands.</p><p>“I’m exhausted. I think I need to lie down.”</p><p>Not twenty minutes later you’re asleep on Billie’s couch because you didn’t want to go upstairs. Billie was resting beside you, but was quickly fading as well. It had been a long exhausting day and it was definitely catching up with her. She had put Mickey with the rest of the cats, so she really had nothing keeping her from falling asleep next to you.</p><p>She didn’t realize that she had truly fallen asleep until the doorbell rang the next morning. She sat up slightly sore and only a little panicky as she hurried to get up and answer the door. She glanced over to you, grateful that you were still asleep before checking the clock in the kitchen. It was almost 8 in the morning. How had she slept so late?</p><p>Billie practically runs to the front door barefoot with her hair looking a mess. She glances at the mirror by the door and just groans before running a hand through her hair uselessly.  She opens the door looking a little more frazzled than she’d like, but she knows it doesn’t really matter. It is Monday morning and she was up until almost 2 am.</p><p>Billie opens the door and sees Erin standing on her porch with Milo sitting next to her practically vibrating in excitement. Billie smiles as she moves to grab the top part of Erin’s impressively large stack of supplies that she’d brought for Milo.</p><p>“Hi, Erin. Thank you for coming over. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how late it was.”</p><p>Erin smiles before thanking Billie for taking Milo’s food and bowls so she could better balance his bed that she’d gotten from your office. She had run to work this morning when she realized that she hadn’t brought enough food for Milo for the unforeseeable future. She had also gotten the bed that you kept under your desk for whenever Milo napped up there with you. It didn’t happen often, but Erin was glad to see it was still there when she ran up to your office to see if there was anything that could be of use.</p><p>“Not a problem, Ms. Howard. I hope I didn’t wake you up. Milo, wait!”</p><p>Billie steps aside to let Erin and Milo in and the brunette has to tighten her hold on Milo’s leash as he tries to dart inside. He is sniffling like crazy and he’s trying to break free, but Erin isn’t sure where you are and doesn’t want you to be ambushed by your overexcited dog.</p><p>Billie smiles as she shuts the door behind the pair and shakes her head with a laugh. She manages to fix her hair, but her wrinkled, very casual clothing will just have to do. It’s not like she really cares that much. Erin seems like a nice girl who has your best interests at heart. Hopefully that meant that she wouldn’t do anything to embarrass you. Or her.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, dear and you don’t have to call me that. Billie is just fine.”</p><p>Erin holds fights back the initial urge to squeal and just nods in agreement as she follows the blonde into her house. She takes off her shoes as she looks around briefly until she sees the living room. Specifically, you sleeping in the living room.</p><p>“You can put that anywhere.”</p><p>Erin’s attention snaps back to Billie before she just nods dumbly before dropping Milo’s bed on the carpet. She nudges it out of the way before she has to grab Milo’s leash with two hands. He had realized you were here and had jumped on the back of the couch to find you. His front feet were only on it for a second before Erin cursed and pulled him down.</p><p>“Milo, no. Get down.”</p><p>Billie watches as Milo starts to yip and whine and try to get to you. You’re rolling onto your side with a groan as you wake up and realize your headache was still with you. You should have known it would be, but you had held out hope, foolish, useless hope that it wouldn’t be. Still, soon that is the second thing on your mind when you sit up to see Billie watching you. It takes you a second to realize that you’re not alone, but when you hear Milo whine you turn suddenly and see him nearly pulling Erin’s arm off.</p><p>“Erin you’re here! It’s not already time for work is it?”</p><p>You miss Erin’s confused look and Billie’s sigh as you turn back to your dog. Milo barks and yanks again before you roll your eyes. You shake your head before sitting up slightly as you prepare for the onslaught.</p><p>“You can let him go Erin.”</p><p>Erin shoots you a concerned look before glancing to Billie briefly. You speak before Billie has a chance to shrug and Erin drops Milo’s leash hesitantly.</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p>Milo doesn’t run around the couch like you thought he would. Instead, he leaps over it and jumps into your lap with another series of whines that make your head hurt.</p><p>“Milo! Jesu-.”</p><p>You grab Milo’s shoulders but don’t stop him as he licks you frantically and steps on your legs. You sigh as Milo licks your face before you push him back a little bit. You finally calm him down before getting him to sit at your feet instead of on top of you. He won’t get off the couch though and you don’t have the energy to fight him on it. You look back to Erin when she speaks up to clarify something that she’s not sure you realize yet.</p><p>“Well Milo was getting antsy so I thought I’d bring him a little early. I also don’t have work today. Neither of us do.”</p><p>You take a second to realize this before shaking your head with a smile. You suddenly remember why you’re here in the first place, and you feel a little embarrassed as you try to figure out what to say. You’re not sure if Erin realizes this, but Billie certainly does and she speaks up to fill the slightly awkward silence.</p><p>“When is Y/N expected back at work?”</p><p>You turn to Billie before looking back to Erin who is considering the question. You smile at Billie, shooting her a grateful look that she misses as she watches Erin pull out her phone. She quickly pulls up the email that the lead doctor sent to both of you.</p><p>“Dr. Stewart says you can have as much time off as you need and that she’s cleared your week. Here’s the email if you want to read it.”</p><p>Erin walks over to you and hands her phone over with a smile. She can see your confusion, but figures that is due to the fact that you’d been sleeping and hadn’t checked your email yet. Billie opens her mouth to say something, but you beat her to it.</p><p>“Dr. Stewart cleared my whole week?”</p><p>It is a rhetorical question and Erin just nods in response as you read the email. By the time you finish you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment before handing Erin back her phone. You’re glad that your boss had the foresight to send the email to her as well, knowing full well that you wouldn’t check your own. You hadn’t even looked at your phone since you’d called Billie yesterday.</p><p>“That’s great news.”</p><p>There’s a pause as you close your eyes again to try and will away your headache, but it’s short lived as Milo starts to lick your hand.</p><p>“Thank you by the way. For yesterday and today. Just everything.”</p><p>You smile awkwardly and Erin just waves you off before saying that it’s fine. You had scared the hell out of her yesterday and she isn’t sure she’s ever been so stressed in her life, but she wasn’t going to say that. She was just glad that you were okay, and that Milo was well-behaved. He had just slept the whole time he was with her and only scared her cat once.</p><p>“Of course, Doc.”</p><p>Billie smiles at the exchange between the two of you before she remembers her manners. She’s a little tired still, or at least thrown about not having any time to wake up before having company over. She’s looking to the kitchen before glancing back to the brunette who is pocketing her phone.</p><p>“Would you like anything to drink, Erin?”</p><p>Erin was quick to shake her head despite the fact that the idea of hanging out with Billie Dean was making her slightly faint. She had to get back home to her cat, but mostly she could tell how tired you still were and she didn’t want to linger. She sighs before motioning to the door behind her with a smile.</p><p>“No thank you. I should get going. Unless there is anything that either of you need?”</p><p>Both you and Billie smile before shaking your heads. You cringe as a result, and neither Billie nor Erin misses this. Billie frowns before smiling back at Erin. She let’s her know that she’s done more than enough before watching as she leaves. You thank her again before moving to stand up, but you don’t get far. Milo jumps up too, messing up your balance and you fall back down on the couch with a curse.</p><p>“How am I still tired?”</p><p>You groan as you try to get Milo off the couch again, but you are about a successful as the first time. You watch as Billie circles the couch before coming to sit next to you. She takes Milo’s spot as the shepherd finally jumps down and plants himself practically on your feet. You sigh but can’t help the small smile at the sight of your dog so happy to see you again. You’d missed him too but you didn’t have the energy to communicate that properly.</p><p>“That’s normal after an injury like yours. Or so Dr. Skinner says.”</p><p>You turn to Billie with a smile, immediately recognizing her ticked tone. You don’t remember much about last night, but you had easily picked up on Billie’s less-than-happy tone when she’d been talking to your doctor. You sigh again before leaning against the medium with a chuckle. You ask despite not really knowing whether or not it’s a good idea to bring it up.</p><p>“Not a fan I’m guessing?”</p><p>Billie scoffs as she thinks back to the man who had the gall to suggest that she’d taken her time getting to the hospital, or that you weren’t a real doctor because you treated animals instead of people. Billie didn’t think you had picked up on any of this so she just shook her head before saying something vague that didn’t really answer your question.</p><p>“No, he was a little too arrogant for my taste.”</p><p>You frown as you try to consider what Dr. Skinner could have done to piss Billie off. You had learned early that it was difficult to ruffle Billie’s feathers. She was usually so unflappable, but if someone pushed the right buttons, they would find themselves in a very unenviable position. You could only hope that you never did anything to wind up in such a position.</p><p>“He did raise a good point though.”</p><p>You open your eyes slightly as you meet Billie’s gaze. At least you try to, but she’s looking at Milo who is still watching you intently.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>You wait as Billie sits back against the couch with a sigh. You follow her and she wraps an arm around you as you move closer to her with a yawn. You haven’t showered and after being in the hospital, you feel dirtier than you have in a while. You don’t care about this right now though, all of your attention is on Billie as she sighs again before mentioning what she’d talked about with a nurse. You’d been unconscious and apparently had missed a lot.</p><p>“He asked whether or not you wanted to file a police report about what happened.”</p><p>You don’t answer immediately. You hadn’t really thought about this even after Billie reminded you of what happened last night. You still couldn’t remember most of it, but the medium had told you the gist of the incident and you were miffed of course, but didn’t really think about taking action against him. Doug was an asshole that had been mostly harmless in the past. You hadn’t really feared for your safety around him, but you guess that’s no longer that case.</p><p>You frown and think about why Doug had pushed you down the stairs in the first place. He clearly had it out for you and wanted you to know it. If you ever crossed his path in the future, would he try this type of thing again? It was a lot to think about and you could feel a headache coming on as you squeezed your eyes shut.</p><p>“I don’t know, Billie. I-.”</p><p>You trail off as you take a deep breath and try to finish your thought. You lose it somewhere between seeing Milo’s head resting on the couch next to you and feeling Billie pull you closer.</p><p>“I don’t know. I don’t--. I don’t want trouble. I probably won’t see him again.”</p><p>Billie is prepared to argue with you on this when her phone vibrates on the table nearby. You jump and cringe and Billie curses as she reaching for the annoying device to silence it. Billie briefly wonders who is calling her before 8 on a Sunday. Then she remembers that it’s Monday.</p><p>Still, it seems too early.</p><p> She sees it’s Michelle and she answers with a sigh as she shoots you an apologetic look.</p><p>“Hi, Michelle. How are you?”</p><p>You lean back against the couch trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s not hard to pick up on what Michelle is saying in an otherwise silent room.</p><p>“Hi Ms. Howard. I’m fine thank you. I wanted to check in after your night. See if you needed anything?”</p><p>You perk up slightly at this because Billie does too and it only takes you a few seconds to realize that she hadn’t told Michelle about what happened last night. Billie sighs as she immediately starts thinking about the damage that had been done in the media with last night’s incident.</p><p>“I’m fine. Thank you, Michelle. Unless you’re going to tell me that TMZ did a bit on Y/N’s hospital visit?”</p><p>There is an audible silence as Michelle figures out how to break the news to Billie. There had been numerous reports about your hospital visit and a couple of reporters had even gotten footage of you being wheeled out of the clinic and into the ambulance. She tells Billie this and you can feel her stiffen in anger with each word Michelle says.</p><p>“They are speculating wildly as usual, but no one has anything other than theories at this point. Would you like me to have Jeff make a statement?”</p><p>You are shaking your head the same time that Billie is. Although you’re not sure about filing a police report, you want to make that decision before you share anything with the media. Billie is on the same page as you and she tells Michelle to say nothing for now and to get back to her if anything changes.</p><p>Billie hangs up the phone, and not two seconds later you’re cursing.</p><p>“That didn’t take long.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This one is longer because I’m trying to finish this story up. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Mind the warnings.</p><p>Warnings: angst, mentions of domestic violence (I put *** at beginning and end as usual), and hints of domestic fluff</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the day was pretty boring after Erin dropped off Milo. You were still a little tired and spent most of the day lazing around. It wasn’t due to a lack of energy though. You wanted to do something, but Billie kept making you relax. You would get up for a drink or to walk Milo, but she would insist on doing it for you. She assured you that she wasn’t too busy to help out. She didn’t have a lot scheduled for the next couple of days, just a few calls and those didn’t seem to last long. You had stopped trying to argue with her after the third time she told you to sit.</p><p>At first it was weird for you to stay at Billie’s house and do absolutely nothing. You didn’t realize how much you weren’t allowed to do until deciding to stay put on the couch. You tried turning on the television and Billie had shot you a look from where she was working at the dining room table. You were going to go stir crazy if you had to keep sitting around.  </p><p>The second night you spend at Billie’s was worse than the first. You weren’t as tired this time, so it was more difficult for you to fall asleep. You also had Milo with you which you loved until he would wake up to scratch or wander around the room. Any noise from him aggravated your headache and you ended up kicking him out to go sleep downstairs. You made sure that the laundry room door was closed before going back to sleep. Or at least trying to.</p><p>It was 2 am before your headache went away enough to sleep, and you were woken up by scratching at the door around 7 am. Luckily it stopped pretty quickly, and you know you had Billie to thank for that. When you finally woke up, you had breakfast waiting for you and Milo was already taken care of. So, there was nothing for you to do other than eat and sit around.</p><p>The only problem was that you’d been doing this for hours. You finally grew tired of staring at the ceiling around 3 in the afternoon and you sit up with a sigh.</p><p>You look around the room to see that Billie is still working on something. You sneak a peek at Milo before looking at the clock again. It’s been a while since he’s gone out, so you know you should walk him soon. You sigh before reaching out for him and mouthing the word ‘walk’ with a smile.</p><p>He starts to wag his tail and you look back over to Billie to see that she hasn’t caught on yet. You know that the likelihood of you out running the medium is slim to none, but you might as well try. You turn back to Milo about to tell him to get his leash when Billie’s voice startles you.</p><p>“Where do you think you’re going, Y/N?”</p><p>You turn back to Billie to see that she’s looking at you with a frown and a raised eyebrow that would usually make you cave. However, you are very bored and just want to walk your dog. You don’t even have to go that far. Just to the damn street.</p><p>“I was going to walk Milo.”</p><p>This is what Billie expected you to say and she starts to stand up. You shake your head as you tell Milo to get his leash with a sigh.</p><p>“Billie. No, I can do it. Please. I can’t sit around anymore.”</p><p>You watch as Milo flees and Billie gets up and walks over to you. You’re pouting and doing your best to get Billie to give in, but she’s not budging. She moves to sit next to you with a sigh before shaking her head as Milo returns with his leash which he drops in your lap.</p><p>“Y/N, you’re really not supposed to--.”</p><p>You cut Billie off because you’ve heard this before. You were supposed to just sit on your ass all day and do nothing and you hated it. You are grateful for everything that Billie’s done to help you, but you really needed to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Even if only for a few minutes.</p><p>“Please Billie! I just need to get out for a bit. Please?”</p><p>Billie stares at you as she contemplates her options. She is actually surprised that you’ve lasted this long without disobeying your doctor’s orders. You had accepted all of the restrictions that she had put in place with minimal argument, so she supposes she should let you have this. It would only be for a few minutes anyways.</p><p>“Alright, but I’m coming with you.”</p><p>You smile in excitement before nodding a little too vigorously. You remember last second to keep your face neutral so Billie doesn’t have a reason to take it back. She watches as you get Milo’s leash on and move to stand up, but she beats you to it. She’s up and holding out and hand for you and you smile gratefully before taking it with a sigh.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Billie just smiles as she meets you halfway for a quick kiss. Your smile widens before you pet Milo and ask him again if he’s ready for a walk. He yips before jumping up on you only to be pushed down quickly. You shoot him a half-hearted glare before telling him to calm down.</p><p>“No, Milo. We’re going on a walk, but we’re going to take it nice and slow okay?”</p><p>Billie smiles as Milo just pants happily before heading for the door. You follow him and quickly put on your shoes.</p><p>You still haven’t gotten Billie to agree to take you back to your apartment to get some of your things. You were wearing the only clothes of Billie’s that fit you, and although they were fine you felt a little weird. You were very particular about your things which is why the next item on your list was getting back to your place to at least get a change of clothes.</p><p>That was a battle for a different day though.</p><p>“Remember, we could run into reporters, Y/N.”</p><p>You of course, hadn’t thought about this and you pause as you consider how you will handle it. Your first thought is to just ignore them, but then you realize that never really works. You sigh as you shake your head with a smile before looking to Milo.</p><p>“Milo will scare them away.”</p><p>Both you and Billie look to Milo who is panting excitedly as he practically bounces while waiting for you to open the door. You smile as you reach out to pet Milo before turning to see Billie rolling her eyes. She doesn’t doubt that Milo can scare people away, but you didn’t like him doing that. He wasn’t an aggressive dog, and you didn’t want people to see him that way. She knew you were mostly joking, but she still decided that maybe she should hold onto him in case he got a little too excited.</p><p>You nod at this before handing Milo’s leash to Billie. You only have to think for a minute about how your dog could easily drag you in the state you’re in before looking to him with a serious expression.</p><p>“Be good Milo. No pulling okay.”</p><p>You wait until Milo calms down a little before opening the door and following Billie out. You squint as you step out into the sunlight, but you feel better as the heat hits your skin. You don’t usually mind lazing around inside, but not being able to watch or read anything is just torture. You follow Billie down the stairs, making sure to hold the railing as you take careful steps. You smile as Billie leads Milo to a nearby tree and your dog sniffs around for something that he’s picked up on. You frown a few seconds later as you see something small run out from behind the tree and into the bushes. Milo goes to chase after it and you open your mouth to call him off, but Billie beats you to it.</p><p>“Milo, no! Leave that poor thing alone, let’s go.”</p><p>You can’t help but smile as you watch Milo turn away from the bushes and follow Billie down the driveway. You realize you’re falling behind when Billie stops and waits for you with an expectant look. You meet her with a smile before grabbing her hand because you can already feel your head start to swim as you look around.</p><p>“You’ll let me know when you need a break?”</p><p>You just smile before nodding in agreement. You really want to get out, but you know better than to push yourself too much. That won’t help you in the long run.</p><p>You, Billie, and Milo walk through the neighborhood mostly in silence. By the time 15 minutes pass you are holding tight to Billie’s arm as you walk with your eyes mostly closed. For this reason, you miss the look Billie shoots you, and you’re surprised when you suddenly stop. You open your eyes to see Billie watching you and you blush slightly when you realize you’ve been caught. You just nod when Billie suggests that it’s time to turn around, and Milo leads the way back to the house.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>You shrug slightly before mentioning that your head hurts, but not too badly. It’s not a lie because it definitely hurts, but not nearly as much as when you left the hospital. You smile as you reach out to pet Milo, but he moves last minute and you nearly fall. You groan as Billie catches you and you just let yourself fall to the ground. You sit down and take a second to breathe before you’re tackled by Milo. You sputter and push him away from you while trying to get his fur out of your mouth. You groan again as Billie pulls him away from you before sitting down. You try to wave her off, but it doesn’t really work and she’s down on the sidewalk beside you before you can even get a word out.</p><p>“It’s fine, Billie. I’m just a little tired.”</p><p>You lean into her with a yawn as you close your eyes again. You could fall asleep here if it weren’t for the fact that you were pretty sure you were sitting at the end of someone’s driveway. Still, Billie lets you rest for a few minutes before Milo starts to whine at you both. Billie sighs and you groan under your breath at your obnoxious dog's behavior.</p><p>“Alright, Milo. Let’s go.”</p><p>The three of you arrive back to Billie’s without any further issues, and you are quick to move to the kitchen before you’re ordered back to the couch. You sit at the counter and put your head down with a sigh. You didn’t check to see what time it was, but you are really hungry and wouldn’t be opposed to eating now. You hear Billie walk up beside you before placing a hand on your shoulder. You don’t move immediately because the cool counter feels nice against your throbbing forehead.</p><p>“Are you hungry?”</p><p>You smile before sitting up, not opening your eyes until you turn to Billie. You ask her if you can cook and she shakes her head before telling you that you should rest. You pout but quickly realize that it’s no use. Billie wasn’t going to give in to you again, at least not so soon. You decide to cut your losses before asking if you can order food which of course Billie agrees to. She is all for not cooking if she doesn’t have to. You also offer to pay and look around for your wallet that Erin brought yesterday. You of course have no idea where it is, but Billie doesn’t really care. She is shaking her head before looking around for her phone. She hadn’t taken it on the walk with her and she was just now realizing how that hadn’t been smart. Luckily, she hadn’t needed it, but now she did and it was nowhere to be found.</p><p>Instead of wasting time looking, she grabs her computer before returning to the kitchen. She nearly trips over Milo who hurries to join you after finishing his post-walk roll-around on the carpet. He bounds over to you with his tail wagging furiously before sitting next to your chair. You scowl at him before apologizing to Billie who just shakes her head with a smile.</p><p>“Sorry about that, he’s a little careless.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. Where do you want to get take out?”</p><p>You’re asleep by the time the food arrives, but you’re woken up by the doorbell. You hear Milo bark once before racing towards the door and you sigh as you try to stifle a yawn. After ordering food, you and Billie had moved back to the living room. She had finished her work for the day and you wanted to cuddle, but as always you ended up falling asleep on her.</p><p>You’d shifted in your sleep at some point, so Billie was able to get up without disturbing you. She stands up and hurries to shush Milo as she opens the door. Standing there is a brunette who is probably in his early twenties carrying a large bag of food that smells great. Billie hears Milo start sniffing furiously, but she ignores him as she looks beyond the person on her porch.</p><p>Down past her driveway there are a couple of cars on the street. They hadn’t been there when you returned on your walk and they definitely didn’t belong to the brunette in front of her. Billie just manages to spot someone in the front seat of one of them before the brunette, Noah, speaks up.</p><p>“Uh, Hi I’m Noah. Here’s your food and uh this.”</p><p>Billie frowns as she takes the bag but watches as Noah moves slightly so he’s standing between her and the cars on the street. She doesn’t get a chance to question this as Noah coughs slightly before speaking up. He’s holding out his hand to her and she looks to the money with a frown.</p><p>“What is this?”</p><p>Noah shifts his weight back and forth before managing to look Billie in the eyes.</p><p>“So those reporters out there gave me this to ask you something, but I don’t like getting in other people’s business, so I’ll just give you that.”</p><p>Billie takes the $50 because she’s too stunned to do anything, but as Noah turns to leave, she finally gathers her wits.</p><p>“Noah, wait.”</p><p>The brunette turns back to the medium, eyeing her and then her scary looking dog before finding his voice.</p><p>“Uh, yes?”</p><p>Billie hands him back the money because honestly she doesn’t need it. She doesn’t really want it. The thought of those reporters trying to bribe her delivery guy is ridiculous, and at the moment the only thing she’s grateful for is the fact that he didn’t go for it.</p><p>“Keep this, dear. You deserve it. But can you tell them one thing for me?”</p><p>The smell of food makes you sit up and you look around excitedly to see Billie and Milo both heading towards you. You run a hand through your hair with a sigh. You’re so glad that you took a shower, but damn your hair was still not behaving. You see Billie smiling in that mischievous way of hers and you can’t help but smile as you tilt your head slightly.  </p><p>“Did you have any trouble?”</p><p>Billie sits down next to you before shaking her head with a laugh. She has to wave Milo off as he tries to sniff each item that she pulls out of the bag. She figures that she should see if you want to eat at the table, but you look so comfortable wrapped up in your blanket that Billie doesn’t want to make you move. She just finishes unpacking the food that’s honestly way too much for the two of you before shrugging.</p><p>“Not at all. Reporters are just camped outside trying to bribe our delivery driver.”</p><p>You roll your eyes at this news as you wrap the blanket around you tighter before you start to survey the food you and Billie ordered. You ask almost absentmindedly.</p><p>“Oh yeah. What did you tell them?”</p><p>Billie smiles as she recalls the look on Noah’s face when she gave him the message for the reporters. She wasn’t sure if he was going to actually do it, but it would be funny either way. It wouldn’t change anything anyway. It was just for her entertainment.</p><p>“I told him to keep the money and to tell the reporters to shove it.”</p><p>You laugh as you shoot Billie a questioning look. You have a feeling that what she’d actually said was a little more colorful, but when Billie just smiles at you, you decide to drop it. You smile as you grab a container of food before handing it to Billie.</p><p>“For you.”</p><p>Billie takes it with a smile before leaning in to kiss your forehead. She pulls away and shoots you a worried look that you just nod at.</p><p>“How are you feeling, sweetheart?”</p><p>You sigh before claiming that you feel better. You smile a little as you mention that your nap helped. You are less tired and your head doesn’t hurt as much. When you say this, Billie realizes that it’s almost time for your medicine again. You were sent home with a couple medications that were supposed to make your headaches better, but so far you’d only taken them a couple of times. You were really bad about remembering to take your meds, and Billie hadn’t realized this until today.</p><p>However, now that she knew, Billie was all over it. She was making sure you took them every 8 to 12 hours whether you were feeling poorly or not. You try to stop her as she heads for the kitchen to grab them for you, but it’s no use.</p><p>“Billie, I can--.”</p><p>“I’ll be right back. Go ahead and start eating.”</p><p>You sigh in defeat before just nodding to yourself. You didn’t like having someone wait on you, but you were glad that if it had to be anyone, that it was Billie. She wasn’t mean or condescending toward you, and it wasn’t a power trip for her. She didn’t hold things over your head like others had.</p><p>You don’t realize how lost in thought you’d been until Billie is back and handing you two pills and a glass of water. You smile appreciatively before taking them both and quickly downing your pills before drinking some of the water. You realize that you haven’t been drinking enough because you nearly drink the whole thing before Billie speaks up.</p><p>“Where did you go?”</p><p>You smile slightly realizing you were caught before you shake your head. You had wanted to wait a little bit to talk about this, but you supposed now was as good a time as any. You put your now empty glass down before fixing your blanket with a sigh. You pat the space next to you waiting for Billie to join you, but Milo beats her to it. You groan before snapping your fingers at your dog and telling him to get down. He doesn’t listen immediately, but when you tell him to get to bed he jumps down and moves around the couch. You can’t see him from here but you assume he does as he’s told because Billie just smiles before she sits down next to you.</p><p>“Is something on your mind?”</p><p>You wait until Billie’s settled before sitting back so you can face her. You nod before trying to figure out what to say first as you fiddle with the blanket wrapped around your shoulders.</p><p>“I was thinking about what you mentioned earlier. About filing a police report?”</p><p>Billie just nods as she waits for you to continue. She’s not sure where you’re going with this, but she decides to wait and see instead of jumping to what she hopes you’re going to say. She watches as you shift uncomfortably before glancing over to where Milo’s situated in his bed.</p><p>“I don’t think I want to do it. I know it’s—it’s probably a good idea, but I just don’t want to get into it.”</p><p>Billie frowns at both your explanation and the way you’re struggling to say whatever is on your mind. She doesn’t like the idea of not knowing what’s bothering you, but she starts to nod anyway. She wants to respect your wishes and if you want to drop it, she’ll drop it. She will just try to get a better explanation later.</p><p>“Okay, you don’t have to tell me.”</p><p>You are surprised by this until you think about what you just said and you curse. You didn’t realize how that sounded and you shake your head quickly before wincing at the action. You move closer to Billie so you can take her hand before deciding to just get it over with. You always worry about someone not wanting to be close to you because of your endless baggage, but you trust Billie and she’s only ever proven that she wants to help you or be there for you. She hasn’t used anything you’ve told her against you.</p><p>“Hey, that’s not what I meant, Billie. I don’t want to get into this mess with Doug because it reminds me of the mess I went through with…her.”</p><p>It takes Billie a minute to figure out who you’re talking about, but you just wait patiently for her to put the pieces together. You know that you should just come out and say it, but it’s embarrassing and you thought that you’d told Billie enough about your ex for at least the next couple months or so.</p><p>You hadn’t expected to be in the situation you were in now, and you definitely hadn’t needed the reminder of how stressful it was to deal with the police.</p><p>You groan under your breath before you hide your head in your hands with a sigh.</p><p>“God, why do I have so much baggage?”</p><p>Your head hurts too much to attempt a joke and you just leave it at that as you plan your next words very carefully. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you frown before turning to face Billie. She’s frowning too, but she seems more worried than you are and you don’t like it.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“You don’t have to tell me Y/N. You know that.”</p><p>You do know this, and you also know that Billie means what she’s saying. She doesn’t push you to do anything you don’t want to, unless it’s for your own good, and you love that about her. This; however, you need to tell her about. Especially if it explains why you are letting that asshole Doug get away with giving you a concussion.</p><p>“I know, but it might help you make sense of this stupid decision.”</p><p>Billie wants to argue with you, but she wants to wait until she has all of the facts first.</p><p>***</p><p>For the next twenty minutes or so you and Billie eat while talking about your past relationship. It wasn’t exactly your idea of good dinner conversation, but you were at least glad to be getting this off your chest. You reiterate how your ex had been manipulative and controlling and how this eventually turned into physical abuse. You tell her how the other woman had gotten joy from making you feel terribly and watching you become the shy, obedient girlfriend that she’d always wanted.</p><p>You realized pretty quickly what was happening and how fucked up it was. You didn’t like to have your voice stifled, but every time you fought against her, she fought back. It got to the point that you didn’t feel safe around her. You didn’t enjoy her presence like you had when you first met, so you tried to leave. You took Milo and you moved back home, and you thought that was the end of it.</p><p>“She showed up really drunk one night when my dad was gone, and we got into a huge fight.”</p><p>You mention how violent things had gotten and how you’d both ended up in the hospital. You had broken your wrist while she had been bitten by Milo who came to your defense. She’d threatened to sue you and you’d threatened to get a restraining order against her when the police showed up to your hospital room.</p><p>Billie watches as you shift uncomfortably before dropping the blanket that you had just been holding to your chest. She waits as you take a deep breath before looking to your dog who had moved back to sit in front of you when you started eating.</p><p>“I was going to do it too, but then she came back and threatened to take Milo from me.”</p><p>You hadn’t believed that she could actually do it, but when she’d shown you the adoption papers that you’d left in your shared apartment you had panicked. You couldn’t risk losing Milo to someone that you knew didn’t really want him. She had treated him as poorly as she’d treated you, only sometimes you were able to redirect her aggression against your dog to you so you didn’t have to pay for any more bites.</p><p>“I agreed that I wouldn’t get a restraining order and she gave me back the papers. I guess I—I considered doing it anyway, but then I got the job out here and then my dad…I figured it would be okay.”</p><p>Billie wants nothing more than to hug you, but she sees how tense you are and she doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. So she just frowns as she tries to figure out what you’re going to say next. You sigh heavily before you abandon your corner of the couch and move towards Billie. You just sit in front of her for a second before you manage to admit why you really don’t want to think about what Doug did any longer.</p><p>“I just—I know it’s not healthy, but I don’t want to think about her anymore. If I try to do this thing with Doug I know it’s all I will be able to think about, and then I’ll get worried again. I’ll become that person again, and I’ll be looking over my shoulder for her all the time and I just--.”</p><p>Billie decides to take the chance, and she cuts off your rambling with a hug. She feels you stiffen slightly before you fall into the embrace and wrap your arms around her tightly. You squeeze your eyes shut as you feel tears start to fall and dammit this is why you didn’t want to do this.</p><p>“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?”</p><p>You’re not surprised when you start crying harder at Billie’s words and you curse yourself as your headache comes back full force. You hide your face in Billie’s shoulder as you mutter things that you never had been able to say to her face. To anyone’s really.</p><p>“How are you this nice to me? How do I deserve this?”</p><p>Billie hates how confused you sound and how you seem to genuinely believe that you are not worthy of what Billie believes is basic kindness. She hates how someone wrecked your expectations so thoroughly that you are surprised when people treat you the way you should be treated. She has a lot that she wants to say, but Billie sticks with what she believes to be the most important for now.</p><p>“Y/N. You deserve everything anyone could ever give you. You’re such a sweet, caring person and I’m in awe of how strong you are.”</p><p>You sniffle pitifully into Billie’s hair before she sighs in defeat. She has no idea how someone could be so cruel to you. She just knows that she’ll do everything in her power to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.</p><p>“You’re amazing, Y/N, and you deserve to be reminded of it every day.”</p><p>***</p><p>You wipe the tears from your eyes as you pull back so you can see Billie’s kind and earnest expression. You smile slightly before you nod thoughtfully. You need to stop thinking so poorly of yourself. You know you do, but some habits, regardless of how quickly they form or how long they last, are hard to break. You sigh again as you kiss Billie in thanks. Your head is pounding, but you smile wider as you play with the ends of Billie Dean’s hair.</p><p>“Thank you, Billie. I-.”</p><p>You pause as you stare into Billie’s eyes and you feel heat rush to your cheeks as you shake your head. You look away for a second before you’re smiling again, your heart pounding inside your chest.</p><p>“That means a lot.”</p><p>Later that night, you are nearly falling asleep on the couch when Billie calls Milo to go out for a walk. It’s nearly 10 and if it wasn’t going to be just a quick run outside, you’d insist on going with her.</p><p>Since your talk at dinner, you and Billie had been a little off, and it was making you nervous. You aren’t sure what it is but you figure that it has something to do with what you’d told her. You didn’t often divulge the gruesome details of your past, and really only, relationship easily, but you trusted Billie and you wanted her to know about your past. No matter how painful.</p><p>Now Billie hadn’t said or done anything to make you feel like she was upset with you, but –you couldn’t explain what it was. It was probably all in your head. You were worried that you’d freaked Billie out with your dicey history.</p><p>As you watch her leave with Milo you sigh heavily before looking around the room. You don’t know what you want to do, but you find yourself wandering to the kitchen for leftovers. You aren’t even really hungry, but you need to keep yourself busy or else you’ll get yourself worked up overthinking things. You open the fridge and grab the first box you see.</p><p>You’re still standing at the counter eating from the to-go box when Milo and Billie come back. Milo finds you first and he runs up to you with his tail wagging in excitement. He plants himself down right beside you with a pleading look. You just shake your head at him because he’s not getting any of your food. The last time he got into leftovers he had diarrhea for a week. You were not dealing with that again.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Especially at Billie’s house.</p><p>You don’t get to cringe at that thought before you hear Billie arrive to the kitchen. You’re standing with your back to her and you smile guiltily as you turn around to face her. You’re not surprised to see her frowning, so you hold your food out to her with a questioning look.</p><p>“Do you want some?”</p><p>Billie sighs before shaking her head and moving past you to get to the fridge. You watch as she opens it and grabs a bottle of wine. You look to the clock again before frowning.</p><p>“Do you have more work to do tonight?”</p><p>Billie pours herself a glass before sighing in defeat. She didn’t really need to do anything else tonight, but Michelle had just sent her something that she wanted to look at before tomorrow’s interview. All day she’d been working on preparing for it, but she and Michelle had overlooked a potentially important question that might come up.</p><p>Billie tells you that she has some last-minute prep to do and you just nod before putting your food up. You are really tired but you don’t want to go to sleep yet. At least not alone. You were going to see if Billie would keep you company, but it looked like she had work to do.</p><p>“Okay, well I’ll probably just get ready to sleep then.”</p><p>Billie nods before asking if you want her to go with you, or rather help you upstairs. You shake your head though because you’d done fine on your own since you woke up this morning. You start to head out before you turn back to Billie who is still standing in the kitchen looking a little distant.</p><p>“Do you mind if I say hi to the kittens, first?”</p><p>Billie smiles before muttering an ‘of course not’, so you take Milo with you to wait in the guest room while you go love on some kittens.</p><p>You make it up the stairs easily enough and after dropping off Milo, you head to the laundry room. You open the door quietly so you don’t disturb the kittens. You smile as Bit looks at you before promptly returning to grooming duty and she ignores you as you wander towards her to get a look at Mickey and Co. You sigh as you watch them all shift around and mewl at each other.</p><p>They were getting so big and you couldn’t help but want to pick them up and feel on them. You resist however because it was late and you didn’t want to disturb them too much. Instead, you just sit down with a sigh watching from across the room as Bit finally settles back down next to her kittens.</p><p>You wonder how Billie was going to part with them all. She had mentioned keeping Mickey, but she’d said nothing about Bit. She would need to be spayed soon, and you could talk about that at your next visit, but for now you didn’t really care. You wanted to take at least one of the kittens, but you weren’t sure how that would work. Milo was okay with Mickey for a limited time, but you had to make sure that this behavior would extend to any cat that you brought home. It was worth figuring out, but you were too tired to consider it at the moment.</p><p>You lean back against the washer with a yawn before you close your eyes. You were just going to rest for a minute then you would get ready for bed.</p><p>Billie was still downstairs reading through what Michelle had sent her when you drifted off in the laundry room. She was worried about tomorrow. More worried than she’d typically be for an interview. Tomorrow wasn’t just going to be the standard, ‘tell us about the new season of your show’ interview. Now that Billie was seeing someone and they’d been in the media so much, there was no way that this wouldn’t be a topic of conversation. Billie just hoped that it wasn’t going to overshadow the real reason why she was doing this interview.</p><p>She had agreed with confirming her relationship with you, before the events of this week had pretty much done that for her. She had been excited to do so, and she hated that she was a little less thrilled about having the conversation.</p><p>It wasn’t that she didn’t want people to know about you, or even ask about you. She was proud of you and wanted to show you off. She didn’t; however, want to answer intrusive questions that were really no one’s business but your own. Billie was just lucky enough to be privy to some of your secrets. She could always pretend not to know, but after a long talk with Michelle and Jeff about this, it was decided that refusing to comment about this week’s incidents wouldn’t look good.</p><p>It didn’t matter how it was framed, not knowing about what was going on with you, or pretending not to would cause more speculation that Billie didn’t want.</p><p>Billie’s goal for tomorrow was to talk about her show that would be airing in just a couple of weeks. She would talk about what viewers should expect, how filming it went, and whether or not there would be more to come.</p><p>She had also decided that she would talk about you enough to placate whoever wanted to know, but not too much to make you uncomfortable. That was Billie’s main concern, and after having permission to talk about what happened on Sunday and the first night you spent at her house, she was feeling a little better. She wouldn’t say too much and she didn’t plan on making any of it a big deal.</p><p>She just really wanted to promote her show and talk a little bit about her girlfriend.</p><p>When Billie finally finished up and decided to go to bed, it was around 11. She was tired and needed to sleep. She needed to get up early to make it to the studio in time for makeup and all of that. Billie was still thinking about how late she could wake up when she arrived upstairs and immediately heard whining from down the hall.</p><p>She heads toward the guest room and immediately realizes what the cause was. She could see Milo’s paws appear every other second as he tried to dig his way out from under the door. Billie sighs as she opens the door to let him out before he rips up her carpet. He immediately runs into the hallway and looks both ways for you. Billie realizes quickly that you aren’t in there and she heads toward the laundry room. Milo follows, but she doesn’t let him in when she opens the door and sneaks inside.</p><p>She sees you fast asleep against the washer, and she sighs before turning to check on the kittens. They are fast asleep as well, but they look a lot more comfortable than you do. Billie reaches out for your shoulder to gently shake you awake.</p><p>“Y/N. You can’t sleep in here.”</p><p>You groan in annoyance as you’re awoken from your little nap. You see the kittens first and you realize where you fell asleep. Next, you turn to see Billie standing over you, and you smile slightly before shaking your head. You didn’t even hear what she’d said to you, but you find yourself responding nevertheless.</p><p>“I know, I know. I’m awake.”</p><p>Billie smiles at you before reaching her hand out to help you up. You grab it with a quiet ‘thanks’ before getting to your feet with another groan. You roll your eyes at the sound of Milo whining from outside, and you are quick to follow Billie out into the hall.</p><p>You reach out for your dog smiling as he licks your hand before he follows you and Billie back to your room.</p><p>“All done with work?”</p><p>Billie nods as you both make the short trip back to the guest room. You hesitate to go in because you really don’t like sleeping alone as much as you like sleeping with Billie. Not that you would be <em>sleeping </em>with her, you just wanted to be near her. You weren’t sure how to communicate this, but apparently just standing in the doorway and staring into the room wasn’t the best way.</p><p>“Is something wrong?”</p><p>Billie frowns as she watches you just stare blankly into the room that Milo has returned to. He’s sitting at the foot of the bed, but you’re not looking at him. Once you realize that you were just staring, you turn towards Billie with a smile before shaking your head.</p><p>“No. Nothing’s wrong, Billie. I-.”</p><p>You pause briefly as you think back to the weird vibe you’d been feeling since dinner. You consider just going to sleep in your own room, but your neediness outweighs your paranoia at the moment.</p><p>“I was just wondering if I could stay with you?”</p><p>Billie smiles before beginning to nod because she had been waiting for you to ask this. She didn’t like having you here for two nights but not sleeping near you for either. She didn’t want to push you though because you were recovering and she was sure that any sounds she made would have irritated you. Now that you were doing better, she had another reason to decline.</p><p>“Of course you can, Y/N, but I don’t know if you’ll want to. I have to wake up pretty early tomorrow.”</p><p>You frown in confusion until you remember that today is Tuesday, meaning that tomorrow is Wednesday. The day of Billie’s interview. You know that it’s not until 9 and you can’t imagine how early Billie has to wake up. Maybe 7? The earliest 6?</p><p>“For your interview, right? How early do you need to be up?”</p><p>Billie smiles before she gives you the time and watches as your mouth falls open in surprise. You’re quick to shut it though as you ask incredulously.</p><p>“5:00 am? That’s ridiculous. Why do you need to get up so early, Billie?”</p><p>Billie just laughs before she rolls her eyes and runs a hand through her hair.</p><p>“I have to get ready, Y/N. They need ample time to make me look tv ready.”</p><p>You snort at this before you start walking down the hall to Billie’s room. You walk slowly in case Billie really just doesn’t want company before shaking your head.</p><p>“Well, that shouldn’t take very long. Come on, Billie. Is that all you got? I can go back to sleep before watching your interview.”</p><p>This catches Billie’s attention and she stops in her tracks behind you before shaking her head. Not that you see her, but what she says next makes you stop short.</p><p>“You’re not going to watch tomorrow, are you Y/N?”</p><p>You turn around to face Billie, shooting her a confused look before you nod. You can’t think of a single reason why you wouldn’t watch Billie’s interview tomorrow. If you had the choice, you would be going to it, but that wasn’t an option. It hadn’t been brought up before your fall, and now there was no way you were getting an invitation.</p><p>“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I watch?”</p><p>Billie sighs before she walks past you toward her room. You follow her wondering what’s on her mind, not even noticing how Milo is following you both. Billie retreats into her room before she starts to undress. She pulls her sweatshirt over her head before she responds to you with a pointed look.</p><p>“Your concussion? You’re not supposed to be watching television.”</p><p>You obviously realize this, but decide to argue anyway because there was no way you weren’t watching Billie tomorrow.</p><p>“I know, but it’s only what? An hour? Also! I can just listen!”</p><p>You watch as Billie sighs in defeat before she just studies you for a minute. You don’t back down. You don’t even look away when Milo comes up to you and nudges your hand asking for scratches. You wait until Billie just rolls her eyes before giving in.</p><p>“Alright, Y/N.  I trust you to know your limits. I just hope you don’t get a migraine watching me fend off silly questions.”<br/>
 </p><p>You smile victoriously, but Billie doesn’t see it as she retreats to her closet. You don’t realize what she’s doing until she comes back with some clothes for you. You smile gratefully before you set them down on the bed so you can change. Milo follows you, reminding you that he’s in here and you go to kick him out.</p><p>“Milo, come on. You’re going to sleep downstairs.”</p><p>You are almost out the door when Billie speaks up, and Milo stops before you do before bounding back into the room and over to the medium.</p><p>“He can stay here. As long as he doesn’t bark in his sleep or anything.”</p><p>You watch as Milo greets Billie before moving to the foot of the bed. He looks at it for a moment like he wants to jump, but luckily he just lays down on the carpet with a yawn. You realize that you hadn’t answered Billie’s question, so you shake your head before offering a verbal response once you see that she’s not facing you.</p><p>“Uh, no. He won’t do that.”</p><p>Once you and Billie are ready for bed you follow her lead as you get under the covers and turn off the lamp beside you. You sit in silence for a moment waiting for Billie to get situated before speaking. You don’t want to stress Billie out, either of you really, but you want to make sure that you say this before Billie leaves tomorrow.</p><p>“Are you worried about tomorrow?”</p><p>Billie can’t see you since it’s dark, but she can picture the frown on your face as you ask this. She knows better than to lie to you because you’d been with her all day, and there was no way you’d fail to notice how much time she had spent preparing for tomorrow’s interview.</p><p>She eventually sighs before sitting up again and reaching for the light. She wants to be able to look at you when you have this conversation.</p><p>“I’m a little worried that they’ll try to make it more about the two of us, than the show.”</p><p>You squint slightly as the light flicks back on before nodding in agreement. You hate that you messed this up. The timing of everything couldn’t be worse for Billie’s interview and you’re feeling really guilty. This was supposed to be about promoting her show and giving everyone a chance to see how amazing the medium was. You weren’t biased at all, but you were going to be so angry if Billie doesn’t get the recognition she deserves tomorrow.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>You say this before you can stop yourself and Billie frowns as she watches you cringe. She realizes it’s not because of a headache as you scramble to explain yourself.</p><p>“I just mean—I hope I didn’t mess anything up for you. You worked so hard for this and now no one will appreciate it because they’re--.”</p><p>You are cut off as Billie reaches for your shoulder before moving to push away some flyaway hair with a smile. You look to her in confusion because you’re not sure why she’s smiling, but she doesn’t let you wonder long.</p><p>“Y/N, you didn’t mess up anything. In fact, you showing up in my life has been one of the best things to happen to me in a long time.”</p><p>You feel your heart start pounding at Billie’s words and you open your mouth to say something, but you can’t. You’re speechless. Billie just smiles before she leans in to kiss you.</p><p>“I don’t want you to feel guilty about anything, okay? Tomorrow will be fine.”</p><p>You find yourself nodding in agreement before you’ve even decided that Billie’s right, but it doesn’t matter. You know she is, and you just have to trust that she knows what she’s talking about. She has been doing this much longer than you have.</p><p>“Okay, Billie.”</p><p>Billie smiles before she turns off her light again before getting settled. She waits until you lie down too before sighing and she’s smiling by the time you move closer to her.</p><p>“I wish I could get you to see how special you really are, Y/N,”</p><p>You don’t respond immediately, at least not with words, but you move closer so Billie can pull you into her. Once you’re close enough, you turn so your back is to her before scooting as close as possible with a sigh. You bite your lip so you don’t say what’s on the tip of your tongue. Instead you just thank Billie again by squeezing her hand where it rests on your stomach.</p><p>“You’re too good to me, Billie Dean.”</p><p>The woman behind you just scoffs in answer, and you chuckle under your breath as you close your eyes. It’s almost midnight, and despite the fact that you know you’ll be woken up in five short hours, you can’t bring yourself to care. You’re convinced that you’ll wake up sleep-deprived every morning if you are able to spend every night like this in Billie’s arms.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Happy Friday!!! It’s been a long week. Here’s the next chapter. Enjoy! </p>
<p>Warnings: angst, mentions of assault and discussions about domestic violence  </p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>5 am arrives as quickly as you thought it would, and despite your insistence that you’d be able to go back to sleep, you find yourself still tossing and turning after Billie’s gone. She had actually woken up a little earlier than she needed to, and had snuck out of bed to get ready. She hadn’t wanted to disturb you, but once it was 6 and she really did need to leave, she wakes you up to say goodbye.</p>
<p>Billie kisses your forehead and your nose before you start to stir. You’d been deep in sleep, but the tickle you feel makes you realize that someone was trying to get your attention and you smile as you finally wake up. You yawn before opening your eyes to see Billie standing over you with a smile.</p>
<p>“Good morning, sleepyhead. I just wanted to let you know that I was leaving.”</p>
<p>You take a minute to look at Billie and your smile widens as you notice that she’s not nearly as dressed up as you thought she’d be. She looks good, as always, but your sleep-addled brain wasn’t working at full capacity yet. Not even half honestly.</p>
<p>“Good morning. You look cute. Is that what you’re wearing for the interview?”</p>
<p>Billie rolls her eyes at you before shaking her head. She mentions that she’ll change and all that once she gets to the studio and you just nod before you have to stifle another yawn. You go to sit up but Billie stops you with a hand on your shoulder.</p>
<p>“You should go back to sleep, Y/N. It’s still early.”</p>
<p>You sigh before nodding in agreement. You hadn’t really planned on getting up. You were just trying to get closer to Billie. You pout slightly as you shoot her a questioning look.</p>
<p>“Can I have another kiss before you go?”</p>
<p>Billie sighs as if it’s such a chore to do this for you before she leans in with a smile. She kisses your lips this time before pulling away and running a hand through your hair with a teasing look.</p>
<p>“I love your bedhead. Y/N.”</p>
<p>You groan in embarrassment as you hide under the covers and you attempt to fix your hair. It works about as well as you thought it would and you end up making it worse as you peek out at Billie from beneath the sheets. She just chuckles before checking her watch. She really needs to leave now.</p>
<p>“Billie.”</p>
<p>You whine pitifully as Billie just turns to leave the room. She smirks at you before waving as she disappears out the door.</p>
<p>“I’ll be back before you know it.”</p>
<p>You nod to yourself as you push your hair out of your face. You know it doesn’t matter now, but it’s actually bothering you. You speak up right before Billie leaves and she shoots you a grateful look before she’s gone.</p>
<p>“Okay, good luck, Billie.”</p>
<p>Instead of going back to sleep, you only manage to lie in bed underneath the covers for an hour. Milo was up and he was being good, but you were actually getting restless. You were nervous about how today would go for Billie despite your conversation last night. You sigh as you think about how nice it was to spend the night with Billie again. You may just be getting better, but you’d slept more soundly by the blonde’s side. You hope that this will continue because when you finally roll out of bed a little after 7, you’re feel better than you have in a while.</p>
<p>You yawn as you lead Milo out into the hallway before you realize how poorly dressed you are. It probably isn’t very cold, but you don’t know how long Milo will take and you don’t want to be caught wearing something too revealing. You retreat back into the bedroom, ignoring Milo’s whines, as you look around for something to wear. Billie’s closet is still open and you look inside to see if there’s something you could borrow. Just for your walk.</p>
<p>Milo’s whining starts getting louder and you hurry to grab something as you wave him off.</p>
<p>“Milo, I know. Just give me…”</p>
<p>The first thing you see is Billie’s sweatshirt, and you hesitate for only a second before grabbing it. You pull it over your head before pushing Milo off as he jumps on you. You can detect a hint of Billie’s perfume and shampoo mixed in the fabric, and you’re thrilled that it’s finally more soothing than off-putting. You walk out into the hallway and remind yourself to check on the kittens soon before heading downstairs. You are already thinking about what you’ll eat for breakfast as you grab Milo’s leash and lead him to the backyard. It’s not fenced in and you don’t want Milo out for too long, but as you walk outside and realize how cold it actually is you curse yourself.</p>
<p>You shiver slightly as you stand by Milo who’s peeing on a tree. You look around quickly and see nothing interesting before following Milo back inside. He’s excitedly panting as he sits and waits for you to take off his leash. As soon as it’s off he’s racing to the food bowl that is set up just outside the kitchen. You grab his food and put in just a little more than usual before leaving Milo to his breakfast. You head to the fridge and open it and stare inside for a second before just settling on eating leftovers again. You’re too lazy to make anything else and you just grab a bowl to heat them up.</p>
<p>You stand around and watch Milo drink for a few seconds before you realize you don’t have your phone. You decide to run upstairs and get it while your food is cooking, just in case you need it.</p>
<p>You go upstairs considerably slower than a run, but that’s fine as you make it upstairs without your head protesting at all. You yawn again because you really should have stayed in bed longer before you arrive to the bedroom and see your phone on the side table. You grab it and decide to lie down again before turning it on.</p>
<p>You wait until the home screen pops up and you are about to just check your email when you’re bombarded with over a dozen text messages and several missed call notifications. You didn’t realize how out of touch you’d been for the past few days, and you suddenly feel bad when you read through the texts from your concerned friend who had started following you in the news.</p>
<p>You squint slightly after writing a response and you realize why you aren’t supposed to be looking at screens. Your head starts hurting after just a few minutes so you decide that anything beyond a quick check in can wait.</p>
<p>Nearly five minutes later you are done and heading back downstairs for breakfast when your phone beeps. You stop in the middle of the stairs to check it and you see that it’s Billie.</p>
<p>
  <em>Don’t forget to take your meds. I left them in the bathroom so Milo wouldn’t get them.</em>
</p>
<p>You sigh as you groan at your forgetfulness before starting back upstairs. You find them quickly and take them before returning to the kitchen. You reheat your food before moving to the living room. You respond to Billie with a thank you before you start eating. It’s not until you’re halfway done and find yourself looking at the television that you realize you don’t know what channel Billie is going to be on.</p>
<p>You quickly text her back asking this before lying back on the couch with a sigh. You have nearly two hours to kill before Billie’s interview and you’re not sure what you’re going to do with your time.</p>
<p>Billie was sitting in her dressing room just waiting to be called out. She was smoking her first cigarette in what felt like days as she scrolls through her phone absentmindedly. She’d considered texting you again, but she thought better of it. She knew that you weren’t supposed to be on your phone, so she was just killing time in the only way she knew how to at the moment.</p>
<p>She took another drag as she read yet another article about your hospital visit. She didn’t get nearly as far into this one as the others because they were all the same at this point. No one knew anything, and they all used the same damn picture. Luckily, no one had followed them home to get another one, but Billie was getting sick of seeing you on a stretcher in front of your clinic.</p>
<p>She had already decided that she wasn’t going to disclose much about that night. She wanted to protect you from the media as much as she could, but sometimes it felt like she was fighting a losing battle. As Billie scrolls past yet another article about you, she finds her mind drifting to your ex.</p>
<p>Billie had seen a glimpse of the effect she’d had on you last night. When you talked about her, your entire demeanor changed. You grew more reserved, more anxious and Billie hated to see you retreat back into your shell. You’d been growing more confident and relaxed with her, and she loved that you asked her for things that you wanted.</p>
<p>Like last night. She was thrilled that you’d asked to come stay with her. She was glad that you had been feeling better last night and this morning, but she knew that you couldn’t rush things. You had the rest of the week off from work, and Billie intended to make sure that you did as little as possible until then.</p>
<p>Billie puts out her cigarette when there’s a knock on the door. She sighs as she turns to see that one of the crew members is standing in the hall looking far too stressed for so early in the morning.</p>
<p>“Ms. Howard. We’re ready for you.”</p>
<p>You’re practically running down the stairs when it’s close to 9 o’clock. You had gotten distracted by the kittens and you had spent way too much time with them. They were all looking so good. You were tempted to let them roam around with Bit, but you had an interview to watch, and a big dog who had proven to like kittens. You let Bit out though because Billie said that you could, and you and Bit head downstairs to the living room. Bit runs off somewhere and Milo perks up slightly before just turning to you as you jump onto the couch. You find the remote before turning on the television with a sigh.</p>
<p>You are about to change the channel to Billie’s interview, but you don’t get a chance before you hear Milo bark. You cringe at the sound before turning to see him with his paws up on the window looking into the backyard. You frown before standing up to get him down before he breaks something. Milo continues barking and you grab him by the harness before glancing outside. You frown as you look around, not noticing anything at first, but then you see something in the yard that doesn’t belong there.</p>
<p>You open the back door, leaving Milo inside for a second as you go investigate. You can’t tell what it is immediately, but as you get closer to it you realize it’s a box. Your first thought is food because your mind is always on food, but then you realize it’s a box of cigarettes. You stare at them for a moment before shaking your head with a sigh. You bend down to pick them up before remembering that you’re late.</p>
<p>You hurry back inside, locking the door behind you before leading Milo to the couch. You sit down quickly and change the channel before cursing when you realize the interview has already started.</p>
<p>
  <em>“-this season?” </em>
</p>
<p>You just sit back and listen to Billie talk about her show for the next few minutes. You don’t realize it immediately, but you have the dopiest smile on your face as you watch Billie talk animatedly about her work. You’re so excited for her, and you’re looking forward to watching her show with her. Sure, you’re behind a couple of seasons, but that doesn’t matter. You were determined to not fall asleep on her, for once.</p>
<p>Billie talks a little bit about how shooting had gone, and she mentions names of people that you don’t know. You make a note to ask about them at some point before your phone vibrates next to you. You’re tempted to ignore it though because you can barely turn away from Billie. She looks stunning in the blue dress she’s wearing, and it’s definitely a step up from the sweats she’d had on this morning. Not that you didn’t appreciate those too.</p>
<p>You eventually look to your phone because the interviewer is asking Billie about past seasons and how this one differs and you really can’t focus on that. Your head is hurting a little and you open your phone to see an angry text from your friend. Whoops.</p>
<p>Apparently, you weren’t allowed to drop off the face of the Earth after getting a concussion.</p>
<p>You text her for a couple of minutes before a question the interviewer, Wendy asks catches your attention.</p>
<p>“<em>Now I have to ask since I’ve been hearing about it for a while now. You’re seeing someone, is that right?” </em></p>
<p>You look to the screen as Billie smiles genuinely before nodding in answer. You focus on how her hair bounces with the movement before you realize what she’s saying.</p>
<p>“<em>Yes, we’ve been seeing each other for about a month. Since I took my cats to her.” </em></p>
<p>You listen as Billie tells the story you’ve lived, about how the two of you met. You thought back to that day with a smile before returning your attention to the television. You squeeze your eyes shut for a minute before trying to look to the screen again. Your head is hurting so you decide to lie down before it gets any worse. You close your eyes and just listen to what Billie says next in response to what you’ve been dreading most.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I heard about Y/N’s accident at work. I hope everything is okay.” </em>
</p>
<p>Billie’s smile fades slightly as she thinks about the incident that put you in the hospital. She sighs as she nods before mentioning your fall.</p>
<p>“<em>She’s doing better, but she’s still taking it easy. At least she’s supposed to.” </em></p>
<p>Billie smiles as she says this and you roll your eyes at what she’s insinuating. You are doing exactly what you’re supposed to. Sure, you might be peeking a little from where you’re lying on your back, but only a little. Only when Billie talks.</p>
<p>“<em>Does that mean she’s not watching now?” </em></p>
<p>Billie just shrugs at this and you watch as she glances out to the audience. You really wish that you could have been there. You sigh as you listen to Billie say that you probably are before you reach out for Milo.</p>
<p>“Come here boy.”</p>
<p>Milo had just been sitting by alternating between watching you and the television. He hurries up to you and puts his head in your face so he was practically licking you. You groan before pushing him back and scratching him behind the ears with a sigh.  </p>
<p>“You’re such a good boy.”</p>
<p>You watch as Milo turns away from you and sniffs the cigarettes that you forgot you just left on the couch next to you in your hurry. You move them away before sitting up with a groan. You grab a pillow and bury your face in it until you hear your name again.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Y/N is doing her best to ignore it, but sometimes—the more persistent ones get to her.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Like those who sneak into backyards?” </em>
</p>
<p>You watch as Billie frowns at the thought of the reporter that you’d run into two too many times. You scowl as Billie just shakes her head before responding.</p>
<p>“<em>Exactly.” </em></p>
<p>Wendy was smiling as she shot Billie a look that you didn’t particularly like. You just wait for Billie to respond to the question you know she’s been agonizing over for a while.</p>
<p>“<em>From what I’ve been told he definitely interrupted something.” </em></p>
<p>Billie merely smirks at the thought before shaking her head. She, Michelle, and Jeff had all discussed how she’d answer this and they had decided that she should be the one to bring it up first. Tell the truth, but don’t give too many details.</p>
<p>“<em>Actually Y/N’s dog, Milo is to blame for that. He’s very protective of her and misread what was happening.” </em></p>
<p>You nearly sigh as Billie says this because you’re so glad that you aren’t having to answer these questions. You had been put on the spot and well, the first time it had happened to you, you’d barely been coherent. You knew that Billie could do a better job of explaining everything, and you were grateful that you both had talked about what she was going to say.</p>
<p>You had told Billie that you didn’t care what she said. You’d been fresh out of the hospital and a little too tired to be sincere, but after you’d slept a little more the two of you had a serious conversation. You were only a little worried about people knowing too much about you. You figured that some things were public record and could be figured out easily enough, so you didn’t care much about that. The only thing you really had been concerned about was the topic that Billie was discussing now.</p>
<p>She was doing exactly what’s she’d promised and you couldn’t be more appreciative.</p>
<p>“<em>I guess you haven’t earned his approval yet?” </em></p>
<p>Billie just smiles as you roll your eyes at the thought. Milo loves Billie and is honestly wagging his tail just from watching her on TV. He comes up to jump next to you on the couch and you sigh before deciding that it’s fine, if he sits on your lap. You pat your lap and your 70lbs dog eagerly scrambles on top of you before turning back to the television.</p>
<p>You already feel his weight and you know this won’t last long, but you like watching as Milo stares at the television.</p>
<p>“<em>Not quite.” </em></p>
<p>You sigh at the lie before your phone vibrates again. You shoot it a look but it’s just out of reach so you leave it be for now. The interview is finishing up and you breathe out a sigh of relief before frowning in confusion. What time was it? That seemed to fly by. It was just before 9:30, but it felt like it had only been a few minutes since you sat down. You push Milo off of you with a groan before standing up to stretch. You grab your phone to send Billie a text before you look to your friend’s message. You wander into the kitchen and refill Milo’s water bowl. As he takes a drink you look out the window at the backyard. You look at the garden for a minute trying to figure out what is different.</p>
<p>Billie had showed you pictures of her garden, and you’d seen it when you walked Milo, but you could tell that something was off. You leave Milo inside as you go out and investigate, and you hurry over to the garden to take a better look.</p>
<p>The flowers on the right look about the same as when you’d seen them last. There were a lot of vegetables next to these that made you hungry, but then you saw the lettuce on the left and frowned.</p>
<p>“What the...?”</p>
<p>You kneel down to get a closer look, and your frown deepens as you confirm that the lettuce was squished. The head was crushed and torn by what looked like a big footprint. Who would be walking back here other than Billie? You blame your concussion on the fact that you don’t realize it immediately, but once you remember what you’d found earlier you manage to connect the dots.</p>
<p>The cigarettes.</p>
<p>You never really got a good look at Billie’s cigarettes. She always kept them in a case so you couldn’t tell what kind they were. That didn’t matter much because you doubt that Billie would leave them in the yard, on purpose or otherwise. As you wander back inside and meet Milo at the door you remember how he’d barked too. He doesn’t usually bark unless he has a reason. Aka if he wants your attention or if he’s trying to tell you something.</p>
<p>This thought makes you stiffen before you head toward the front door. You make sure to lock the back door behind you though because suddenly you’re on edge. You stop at the front door, deciding not to open it, and you go to the next room over to look out the window. You don’t see anyone or any cars on the street, so you relax a little, but you still don’t let your guard down.</p>
<p>Had someone been watching you?</p>
<p>Billie is on her way home from the studio when you text her again. She hadn’t stuck around long after the interview because she wanted to get home to check on you. She of course had to stay for a while to talk to the host, but she didn’t linger for long. Although the interview had gone pretty well in her opinion, that didn’t mean that Wendy wouldn’t try to ask more invasive questions behind the scenes. Billie had answered all that she wanted to about you and she really just wanted to get home.</p>
<p>Billie responded to your first text about ‘killing it’ before she started the drive home. It was almost half an hour without traffic, so Billie was lucky to be home in only 40 minutes. Once she’s home, she closes the car door behind her and hurries inside. She is as quiet as possible as she opens the door in case you are sleeping, but she realizes that it doesn’t matter. You hear her anyway and are quick to greet her.</p>
<p>“Billie, you’re back already?”</p>
<p>The medium turns around from shutting the door just in time to catch you as you run into her. You wrap your arms around her tightly as you pull her in for a hug and Billie is a little caught off guard by your enthusiasm. It seems that you’re feeling better. She hugs you back before nodding and pulling away to pay attention to Milo too. He’s pawing at her and whining as you and Billie embrace. After a quick scratch behind the ears, Milo is placated and just sits and watches the two of you to see if you do anything interesting.</p>
<p>“Traffic wasn’t bad. Are you feeling alright?”</p>
<p>Billie smiles as she asks this because she can definitely tell that you are, and she loves to see it. She loves the smile she receives in response as you just nod enthusiastically and talk about how you’d been since she left. You two make your way to the kitchen for a drink as you ramble excitedly.</p>
<p>“Yes! Much better thanks. I had to lie down and just listen for the last half of the interview, but I loved it. You did so well! I know I don’t know much about all of that, but I think you did great. Also, you definitely looked TV ready. You looked--.”</p>
<p>You trail off as you take a second to look at the medium who really does look amazing. You love this dress on her. You look to Billie’s hair again before you stifle the urge to smile wider and reach out and touch. You completely forgot what you were saying and you watch Billie pour herself a drink before smiling at you. She asks if you want one, but you just shake your head in response.  </p>
<p>“You know enough dear, thank you. Your opinion means more than anyone else’s.”</p>
<p>You roll your eyes at Billie’s words before you change your mind and grab Billie’s drink before she can. Billie shoots you a look and you shoot it back before you just smile and hand it to her. You’re not in the mood to be too bratty right now.</p>
<p>“Did you get my text?”</p>
<p>Billie hesitates as she thinks about this before nodding. She had been driving and forgot about it, and she says this with an apologetic look that you just wave off. You leave the kitchen and wander over to the living room where you left the box of cigarettes. You grab them before holding them up for Billie to see. You return to the kitchen and glance outside as you explain what had happened while Billie was gone.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I was just asking about these? I found them outside, and it also looks like someone stepped on your lettuce. Sorry.”</p>
<p>Billie frowns as she looks to the box of cigarettes that definitely doesn’t belong to her. She holds out her hand and you give them to her, watching as she inspects the box. It was fairly new and must have been left there recently. Today probably given how often you two went out there with Milo.</p>
<p>“How did you say you found them?”</p>
<p>Mason scowled as he returned to his office empty-handed yet again. Ever since he had been lucky enough to get the shots of you and Billie last week, he had been working hard to prove his worth. He had been following you and Billie constantly, but he hadn’t been able to get more than a few shots of either of you.</p>
<p>He had been at the clinic when you passed out, and he’d followed you to the hospital. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to get anything there since security wouldn’t let him in, and he wouldn’t have been able to get into the emergency room anyway.</p>
<p>He hadn’t seen Billie again until she started walking your dog. Mason wouldn’t admit it, but he wasn’t brave enough to confront Billie when she was with Milo. He didn’t want to get attacked again and he just watched as the medium walked him through the neighborhood. It wasn’t until a couple of days later that you joined her.</p>
<p>As cute as this domestic crap was, he couldn’t really use any of it. No one would really care about it, and he would be laughed at by his peers and criticized by his boss. No, he needed something else, but he just wasn’t sure how to get it.</p>
<p>He was still looking into your accident, but he couldn’t figure out much. You hadn’t said anything, and Billie hadn’t said anything helpful during her interview today. After failing to get anything useful from you, he’d hidden and waited until Billie got back from her interview. He literally had nothing but you and Billie walking your dog, the dog that had caught him in the backyard just seconds after he got there.</p>
<p>He just hoped that his contact at your apartment panned out, or else he would have nothing.</p>
<p>Billie had two more interviews this week, specifically on Friday. You hadn’t remembered about them immediately despite her telling you, and you felt guilty about it. She tried to reassure you that it wasn’t a big deal though. You were recovering, but you were still pouting as Billie looked at some of the materials Michelle had sent over.</p>
<p>“Do you need to work for the rest of the day?”</p>
<p>You’re lying on the couch looking through your phone when Billie looks over to you. She’d been a little more lenient because you were feeling better, but Billie was still wary of you spending too much time reading. Still, she knew you were probably working so she left it alone for now.</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t no. Maybe another hour or so. Why? Did you have something else in mind?”</p>
<p>You laugh at Billie’s tone before rolling your eyes at her suggestion. You knew she was partially kidding, but your mind wandered to what else you two could do other than what you’d originally planned on. You put your phone down because you’ve done all you’re going to at the moment. You had emailed your boss yesterday and confirmed that you could work on Monday. Since then, you’d been scanning through the few email’s you’d gotten since Sunday.</p>
<p>For once, you were glad that news traveled fast because it meant fewer emails for you to go through. You looked at the time and did a little math before deciding to go for it. The worst Billie could say was no.</p>
<p>“Well, if you have time, I was thinking that maybe we can go to my place later to grab some of my things? Not that I don’t love wearing your clothes.”</p>
<p>Billie actually laughs at this before she really thinks about your question. She had invited you here for an unspecified amount of time, but if you really were going to stay until you had to work you raised a good point. Billie was running out of clothes to give you. She sighs before realizing that she was getting a little ahead of herself. She should check and see what your intentions were before making plans with you.</p>
<p>“Did you want to stay here for the rest of the week? I know Dr. Skinner said at least that long.”</p>
<p>Billie wanted to say more. She wanted to tell you that you were welcome to stay here, but she didn’t want to pressure you. Despite her earlier comment she wanted you to be comfortable and recover as fast as possible. She didn’t want to mess that up in any way.</p>
<p>You nod before groaning as you sit up and run a hand through your hair. You definitely wouldn’t mind staying with Billie, but you don’t want to overstay your welcome. You loved being around the medium, but if she was going to be working for the next couple of days, you didn’t want to be in the way.</p>
<p>“I won’t annoy you with my presence? Or Milo’s for that matter?”</p>
<p>Billie simply smiles before shaking her head. She would want nothing more than for you to stay here with her. She had planned on spending this week with you, and selfishly she was glad that it was here so she didn’t have to worry about the kittens. She knew you probably weren’t as comfortable here, but she was hoping that over the next couple of days she could change that.</p>
<p>“Of course not, Y/N. I would love if you two stayed here.”</p>
<p>You smile gratefully before nodding to yourself. You were blushing slightly but you shake it off as you open your mouth to ask again, but Billie beats you to it.</p>
<p>“How about I finish this up and then we go? Does that work?”</p>
<p>You agree to this and you let Billie get back to what she was doing as you start to make a list. You don’t want to forget anything, but as you get started you realize that you’ve forgotten something major.</p>
<p>“My car!”</p>
<p>Billie turns to see you staring wide-eyed at your phone before you look up at her. She doesn’t get a chance to ask what you’re talking about before you shake your head.</p>
<p>“I forgot about my car! Is it still at work? Wait, of course it is.”</p>
<p>You scold yourself for being so dumb before you sigh and try to figure out how you’ll get it back. You don’t realize how far down the rabbit hole you’ve gone trying to figure this out until Billie speaks up and clues you in on something that she and Erin had briefly discussed when they were arranging for Milo to be dropped off.</p>
<p>“Y/N. I talked to Erin and she said that she could bring it over, or it could stay there until you work again.”</p>
<p>You nod in thought because although you’re not supposed to be driving for at least a week, you don’t like the idea of your car just sitting in the clinic parking lot. Either way, there’s not much that can be done about it now, so you just let it go for the time being. You are just glad that you will be able to go to your apartment soon.</p>
<p>While Billie finishes up working, you check on the cats and take Milo into the backyard for some time outside. He is eager to sniff around and even tries to eat some of the vegetables before you redirect his attention. The two of you just sit on the deck, Milo on his back so he can get belly scratches as you take time to just relax and be outside. You want to go on a walk, but you’re too lazy and don’t want to risk a headache before you go to your place. You plan on bringing Milo because you don’t want him left alone at Billie’s house with the cats.</p>
<p>You have another reason for wanting to bring Milo with you though. You didn’t think you’d run into trouble, but you haven’t been there since leaving for work Sunday. You were only a little freaked out about the idea of going back and running into Doug again. You hadn’t really considered it much because you didn’t want to for all the reasons you’d given Billie, but now?</p>
<p>If you weren’t going to report him to the police, you at least were going to do a better job of ignoring him. Or being more alert when he was around.</p>
<p>Milo yawns before rolling onto his stomach and shaking fur and dirt everywhere. You groan in annoyance as you close your eyes and wipe the dirt off your face. You look at the time and decide that you should eat more before you go. You’re also just a little anxious about going back and eating a little might help you with your nerves. You lead Milo back inside, making sure his feet weren’t muddy before heading for the kitchen. You stop a couple steps in though when you don’t hear Billie on the phone, and you head her way to see what she’s up to.</p>
<p>“Hey. How’s it going?”</p>
<p>Billie looks up just in time to meet you for a quick kiss before sighing in response. You move to lean against the chair across from her as Billie takes one last look at her computer.</p>
<p>“I’m almost done. Are you ready to go?”</p>
<p>You’re surprised by this and your eyes widen as you hurry to speak. You shake your head before standing up straight again.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, but I wasn’t rushing you. Just being nosy.”</p>
<p>Billie only smiles before shaking her head and mentioning that she was done anyway. She had tomorrow to work on this and she wasn’t as worried now that she had an interview under her belt. The first one was always the worst. At least that’s how it was supposed to go.</p>
<p>“You’re not, Y/N. You can ask anything. You know that.”</p>
<p>You blush slightly but nod in understanding as Billie shuts her computer and stands up with a sigh. You smile as she looks to her clothes, probably deciding on whether or not she should change before she looks back to you. Her smile changes to one that’s softer as she comes to stand by you. She reaches out for the hoodie that you had forgotten you’d put on this morning.</p>
<p>“This looks good on you, sweetheart. I thought you didn’t like wearing my clothes?”</p>
<p>Billie’s teasing has the desired effect and she watches as you laugh to cover your slight blush. You are getting used to Billie teasing you, but despite this, you know Billie likes to see you blush. You shake your head finally before following Billie as she heads to the kitchen to grab her things.</p>
<p>“I never said that. I just—you know, miss my jeans.”</p>
<p>You honestly just said the first piece of clothing that would come to mind. You don’t really miss much in particular, but if you had to pick something you would have said your sweatpants. You’d wear them all day everyday if you could.  </p>
<p>Your thoughts are cut off as Billie just chuckles as she grabs her keys and her phone before turning toward the front door.</p>
<p>“I miss your jeans too, dear.”</p>
<p>You stop short of waving Milo over to you when Billie says this. You rack your brain for a time where Billie has actually seen you wear any. You frown and go to say this, but Billie cuts you off with another laugh. She opens the door for you, waiting as you get Milo ready to go.</p>
<p>“Wait…you haven’t even...?”</p>
<p>“You’re right. I haven’t, but maybe we can change that?”</p>
<p>You hurry through the front door so Billie doesn’t see you blushing, and she just follows you smirking the entire way to the car.</p>
<p>When the three of you arrive to your apartment building you have to resist the urge to run inside. There are a lot of people here, like usual, but you suddenly feel overwhelmed. You keep Milo close to you despite his excited attempts to run ahead of you, and you grab Billie’s hand without thinking. You go to pull it away because you didn’t ask, but Billie just holds yours tighter before following you into the building.</p>
<p>You head over to the elevator, not making eye contact with anyone as you press the button a little too hard. Billie frowns at this but she doesn’t say anything until you’re in the elevator with Milo practically running circles around you, he’s so excited. You’re too agitated to tell him to calm down and you just sigh as Billie squeezes your hand tighter.</p>
<p>“Are you alright, Y/N? You’re tense.”</p>
<p>You bite your lip as you think about whether or not you want to tell Billie what’s going on in your head. You just sigh before nodding and watching as you reach the second floor.</p>
<p>“A little bit. I just didn’t think coming here would be so…nerve-wracking. It’s stupid.”</p>
<p>Billie’s about to tell you that it’s not stupid at all, but the door opens on the third floor and you and Milo step aside to let whoever it is on. It’s a kid, maybe 10 years old who’s wearing his swimsuit. He looks vaguely familiar to you and you just smile as Milo’s tail starts smacking against the wall. You don’t notice immediately because you’re staring at the number 3 displayed on the wall waiting until you can get out, but Billie notices the amazed, baffled look on the boy’s face. The brunette is staring at Billie and she just smiles before reaching out to pet Milo.</p>
<p>The elevator finally dings as it arrives to your floor and you sigh in relief as the door opens. You hold Milo back as he tries to run out, and he whines as you shoot him a look.</p>
<p>“Milo stop it. Wait.”</p>
<p>You wait for the little boy to go first and then Billie before you walk out. You miss the small wave that Billie gives the boy who’s still staring at her in awe as you make your way down the hall. You grab your keys from your pocket and sigh when the lock clicks. The door swings open and you let Milo go and run to where ever he wants before looking around for Billie. She’s trailing behind and you realize that you’d been a little inattentive so you shoot her a smile.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Billie. Come on in.”</p>
<p>Billie did and you were quick to shut the door behind her and lock it. You are about to run to your room and start getting things together when you see Billie wander toward the kitchen. It reminds you that you’re still too tense to be your usual self and you sigh as you follow Billie into the kitchen.</p>
<p>“If you can find anything that you want, it’s yours. I haven’t gone shopping since…last week?”</p>
<p>Billie just smiles as she shakes her head at you. She had been heading over to Milo’s food and treats because she figured you needed them. She was going to try and collect it for you to take back to her house. You smile as Billie says this and you try to figure out what would be best. You stored it in a bin too big to lug around so you hurry to find a container that will carry enough to last the week.</p>
<p>“Do you have any bags, or...?”</p>
<p>Billie trails off as you shake your head and pull out a Tupperware container. You know that Milo will not hesitate to eat through the bag to get to his food and you don’t want him to poop out plastic again.</p>
<p>“Uh, here put it in this. It’s safer from him this way.”</p>
<p>Billie just nods before she opens Milo’s food and starts scooping it into the container.</p>
<p>“I’ll handle this. Go get your jeans.”</p>
<p>You laugh at this before getting on your tiptoes to kiss Billie in thanks. You pull away with a smile before turning and leaving the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Billie.”</p>
<p>You pass Milo who is rolling around on the carpet in the living room on your way upstairs. You pull your phone out to look at your list before you go to your closet to grab your bag. You hurry because you need to get back to Billie’s house sooner rather than later. You’d left the cats alone which should be fine at this point, but they still needed to be checked on periodically. For this reason, you start stripping as you reach into your closet for a change of clothes. Despite it being warm out you pull on a pair of jeans, before wandering around aimlessly looking for the next item on your list. You haven’t decided what shirt you wanted yet and you’re still walking around half dressed when Billie finishes up in the kitchen.</p>
<p>She’s packed Milo’s food and some treats, but there wasn’t anything else that he really needed. So she wanders around a little before deciding to head upstairs and see if you needed help. She hadn’t expected you to be mostly done already, or to only be half-dressed when she showed up.</p>
<p>Billie knocks on the door frame since the door was open and you jump before turning around as you zip up your bag. You have everything you need but a damn shirt. You smile slightly as you wave Billie into the room. You turn back toward your dresser to grab a t-shirt. You’re going to be in the Billie’s house for the rest of the day. It’s not like it really matters what you wear.</p>
<p>“Come on in. I’m almost done.”</p>
<p>Billie smiles as she walks into the room and looks around for a moment. She’s never been in it before, but it was almost exactly what she expected. It was very clean and the bed had some of Milo’s fur on it.</p>
<p>“You ready, sweetheart?”</p>
<p>You smile and nod as you pull your shirt over your head and run to grab your phone off the bed. You check the list one last time before making sure that you have your charger and your computer too. You probably won’t use it much, but you want it just in case. You don’t want to have to use Billie’s when she’s so busy.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sorry. I just needed to decide what to wear.”</p>
<p>Billie frowns slightly at your apology before shaking her head. She isn’t sure why you feel the need to apologize so much when you’ve done nothing wrong. She walks towards you and reaches out to straighten your hair with a smile.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to apologize, Y/N, but I like your decision.”</p>
<p>You smile a little before nodding to yourself. You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything, but it was just a habit. It left your mouth sometimes before you even realized it. You let Billie play with your hair for a few seconds before you respond with a sigh.</p>
<p>“You’re right. Are you ready to go?”</p>
<p>You and Billie are back in the elevator with Milo a few minutes later. You’ve got your bag and Milo while Billie’s holding the bag with Milo’s food. You make it to the lobby without any trouble, but as you’re passing the front desk you remember that you haven’t checked your mail in a while. You sigh as you look to Billie who has noticed that you stopped and you shoot her a questioning look.</p>
<p>“I forgot to check my mail. Can meet you at the car?”</p>
<p>Billie just nods before she reaches out for Milo to take him with her. Instead, you give her your bag and hope that she doesn’t question it. She just adjusts what she’s holding to take your bag and you smile gratefully before turning toward the mailboxes. You’ll make this as quick as possible.</p>
<p>“I’ll be right there. Thank you.”</p>
<p>Billie just nods and heads outside as you hurry to check your mail. You grab your keys from your pocket checking to make sure Milo is sitting out of the way before opening it and checking to see what you have. You keep the couple of bills that you see, but put everything else back in the box for now. You’ll worry about it later.</p>
<p>You’re leaving the room and heading back toward the front doors when you spot someone that looks like Doug at the end of the hall. You don’t even bother to confirm that it’s him before you practically run outside. You feel your head swim, but you ignore it as you take a second to slow down once you’re outside to let Milo pee. You sigh before walking to where Billie’s parked and already waiting with the car running. You put Milo in the back seat, looking for his buckle before you remember it’s in your car. You’re frazzled and you’re afraid it shows when you get into the front seat next to Billie with a heavy sigh.</p>
<p>“Sorry about that, I’m ready now.”</p>
<p>Billie just shakes her head before shooting you a look that you don’t notice. You’re looking out the front of the car, specifically at your apartment building.</p>
<p>“What did I say about apologizing, Y/N?”</p>
<p>You sigh before cringing at your mistake as you try to calm down. You need to relax. It’s not like he’s going to attack you in broad daylight. You weren’t even sure it was him.</p>
<p>“So—Right. Thank you for helping me, Billie.”</p>
<p>Billie spends most of the drive home wondering what had happened. She had realized pretty quickly that you were anxious about going back to your apartment. She wasn’t exactly sure why until you wanted to keep Milo with you to check the mail. It seemed odd and as she was sitting in the car thinking about it, it hit her. She hadn’t even realized that you were worried about running into Doug again. How could she forget that this was the first time being at your apartment since it happened? She mentally kicks herself as she follows you into the house. She watches as you let Milo run free and stumble slightly as you try to take off your shoes.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>You hold back a sigh as you lean against the wall to keep yourself steady as you take off your other shoe. You turn to Billie with a frown. You had been feeling worse since you started worrying and now your head was practically pounding.</p>
<p>“My headache just got worse. It’s not a big deal, I just need to lie down.”</p>
<p>Billie frowns as she watches you head over to the couch absentmindedly dropping your bag on the way. She looks to the clock, realizing it’s too early for your next dose of medication. She still goes to get you water though before coming to sit beside you.</p>
<p>“Is there anything I can do for you?”</p>
<p>You smile at Billie before shaking your head at her. There really isn’t anything else that she could do, but you do need to sleep. You lean forward and rest your head against her shoulder and she pulls you into a hug before you close your eyes with another sigh.</p>
<p>“Can I just sit here with you for a second?”</p>
<p>Billie smiles before pulling you closer with a nod. She almost starts to run her hand through your hair, but she figures that will make your headache worse. Instead, she merely sighs and shifts slightly so you’re both leaning against the couch. Billie listens to your breathing even out as you relax against her as the minutes pass. You’re almost completely on top of Billie by the time you fall asleep only ten minutes later.</p>
<p>You wake up around dinner time. You’re sure of this because it’s the sound of Milo scarfing down his food that rouses you from your sleep. You groan and sit up as you look around to see Milo’s tail sticking out from behind the counter. You take a second to sit and get acclimated to being up before you risk standing. You stop short; however, when you see the glass of water and the bottles on the table in front of you. You sigh before opening them and taking your pills before heading to the kitchen.</p>
<p>You find Billie standing at the counter watching Milo as he demolishes his food. You only look for a moment to see how much is left before giving up. You’re sure that Billie fed him the right amount, and if not, you don’t really care. You spoil your dog all the time.</p>
<p>“Did he wake you?”</p>
<p>You shake your head despite the fact that Milo had woken you up, but you ignore this fact since you have a better excuse. You smile as you meet Billie for a hug before stifling a yawn.</p>
<p>“No, I was just hungry. Have you eaten yet?”</p>
<p>Billie shakes her head as she places a kiss on your brow before checking the clock. You’d been asleep for about two hours and Billie was going to wake you up after walking Milo. She says this and you smile appreciatively before saying that you’ll go with her. Billie doesn’t say anything in response to this, instead she changes the subject.</p>
<p> “Are you feeling any better?”</p>
<p>You nod as you mention that you are and that you’d taken your meds. You look to Milo who is now finished eating and standing at your side watching you and Billie intently.</p>
<p>“I am thanks. I think I just got a stress headache from worrying so much.”</p>
<p>You pull away from Billie slightly as you say this, but you don’t move too far before you’re speaking again. You spare Milo a glance and scratch his head with a smile.</p>
<p>“I guess I was a little nervous about running into Doug again. I didn’t think-.”</p>
<p>You pause as you try to figure out what you were going to say.  You didn’t think that you wouldn’t consider what happened when you went to your apartment? That you wouldn’t be worried about seeing Doug and potentially getting hurt again? It seemed silly to say, but you had told yourself when you’d decided not to go to the police, that you’d handle it. That it would all be fine.</p>
<p>You suppose you haven’t really learned much since your dad died.</p>
<p>“Didn’t think what, Y/N?”</p>
<p>You didn’t realize how long you’d spaced out until Billie asks this. You turn back to her before shaking your head with an apology on the tip of your tongue. You stop short as something you haven’t heard in months comes to mind, and you hate yourself for cringing at the mere thought of her voice.</p>
<p>
  <em>Don’t you dare apologize.</em>
</p>
<p>Billie feels you stiffen and move away from her, and she watches as your expression turns dark. She isn’t sure where your mind just went, but she doesn’t get a chance to ask before you’re speaking in a tone that betrays your calm demeanor.</p>
<p>“I didn’t really consider it, but it was fine. We didn’t see him.”</p>
<p>Billie didn’t get a chance to respond to this before you turn to Milo and tell him to go grab his leash. She expects you to just run off with him, but you stop after a couple of steps before sighing in defeat. You turn back to Billie before shooting her a guilty look. You don’t apologize but you do promise to talk about this later. You just need to calm down a little.  </p>
<p>“I’ll tell you Billie, I just need a minute.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hi there! I hope everyone has survived this week of storms and everything else. ❤️. Angst in the beginning of this one. We’re wrapping things up but we still have some loose ends to tie up….</p><p>Warnings: angst, mentions of domestic abuse, mention of attempted sexual assault (I did the thing with the *** again)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You and Billie take Milo on a longer walk than you usually would at this time of day. It was almost dark, so there weren’t many people around making the walk a quiet one. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were dragging your feet a little to buy yourself some time. You intend on keeping your promise to Billie by telling her what was bothering you, but you keep doubting your decision.</p><p>Billie had told you that she didn’t care about your baggage. At the very least, she’d said that it wouldn’t change her feelings for you. Still, you hate to bring the issue up again because it seems like it’s been forever since you two just had a conversation about something nice, casual, and not stressful. You can’t remember the last time you two went out on a date, and you hate how tense and stressful everything is between you.  </p><p>Maybe it was just your insecurities, but you sigh as you and Billie come up on the end of the neighborhood. You’re probably going to turn around soon, if Milo would stop peeing.</p><p>“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”</p><p>You feel some of your anxiety melt away at that familiar term of endearment, and you turn toward Billie with a small smile. You squeeze her hand before shaking your head in refusal. You don’t really want to talk about this now because you are almost certain you’ll be crying for at least some of this conversation. Still, you don’t want to leave Billie hanging so you tell her the truth. At least as much of it as you’re willing to at the moment.</p><p>“I’m just thinking about everything that’s happened in the past few months. How much has changed.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t respond immediately. She watches how you turn back around, heading for home, with a faraway look. It seems more contemplative than anything else, but Billie can’t figure out what you’re trying to say.</p><p>“Good and bad?”</p><p>You smile as Milo leads the three of you back to Billie’s. He’s eager for his treat because he picks up the pace a little, but you just hold his leash tighter so he doesn’t drag you. You’re not really in the mood for that tonight.</p><p>“Yes, luckily more good than bad recently.”</p><p>You shoot Billie a charming smile that she practically melts at. She pulls you towards her so you’re close enough to kiss, and you laugh as you practically fall into the medium.</p><p>You mean what you say. That more good things have happened to you than bad. Unfortunately, the bad is starting to catch up with you due to your failure to deal with anything that really bothers you. You shut it out and you’re learning quickly that this is not a good thing. You know you need to work on this, but you’re just not sure how. How do you come to terms with things that are over and done with? Things that you hate to talk about?</p><p>Billie waits patiently as you find your next words. You look to Milo with a smile.  He’s looking back at you and Billie occasionally, as if making sure that you’re still there. You are once again reminded of how much your dog means to you, and how much he’s helped you these past few months.</p><p>“Things just started stacking up, you know? I didn’t deal with how my ex made me feel, and then my dad’s death, and now with this asshole I don’t even really know? It just seems like at this point it’s all too overwhelming. That I’m better off ignoring it.”</p><p>You can feel Billie about to respond to this, so you beat her to it with a sigh of defeat.</p><p>“I know I'm not, Billie. I just. I don’t know how to deal with it.”</p><p>You wait for what feels like years as Billie considers what you’re saying. She can’t really pretend like she knows how you feel, or what your logic is for not dealing with your problems. Having so many traumatic things happen in such rapid succession can leave anyone a little dazed and unsure of how to proceed. All she knows is what you told her, so Billie tries not to assume anything as she finally shoots you a smile.</p><p>You don’t notice because you’re too busy looking around for something. Billie doesn’t realize this until you fail to respond, or even acknowledge what she’s said after a few seconds.</p><p>“Well, what is it that makes you want to deal with it now?”</p><p>You’re too busy staring at a car that looks familiar to realize that Billie’s responded. You walk past the car that you swear was about a block away from Billie’s when you left before you look back to the medium. You see that she’s looking at you expectantly, and suddenly it clicks that you’ve missed something. You apologize before looking back over your shoulder with a frown.</p><p>“Sorry, I just—does that car look familiar to you? I feel like I’ve seen it multiple times on this walk already.”</p><p>You know it’s possible that there is more than one gold SUV in this neighborhood, but you can’t help but be a little paranoid. Billie frowns too as she looks to the car that they just passed. She honestly hadn’t been paying much attention to anything other than you and Milo. Mostly what you said and what she could sense from you. She shakes her head before turning back to you, and telling you the truth.</p><p>“Sorry, Y/N. I haven’t really been paying attention.”</p><p>You just nod at this before you decide that you’re just being paranoid. You continue down the street and you’re almost to Billie’s before you realize that you hadn’t asked what Billie had said at all.</p><p>“Wait, what were you saying earlier? I got distracted by potential stalkers.”</p><p>Billie just smiles at you as she shakes her head and turns to look at the dog that is coming your way. She watches as you hold Milo’s leash tighter and steer him in the other direction as he spots the dog and immediately starts tugging.</p><p>“Milo, knock it off.”</p><p>He listens, sort of, and you only have to move him to your other side, in between you and Billie for him to calm down.</p><p>“It’s okay. We can talk about it when we get back.”</p><p>You take this as an excuse to put it off again, so you simply nod before allowing your mind to wander.</p><p>Before you know it, you’re back at Billie’s and you’re taking care of Milo while Billie checks on the cats. It’s only 8 pm but you’re exhausted and could sleep now. You leave Milo in the living room as you head upstairs to take a shower. You go check on Billie first and you smile as you peek your head into the laundry room to see her sitting next to the kittens. As usual Bit barely acknowledges your presence.</p><p>“Hey, I’m going to shower, do you need anything?”</p><p>Billie just smiles at you and shakes her head. You’re not surprised to see that she’s holding Mickey and you smile at the adorable sight before leaving with a sigh. You can feel your headache coming back just at the thought of the conversation you started on the walk. You could just drop it and worry about it tomorrow, but you wanted to be honest. You also wanted someone to tell you that you were being ridiculous.</p><p>As you take off your clothes, find a towel and turn on the shower you think about how irrational you’re being. You have only run into Doug maybe half a dozen times since you moved to LA. You realized that you both like to go on early morning walks, in your case with Milo, every day and you at least saw each other maybe every other week. That wasn’t a big deal, and you knew it, but since you started dating Billie, you’d learned what a homophobic asshole he was. You almost felt like he sought you out sometimes, but that was ridiculous.</p><p>Right?</p><p>You think back to the last time you saw Doug, before he pushed you down the stairs. It had been in the mail room and he’s muttered a slur under his breath before leaving. He hadn’t touched you then, but clearly that hadn’t stuck. You think about how easy it should be to avoid him and how there was no real reason to be afraid.</p><p>As you’re standing in the shower trying to convince yourself that Doug isn’t a threat, you realize why you’re so fixated on this. Why you’re giving someone who doesn’t deserve a second thought, so much of your time and energy.</p><p>You groan under your breath at your own stupidity. Then you curse yourself for not knowing where to go from here, despite knowing what you need to do.</p><p>Why did life have to be so hard?</p><p>By the time you’re out of the shower your headache is back full-force. You groan as you manage to change clothes before you have to sit down on the bed. You close your eyes and just try to relax and will away your headache, but your head is still pounding almost 10 minutes later. You lie down on the bed and groan under your breath. You don’t realize how long you lay there until you almost fall asleep.</p><p>Milo gets bored downstairs and decides to come and look for either you or Billie. Since Billie was still with the kittens, he finds you first and he hurriedly pushes his way into the room and over to you. He starts pawing at your arm and you groan again before turning away from him.</p><p>“No, Milo stop! Go away.”</p><p>You hope that this will be enough to get your dog to leave you alone, but really you know Milo better than that. He sits down and whines loudly before he decides to take matters into his own hands. He circles the bed and jumps up on to it, jostling you and making your head throb annoyingly. You open your eyes to glare at him when he starts to lick your face.</p><p>“No! Bad Milo. Get down!”</p><p>Milo whines but he listens to you, and is on the ground by the time Billie is coming into the room. She looks inside, immediately seeing you curled up on the bed with your head under a pillow and Milo looking pitiful from where he sits on the floor just staring at you.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>You don’t have the energy to turn and face Billie and that really tells her all that she needs to know. Still, she cuts off the lights and walks towards the bed with a frown. You sigh before you chance a look out from under the pillow to see that Billie has turned off the lights. You know you shouldn’t be, but you’re surprised by this. Eventually you wave Billie off ineffectively.</p><p>“My head hurts, but it’s okay. I just need to lie here.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t say anything for a little while. She does some math in her head, realizing that you just took your meds before looking to Milo when he whines. She watches you flinch slightly at the sound and she makes the decision to take him off your hands.</p><p>“Other than taking Milo, is there anything I can do for you?”</p><p>You smile at this before removing the pillow from you face and turning so you are looking at Billie. You shake your head before regretting it instantly and cringing at your stupidity.</p><p>“That’s more than enough, thank you. I really think I just need to sleep it off.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t argue with you and she just leaves hoping that you’ll feel better sooner rather than later. She takes Milo downstairs with her, and gives him a treat when he sits down in the living room. She tries getting some work done, but she’s distracted and not worried enough about the interview to really focus. She’ll have all day tomorrow, not that she needed it, so she closes her computer before looking to Milo.</p><p>He’s licking his paws clean, but he looks up at Billie when she stands. He’s quick to get up too as Billie walks to the kitchen to get something to drink. She drinks most of a glass of wine standing at the counter as she stares out the window. It’s dark so she can’t see anything really, but she looks to where she knows the garden is, and wonders who would have snuck back there.</p><p>She’s afraid that she knows who it is, or at least why they were back there and she sighs in defeat. She considers how likely it is that you will continue to be bothered. She hopes that the novelty wears off soon, but there’s really no telling at this point. Billie just hopes that they leave you alone at least until you are feeling better.</p><p>Billie finishes her wine and cleans the kitchen before glancing at the clock. It’s a little early for her to sleep, but she figures she’ll walk Milo one last time and then check on the cats before going to bed. She would have to check on you too, but she was certain you were asleep at this point.</p><p>You are upstairs failing to sleep when your phone goes off from somewhere in the room. You groan, not sure of where you’d left it, and you are tempted to ignore it until it continues to vibrate. You sit up in bed forcing your eyes open as you scan the room. It is completely dark except for the dim light of your phone in the middle of the floor. Why had you left it there?</p><p>You sigh in relief when it finally stops vibrating, but you decide that you need to get it in case it starts again. You throw the covers that you’d managed to crawl under off of you before swinging your legs off to the side of the bed. You don’t bother standing up, you just drop to your knees before crawling towards you phone. You’re glad you’re alone because this probably looks as weird as it is, but you get your phone without aggravating your headache too much.</p><p>You silence it and carry it back with you before putting it on the side table. You groan under your breath as you simply close your eyes and just wait until you summon the energy to crawl back into bed. You glance at your phone realizing it is already 10, and you just hope that Billie will take care of Milo because you are not about to go downstairs to walk him.</p><p>You are almost asleep when Billie comes to check on you a little while later.</p><p>After taking care of the kittens and walking Milo, Billie gets ready for bed. She decides to leave Milo downstairs for the night, and he doesn’t seem to mind as he gets settled in the living room. She glances to your door before retreating into her room. She changes clothes, brushes her teeth and washes her face before she looks to her bed. She wants to check on your before sleeping, so she sneaks down the hall and opens the door as quietly as possible. </p><p>She looks in and sees that you’re under the covers and appear to be asleep. She turns to leave, starting to shut the door until she hears you shift and groan under your breath.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>Billie releases her hold on the door before she speaks as quietly as possible.</p><p>“Hi, Y/N. I was just checking to see if you needed anything?”</p><p>You don’t respond immediately, and you just sigh before shifting so you’re closer to the middle of the bed. You stifle a yawn as you speak up just loudly enough for Billie to hear.</p><p>“Yes, please. Come sit?”</p><p>Billie realizes that you’re making room for her and she sighs before walking further into the room. She shuts the door behind her before coming to stand at the side of the bed, watching as you throw back the covers for her.</p><p>“Are you sure there’s nothing you need? Water or--?”           </p><p>You just shake your head before patting the bed with a yawn. “Nope. Just you.”</p><p>Billie sighs in defeat as she simply nods before getting into bed next to you. She’s careful not to jostle you too much, but as soon as she’s lying under the covers, you’re moving closer to her. You wrap your arms around her tentatively before you peer up at her with a curious look that’s lost on her due to the darkness.</p><p>“Is this okay?”</p><p>Billie just smiles before telling you that it’s fine, so you lie down with your head on her shoulder before you close your eyes.</p><p>Billie is near sleep when you speak up again. She opens her eyes in surprise because she was certain that you had fallen asleep. She hadn’t expected you to speak so suddenly and she jumps slightly before turning to see that you’re looking at her. It’s too dark to really make out your expression, but Billie guesses that you’re frowning based on what you said.</p><p>***</p><p>“I never told you what was bothering me.”</p><p>Billie starts to shake her head but then realizes you may not notice. Your eyes are closed and you are still curled up against Billie as you fight off your headache. You open them slightly and even though there isn’t a lot of light coming in from the window, it’s enough to irritate you.</p><p>“You don’t have to tell me, Y/N. It’s late.”</p><p>Billie waits as you figure out how you want to respond. You don’t say anything immediately. You just sigh as you try to get move comfortable, and turn so you’re able to see Billie’s face. At least the little bit of it that’s visible.</p><p>“I know. I just don’t want you to be mad.”</p><p>Billie isn’t sure what to say to this at first and decides to wait until you elaborate. You don’t however so she just asks the obvious question.</p><p>“Why would I be mad?”</p><p>You take a deep breath before you move away a little so you can see Billie without being on top of her. You don’t realize that she takes this the wrong way. You’re too worried about not saying the wrong thing.</p><p>“I want to tell you what she did so you understand why I’m like this. I just don’t want you to be mad.”</p><p>Billie frowns at this and opens her mouth to say something, but you beat her to it. You need to speak up before you lose your nerve. You frown at the thought of what happened earlier tonight. You hate how just talking to Billie had somehow reminded you of her. She and Billie couldn’t be more different, but you supposed it couldn’t be helped. You could only do better.</p><p>“She used to yell at me for apologizing too much. She’d tell me I was worthless because I was too soft.”</p><p>You close your eyes, missing Billie’s look as you try to block out the memories of all the fights you used to have. Maybe you had been too soft. You’d stopped fighting against her because arguing seemed useless, and eventually you’d run instead of trying to figure things out. Not that you believed you could have. Billie on the other hand, is thinking back to your conversation in the kitchen and how your demeanor had changed so suddenly. Had she done something to make you think of your ex?</p><p>“I’m not telling you so you feel bad, for me. I’m just realizing that with the whole thing that happened with Doug, not dealing with how she made me feel isn’t an option.”</p><p>Billie had been waiting for you to say this. Since she’d asked you on the walk with Milo why you were wanting to figure this out now. It was less of a mystery to Billie now given what you’ve told her, but she wanted to know your intentions, and if she could help.</p><p>“I just have some things I need to unlearn.”</p><p>Billie is quiet for a while as she considers what you could be talking about. You yawn and close your eyes again, feeling sleepier now that you’re nice and comfortable. You don’t realize how Billie’s deep in thought until she speaks up. You’re so shocked by what she says that you nearly sit up.</p><p>“When Milo interrupted us in the kitchen…was that because of something your ex did?”</p><p>You had not been expecting Billie to bring this up. Sure you’d explained to Billie why Milo had reacted the way he had, but you suppose you hadn’t told her exactly what had happened. You’d mentioned being pushed around. You hadn’t wanted to tell Billie all of the details.</p><p>Now; however, Billie was asking for clarification and you wanted to give it to her. It just meant that you had to talk about something you hadn’t told anyone.</p><p>This probably needed to change.</p><p>“Yes. She um-we were fighting and she shoved me onto the counter and-.”</p><p>You trailed off as you recall what happened that day. You’d been out with some friends for too long, and the two of you had gotten into a yelling match. It quickly turned physical and you found yourself pinned beneath her.</p><p>You don’t notice how you start to fidget, and your hands go to your hair as you clear your throat.</p><p>“She tried to force herself on me, but Milo scared her off.”</p><p>You briefly wonder where your dog is before your attention is brought back to Billie. She reaches out for one of the hands that is currently tugging at your hair with a questioning look. You meet her the rest of the way and sigh in relief when she pulls you closer.</p><p>“I’m sorry if that, or anything else I’ve done has made you uncomfortable. If I ever do something you don’t like, tell me. I won’t be offended.”</p><p>You shake your head immediately because you didn’t want this. You don’t want Billie to apologize for doing something that you’d wanted. You hadn’t been thinking about anything but Billie when Milo had interrupted you two. You’d been surprised that he reacted the way he did because honestly other than that one similarity, there was nothing else about that encounter that resembled what happened with your ex.</p><p>“Billie, no. You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, or that I didn’t like.”</p><p>You sigh as you run your fingers over Billie’s absentmindedly as you play with her nails.</p><p>“It’s—it wasn’t the same. I’m not sure why Milo reacted that way, and…”</p><p>You take a deep breath, fighting the blush you know will appear at your next words. It’s dark enough that Billie won’t see it, but you’re sure she can hear it as you stutter slightly.</p><p>“The way you tease me is only in a way I-um like, and I love every second of it.”</p><p>Billie only manages a weak smile at this. She’s too busy thinking about how so many of the things she’s done or said to you could have been triggering. Initially, she hadn’t thought your shyness was due to anything other than your personality. She hadn’t considered you’d been hurt and that you were reluctant to trust people. Billie suddenly felt awful for somehow not realizing this sooner.</p><p>Billie sighs and you frown when you realize that she’s not cutting herself any slack. This is what you’d been worried about. You didn’t want Billie to beat herself up over this. She hadn’t done anything wrong.</p><p>“Just—please. If I ever do anything that’s out of line, let me know?”</p><p>You nod immediately before leaning forward to kiss Billie’s cheek. You smile, sincerely hoping that she catches a glimpse of it before you sigh and squeeze Billie’s hand tightly.</p><p>“You’ve been so sweet, and so considerate with me Billie. I feel so lucky and I know you may think it’s a big deal, but sometimes I’m okay with being bossed around. If it’s the right person and you’re kind, which you are.”</p><p>You stop rambling abruptly and take a deep breath before everything that you’d said registers. You’re slightly mortified by that last bit, but you don’t get a chance to think too much about it before Billie just laughs breathily and nods more to herself than to you. She leans in to kiss your forehead and then your nose before sighing in relief.</p><p>Okay, good. But, Y/N--.”</p><p>You already know what she’s going to say, so you cut her off with a kiss. You move closer to her so she can wrap her arms around your waist and pull you against her. You sigh in contentment before nodding with a small smile.</p><p>“Yes, I will tell you if I don’t like something, Billie. I promise.”</p><p>***</p><p>When you wake up the next morning, you forget where you are for just a second. Despite all of the convincing you’d done yesterday, mostly to yourself, you’d had a dream about Doug. You’d been in your apartment with Milo, and it had been a normal day. The dream had promptly ended when you’d woken up after answering the door to see Doug standing there with that same damn scowl of his.</p><p>You look around as you sit up with a groan. The bed is empty and you lie back down when your head pounds painfully. You’re parched and need to drink something, but you’re too lazy to get up. You settle back into bed, only having a few seconds to wonder where Billie is before the bedroom door opens.</p><p>You’re convinced that Billie is able to read your mind when you see that she’s brought two cups of something with her. You smile as you take the cup of coffee that is mostly milk, before kissing Billie in thanks. She smiles at you before moving to sit beside you. You sit up, careful not to spill before draining half the cup.</p><p>“You’re my favorite, did you know that?”</p><p>Billie laughs in response as she places her cup on the side table before scooting closer to you. She eyes you curiously but you miss it as you turn to put your cup down with a smile. You turn back to Billie when she places a hand on your thigh.</p><p>“Your favorite what?”</p><p>Your smile turns down slightly as you think about this, but it quickly widens as you shrug in faux disinterest. There’s a lot you could say but instead you decide to be sincere as you place a hand on top of Billie’s. You play with one of her rings before you meet her gaze with a smile.</p><p>“My favorite person, probably. You’ve been such a huge help and I’m just really grateful.”</p><p>You look away slightly embarrassed by what you say, but Billie stops you with a hand on your cheek. She’s smiling as she runs her fingers along you jaw before shaking her head.</p><p>“You deserve it, Y/N. I hope you know that.”</p><p>You roll your eyes, about to argue in some way but Billie cuts you off before you can even get a word out. You don’t feel like arguing once Billie’s lips touch yours and you sigh before leaning into the medium. Her hand moves to the back of your head to tangle in your hair as you kiss Billie harder. You groan as Billie tugs on your hair a little, and you turn so you’re closer to her. You don’t get a chance to reach out for her before Billie’s moving away from you.</p><p>You frown and you’re about to ask what’s wrong before Billie speaks up. Her hand falls from your hair and moves to your cheek again, Billie’s shooting you a concerned look as she runs her thumb along your bottom lip.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>You smile slightly before your brow furrows in confusion. You’re used to Billie checking in with you, but it seems a little early for her. Usually she wouldn’t ask until you two got a little further along in what you were doing, but as you search Billie’s face for an explanation you realize that you are overlooking something that was fairly important.</p><p>“Um, I’m fine, how are you feeling?”</p><p>Billie realizes that you don’t really understand what she’s asking so she drops her hand into her lap.</p><p>“Your head, Y/N.”</p><p>Your eyes widen before you nod in confirmation. You smile before closing the gap between you and Billie again with another nod.</p><p>“Yes! It’s much better. I promise.”</p><p>You wait until Billie’s skeptical look disappears, and you smirk when she sighs in defeat. You move so you’re practically in Billie’s lap before she speaks up.</p><p>“You promise?”</p><p>You nod enthusiastically before leaning back in to kiss Billie. She doesn’t let you take lead for long and you just smile as she grabs your hips and pulls you into her lap. You resist the urge to groan as her fingernails dig into the sensitive skin at your waist. You sigh as Billie parts your lips and your hands immediately find her hair. You ignore the voice at the back of your mind telling you to take it easy. You’ve been here for three days and you and Billie hadn’t done more than kiss in passing.</p><p>You were recovering, sure, but that doesn’t stop your libido from rearing it’s head. In fact, it seems that spending time with Billie like this and getting to see her all the time has the opposite effect. Not that you expected anything else. You loved spending time with Billie, but you hated that you couldn’t do anything other than sit around.</p><p>You supposed this didn’t exactly count as just sitting around.</p><p>Your hold on Billie’s hair tightens as the blonde’s hands start to wander. You are too distracted by Billie’s hands sneaking under your shirt to hear Milo immediately. Billie just chooses to ignore him because he’s been fed and walked. All he really wants now is attention. You hiss at the feeling of Billie’s hands sliding up your back, but you jump when Milo stops whining and decides to scratch at the door.  You groan as you turn away from Billie to glare at the closed door. You don’t move because you’re not about to leave now. Milo can entertain himself for a while.</p><p>“Milo, no! Go away.”</p><p>Milo continues to scratch at the door, and you groan before shouting at him again. He stops but continues to whine, but you roll your eyes and just turn back to Billie. You smile before shifting your weight on Billie’s lap as you lean towards her again.</p><p>“He can take care of himself for a little bit.”</p><p>Milo sits at the door waiting for you to open it for a couple of minutes before giving up. Mostly, he is distracted by the sound of someone coming up the stairs. He turns and sees Bit grooming herself. The two of them had mostly avoided each other because Bit didn’t want anything to do with Milo. So she eyes him warily as she cleans her coat just down the hall from him. Since Milo didn’t have any luck with you, he decides to go see if Bit wants to play with him.</p><p>Once Milo left you and Billie alone, the two of you had picked up right where you left off. You’re shirtless and horizontal by the time that you hear Bit yowling and hissing from the hallway. You curse under your breath as you sit up quickly and hurry to jump off the bed. Billie is right behind you when you open the door to the sound of Bit hissing loudly at Milo who is crouched down in his play bow in front of the cat. Bit however, is having none of it, and she hisses at him as he tries to get closer to her.</p><p>“Milo! Hey, come here.”</p><p>You hurry to pull Milo away from Bit who has her back arched and looks like she wants to claw the shit out of him. Luckily, Milo turns to you when you call his name and he bounds over to you. He jumps scratching you and you yell at him before telling him to sit.</p><p>“Ow! Milo no! Sit down.”</p><p>Once Milo is out of the way Bit runs to the laundry room to escape. It’s not open so Billie goes to let her in while you take Milo back to Billie’s room. You tell him to sit as you find your shirt and get dressed. You don’t find it immediately, and Billie returns before you manage to pull it back on. You sigh once you’re finally dressed and you shoot Milo a glare before smiling at Billie.</p><p>“I guess I’m up now.”</p><p>It’s lunch time before you and Billie have a moment of peace. Milo has decided to be a demon today, and Billie got stuck on calls for work that she hadn’t been expecting. She didn’t have too much to do in terms of preparing for Friday. It was really just another couple of interviews, one in the morning and one late at night, if you understood correctly.</p><p>You didn’t have much to do either. You didn’t work until Monday, but Milo was causing you more trouble than usual. He was being a brat and not leaving you alone until you took him outside. After the third time you told him that he was staying put until after lunch. He did not like this and started whining loudly. You didn’t want him disturbing Billie so you cave and take him outside again. This time, you go to the backyard to get him to calm down and to get some fresh air. You’re surprised by how sunny it is outside until you remember that you had been wearing sunglasses for the last two times you walked Milo. Your headache had come back and the only way to make walking him tolerable was to wear them.</p><p>You let Milo wander around the yard while you lie down in one of the chairs on the deck. You watch Milo carefully, but he hasn’t shown much interest in going beyond Billie’s yard. Still, you call him over after a few minutes and he comes to lie down next to you after planting a messy kiss on your cheek. You groan before scratching his muzzle and then squishing his ears.</p><p>“Are you feeling better now? Less bratty?”</p><p>Milo only licks you again before resting his head on your stomach. It doesn’t look super comfortable how he’s sitting, but you don’t protest as you lie back and stretch out your legs with a yawn. You definitely could fall asleep here if you’re not careful.</p><p>Billie sighs as she finally hangs up the phone after almost an hour of talking to her producer. She hadn’t expected this call and she was a little ticked. She needed a break from work for a while to cool off. She looks at the clock and sees that it is almost 1. She didn’t realize how late it was and now she’s annoyed for another reason.</p><p>Billie had been planning on eating with you, maybe even going out, but she figured you already had lunch. It had been about an hour since she’d seen you last.</p><p>Billie sighs as she stands up to search for you, but once she steps into the kitchen, she immediately sees Milo on the deck. She walks towards the back door and finally sees you lying in one of the chairs. Your eyes are closed making Billie think that you are probably asleep, so she opens the door quietly.</p><p>Milo notices her first of course and his tail starts to wag as he stands up to greet her. Billie smiles reaching out for him as she sneaks a peek at you, confirming that you are definitely asleep. You look comfortable all stretched out and Billie was tempted to leave you to rest.</p><p>You woke up, unsurprisingly, when Milo whined from beside you. You groan softly as you open your eyes, quickly covering them when you realize you were still outside.</p><p>“Tired?”</p><p>You turn suddenly at the sound of Billie’s voice, and you see her sitting in the chair next to you with Milo sitting between you. You smile before sitting up and shaking your head. Despite this, you yawn but ignore Billie’s look before asking how her calls went.</p><p>“Billie, hi. How did it go? Are you done?”</p><p>Billie sits up as well as she turns toward you with a sigh. She was tired, but she got most of the work she needed to do today done. You smile at this and you stand up and move to sit next to Billie. You consider sitting closer, but settle down beside her before responding.</p><p>“That’s great. So you have most of the afternoon off?”</p><p>You can’t help but smile widely as you ask this, and Billie of course, sees right through you. She laughs before pretending to think about this for a moment. She knows her answer already and is certain that you do too, but she looks to Milo briefly before making a contemplative noise.</p><p>“Hmm I’m not sure. I might be able to find more work to do.”</p><p>You pout at this and decide to see if you can convince Billie to find something better to do than work. You slide onto Billie’s lap and wrap your arms around her neck with a dramatic sigh.</p><p>“Billie, come onnn. There has to be something more exciting you can do. If you really don’t have to work…”</p><p>You shoot Billie a pleading look and the medium just smirks as she pulls you closer. You lean in to kiss her, but she turns away last minute making you pout yet again. You don’t frown for long though before Billie finally asks you what you had in mind.</p><p>“I guess I don’t have to, but what could possibly be more exciting than work?”</p><p>You kiss Billie’s cheek before looking around the backyard briefly. You weren’t too worried about being seen because Milo would probably warn you if you were no longer alone. So you just shrug before leaning in for a proper kiss. Your smile widens when Billie doesn’t turn away this time.</p><p>“I’m sure we can think of something.”</p><p>It was almost 3 pm before you and Billie got around to eating lunch. You were already thinking take out when Billie speaks up. She’s standing at the counter pouring the two of you glasses of water while you sit on the couch with Milo at your feet.</p><p>“What do you want to do for lunch? I was thinking we would go out, until we got sidetracked.”</p><p>You smile and turn to Billie as she says this. You thank her as you take one of the glasses before moving over so she can sit down. She smiles in thanks as you pick up your phone again to show Billie what you were looking at.</p><p>“Ah, right. Maybe we can just order in and go out another time?”</p><p>You turn to Billie who watches as you grab your phone before nodding. She thinks about when the best time for this would be. Given that she’s so busy tomorrow she doesn’t want to promise anything. However, she knows that she may need to destress after the interviews and her favorite way to relax was spending time with you.</p><p>“How about we go out tomorrow after I finish up working, if I’m not too exhausted?”</p><p>You turn to Billie with a surprised look. You are certain that you will be exhausted the time Billie finishes working tomorrow. One of her interviews was at night, and you liked staying up sometimes, but you’re not sure you want to stay up that late.</p><p>“Uhh, won’t you be working until midnight?”</p><p>Billie laughs at this before shaking her head. She now understands your bewildered look, but she just smiles before clarifying what tomorrow will look like.</p><p>“No, sweetheart. We’re filming that interview in the afternoon. It won’t really be live.”</p><p>You nod as realization dawns on you and you almost sigh in relief. You love spending time with Billie, but you’re not sure you could commit to anything after midnight.</p><p>“Okay. Well then sure. If you’re up to it.”</p><p>You both spend a few minutes talking about what to order for lunch before planning tomorrow night. Since you’re not sure if Billie is going to be in the mood to go out, you decide on a place that doesn’t require reservations. Billie asks you if there is anywhere you would like to go. You don’t know many places that you would want, and since Billie knows more about the area you suggest that she chooses.</p><p>“Well, we could go somewhere that allows dogs.”</p><p>You’re a little caught off guard by this and you shoot Billie a confused look. You turn to Milo before looking back to Billie with a small smile.</p><p>“You want Milo to come with us? On a date?”</p><p>Billie simply shrugs before saying why not. She likes Milo and has a feeling he’d be well behaved. Also, she didn’t want him staying at home alone with the cats for too long. When Billie says this, you smile in understanding before trying to think of a way that you could make him staying here work. Just in case Billie didn’t really want him tagging along. You of course thought of several reasons why having him would be beneficial, but you keep those to yourself for now.</p><p>“Are you sure, Billie? We can figure something else out.”</p><p>Billie just smiles again before shaking her head. She reaches out for your hand before glancing at Milo who is looking at you like he always is.</p><p>“I want you to be comfortable, Y/N, and I also don’t want you worrying about him. If that means we’re forced to have a handsome escort for our date, well, I think I can live with that.”</p><p>You laugh at this before shaking your head in disbelief. You’re not sure how you managed to get so lucky after your last relationship, and you don’t think you’ll ever stop wondering. You squeeze Billie’s hand before nodding in agreement. You’re sure you will enjoy it either way, but you are glad that Billie seems sincere when she says that she doesn’t mind the third wheel.</p><p>“Okay. Thank you, Billie.”</p><p>She just smiles before kissing you soundly. You eventually pull away when your phone buzzes, but you don’t bother looking at it as you turn to Milo with a smile. Billie just rolls her eyes with an amused chuckle before pulling you back towards her.</p><p>“Get cleaned up Milo, you need to look nice for our date tomorrow.”  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hi I’m back! Exam week kicked my ass and I feel like my brain cells are gone, but here’s another chapter!</p><p>Warnings: not many? Annoying interviewers?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Billie is already gone for the first interview by the time you wake up. She told you the night before that she didn’t want to wake you this time and you hadn’t argued. After dinner your headache had come back and despite taking your medicine, it followed you into sleep. You had woken up briefly when Billie left, but your head was hurting too much to stay awake. You may have thanked her when she said that she would walk and feed Milo before leaving him in the living room.</p><p>Now you were up and about and feeling a lot better. After taking your medication and drinking an obscene amount of water, you are able to make your way downstairs to Milo. He’s waiting patiently for you which is a bit of a surprise, but you’re glad to see that he’s gotten the restlessness out of his system. You scratch him behind the ears and let him lick your hand before you head for the kitchen. It’s already 9 am and you know Billie will be on soon, but you also know that watching her interview right now would make your headache worse.</p><p>You plan on watching it later, once you’re feeling better, but for now you’re more concerned about breakfast. You open the fridge and grab a handful of ingredients before you get cooking. Your phone buzzes when you’re finishing up, and you turn around to where you set it on the counter with a sigh. You need to learn to silence your phone since it only seemed to go off when you had a headache.</p><p>
  <em>Hi Doc, hope you’re feeling better!</em>
</p><p>You smile in surprise at the message from Erin. You hadn’t been expecting to hear from her again, but you’re glad to. You message her for a few minutes before she mentions your car. She says that nothing has happened, but that she and Lindsey were willing to bring it by your apartment or Billie’s if you wanted. They would be free later today since they only worked a half shift. You’re tempted to tell her not to worry about it because you really don’t need your car, but you’re paranoid and would like to have it nearby.</p><p>Eventually you tell Erin that you will be here all day and if she and Lindsey really want to, they can bring it. There is a spare key in your desk because within the first week of working there you had locked your keys in your car and that had been embarrassing to deal with. You told Erin some of this before thanking her and finally getting to your breakfast. You nearly trip over Milo when you turn to leave the kitchen. You hadn’t realized that he was now sitting right beside you, and you curse under your breath as you nearly fall on your face and drop all of your food.</p><p>“Shit! Milo. Watch out!”</p><p>Milo just stares at you waiting until you decide to move again, and you just sigh before shaking your head. You shoot him a look before rolling your eyes when he fails to respond.</p><p>“What are we going to do all day, Milo?”</p><p>As soon as Billie was off the set, she was lighting a cigarette. She was ticked off and she wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. She definitely could have done without this interview, but unfortunately she had underestimated people’s interest in her love life. She sighs as she pushes open the door to the outside and hurries across the parking lot to her car. She didn’t get in it immediately, despite her rush because she didn’t want it smelling like smoke.</p><p>Billie leans against her car with another sigh that quickly becomes a groan. She wasn’t sure why people were so fixated on her relationship. Sure, it was new and exciting, but it wasn’t anyone’s business but her own. Billie hoped that you hadn’t been watching this one because she talked about her show for maybe a total of five minutes before things took a turn toward her personal life.</p><p>She hadn’t said anything more than last time, but this interviewer was definitely pushier about it. He had insinuated things that Billie didn’t appreciate and she had told him this in a way that was difficult to misunderstand.</p><p>Of course, he had, or at least pretended to, and she’d had to sit through another five minutes of him trying to not flat out ask if you were sleeping together yet.</p><p>Billie puts out her cigarette before getting in her car. She doesn’t know where she’s going because she needs to be at the other studio in a couple of hours, but she doesn’t want to head there yet. She starts the car and begins her drive to nowhere in particular.</p><p>She’s still a little peeved and muttering to herself when her phone rings. She pulls into a nearby lot because she knows better than to try and dig through her purse while driving. She grabs it right before it stops ringing and she frowns when she sees that it was you. She is about to call you back when her phone dings as your text comes in.</p><p>
  <em>He was kind of an ass, wasn’t he?” </em>
</p><p>Billie laughs at this before putting her phone back in her purse. She decides that she’s going to make a detour on her way to her next interview.</p><p>You jump in surprise when the front door opens suddenly. You turn quickly to see Billie walking through the door with a tried sigh. You watch as Milo jumps up only to wag his tail when he sees who it is. You jump off the couch before hurrying over to Billie with your arms held out and what you hope is a sympathetic smile.</p><p>“Hi. Rough day?”</p><p>Billie just groans under her breath before nodding in agreement. She pulls you into a hug and you feel her relax immediately as you hold her tightly. You sigh before speaking into her shoulder because you’re not ready to pull away yet.</p><p>“I’m sorry he was such an idiot. You handled him well though. I definitely would not have.”</p><p>You laugh slightly before pulling away and leading Billie to the kitchen. You pull out a chair for her at the counter motioning for her to sit down. She does with a small smile before watching you head to the fridge. You aren’t sure what to grab because Billie technically has to leave, you glance at the clock before looking to Billie with a frown.</p><p>“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be at your next interview?”</p><p>Billie just laughs before taking the offered glass of water with a quiet thank you. You just smile as you lean on the counter and prop your head on your hands. Billie shoots you a look that you just smile at in amusement.</p><p>“Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?”</p><p>You nod immediately before deadpanning. “Definitely. I have someone coming over soon.”</p><p>You watch as Billie rolls her eyes before taking a long sip of her water. You don’t realize you’re staring until Billie speaks and you look up to see her smirking at you.</p><p>“Is that right?”</p><p>You just nod dumbly because you honestly can’t even remember what you just said to her. You are too busy admiring Billie’s appearance, she’s all made up for television again, to realize that she’s caught on to this, and she reaches out for you. You turn as Billie’s hand moves to your cheek and it takes you a moment to focus on what she’s saying long enough to respond.</p><p>“You’re waiting for someone?”</p><p>You nod again before saying the first thing that comes to mind. “Yeah. Erin.”</p><p>You don’t elaborate as you take a sip of your own water. You’re still forcing yourself to drink as much as possible because it has made your headache better. You take a long gulp before looking back to Billie. She’s frowning and you open your mouth to ask what’s wrong, but she speaks first.</p><p>“Erin’s coming over?”</p><p>Your eyes widen in realization before you nod and look to the clock again. She wouldn’t be over until later, maybe not until three, and you say this before mentioning what you’d talked about earlier.</p><p>“At some point this afternoon yes. She’s dropping off my car.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t say anything for a second. She’s thinking about how you shouldn’t be driving yet, but she holds back on saying this before simply asking the obvious question.</p><p>You tell Billie about how Erin had checked in on you earlier and then offered to bring your car over.  You make sure to mention that you don’t even want to drive yet, but that you are really a little paranoid about keeping it there. Billie smiles sympathetically at this because she can understand where you’re coming from. She just sighs before pulling out the chair next to her and moving to it before shooting you a questioning look. She pats the chair that she’d been sitting in and you smile slightly before moving to sit next to Billie. The medium wraps an arm around your shoulders with a smirk.</p><p>“You know if you wanted me to drive you somewhere, you only had to ask.”</p><p>Billie is mostly kidding because she believes that you didn’t really want to go anywhere.  Still, she loves to tease you and you half groan, half whine under your breath as you turn to face your girlfriend.</p><p>“The only place I want to go Billie, other than the grocery store at some point, is to that restaurant we talked about. If you’re up to it later.”</p><p>You watch as Billie’s smile widens and she laughs before leaning in to kiss you. She pulls away before tilting her head slightly.</p><p>“You want to go to the grocery store?”</p><p>Billie leaves shortly after because she still has an interview to get to. Before leaving, however, she had promised that you two could go shopping once she’s back. You now were just sitting around with Milo waiting until Erin and Lindsey showed up. You had just walked him again and now he was sleeping at your feet as you play a game on your phone. You were tired but restless at the same time, and you didn’t know what to do about it. Finally, you decide that you should go upstairs to check on the kittens. You haven’t felt on any of them in a while, so you figure now was as good a time as any.</p><p>You find that Bit is on her way out so you just let her by before you hurry inside to see the kittens. You see them lying in their bed all on top of one another and you smile when you realize that Mickey is on top. He’s shifting in his sleep and you just sit down and watch him kick his siblings as he tries to get more comfortable.</p><p>After watching more another minute, you decide to grab him and spare the other kittens. You smile as he mewls in annoyance and you hold him up as you admire how much he’s grown. He’s definitely a little chunky, but you’re not going to tell Billie that, at least not until you’re back at work, but he’s also no longer at the bottom of the pile. Figuratively and literally.</p><p>You hold him for a little while longer before putting him back with the rest of the kittens. You don’t want to bother them so you decide to head downstairs and see what Milo is up to. You haven’t heard anything since leaving him which could be good or bad. You expect Bit to be as far away from your dog as possible. You walk down the stairs and nearly fall when you spot Milo in the living room. He is exactly where you left him, licking his paws and lying on the rug. You stop in your tracks though when you see that Bit is practically leaning against Milo as she grooms herself, not a care in the world.</p><p>You’re not sure if you’re more surprised by the fact that Bit is hanging out with Milo, or that Milo isn’t paying her any mind. You really wish you had your phone to take a picture to send it to Billie. However, it doesn’t matter for much longer because once you start walking again and reach the bottom of the stairs Milo spots you and he abandons his spot on the rug to come say hi. You smile as you reach out to scratch him.</p><p>“Hey, Milo. Making friends?”</p><p>He doesn’t respond. Instead, he turns to the front door when the doorbell rings. You are halfway to the kitchen to get your phone, but you turn around and hurry to the door instead. Erin is early.</p><p>You usher Milo out of the way, and he’s sitting behind you watching intently as you open the door. Erin and Lindsey are standing on the front porch, the former holding out your keys to you. You smile as you wave the two of them in. They’re in their work clothes so they must have come straight here, which made sense. You peek behind them and see your car parked on the street and you smile wider as you close the door behind them.</p><p>“Hi you two. Thank you so much for coming by. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble?”</p><p>Both of them shake their heads as they meet Milo who is quick to greet them. He of course recognizes them and it doesn’t take him long to end up on his back asking for scratches. They indulge him for a little while before you lead the pair to the kitchen with a smile.</p><p>“Do either of you want anything to drink? Did you just come from work?”</p><p>You’re heading to the fridge when Erin responds and you stop short at what she says.</p><p>“I’m good, thanks! We did, but it was only a half day so it wasn’t too bad.”</p><p>You smile at this before turning to Lindsey who’s nodding in agreement. You turn to see Milo who is sitting at their feet sniffing them. He certainly smells every appointment that each of them had seen today. You are about to call him off when Lindsey reaches out to pet him.</p><p>“Yeah, it was the usual, minus you of course. We hope you’re feeling better?”</p><p>You smile at this before nodding in confirmation. Your headache comes and goes and it’s worse if you’re doing certain things. It hasn’t been too bad today though. You mention a few other things about how you’ve just been sitting around and you were bored out of your mind before you change the subject. You are excited to get back to work, but you also don’t really want to be back in the public eye again. However, you decide that you need to ask since they just came from work.  </p><p>“Are there reporters still camped out at work?”</p><p>You motion for the two who had just been standing to sit down at the counter. You watch as Erin scowls while Lindsey cringes slightly at your question. You can’t help but sigh in defeat at your wishful thinking. You should have known that it wouldn’t be that easy.</p><p>Erin sighs as she sits down and crosses her arms before nodding in confirmation.</p><p>“Unfortunately. It’s obvious that you’re not there, but I think they’re just waiting it out.”</p><p>Lindsey nods in agreement watching as you frown in annoyance. You just hope that they haven’t been bothering anyone.</p><p>“They’re not harassing anyone are they?”</p><p>This time Lindsey shakes her head and she mentions how they don’t leave their cars whenever they come by. They appeared at opening like clockwork and left after all the doctors were gone.</p><p>“Nope. They’re just waiting. I guess they didn’t see the interviews.”</p><p>This makes you stop and you smile slightly as Lindsey stiffens and Erin stops petting Milo when the blonde says this. So they saw Billie’s interviews. You couldn’t help but ask since you knew your opinion was biased as hell.</p><p>“You watched Billie’s interviews?”</p><p>Erin realizes that there really was no point in trying to lie. She was near obsessed with Billie and she didn’t hide it well. She looks to Lindsey while nodding and admitting what she’d thought about them.</p><p>“Yeah, we watched the first one. She’s very good a deflecting.”</p><p>You smile slightly at this before you look to the clock. You hope that Billie is doing alright and that she won’t be given too much grief at this next interview.</p><p>Billie tries not to fidget as she sits across from her next interviewer in front of a full house. She was about to start the next interview and she was eager to get going because she wants to be done. Specifically, she wants to see you. She hopes that this one goes better than the last because she wasn’t in the mood to deal with invasive questions.</p><p>Billie sits up as the host, Dave sighs and smiles at her before glancing to the audience.</p><p>“Glad you could join us today; I know we’re all excited to hear about the next season of your show.”</p><p>The audience cheers at this and Billie lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She can talk about her show no problem. She could talk anyone’s ear off about how much she loves what she does and how grateful she is to get the chance to help people.</p><p>She spends the first ten minutes answering questions about her experiences filming her show. She answers what the scariest part of the season would be, which ironically she’d had nightmares about for a while. Then she talked about her favorite moments. She was most excited for everyone to see the last episode, and she talks about that as much as she can without spoiling it.</p><p>They are about half way through the interview when the conversation starts to stray from her show. Billie just smiles and answers the easiest question she’s had all day.</p><p>“Yes, for about a month.”</p><p>Dave just smiles before he asks a few questions that Billie is sure he and most of the audience already know the answers to. Billie just nods before holding back the urge to sigh at the line of questioning. She manages a smile instead.</p><p>“Yes, she’s a vet.”</p><p>Dave’s expression changes slightly, and Billie doesn’t know why until he speaks up again. He’s shooting her a curious look, but Billie can tell that he’s holding back a smile, maybe even a smirk. She doesn’t have much time to consider it before he asks his deceptively innocent question.</p><p>“Y/N moved here recently, right? How is she adjusting to LA?”</p><p>Billie tells the truth. She says that you’ve been here a couple months and you are still getting acclimated to the city. You work a lot and you honestly don’t get out much. Billie says this with a smile and in the nicest way possible. She’s mostly teasing, but she knows you wouldn’t be able to deny it.</p><p>Billie smiles before she shrugs and says something about how she’s going to make sure you get out more.</p><p>“I’m going to have to show her around once she’s better.”</p><p>This prompts Dave to ask about how you’ve been doing since the accident. Billie still hates that word, but she just goes with and says what she told the other two interviewers. Both of them seemed more concerned, or rather sincere, when they asked compared to Dave. It seemed perfunctory and Billie just reminds herself that it wasn’t worth it. At least he was asking.</p><p>“She’s doing much better yes. Thank you. “</p><p>Dave nods in response before he jumps to the next question. Billie has to remind herself not to react too much at it, but she stiffens a little before she sits up straighter.</p><p>“Does Y/N have any family in the area?”</p><p>Billie simply shakes her head before saying ‘no’. She decides to keep it short and not give any extra information in hopes that this will tip Dave off. She realizes that her effort is in vain because he just nods before asking her to elaborate.</p><p>“She has sisters that live back East, but that’s it.”</p><p>Billie knows where this is heading as soon as Dave shoots her a dubious look, but she sincerely hopes she’s wrong.</p><p>You sigh as you sit with Milo on the couch just trying to get some rest. You are glad that Erin and Lindsey were able to bring your car over, but talking to them, even for only about twenty minutes did a number on you. Your head started hurting about ten minutes in, but you were trying to power through which of course only made it worse. Luckily it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could be, so you were just riding it out.</p><p>You were lying down hoping it would just go away, and after about half an hour you were feeling well enough to risk a couple of minutes on your phone. You knew that Billie was filming her second interview and you hope that it went well for her. You don’t want a repeat of this morning, but there was no way of knowing now. You had to wait until Billie called or came back.</p><p>You leave your messages and look at the calendar absentmindedly. You go back to work on Monday and that’s the 5<sup>th</sup>. You pause as you look at the following week and you sigh before quickly locking your phone. You set it down before sitting up and reaching out for Milo with a sigh. You scratch him for a little bit before motioning for him to follow you. You try not to think too much about the weekend coming up, as you and Milo head to the backyard.</p><p>You’ve come to like spending time back here. It’s quiet, private and a great place to nap. You had been tempted to just go back to bed earlier, but it was sunny and didn’t want Milo’s fur getting on the bed. You put Milo’s leash on and lead him to the edge of the yard so he can pee before taking him back to the deck. You lie down in one of the chairs and motion for Milo to sit beside you. You sigh before leaning back and reaching out to pet him with a yawn.</p><p>You stare at the sky for a while before shaking your head. You close your eyes and try not to worry about anything right now. You focus on Billie and your date tonight and that brings a smile to your face. You hope that Billie will be up to going out, but if not you’re sure you will enjoy your time with her regardless. You are quickly realizing that you’re up for doing just about anything with Billie. She’s so easy to be around and you wonder how you’d gone without having someone who so easily calmed you for so long. You definitely had underestimated the importance of having such a presence in your life.</p><p>You fall asleep thinking about how you’ll need Billie to keep you grounded in the weeks to come. You don’t wake up to her text messages that come after her interview, and you’re still asleep by the time she gets back.</p><p>Billie tries to control her temper. She doesn’t get mad a lot because she doesn’t see the point. There are better things to do than allow someone else to rile you up and manipulate your emotions. For this reason, Billie only frowns before shaking her head in response to Dave’s next question. She is not going to answer what she knows he wants to ask.</p><p>He had mentioned your dad earlier and how he’s read that horrible article about how Billie was helping you get over his death. It had portrayed you in an unflattering way and Billie had hated how she’d been described as the saint who fixed all of your problems. She had a lot of issues with this, but she wasn’t going to get into them now. She wasn’t about to talk about your business with anyone but you when she knew how sensitive this subject was. She tried not to be rude as she speaks up calmly, but in a way that should brook no argument.</p><p>“That’s not what I came here to talk about.”</p><p>Dave doesn’t respond to this immediately instead he watches Billie closely as she holds her ground with a  frown.</p><p>“You don’t deny it? That you’ve seen Y/N’s father?”</p><p>Billie shakes her head as she shifts slightly in her seat before leaning back. She’s trying to shut this down, but she can’t help but feel the tension that has settled in the studio. It would be so much easier to answer him and get on with the interview. However, she knew she couldn’t do that for multiple reasons. It would be betraying your trust and Billie wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did that to you. Let alone on ‘live’ television.</p><p>“I’m not answering that, Dave because it’s not anyone’s business but Y/N’s.”</p><p>Billie nearly sighs in relief as Dave just holds up his hands in surrender, smiling slightly despite how uncomfortable he’s made everything. At least he knows when to admit defeat. He quickly changes the subject and Billie counts down the minutes until she can get out of here.</p><p>When they’re off the air only ten minutes later, Dave is sighing as he removes his microphone while shooting Billie a look. She shoots one right back and is standing up to leave before she even finishes her sentence.</p><p>“Come on, Billie. You couldn’t have just answered the question?”</p><p>Billie scowls at him before rolling her eyes in annoyance. She has had it with him and she wants him to know it. She’s not looking forward to this interview airing, but at least she doesn’t have to worry about it until later. Her main concern was getting out of here before she says something that she would really regret.</p><p>“No because it’s none of your damn business Dave.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t wait for his response before she leaves the way she came in. She stops by her dressing room to grab her things before practically storming out of the building. She pulls out her phone and starts to text you before she just sighs and deletes it. She needs a few minutes to calm down before she checks in with you.</p><p>Billie got in her car and spent the drive home thinking about how she really needed to figure out what to do. She knew that she could keep saying the same thing in the future, refusing to comment, but that would get old fast. Maybe she could keep it up, or maybe it would become old news soon. Billie just hoped that you didn’t want to watch tonight’s interview.</p><p>When Billie makes it home, she can think of nothing she wants to do more than change clothes and lie down until dinner. She doesn’t see you, or Milo for that matter, in the living room, so she assumes that you are asleep upstairs. She goes and checks the guest bedroom, but you’re not there either. Maybe you’re walking Milo.</p><p>Billie decides to text you before she changes clothes and heads down the hall to check on the kittens. A few minutes later Billie is downstairs in the kitchen for a much-needed drink. She pours herself a glass and turns to the backyard only to stop short when she sees Milo lying on the deck beside one of the chairs. She puts down her glass before moving toward the back door, and she smiles when she sees you fast asleep. She noticed your car out front and realizes that Erin must have dropped by already. She moves to sit next to you in the other chair before telling Milo to be quiet.</p><p>He of course greets her with a whine and a couple of licks before doing as he’s told and lying down. Billie sits and just watches you sleep for a couple of minutes. She takes comfort in the sight of you sleeping peacefully and she hates to wake you.</p><p>Fortunately or unfortunately, Billie doesn’t have to make that decision because Milo whines loudly enough that you start to stir. Billie sighs in defeat before she just rolls her eyes when Milo tries to jump up next to her. She watches as you groan under your breath before opening your eyes with a frown.</p><p>You look around with a sigh and you jump in surprise when you see Billie. You smile as you sit up and turn towards her, but you have to wave Milo away when he tries to get under your feet. You stand up and move to sit next to Billie before you realize that something’s off. She’s smiling, but it doesn’t seem sincere and you frown as you reach out for her.</p><p>“Billie, what’s wrong?”</p><p>You feel silly the moment the question leaves your mouth because what could be bothering her other than her interview? You must have lost track of time and slept for far longer than you bargained for. You know that you couldn’t have watched it, but you would have liked to at least to be up when she got back.</p><p>Billie just squeezes your hand with a sigh before she shakes her head. She is about to lie to you, you know it, so you speak up before Billie can.</p><p>“You can tell me the truth. It’s okay. I can take it.”</p><p>Billie hesitates for a moment which really tells you all you need to know. You try not to sigh when she does before shaking her head again. She doesn’t want to talk about this with you because she’s afraid you won’t take it well. However, she doesn’t want to lie to you either, so she settles on telling you just the basics for now. The rest will come later. Once she’s had a little more time to process everything.</p><p>“My interview didn’t go very well.”</p><p>You frown at the expected news before looking to see that Billie was staring off into space. You wonder what they could have said because Billie seems more upset than you would expect.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Billie. Can I help in any way?”</p><p>Billie’s attention turns to you and she smiles before shaking her head. She looks around for a minute before deciding she wanted to go inside and talk about this.</p><p>“No sweetheart, just being back here with you helps.”</p><p>You smile at this and follow Billie inside when she stands up and holds out her hand to you. You motion for Milo to follow you, not that you really need to before you watch Billie head back to the kitchen. You see the abandoned glass of wine and realize that you clearly underestimated the time Billie had. You watch as she takes a sip before you move to grab a drink of your own from the fridge. Billie watches this and she berates herself for not asking you.</p><p>“Is there anything you want to do? To get your mind off of it?”</p><p>You hadn’t expected the answer that Billie gave you, but you were more than happy to do as she asked. You both were now sitting on the couch watching your favorite movie. It’s one you always go to when you need to feel better, and you’re surprised that Billie’s never seen it before. After hearing that you practically demanded you both watch it.</p><p>You shift a little to get more comfortable and you’re leaning on Billie before you realize you should probably ask. You don’t get a chance though before her arms wrap around you tighter and she pulls you so you’re practically on top of her. You smile as you turn your head so your face is buried in Billie’s stomach. You stay like that for a while before turning your attention to the screen. You love this movie, and you’re glad to be relaxing, but simply knowing that Billie’s still tense, feeling that she’s still tense, makes you frown.</p><p>You’re not even half way through the movie, but you can’t get into it being as preoccupied as you are. You turn slightly so you can see Billie, and she’s watching the movie with an amused look. She speaks before you can ask what’s on her mind, and you can’t help but smile a little.</p><p>“This was really your favorite movie as a kid?”</p><p>You smile to yourself at the thought of the first time you’d seen it before nodding in confirmation. You talk about how it was the one movie that never failed to make you feel better. You talk a little bit more about what you liked most before Billie just laughs in amusement. She runs her fingers through your hair with an adoring smile.</p><p>“I can see why you like it so much. I’m honored I get to watch it with you.”</p><p>You roll your eyes before you look back to the screen. You watch for a couple of minutes, and Billie continues to play with your hair before you remember that you were going to ask her what was bothering her. You turn away from the movie, despite it being at your favorite part, and look at Billie with a frown. Her hand is hovering above you now and she moves it away before shooting you a curious look.</p><p>“What is it, Y/N? I see you thinking.”</p><p>You sigh slightly before nodding in confirmation. You couldn’t pretend like you weren’t a little worried about what had happened at the interview. In all the time you’ve known Billie she rarely gets upset. You want to make sure she knows she can talk to you about anything that’s bothering her.</p><p>“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want to talk about what happened.”</p><p>Billie smiles at you and your willingness to help before she tells you the truth. At least most of it. She decides that hiding something from you might be worth it if saves you some pain.</p><p>“It’s alright. He just asked very personal questions that I didn’t want to answer.”</p><p>You groan at this before rolling your eyes at the thought. You weren’t looking forward to watching this interview tonight or tomorrow, but you did want to support Billie in whatever way you could. Still, you nod before sitting up and scooting closer to the medium. You turn your attention back to the movie smiling slightly at the scene before you.</p><p>You don’t last until the end of the movie, but Billie doesn’t bother waking you. She wants you to get your rest before you go out tonight. Billie turns back to the movie that’s ending with a sigh. She knows that she’s going to regret lying to you, but for now she didn’t want to do or tell you anything that would upset you. Not when you already have so much on your mind.                 </p><p>You wake up at the sound of the front door closing, and you roll over with a tired groan. You sit up quickly and look around, only to find that Billie is gone. You don’t get a chance to frown before you see her and Milo walking toward you with a smile. They must have just gotten back from a walk. How long were you asleep? You didn’t get to wonder why you were sleeping so much before Milo was on you. He hadn’t even let Billie take off his leash before he jumped you, and you laugh before catching him. You scratch him all over for a little while before you reach over him to take off his leash. You smile appreciatively as Billie offers to take it from you.</p><p>“Thanks Billie, and thanks for walking him.”</p><p>Billie just smiles before returning to your side and planting a kiss on your forehead.</p><p>“Of course, sweetheart. How did you sleep?”</p><p>Apparently, it was almost dinner time and you sat up a little straighter at this. You hadn’t realized how late it was, but you had been looking forward to going out with Billie. You hurry to stand up and head upstairs to get ready, but Billie stops you. She actually catches you as you sway slightly from the sudden movement, and you shoot her another grateful look before shaking your head. You know what she’s going to say next, but you’re feeling better and you’re not going to let Billie talk you into staying in.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re up for it? We don’t have to go, Y/N.”</p><p>You smile widely before shaking your head again and standing up straight with a sigh. You look briefly to Milo before deciding that he looks good enough to go out.</p><p>“No, I’m good to go. Let me just get changed. I’ll be back!”</p><p>Billie smiles as she watches you run upstairs, not bothering to stop Milo as he follows you. She supposes she should check on the cats before you three leave. First, she needs a cigarette, so she heads to the kitchen. That movie helped relax her while she watched it, but now she was free to think and worry about tonight again. She sighs as she takes a drag before heading to the backyard. She just needs a few minutes to herself. Then she’ll be ready.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hello there! This one was a little more fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it. </p><p>Warnings: annoying people, mention of death at the end, and wound cleaning.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You and Billie end up going to that one restaurant you’d visited when you were hopping around town trying to avoid people. You are glad to be going back because Milo had loved it and you were starving. You are seated quickly and both you and Billie laugh as Milo makes a friend from a nearby table. He plays with the lab while you and Billie get comfortable. You smile when she hands you one of the waters that the waiter brought a few minutes ago.</p><p>“Here, dear. Drink. Let me know if we need to leave, okay?”</p><p>You smile widely at Billie’s thoughtfulness before nodding in agreement. You take a sip of the water before looking around with a sigh of relief. It’s so nice to be out again, and being with Billie and Milo is just icing on the cake. You look back at Billie watching as she eyes you carefully before glancing at the menu. You know what you’re getting, but that doesn’t stop you from looking. Billie doesn’t bother with that yet. She is more concerned about you.</p><p>“Are you excited to go back to work?”</p><p>This question surprises you, and you look up suddenly before shrugging noncommittally. You are excited to go back to work because sitting around all day isn’t for you. Sure, you like being with Billie and Milo, but you became a vet for a reason. Despite loving Milo like he was your child, you really needed to see other animals too. You smile at the thought and nod in confirmation before taking another sip from the glass in front of you.</p><p>“I do! I miss the pets and keeping busy, but I have to admit it has been nice to spend time with you.”</p><p>Billie smiles at this before she glances down at the menu in front of her. She’s never been here before, but when you mentioned that you liked it she figured she’d give it a try. It was a little more out in the open than she liked to be, but so far no one was paying them much attention. She found it hard to pay attention to much of anything else when she was around you. She had really enjoyed these past few days having you and Milo stay with her.</p><p>“I’ve enjoyed it too, Y/N.”</p><p>You smile at this before glancing behind you to check on Milo who is still playing with the other dog. You laugh before shooting Billie a questioning look. You’re only half kidding with what you ask next because part of you is worried that you’ve overstayed your welcome.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re not sick of us yet?”</p><p>Billie smirks at the thought of growing sick of you and Milo. She had to admit that sometimes Milo could be a little high maintenance, but she enjoyed every moment she spent with the two of you. It seemed so easy with you, and although she knows the current situation isn’t exactly realistic, she can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have you around all the time.</p><p>Billie shakes her head about to disagree with you when your waiter comes back with your drinks. You smile excitedly because you haven’t had an actual drink in a while, but you were feeling better today so you decided to go for it. You were also celebrating since it was the end of the week and you had yet to fall down again. You made a note to knock on some wood later before turning to Billie as she orders her dinner. You smile absentmindedly before taking a long sip from your drink. Billie watches with an amused smile as your waiter leaves after taking your orders.</p><p>“Feeling better?”</p><p>Billie’s teasing smile makes you laugh in embarrassment, but you don’t hesitate to nod before you place your already half empty glass on the table. You turn to bring Milo back towards you since he is kind of in the way, and you smile as he moves quickly to sit next to you, his head already in your lap, sniffing for food. You push him away before offering a verbal response.</p><p>“Definitely. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”</p><p>Billie smiles at this before taking a sip of her own drink. She eyes Milo when he comes to stand next to her looking for food. Billie simply pets him before shaking her head. She can’t help but smile when he whines a little before just lying down next to her. You smile at this and you’re too busy looking at Milo to realize that Billie’s shooting you an adoring look.</p><p>“Well, you deserve it after the week you’ve had, Y/N.”</p><p>You nearly laugh at this but you manage to hold yourself back and just smile instead. You can’t think of anything more relaxing than what you’ve done for the last week. You’ve just been sitting around all day doing nothing but spending time with Billie and your dog. You honestly couldn’t think of anything better.</p><p>“The week I’ve had? All I’ve done is sit around and spend time with you and Milo. Not exactly taxing, Billie.”</p><p>You watch as she smiles at you before you realize that this isn’t exactly what Billie meant. You don’t bother to change your answer because you still feel like you’ve had a pretty nice time off.</p><p>Billie shakes her head before clarifying her meaning. “I was mostly referring to Sunday, but I’m glad you haven’t had a miserable time.”</p><p>Billie smiles as you blush slightly before shaking your head at the thought of how much of a ‘miserable time’ you’ve had with Billie. Sure, the first couple of days were a little rough, but your headache hadn’t bothered you in hours and you were glad to be out with Billie again. Not that you didn’t enjoy your time alone with the medium, it was just nice to feel normal again. Not sickly and stuck indoors.</p><p>“Not at all. I’ve had a lot of fun.”</p><p>Billie smirks at the way you say this and she raises an eyebrow as she watches you get lost in thought. She can imagine what you’re thinking of because her mind quickly goes to certain moments alone with you. Billie doesn’t get to dwell on them long before you’re speaking again. She looks up just in time to see you smile cheekily, and she has to resist the urge to throw something at you. The chips in the middle of the table look like a good option.</p><p>“With the kittens of course. They’re my favorite part.”</p><p>You have to stop yourself from laughing when you see how Billie’s expression changes to one you recognize immediately. You looked away because now wasn’t the best time to humor those thoughts. Instead, you finish up your drink before you smile apologetically at your girlfriend before reaching out for her. She moves her hand away last minute and you pout before trying again.</p><p>“Aw Billie, I was kidding. You know you’re my favorite.”</p><p>You smile victoriously when Billie accepts your apology and takes your hand with a sigh. She runs her nails over the back of your hand before you turn it so your palm is facing up. You shiver slightly and have to stifle a laugh as Billie tickles your palm. She smiles at your adorably ticklish nature before releasing your hand to reach for her drink.</p><p>“I have to bring them back to you soon, don’t I?”</p><p>You are too busy feeding Milo a treat that you’d brought with you to follow Billie’s question. You look back to her with a frown before what she said registered and you nod enthusiastically. The kittens are finally old enough to get their first round of vaccines this week. You have no idea what your schedule looks like, but you will make sure to find time for them when you can.</p><p>You and Billie talk a little about her cats before your food arrives. You can’t help how excited you look, and Billie doesn’t even try to hold back a laugh at your childlike glee. She knows how you feel about food, but she supposes that it’s food and just the fact that you’re out again that’s making you so happy. She doesn’t let herself feel bad for keeping you at home for so long, but she is glad to see you like this again.</p><p>“You’re adorable, Y/N.”</p><p>You smile at Billie about to say something sarcastic when something over her shoulder catches your eye. Your smile disappears and you drop the chip in your hand as you groan under your breath. Billie frowns about to turn around to see what you’ve spotted, but she doesn’t get the chance. You sigh in defeat, moving Milo so he’s under the table before putting on the fakest smile you can muster. Maybe she’ll get the hint.</p><p>“Claire. How are you?”</p><p>It took Billie a moment to recognize the name. She turned to see the brunette standing behind her and her frown immediately deepened. It didn’t take Billie long to realize that she wasn’t going to like this interaction at all. If not for the reasons you’d given her in the past, then just the way that Claire was looking at you now was enough for Billie to decide that she didn’t like her.</p><p>Since she heard about your hospital visit, Claire had been trying to track you down. She’d called into your work only to be told that you weren’t going to be in for the next week or so. She knew where you lived from the various stories about you in the news, but she didn’t know which apartment. She’d harassed the front office enough that she was banned and despite hanging around for almost a full day she never saw you.</p><p>She had almost given up trying to find you when she realized that you probably weren’t even home.</p><p>You were with Billie.</p><p>Claire hadn’t wanted to run into the medium, or really see her at all, so she waited. She waited for almost a week before she followed you here. It had taken a while to gather the courage to confront you, but now as she stood beside you, she was glad that she hadn’t just gone home.</p><p>“It’s nice to see you alive and well, Doc.”</p><p>You stiffen as you watch Claire move closer to you and rest her hand on the table just inches from yours. You don’t fail to notice how she completely ignores Billie, and you turn to your ticked girlfriend before looking back to Claire. You’re not in the mood for whatever this is, and you are going to make sure that Claire knows that. You don’t appreciate that she’s ruined a perfectly good outing by showing up and you try your best not to snap at her as you respond.</p><p>“It certainly is. Have you met Billie Dean? Billie this is Claire, she works at the pet store I go to.”</p><p>You sincerely hope that Claire could take the hint and leave you in peace. However, as you watch the brunette barely turn toward Billie who somehow looks even less impressed, you feel any hope you had slip away. Claire instead turns more so she’s facing you after throwing a perfunctory look over her shoulder.</p><p> “Yeah, hi. I just wanted to check on you. I heard about what happened.”</p><p>You sigh in annoyance before responding quickly. You don’t say that you’re fine because you’re not. You’re a little miffed and you want this to end now.</p><p>“It was just a little concussion, I’m all better now.”</p><p>You ignore Claire as she starts speaking again. You vaguely realize that she’s going on about how concerned she was and how glad she is, but all you can focus on is Billie. She’s shooting you an incredulous look that you assume is a result of your description of your injury. You just shrugged before shooting her a smile that she rolls her eyes at. You see her look down briefly before reaching for what you assume is Milo under the table. You’re glad that he’s stayed put and you sigh before meeting her gaze again. You’re about to say something to cut Claire off when you feel a hand on yours. You know it’s not Billie’s because you’re looking right at the blonde and she’s petting Milo and sipping her wine. Her gaze moves down to where Claire’s hand covers yours, and that finally makes you realize that you haven’t responded.</p><p>“Well, I’m glad that you’re feeling better.”</p><p>You barely hear the end of what Claire says before you move to stand up. You mostly wanted to move your hand, but  for some reason you stood and now you had to do something. You smile before moving around the table, not looking away from Billie who is frowning slightly in confusion. You just smile wider before you reach Billie’s side and sit down next to her. Now Billie is between you and Claire, and you feel like you can breathe again.</p><p>“Yeah, I have Billie to thank for that. She took good care of me.”</p><p>You get settled in your chair before leaning in close to Billie. Despite the fact that it brings you closer to Claire, you don’t really think she’ll reach over Billie to get to you, you are immediately comforted by the close contact. Claire’s bold, but not that bold. She seems to pause for a second before she does something that really shouldn’t surprise you. She sits down in your abandoned seat before reaching for your drink. Your mouth falls open and you’re glad that you finished it because Claire just frowns before putting it down.</p><p>Your patience is gone at this point and you sigh before squeezing Billie’s arm so she doesn’t snap. You felt her tense and you didn’t want her to be the one to tell Claire off. It should be you.</p><p>“Did you need something, Claire?”</p><p>You sound as ticked as you are, and you’d feel bad about it if this was anyone else. However, it’s not and this was probably the 12<sup>th</sup> time you’ve had to keep yourself from commenting on something rude that Claire has done. For this reason, you don’t feel much sympathy as the brunette in front of you frowns before looking to your food. You don’t have time to speak up again before Claire is smiling and shrugging casually.</p><p>“Yeah, Doc. I was going to ask if you wanted to go out sometime. You know on a real date?”</p><p>You can’t help but smile at her question and even as you feel Billie sit up next to you, you let out a laugh. You know that your reaction is weird. You should be pissed by what Claire is insinuating, like Billie, but you just find it hilarious. Your laugh seems to stop her and she frowns in confusion as she looks to you before you manage to sit up with a sigh. You see the smug look on Claire’s face, probably due to the fact that she got a reaction from Billie, but that didn’t really matter. You weren’t going to let her have the satisfaction for long.</p><p>“Thanks, but I’m more than happy here with Billie.”</p><p>You squeeze Billie’s hand under the table as you say this, but you don’t feel her relax which you don’t like. Your attention turns to Claire though once you hear her sigh heavily before leaning back in her—your chair. She crosses her arms over her chest before finally looking to Billie. There are a lot of things that she’d like to say, to accuse the medium of but she doesn’t. She isn’t sure what you see in her. She’s a hack who thinks too highly of herself, and you deserve better than that.</p><p>“Are you sure? I can show you a better time. Like you deserve.”</p><p>You scowl and open your mouth to say something a little meaner, but Billie beats you to it. She clenches her fist and glares at the brunette across from her. She doesn’t know much about her, but Billie can’t help but wonder where all of this cockiness comes from. Clearly, she can’t take no for an answer.</p><p>“What Y/N deserves is to be respected. Which means when she says back off, you back the fuck off.”</p><p>You hold your breath as you watch Claire tense at this and glare at Billie in return. You sigh in defeat, but you nod in agreement with what Billie’s said before saying the last thing you’re willing to about this.</p><p>“She’s right Claire. You don’t respect me enough to take no for an answer, so even if Billie wasn’t in the picture, you wouldn’t be either.”</p><p>Despite the mood changing drastically from Claire’s unwelcome visit, you and Billie stay for an hour or so longer. You don’t move back to your seat. Instead, you move your food to your side and get yourself a new drink that you finish way too quickly. You sigh before turning to Billie with an apologetic look.</p><p>She hasn’t said much since Claire left. You did most of the talking which you couldn’t help but worry about. You know that Billie’s upset and you can’t really blame her, but you’re still nervous. Billie was already stressed out by the interview airing tonight, now this? You frown as you reach out for Billie’s hand that’s resting on your thigh.</p><p>“I’m sorry she showed up, Billie. I never would have thought--.”</p><p>Billie shakes her head, cutting you off before she sighs in defeat. She has to admit that she was still a little annoyed by the rude interruption to their dinner. She wouldn’t have thought that you had to deal with things like this happening. She didn’t think that Claire was so bold. Then again, you had said that she’s done something similar at work and whenever you went to the pet store.</p><p>Finally, Billie finds her words and she tries to smile before squeezing your hand.</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize for her behavior. I didn’t realize how persistent she was.”</p><p>You smile wryly at this before nodding in agreement. You mention how often Claire has bothered you and Billie feels her anger return full force. Why couldn’t people take a hint?</p><p>“She’s still young. Hopefully she’ll get a clue.”</p><p>You don’t notice how Billie’s mood has soured until she scoffs a few seconds later. She doesn’t want to imagine what it will take for Claire to get a clue. She drains the rest of her drink with a scowl at the thought. You stop with your fork halfway to your mouth when Billie empties her glass and your eyes widen a little before you put it down. You turn to Billie, not quite sure what to say, but you just go for it hoping you don’t make it worse.</p><p>“It’s okay, Billie. I think you scared her off.”</p><p>Billie Dean shakes her head before speaking up in a tone that immediately had your attention. You frown despite what Billie says to you.</p><p>“No, it’s not okay, Y/N. People shouldn’t treat you like that. Not her and not-.”</p><p>Billie trails off, mentally cursing herself for letting that last part slip. She hadn’t planned on mentioning Doug because you’d already made up your mind. She didn’t want to argue about it despite not really liking your decision. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like you’re going to let this go, and you shoot Billie a questioning look.</p><p>“What? What were you going to say?”</p><p>Billie doesn’t answer immediately and instead reaches for Milo’s treats. She feeds him one and watches as he catches it midair. Billie smiles slightly before turning back to see you frowning.</p><p>“Not Claire, or assholes like Doug get to treat you like that. You deserve much better, Y/N. I mean that.”</p><p>You smile appreciatively before kissing her in thanks. You pull away sooner than you want, but you’re in public and you are still a little on edge from Claire popping up. So you just smile before moving a stray hair behind her ear with a sigh.</p><p>“You know, thanks to you, I’m starting to believe it.”</p><p>This time Billie kisses you and you laugh when Milo tries to get in on the action. He wasn’t finished begging for treats and he has his front paws up on the table before you realize what he’s doing. You push him down before shooting him a glare while Billie simply laughs. You roll your eyes but accept another kiss from Billie with a smile.</p><p>You eventually pull away before looking around you briefly. You saw Claire leave so you’re not worried about her, but you still feel eyes on you somewhere. Instead of focusing on this you decide to turn back to your girlfriend with a cheeky smile.</p><p>“Still, if we run into her again, I want you to punch that bitch in the face, Billie Dean.”</p><p>Milo leads you through the neighborhood excitedly on his last walk of the night. It’s almost 11 and you and Billie got back from the restaurant a while ago. You had been glad when Billie seemed to leave her worry behind and return to her normally calm self by the time you arrived home. You left her to go check on the cats and you and Milo were wandering around aimlessly as you thought about what the rest of your time here would look like.</p><p>You plan to leave Sunday because you really should get back to your place. You need to get ready to work Monday and that includes making sure that you have food to eat. You are going through a list of things that you need to do when something surprises you and Milo. You jump and then curse as Milo pulls free and runs after whatever just jumped out of the bushes.</p><p>“Milo, no! Wait!”</p><p>You aren’t completely surprised when he doesn’t listen to you and you groan in annoyance before taking off after him.</p><p>Billie is downstairs waiting for you to come back when 11 o’clock rolls around. She sighs before looking to the television with a frown. She’s not going to watch the interview, and she hopes that you don’t want to either. Billie reaches out for Bit when she hears the front door open. She lets Bit rub up against her hand, but she soon flees when Milo comes running into the living room. He’s a mess and Billie’s surprised by the sight of him covered in dirt and leaves.</p><p>“Milo, what did you do?”</p><p>Billie looks up when she hears you groan loudly before you appear around the corner. It takes you a minute to get your shoes off and you finally sigh in relief before heading to where Billie is waiting. She stands immediately when she sees you and you wince in anticipation as she gasps in surprise.</p><p>“Y/N! What happened?”</p><p>You, like your dog, are covered in dirt and small cuts from where you’d fallen a couple of times before diving to catch your dog. You stiffen, but don’t protest as Billie’s hands go to your shoulders, and she leads you to the couch. She takes a good look at you and sighs when she notices that you’ve scraped your palms and some of your knuckles pretty badly.  She looks to you again for an explanation, and you sigh in defeat before mentioning how Milo had gotten away from you.</p><p>“Milo decided to chase a stray cat through some bushes and out of the neighborhood.”</p><p>Billie’s eyes widen before she turns back to Milo who is lying at your feet. He is licking his paws but seems fine while you look a little worse for wear. You sigh as you sit up slightly before realizing that you hurt your knee falling too. You hiss in pain and Billie immediately looks over you again before she sees your stained pants.</p><p>“Did you hurt your knee?”</p><p>Billie is really just asking for clarification because you’d already said that you’d fallen. Still, you nod before muttering something under your breath that Billie doesn’t hear. You shoot Milo a look before sighing in realization. You probably need to get cleaned up. You don’t get to say this; however, because Billie beats you to it as she glances upstairs.</p><p>“Let’s get you cleaned up, sweetheart.”</p><p>You hiss under your breath as you hold your hand out to Billie. You’re sitting on her bed still in your dirty clothes as the medium gets her supplies together. You watch as she grabs the hydrogen peroxide and you cringe in anticipation waiting as she grabs some gauze.</p><p>“This might sting a little.”</p><p>You just nod before holding your hand out to Billie and she takes it in hers before carefully cleaning your knuckles. You hold your breath and don’t let yourself curse at the pain. You jump slightly though and Billie just shoots you a sympathetic look before kissing your forehead.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ll be more careful.”</p><p>You shake your head and manage a smile before releasing the breath you’d been holding. Billie had been careful and you were just a wimp when it came to injuries. You say something to this effect and Billie rolls her eyes at you as she finishes putting on your band aids. You sigh in relief before thanking Billie for the help. You take a look at your hands before realizing what comes next.</p><p>“I guess I need to get undressed, huh?”</p><p>Billie just smiles before looking at the clock. It’s nearly midnight, and Billie is a little worn out from her busy day. She wants to make sure you’re taken care of first, so she just nods before turning to leave.</p><p>“That’s probably best. I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”</p><p>You just nod because you’re finally starting to feel your exhaustion set in. The adrenaline of chasing after Milo and getting to him before he ran into traffic had worn off and now you were just tired. You stifled a yawn as you stood up started to take off your pants. You stumble slightly and groan in annoyance before you manage to get them off. Your breath hitches as you bend your knee and pain shoots up your leg. You curse Milo again before finding a pair of shorts to wear.</p><p>You’re dressed and sitting back on the bed when Billie comes back a couple of minutes later. You have your leg stretched out and you’re examining the growing bruise on your knee. Billie’s eyes widen and she hurries over to take a better look. She moves to sit next to you before resting her hand on your calf.</p><p>“Oh, Y/N. That looks like it hurts.”</p><p>You can’t deny it but you try to as you just shrug and mention that you’ve had worse. Which isn’t a lie, but that doesn’t make your knee throb any less. You think about what you could do to treat it before remembering how much you drank earlier tonight. So instead of medicine you settle on ice, and Billie is right there with you. She leaves you to clean the minor cuts as she hurries downstairs to get some ice.</p><p>You shift on the bed before trying to clean your knee, but you immediately realize that it hurts more than you thought it would. You just clench your teeth and bear it, and by the time Billie’s back you have it cleaned and covered. You smile at her before taking the offered icepack that Billie brought. At least you try to, but Billie shakes her head before motioning for you to sit back. You do as she says and lie back against a pillow so you’re more comfortable. Billie holds the icepack over your knee with a questioning look, and you just nod before tensing slightly. Your breath hitches at the cold, but you say nothing as Billie holds it to your knee with a sigh.</p><p>“Is there anything else I can do for you, sweetheart?”</p><p>You smile before shaking your head. You’ll be fine, you just need to rest and not run around anymore. You turn at the sound of Milo running down the hall you wait until he pushes open the door before sighing again. You look him over and don’t see that he’s hurt himself, but you didn’t really expect anything else. He just ran a lot and then came to a very sudden stop when you managed to step on his leash.</p><p>“Milo, you little shit.”</p><p>Milo just wags his tail as he comes over to lick your hand. You scratch him briefly before looking to Billie with a sigh. You know it’s late and you’re tired, so you imagine that Billie is too.</p><p>“You didn’t hit your head, did you?”</p><p>Billie speaks up before you can, but you just shake your head. You had made sure that you didn’t and at the expense of tearing up your hands you’re glad that you hadn’t. You shake your head, not really sure if your headache is from the fall or the alcohol before patting the bed next to you.</p><p>“Want to join me?”</p><p>Almost half an hour later, you are surprisingly still awake. Billie fell asleep a while ago, but she hadn’t even made it under the covers. She slept with her head in your lap and you gently ran your fingers through her hair as your mind wandered to next Saturday.</p><p>The 10<sup>th</sup>.</p><p>You never really cared much about your birthday before. Sure, you liked cake and you didn’t complain about presents, but it wasn’t something you made a big deal about.</p><p>This year you were determined to do the same. It was honestly going to feel weird and different no matter what you did. It was the first birthday you wouldn’t be celebrating with family. The first one without your dad.</p><p>You quickly think of something else before that train of thought gets you in trouble. You sigh as you glance at your phone. It’s 12:30. You really should sleep. You stifle a yawn as you put your phone back and try to get comfortable without disturbing Billie. You’re almost asleep when you realize that you didn’t watch Billie’s interview.</p><p>You decide it’s probably for the best given how upset Billie was afterwards. Instead, you just lie down and pull Billie closer to you. The next interview has to go better for her, right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: HELLO THERE. Hope everyone's had a nice weekend. <br/>Warnings: angst and mention of dead animals</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of your time at Billie’s had been more enjoyable than you could have hoped for. The two of you spent a lot of time together, with Milo too of course, and you even risked going out again. Luckily you had been able to enjoy your time together without incident and you were reluctant to go home the next morning. You would have loved to stay with Billie for longer, but it was time to go back to work.</p><p>You and Milo had finally returned home on Sunday, and you’d immediately realized how much you had to do before work on Monday. You’d gone shopping, did laundry, cleaned a lot of your apartment before collapsing at 10. You wake up Monday morning torn between excitement and dread about going back to work. You are excited to be busy again, and to see all of your patients, but you aren’t excited about potentially facing the media and tiring yourself out.</p><p>You didn’t bother texting anyone to see if the reporters are there because you doubted anyone would be at work yet. You lock your door behind you before leading Milo down the hallway. You stifle a yawn before leaning against the wall while you wait for the elevator to reach your floor. You consider texting Billie but it was really early, so you decide to at least wait until you got to work.</p><p>You are leaving a little early because you want to have time to catch up on what you missed, so you and Milo arrive a whole hour before opening. Most of the assistants aren’t even here yet, but you hadn’t run into any reporters so you’re happy. Since you are here so early, you take Milo upstairs with you and after putting his bed back under your desk you both settle in.</p><p>When lunch time rolls around, you are grateful of the fact that Dr. Stewart put breaks into your schedule this week. You’re feeling okay, but your headache is starting to come back. You’re stressing about how much you have to catch up on when your phone goes off. You sigh before realizing that it’s Billie, and you smile widely as you read her message.</p><p>You know she has a busy week, but that doesn’t start until tomorrow, so you are going to take advantage of any free time Billie has. It doesn’t even seem odd to be so excited to talk to the blonde again. It’s barely been 24 hours since you’ve seen her, but you’re quickly responding to her message. You’re not really free, but you figure a few minutes on the phone won’t hurt.</p><p>You glance to the schedule before you skip ahead a week to double check the time that you had scheduled all seven of the cats to come in. Before leaving Billie’s yesterday, Bit had escaped outside and neither you nor Billie had been in the mood to run after her. Milo had of course, but luckily he had already been attached to his leash so he didn’t get far. You had joked that whenever she came back, Billie would have to bring her in to get spayed. She could get into a lot of trouble relatively quickly.</p><p>You had been kidding of course, but then you’d actually talked about it for a while before Billie decided that she wanted it done ASAP. So now you had Bit’s surgery in the morning, and Billie’s appointment with the other cats late enough in the afternoon that she could just take them all home at once.</p><p>
  <em>Guess who made it home? </em>
</p><p>Billie had attached a picture of Bit sitting in the living room grooming herself and you laugh. You ask Billie if she wants to keep her appointment before turning your attention to lunch. You leave your office and walk down the hall to the kitchen so you can grab your lunch. You’re glad that you went shopping yesterday because you really don’t want to chance an encounter with reporters this week. You sneak a peek at the boarding cats before heading back to your office with a sigh. You sit back down before turning your attention to your computer when it chimes at you. You answer some emails before you finally get to you lunch, and at that point you remember to check your phone.</p><p>
  <em>Yes, please. </em>
</p><p>You smile before asking how her day has gone so far before returning to work. You’re typing up a medical record while eating your sandwich when your phone lights up again. You’d turned off the sound because it had been aggravating your headache. That said, you don’t realize that you have a new message until you have two and you curse under your breath as you grab your phone.</p><p>
  <em>How has your day been, sweetheart? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re on lunch now right? </em>
</p><p>You respond by telling Billie how your day has been and that you honestly are ready to go home. You talk for a while before you have to get back to work, but you ask Billie when she’ll be free. You are already dreading the idea of having to go back to your apartment alone tonight, but you suppose that’s what you get for spending so much time at Billie’s.</p><p>Billie spent most of the morning figuring out her week. She talked to Michelle for a while about the many things she had planned and how she was going to be kept busy up until her show aired. Billie was conflicted because she was glad to work, but she was also exhausted. She wanted a break, and she certainly didn’t want to deal with more assholes like she had on Friday. She and Michelle had talked about this a lot and the solution you’d both come up with was deceptively simple.</p><p>Just stick to the same story every time, and don’t crack under pressure. Billie still hadn’t told you about what Dave had asked, and she wasn’t sure if you’d bothered to look it up. This meant that she hadn’t been able to ask you about what she could say on TV. You had agreed to her telling the basics about you, your job, recent move, and all of that, but nothing about your personal life.</p><p>You certainly hadn’t mentioned your dad which is why Billie was trying not to either. That said, it was only working so well when people zeroed in on that one article or anything else they could use to bring him up. She knew you hadn’t gotten over his death yet, for several reasons, but she didn’t want to be the one to bring it up again. Billie knew that you had to come to terms with it on your own time, but it just made things difficult for her. Well, she was the one making things difficult for herself by refusing to talk to you about it. She didn’t want to risk you asking about the interview, so Billie was sticking to her ‘nothing more than the basics’ for now and hoping that it didn’t backfire again.</p><p>After Bit had returned from her sudden, albeit brief escape, Billie had tried to look her over. She wanted to make sure she hadn’t gotten hurt or too dirty while out there, but she’d had limited success. She only got as far as scratching her head and reaching for her stomach before Bit hissed and fled upstairs. Billie didn’t bother trying to stop her, she seemed fine enough, and Billie spent the rest of the morning alone.</p><p>It was odd having the house so empty. After you and Milo had stayed for a nearly a week, it was difficult to get used to the silence. Neither of you had made much noise honestly, but even just the sound of you shifting on the couch, or Milo’s collar clinking made Billie smile. She’d grown to like having the two of you here, but still she’d let you leave.</p><p>It was too early in your relationship to think about that, so Billie just pushes the thought to the back of her mind. Maybe in a few months you two can talk about the idea of moving in together.</p><p>You and Billie text for a little while longer before you have to go back to work. You’re glad that your afternoon is full of wellness visits, and as you get ready for your first appointment, you wonder if that was intentional. You don’t think about it long before you are meeting your assistant for the afternoon to get a history for the next patient.</p><p>You’re seeing an older dog, Rudy, who is relatively new to your practice. He’s a very sweet dog, but his owners are a little odd. Maybe you’re just too introverted for them, but you think that even an extrovert would find their questions a little invasive.</p><p>Luckily, it’s a quick visit and they don’t even mention your relationship which is a relief. The focus is on Rudy, as it should be, and you are grateful that no one seems to really care about you today. In between appointments you’re drinking water and working on medical records. You occasionally check your phone to see if Billie’s texted, but you have no new messages. You frown slightly before forcing yourself to get back to work.</p><p>The end of the day sneaks up on you, and you have maybe half a dozen records to finish when Dr. Hahn tells you she’s leaving. You curse under your breath after she leaves as you look at the clock. You need to feed Milo, but you still have maybe an hour of work to do. You sigh before jumping up and taking the stairs two at a time. You smile at Mina before running into the kennel to  get your dog.</p><p>“Hi Milo. Do you want dinner?”</p><p>Milo of course just barks and spins around until you let him out. You smile before scratching his head and waving him along. You feed him before letting him out in the yard for a while. You didn’t give him as much time outside today as you usually would and you feel a little bad about it. For this reason, you end up sitting with him for nearly 15 minutes before you remember you have work to do still.</p><p>You lead Milo back inside and up the stairs to your office. You don’t like leaving him in the kennel after hours, and since he’s good and just sits at your feet you let him stay with you. You’re yawning by the time you’ve finished the first couple of records, and you are tempted to leave when your phone goes off. You sigh and force yourself to finish the section you’re typing up before looking to see what Billie says.</p><p>No one else has texted you today, so you assume it’s her.</p><p>You’re right and you smile when you realize that Billie is checking in on you. It’s almost 8 and you groan when you realize how late you’ll be here tonight.</p><p>
  <em>Are you still at work?</em>
</p><p>You respond saying that you are and will be for a little while before putting your phone back down. You glance down at Milo, confirming that he’s asleep and snoring before you start typing again. Billie is in the middle of trying to wrangle the kittens when your reply comes in. Since you and Milo left, she realized that it was safe for the kittens to roam around supervised. She was downstairs with all of them now, and definitely regretting her decision to do this.</p><p>As Billie holds Mickey in her sweatshirt pocket, he was almost getting too big for it, she hurries to pick up two other kittens that were at her feet. She was attempting to get them all back to the laundry room after being out for a while, and it was proving more difficult than she imagined. She sighs in defeat as she watches the other three attempt to jump on the furniture, or bother Bit. She was going to need a drink after this.</p><p>She had underestimated how tiring it would be to spend time with them like this. One hour had quickly turned into two. It was adorable watching them all wobble around, and clumsily chase clumps of Milo’s hair that they found on the ground. They were all getting so big that Billie wasn’t sure how she’d manage to get all of them to the vet next week.</p><p>Her main concern right now though was getting them all back into their room. She knew she had to spend more time letting them out like this, but she was going to be busy for the next few days. She had a couple of meetings with her producers and Michelle in addition to another couple of interviews. Billie opens the laundry room and sets the three kittens on the ground before going back to get the remaining three.</p><p>She tries to chase one down, and he or she, she’s not sure, runs into the kitchen and Billie sighs in defeat. She follows the little one to the back door and watches as she jumps up and puts her paws on the glass.</p><p>“Come on little one.”</p><p>Billie reaches down and grabs the kitten, smiling slightly as it purrs so loudly that Billie feels the vibrations. She turns to go track down the other two when her phone goes off again. She smiles until she realizes that it isn’t you, and she leaves it be for now before going off in search of the last two stragglers.</p><p>You finally finish working around 9, and you’re exhausted by the time you finish locking up. You take Milo’s leash in one hand and grab your things with the other before heading to the parking lot. You don’t even spare the rest of the lot a glance, not caring if they’re there before you throw your things in your car. You get Milo situated in the back and pretty soon you’re on your way home.</p><p>You stifle a yawn as you turn onto the road with an exhausted sigh. You’re not looking forward to going home despite feeling like you’re going to fall asleep the second your head hits your pillow. You get home in record time too since there isn’t much traffic and you sigh as you pull into the closest parking spot you can find. You sit in the car with the engine off just staring off into space before you’re interrupted.</p><p>“Shit, Milo stop.”</p><p>You push Milo away as he sits up and licks your face to get your attention. He just whines when you tell him to sit, and you only get another few seconds reprieve before he’s pawing at you. You groan in defeat before getting unbuckled and opening your door. Milo isn’t going to let you delay this any longer, so you don’t bother even trying. You get him hooked up to his leash before grabbing your things and leading him inside. You make it to your apartment quickly and you close the door behind you before watching Milo run to the couch. You look around with a frown before heading toward the kitchen. You drop your things before opening the fridge for a drink. It’s late and you should just go to sleep, but you don’t want to.</p><p>Instead, you sit next to Milo on the couch with your phone and a glass of wine. You sigh as you look to your phone with a yawn. It’s late, but you are sure that Billie is still up. You want to at least say goodnight, or let her know that you’re home. She had asked you to check in after all.</p><p>You didn’t expect her to pick up on the second ring.</p><p>“Hi, Y/N. Are you finally home?”</p><p>You smile before nodding to yourself with an exhausted sigh. You tell Billie how you just got back and that you are tired enough to crash. You hear her laugh at this and you can’t help but wonder what she’s doing right now. You turn to Milo before patting your lap, and you smile as he hurries to lie down on you.</p><p>“What are you up to, Billie?”</p><p>Billie smiles as she turns to Mickey who is bouncing around on the floor at the end of the bed. She’s watching him from where she’s leaning against the headboard with a glass of wine in one hand. She mentions what she’s been up to for the past 15 minutes and you laugh when she mentions her kitten adventures from earlier today.</p><p>“Really? All 6 of them? How did that go?”</p><p>You laugh as Billie groans under her breath. She was glad that she’d been able to give the kittens some much needed play time, but she was exhausted. She was close to crashing despite not having worked much today, but she’d wanted to wait at least until she heard from you.</p><p>“It was hectic for sure, but they were so cute. I wish you could have seen them.”</p><p>Both of you smile at the thought before you’re nodding in agreement. You scratch Milo behind his ears, your smile widening at how cute he looks as he just stares at you.</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>The two of you sit in silence for a little while just lost in thought before Billie finally speaks up. You’re looking at your empty glass on the table in front of you while Billie’s picking up Mickey to take him back to his siblings and Bit.</p><p>“I miss having you here, sweetheart.”</p><p>You smile at Billie’s words blushing slightly as you lean against the couch with a sigh. “You do?”</p><p>Billie just nods before she returns to bed and sits down with a frown. She looks to the empty side for a moment and wonders how a few nights of sleeping in the same bed with you did this to her.</p><p>“I do. I wish you were here with me.”</p><p>You picture Billie lying in bed as she says this, and you can’t help but want to be there with her. You just know that when you go up to bed you will miss being near Billie. You’ll miss her presence, her warmth, and you will especially miss the feeling you get when she holds you close. You don’t realize that you haven’t responded until Milo snaps you out of your reverie with a loud yawn.</p><p>You smile and Billie chuckles before you manage to find your voice again. You try not to sound too much like you’re pouting when you speak up.</p><p>“Me too. We need to have another sleepover, Billie Dean.”</p><p>Billie laughs before agreeing with a wide smile. The two of you talk for almost an hour before you aren’t able to stop yawning. You don’t want to, but you end up hanging up and heading to bed. You tell yourself that you can wait until Friday rolls around to see Billie again, but you’re not entirely sure. It’s going to be a rough week not only because you’re easing back into things, but because of your impending birthday. It will definitely be on your mind, and not in a good way.</p><p>You try not to worry about that now as you get ready for bed. You go through your normal routine and half an hour later you crawl into bed. You watch as Milo does the same at the other side of the room, and you just sigh before turning off the light. You close your eyes and groan in defeat as you roll over and hide your face in your pillow. You turn again until you’re staring at the ceiling, and your mind begins to wander to a certain medium.</p><p>You close your eyes again and the first thing that comes to mind is Billie Dean’s charming smile. You imagine her smiling at you, and you can practically smell her perfume as you picture being pulled in for a hug. You smile at the thought of her laughing at one of your dumb jokes, and you are eventually able to fall asleep at the memory of Billie lying beside you.</p><p>Billie on the other hand was not asleep yet. She was tired enough for sure, but she couldn’t relax enough to lie down. She was on her second cigarette when she decides to look at her phone for a while. Mindlessly scrolling sometimes helped her sleep, but tonight it was stressing her out. It just made her think about everything that she had to do tomorrow, so she put it down quickly before heading downstairs.</p><p>She gets another stronger drink before heading back upstairs. She doesn’t make it back to her room because Bit is yowling and needs to be let out before she wakes the neighborhood. Billie sighs watching as Bit runs down the hall and down to the first floor before she sticks her head in the laundry room. Most of the kittens are sleeping, but of course there was one straggler.</p><p>“Mickey.”</p><p>The kitten turns, either at his name or Billie’s voice, and hurries over to her. She smiles as he comes to a clumsy stop at her feet and she laughs before picking him up. She holds him close and lets him play with her hair, but when he reaches out for her drink, she shakes her head.</p><p>“Not for you, little one. It’s time for bed.”</p><p>After she gets Mickey settled, Billie heads back to bed. She’s already finished her drink watching Mickey, so she leaves the empty glass on her bedside table before heading to the bathroom. She needs to get to sleep soon. She’s already going to have one hell of a week. The last thing she needs is to be sleep-deprived.</p><p>Billie isn’t convinced that this won’t be the case whether she sleeps or not. Last night she’d had difficulty sleeping, and she doesn’t want to think about why. Instead, Billie sits in bed and finishes off her cigarette, dragging it out for nearly a half hour before she falls into a fitful sleep.</p><p>You’re so deep in sleep that you don’t hear the series of knocks at your door the next morning. It’s almost half an hour before you alarm is supposed to go off, and you do not want to get up yet. Milo; however, hears them and he sits up before looking at your door. He starts growling as the knocks continue before he stands up and heads out of your room and downstairs.</p><p>He yawns on his way to investigate when the knocking stops. There is nothing out of the ordinary, and Milo hurries to the front door to sniff around. He smells something on the other side of the door and he starts pawing at it insistently. He whines as he tries to stick his face under the door, but not even his nose will fit. He lies down on his side and sees that there is something in front of the door. He tries to reach under the door but his paw is too big and he just whines again before scratching at the bottom of the door for a minute.</p><p>Eventually he gives up and just stares at it from the floor. About twenty minutes later he hears something shift from behind the door and he sits up suddenly. His ears twitch and he starts to sniff again before he hears the sound again.</p><p>He barks a couple of times before he runs back upstairs to your room. He barks again, startling you from your sleep, before jumping on you with a series of loud whines. You groan in annoyance as you roll over and try to push him off of you.</p><p>“Milo go away! It’s only 6!”</p><p>You honestly consider giving Milo to the next person you see when he pulls the covers off your bed and leaves you cold and very much awake.</p><p>“Milo!”</p><p>You sit up and glare at your dog who just drops and steps on all of your sheets before coming back to jump on you again. He whines as he tries to grab onto you, but you’re not really wearing many clothes, so he gets skin and you curse under your breath. Clearly he wants your attention.</p><p>“Alright, Milo. Stop! What is it? What do you want?”</p><p>Milo jumps off the bed and runs to the door before looking back at you. He barks and you groan loudly before following him down the hallway.</p><p>This better be good.</p><p>You follow Milo downstairs to the front door thinking that he just wants a walk. He jumps up on the door and claws at it and you quickly push him down with a scowl.</p><p>“Milo, no! Go get your leash.”</p><p>You are surprised when he doesn’t listen and instead just whines and tries to open the door again. You sigh before moving him out of the way before you unlock the door. You are about to step out into the hallway and see what has him so riled up, but you don’t make it that far. You nearly run into a box that was placed right in front of your door. You frown as you look down at the sketchy cardboard box in front of you.</p><p>You’re reluctant to open it, but Milo doesn’t give you much of a choice as he comes up behind you and practically shoves his face into it. You move him away before you peek in and you nearly curse as you realize what is in it.</p><p>“What the…?”</p><p>Billie Dean is already at the studio getting ready for her next interview when her phone rings. She had only gotten 5 hours of sleep, and she’d had to ask Michelle about a half dozen times who she was being interviewed by. Billie was on her third cup of coffee and she nearly spills it on herself when she jumps in surprise as her phone vibrates.</p><p>She curses under her breath as coffee spills on the floor, and she’s more than a little annoyed when she grabs her phone. When she sees it’s you; however, her frown turns to a smile and she answers quickly despite the fact she doesn’t have but maybe a minute to talk.</p><p>“Good morning, Y/N.”</p><p>You don’t respond immediately because you’re too busy staring at the box you’d managed to put on your counter. You didn’t really want it there, but Milo kept trying to get to one of the kittens inside.</p><p>Yes. Someone had left kittens at your doorstep. The first and hopefully the last time someone did something so cliché and quite frankly cruel to you. There had been five kittens in the box but only two were alive by the time you got to them. You had checked three times before separating them from their live siblings and hurrying to get dressed for work. You couldn’t help them much here, but from what you could tell they were in decent condition.</p><p>You’d wrapped them up in towels and piled them back in the box before realizing that there was a note at the bottom of it. You held it in your hands, and were still staring at it when Billie picked up. You open your mouth to say something, but you can’t find the words.</p><p>“Y/N?”</p><p>You had almost forgotten that Billie was supposed to be at an interview now, or soon, you weren’t really sure what time it was. This had thrown you off so much you honestly didn’t know if you’d walked Milo yet. Luckily he was just sitting by patiently, watching you and sniffing for the kittens that were almost as young as Billie’s had been when she’d first brought them in.</p><p>“Hi Billie. Uh-.”</p><p>You trail off as you try to figure out how to explain this. You read the note one last time before throwing it on the counter with a sigh.</p><p>“Something’s happened.”</p><p>Billie is still a little distracted when the interview starts. She had only been able to talk to you for a few minutes before she had to leave. You had told her as much as you could before apologizing for interrupting her morning. You had to get to work anyway, but you couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was going on. Rather, who the hell had left you a box of kittens and a creepy ass note?</p><p>You make it to work on time, somehow, and despite your hectic morning you smile at the first person you see as you enter the building. Erin. You had already put Milo in his kennel after giving him a little extra breakfast for making him wait much longer than usual, so you are only holding the kittens when you greet Erin.</p><p>“Good morning, Erin.”</p><p>Erin smiles as she sticks her phone and keys in her pocket before doing a double take. She wasn’t sure what you were holding, but as she gets a little closer, she sees that the box is not a box of donuts like she’d originally thought. You notice her looking and you’re quick to explain the odd arrangement in your hands.</p><p>“Morning Dr. Y/L/N. What do you have there?”</p><p>You sigh as you put the box down on the treatment table. You really had wanted to get a different one because this one was falling apart, but you’d already been running late and you really didn’t have a suitable alternative, so here you were. You watch as Erin peeks into the box before repeating what you’d told Billie. Minus the cursing of course.</p><p>“Five kittens were left in this box in front of my door this morning. Only two were alive, and they seem pretty weak.”</p><p>Erin frowns as you say this, and she reaches into the box to pet the smaller kitten that is still wrapped in a hand towel. You don’t mention the creepy note. You’d only told Billie because you were a little freaked out. However, she’s managed to calm you down and say that it was probably some random creep from your building, not Doug.</p><p>You push these thoughts to the back of your mind before you nod at what Erin says next. You were only half listening but you hope that you assume correctly.</p><p>“That’s so sad and messed up. Who do you think left them?”</p><p>You sigh in defeat as you take the three dead kittens out of the box and set them on the table. You want to make sure that they’re taken care of before your first appointment.</p><p>“It really is. I’m not sure who left them. I honestly don’t know many of my neighbors.”</p><p>With Erin’s help, the two of you take care of all five kittens and figure out what you’re going to do with them before your first appointment. You know that they need to be taken care of and checked on frequently. You can’t ask any of the technicians to do that because they already have their hands full with surgeries this morning. So you spend all of your free time in between appointments taking care of them when you can and feeding them formula.</p><p>Your boss isn’t in today, but almost everyone knows about the kittens’ presence before lunch time. You know it is a lot of responsibility, taking care of practically newborn kittens, so you aren’t surprised when no one jumps at the chance to take them in. You are already thinking of places to call when your phone starts to vibrate from your pocket.</p><p>You put the kitten in your hands, you’ve named them already despite your better judgement, back in the bed you’ve made before you reach for your phone. You see it’s Billie and sigh before looking at the time. You are done with appointments for the morning, all you really need to do is walk Milo.</p><p>“Hi Billie.”</p><p>You answer the phone as you walk to the kennels to grab Milo. You can’t really hear what Billie says immediately because it’s a lot louder than you thought it would be. You grab Milo quickly before retreating to the yard where the labs are already playing. You smile at some of the assistants sitting on the benches before heading out further into the yard.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what did you say?”</p><p>Billie had returned home a little while ago, and she had decided to check in on you since you should be on lunch. You had told her about the kittens and the note, but she’d literally been on her way to the interview so you hadn’t been able to really discuss it. She realizes that you are outside with Milo because she hears barking and traffic, but she doesn’t get to ask before you’re speaking again.</p><p>“Shit, I forgot. How was your interview this morning?”</p><p>You’re wandering around the yard, making sure not to step in any mud puddles or anything other than grass. You glance over to your dog who is running back and forth between dogs trying to steal a tennis ball, before you focusing back on Billie’s voice when she speaks up.</p><p>“It was fine, Y/N. Not nearly as exciting as your morning though.”</p><p>You smile at this before you shake your head in disagreement. You weren’t sure why Billie never seemed to want to talk about her interviews. You always assumed that they were more fun than she made them seem, but you knew now wasn’t the time to talk about this.</p><p>“So you talked about your show?”</p><p>Billie sighs more to herself than at you as she takes another drag of her cigarette. She was exhausted already, and it was barely noon. She had a lot more to do today, but she definitely wasn’t in the mood. She would much rather help you take care of these new kittens.</p><p>“We did. Only a couple of weeks before it airs.”</p><p>You smile at this before nodding to yourself. You pet Milo as he comes to say hi to you, and you take the ball that he offers you with a smile. You look at it for a moment before you realize how covered in mud and saliva it is. You groan under your breath and chuck it across the yard before responding to Billie.</p><p>“That’s so exciting Billie. I can’t wait to watch it!”</p><p>You mean this and you smile wider when Billie laughs in return. You two talk a bit about how you are going to watch it together as soon as it airs. You throw around ideas and you’re already looking forward to a night of cuddling on the couch with Billie.</p><p>Eventually you change the subject to the kittens that you need to check on again. The smaller one that you’ve dubbed Charlie wasn’t doing so well. He, or she, you honestly couldn’t tell, wasn’t eating as much and barely moved. The other kitten, Bo, was bigger, more active, and would definitely be trouble. You could already tell from how much he moved around and refused to listen to you. Not that you really thought either of them understood much at their age.</p><p>Billie laughs at the news of the new kitten’s names. She wasn’t sure why she thought you wouldn’t have names for them yet. You had only told her about half a dozen times how you made sure every single animal you met had a name.</p><p>“You said Bo was the troublemaker?”</p><p>Billie’s putting out her cigarette as she watches the clock on the oven. She only has a few minutes before she needs to be on a conference call. You laugh before telling Billie a little more about the kittens. You are already head over heels for them, but you really can’t keep them. You sigh as you say this to Billie before throwing the ball for Milo one last time.</p><p>“They’re adorable, but they’re a lot of work as you know. I don’t think I can do it on my own.”</p><p>You have a full-time job that you may not be working full time at right now, but you will be once you recover. Milo is honestly the only pet you can have right now, but you can’t just dump the kittens on someone else. You just have to see what you can figure out. Make a few calls and hopefully find these two adorable gray kittens a good home.</p><p>It’s only 6 hours later that you are on your way home with Milo and two kittens. You aren’t surprised that you ended up in this situation. Despite all the effort you put into finding a shelter, foster family, literally anyone else to take these kittens, you had come up with nothing. Well, that wasn’t true. You came up with a possible lead that someone needed to check on, but that would take at least a couple of days. You weren’t sure that it wouldn’t fall through and you were already preparing yourself to take care of these kittens until they were, well as old as Billie’s cats were now.</p><p>You sigh as you open the door to your apartment carefully. You watch as Milo walks in first. You honestly hadn’t bothered putting his leash on because you had your hands full, but he was good and stuck by your side. This was mostly because he wanted to play with the kittens, but you would take what you could get at the moment because it seemed like you were getting very little.</p><p>You shut the door behind you with a sigh before locking it and heading to the kitchen. You’d gotten rid of the dirty old box from this morning and now had a small litterbox that was going to house the kittens until you bought a more suitable alternative. You look under the blanket that you had laid on top of the kittens and you smile as you watch them squirm. They are just waking up and you set the blanket back on them briefly before you put your bags down.</p><p>You brought home a lot of things for them and you were just now realizing how much as you set it all down in front of you. There was formula, more blankets since you didn’t have a bed for them, and an assortment of bowls. You cursed your inability to make decisions before you got to work making the kittens’ next meal.</p><p>Milo just watches as you run around the kitchen and feed the small mewling furballs. He tries to jump up and get a better look once you put them down, but he stops short as you grab the box they’re in and head to the living room. You sigh as you look around and try to figure out what to do next. How the hell are you going to make this work?</p><p>Billie is finally done working for the day. She is just about to check on the kittens for the last time when you call her. She’d asked Michelle to buy a pen that she could keep downstairs so they could spend more time outside of the laundry room. They were really starting to spend more time awake and it was entertaining to watch them sometimes. Billie returned to the kitchen for her phone before she headed toward the kittens. She saw it was you and smiled before answering.</p><p>“Hi, sweetheart.”</p><p>You smile despite how tired you are before collapsing on the couch with the kittens in your lap. Well, the box is in your lap and you just stare down at them as you sigh in exhaustion.</p><p>“Hi, Billie. How was the rest of your day?”</p><p>As Billie tells you about her busy day, you just watch the kittens squirm around. They aren’t very active, which isn’t surprising, but you still feel the need to watch them closely and make sure they don’t get into trouble. You don’t realize that Billie has stopped speaking until she calls your name twice. You cringe at the fact that you spaced out and missed who knows how much before you sigh again.</p><p>“Sorry Billie. I just got distracted by the kittens.”</p><p>Billie frowns slightly at this and she glances to her own kittens who are bouncing around excitedly. Mickey is tackling one of his siblings, and Billie swears her heart melts at the sight.</p><p>“You weren’t able to find anyone to take them off your hands?”</p><p>You shake your head before thinking back to what Mina had said. You relay this to Billie before you have to stifle a yawn. You don’t do a very good job though because Billie clearly hears it.</p><p>“Not yet. Mina might know someone, but she’s got to get in touch with them first. For now, they’re with me.”</p><p>Billie’s frown deeps as she thinks of all the reasons why she doesn’t like this. You’re still supposed to be taking it easy, and she knows firsthand how time-consuming taking care of kittens is. You sound exhausted and Billie is already thinking of different ways to help you out.</p><p>“I hope she finds someone for you soon, Y/N. You already sound exhausted.”</p><p>You know that Billie is only concerned about you, but you frown in annoyance because you don’t really have another choice. You’re going to take care of these kittens whether you really want to or not, but hopefully it won’t be for more than a couple of days.</p><p>When Thursday rolls around and you still have the kittens, you realize how naïve you’d been. The first couple of days were hell like you thought they would be, but there were little reprieves throughout the day while at work. Someone else would check on Bo and Charlie, everyone loved their names, or a cancellation in your schedule gave you more time to play catch up.</p><p>However, Thursday morning you’re not even at lunch yet and you have a raging headache. You’d stayed up late last night taking care of the kittens because when you went to check on them before bed, you noticed that Charlie wasn’t moving. You had hoped he was asleep, but he was actually blue and barely breathing. You had done what you could before rushing to the hospital where you stayed until only a few hours before you had to go to work.</p><p>Now you were falling asleep at your computer while you tried to work on a medical record. You reached for your water bottle since you couldn’t take any more pain meds right now, but you miscalculate and it tumbles to the floor spilling water everywhere.</p><p>“Shit!”</p><p>You hurry to pick up the bottle you stupidly left open and looked around for something to clean it with when there was a knock on your door. You turn, abandoning the mess for now, to see Mina standing in the doorway with a concerned look.</p><p>“Everything okay?”</p><p>You just nod before getting off the floor and sitting back in your chair. You cringe slightly as you nod which undermines your response but that’s okay for now. Luckily Mina has some news for you.</p><p>“All good, thanks. What’s up?”</p><p>Mina smiles as she tells you about her friend’s friend that finally figured out how she could take the kittens.</p><p>“She says that her parents will take her dog for a couple weeks so she can keep them until we can adopt them out.”</p><p>You sigh in relief before smiling widely at the news. You shoot Mina a grateful look before feeling yourself relax. The tension and stress that has built up for the past couple of days leaves your body and you feel lighter.</p><p>“Thank you, Mina. That’s great news! Do I need to meet them somewhere?”</p><p>Mina shook her head and said that she could take them to her after work today. You were tempted to hug her, but you had a lot of dog hair on you and probably some water, so you held back. Still you were smiling as you thanked her again. You were ready to sleep through the night again for sure.</p><p>“Thank you so much. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”</p><p>The rest of the day goes much better for you because simply knowing that you will sleep better brightens your mood. You still have your damn headache, but even that gets better after the first couple of afternoon appointments. It’s not until the end of the day, that you realize you have to say goodbye to the kittens. At least for the next couple of weeks. You wander back to isolation where they’re being kept with a frown. You watch them just sleep and occasionally squirm for a few minutes before you realize that you’re no longer alone.</p><p>You move out of the way so Mina can join you in the small room before asking despite already knowing the answer.</p><p>“Time to go?”</p><p>Mina has all of her things and she just nods before moving to collect the kittens. They mewl a little at being disturbed and you smile at the adorable sight before holding the door open for her. You follow the brunette out and sigh as she turns to leave.</p><p>“See you soon kittens. Please thank her again for me?”</p><p>Mina just nods in agreement before she heads out to the parking lot, and you sigh again before remembering that you have your own things to collect before you can leave for the night. You don’t work tomorrow or this weekend, so you have a nice long time to catch up on some sleep.  You’re so eager to get home and sleep that you forget your phone upstairs, and you’re so tired you consider leaving it there. Deciding against it, you hurry to your office to grab it before running back downstairs to where your dog is whining impatiently. You silence him with a quick scratch before heading for the parking lot. You put your phone in your pocket without bothering to check it, so you miss the fact you have a couple of missed calls and two new text messages from Billie.</p><p>
  <em>Are you still at work, sweetheart?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you want to come over after?  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hello! This time I am serious. We are near the end! Thanks for sticking around! Enjoy. </p><p>Warnings: angst, mentions of death, fluff and cuteness</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You end up taking a raincheck on Billie’s offer because you make it all the way home and practically into bed before you see her message. You feel conflicted because you really would like to see Billie. This week had been killer for you both, and you hardly talked. Still, you were exhausted and you had struggled to keep your eyes open long enough to shower and take Milo out, so you doubted you’d make it to Billie’s tonight.</p><p>However, since you have tomorrow off and Billie is a little less busy, you promise that you’ll see her. You are eager to because it’s been a long week and you have missed her a lot. You had gotten a little swept up with taking care of the kittens and you hadn’t been as attentive as you had wanted. You decide that you are going to make it up to her tomorrow, but for now you really need to rest.</p><p>You were asleep by the time Milo made his way upstairs. He had hung out in the living room for a while because he wasn’t nearly as tired as you were. However, after wandering around for a while and looking for any stray snacks, and not finding any, he comes upstairs to your room. You didn’t even stir when he decides to try and sneak onto your bed tonight instead of his own. He moves to the head of the bed and lies down beside you with a yawn.</p><p>You wake up the next morning and immediately feel sick. You’re not sure why, but you’re feverish and achy and you fear that you’d overextended yourself this week. You try to move but you feel too weak and you struggle to breathe as you finally open your eyes. You see black fur and you groan under your breath as you try to move again.</p><p>“Milo. Off.”</p><p>Your dog sits up immediately at the sound of your voice and he yawns loudly before leaning back over to lick you. You push him away as you manage to sit up and watch as he waits patiently for you to be ready. You sigh as you shake your head in defeat. You catch your breath before you motion for your dog to come, and you smile as he crawls to you excitedly before putting his head in your lap. You sigh again before petting his head and just taking a few minutes to fully wake up.</p><p>You have a lot that you want to do today, but the first thing on your list is taking care of Milo. You eventually get him out of your bed and after you’re dressed and ready you head downstairs. You are outside with Milo watching as he sniffs around some bushes before you think of texting Billie. It is only 8 in the morning so you have to re-read your text a few times to make sure it’s coherent before sending it. You pocket your phone with a sigh before following Milo down the street. You stop at your favorite bakery on the way, and you’re grateful that no one recognizes you. You get your favorite and something for Milo before you continue on your walk.</p><p>You go much farther than you usually do, but it’s nice to be outside so you don’t even really notice. It’s not until Milo turns around that you take a look around and realize how far you’ve taken him. You let him lead you home and you are almost back when your phone vibrates in your pocket.</p><p>You pull it out carefully because you’re well aware of how good you are at walking and texting and holding Milo. Last time you’d tried it without stopping you broke your phone, so despite Milo’s whines, you stop in your tracks to see who texted you.</p><p>
  <em>Good morning, sweetheart. I hope you slept well? </em>
</p><p>You smile before texting Billie back quickly because Milo’s tugging on you impatiently. You tell him to stop and you put your phone up before letting him pull you along. Your mind wanders to everything you wanted to do today. All of the possibilities that you can’t possibly do in one day. Of course there are some you’d prefer over others, but you honestly just wanted to see Billie. You didn’t care what you did as long as you were with her.</p><p>You make it back to your apartment before your phone goes off again, and you sit at your kitchen counter texting Billie back until Milo starts whining for his treat. You shake your head and tell him that he got a treat already, but he just whines louder and you sigh in defeat before standing up. You don’t make it before your phone goes off again and you stop in your tracks to read the message.</p><p>Your smile disappears as Billie’s words register and you frown as you put your feet on the ground and stand up. You lean on the counter and reread the text before sending a quick response. You don’t realize that it reads as disappointed as you feel until you come back from giving Milo a treat and you already have a response.</p><p>You sigh as you shake your head. You can’t be mad at Billie for having to work. You aren’t mad, you’re just bummed that you won’t get to see her as soon as you’d hoped. Still, you’re quick to respond to her lunch invite and you smile as you begin to think of places to go. She of course asks you to pick to keep you busy, or as she put it, to “keep you thinking about me” and you only smile widely as you respond.</p><p>
  <em>As if I need any help with that.</em>
</p><p>You start looking for places as soon as Billie tells you she’s off to work. You sit on the couch with Milo and look at restaurants for about half an hour before deciding. After figuring out lunch, you quickly become distracted and put on a movie that you’ve been wanting to see for a while.</p><p>However, you’re only about half an hour into it before you realize you’re too distracted. You turn it off with a sigh before looking around the room. You don’t know what to do, but you have a few hours before you even need to think about getting ready to leave. You lie on the couch for a while just on your phone before that gets too boring and you decide to go upstairs. You check in with Mina to see how the kittens are doing, but since she’s working you know it will be a while before you hear back. You decide to clean a little because you really don’t know what else to do and you’re really just killing time.</p><p>You clean your sheets, tidy up, and vacuum your entire apartment before you decide to take a nap. You lie in your nice clean bed, not surprised that Milo follows you onto it, but you kick him off before reaching for your phone again.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t wait to see you. I hope you’re enjoying your day off?</em>
</p><p>You smile at Billie’s message before looking around your room. You were getting a lot accomplished and that was never a bad thing. You were just enjoying the time off and you told Billie this before heading back downstairs. You had checked a couple of days ago to see how many episodes of Billie’s show you had to watch to get caught up, and it was a surprising amount. You figured that now was as good a time as any to start. You loved seeing Billie in her element, and watching these and then getting to see Billie for real right after was even better. Milo joins you on the couch again and you turn on the last episode of Billie’s show that you’d seen. You pause only a few minutes in because you forgot snacks, and you return to the couch to another message from Billie. It’s nearly 10 and you’re getting more excited as time goes by. For this reason, you frown when you see Billie’s message. It seems like she’s underestimated how much work she has today.</p><p>Regardless, you respond and say that you’re fine with pushing lunch back before lying down on the couch again. You’re frowning until Billie’s voice plays on the television, and you turn your attention back to the show and let yourself get pulled into the story.</p><p>Billie is a little ticked off. She had worked a lot this week which she usually didn’t mind, but today she had plans with you. She had told herself at the beginning of the week, and you too, that she’d be free to see you. She knew that tomorrow was your birthday and she had a feeling that you weren’t looking forward to it. You hadn’t mentioned it at all, not that you struck her as the type to do so, but Billie still took this as a bad sign. She had wanted to surprise you, or keep you distracted, but things weren’t going well for her today and she was trying to figure out how late she was going to be.</p><p>She’s already pushed back lunch, but she’s afraid she’ll have to cancel altogether if she can’t get this worked out. She’s back on the phone again by the time you text her, and Billie feels her mood sour with each passing minute. She has a feeling that she won’t be done with work anytime soon if this keeps up.</p><p>She glances over at the kittens who are tuckered out and lying in their usual pile. Bit isn’t in the pen with them, meaning that she jumped ship at some point, but Billie didn’t have time to worry about that. She turns her attention back to her call before shaking her head when something Michelle says registers.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what was that?”</p><p>Michelle hesitates because she knew that Billie wasn’t going to like what she had to say. She knew she had to tell her though, so she repeated what she’d tried to say about Y/N in between two other things hoping that Billie wouldn’t notice. She holds back a sigh at her failure before mentioning the latest news about you.</p><p>Billie shakes her head immediately because she doesn’t want to get into this again. She tells Michelle that she doesn’t want to comment before moving onto the next item of business. Billie glances at her watch and sighs at the time. This day has been dragging on, and it wasn’t even noon.</p><p>You watch a couple episodes of Billie’s show before you have to take Milo on another walk. You check your phone to see if Billie’s texted you, but you don’t have any new messages. You decide to not worry about it before you and Milo head out. You take him a different way because you want a change in scenery, but you immediately realize there are more people than you anticipated. Maybe it was just because it was later in the day, but you press on and decide to make this walk a shorter one.</p><p>Unfortunately, Milo doesn’t like your plan and the two of you end up walking nearly a mile before you can get him to turn around. You are reminded of how far you have to walk back when you check the time. It’s nearly noon and you curse as you pick up the pace to get back to your apartment. Milo likes to run so he doesn’t complain and the two of you get back in a half the time.</p><p>You are practically panting as you and Milo stop at the elevator in the lobby, and you smile down at your dog who is panting just as hard but still looks happy as always. You reach out to pet him as the elevator door opens, and you’re still smiling when you turn to see who walks out.</p><p>You stiffen despite your best efforts, and your frown becomes as scowl when you and Doug make eye contact. He’s holding a stack of junk that just leaves his face visible and you glare at him as he walks out of the elevator. You don’t say anything as he just scoffs at you before he’s on his way out, but Milo starts to growl beside you. You don’t notice immediately because you’re watching Doug closely as he turns back to you with an ugly look.</p><p>“Watch your dog, bitch.”</p><p>You don’t say any of the things that come to mind and instead just roll your eyes before stepping into the elevator. You press the ‘close door’ button way too many times, and once it finally shuts you take a deep breath. You relax a little as it slowly makes it way to your floor. You close your eyes with a sigh when it dings, and you think it’s your floor until someone else appears on the other side. You move Milo to make room and you watch as this man you don’t recognize gives your dog an uncertain look before stepping inside. You don’t think anything of it really until you reach your floor and you look to Milo, only to see him sniffing this stranger.</p><p>You pull him away with an apologetic look that the brunette doesn’t notice.</p><p>“Sorry. Milo sit.”</p><p>Milo just whines but as the doors open, he practically darts out and you’re quick to follow him. You hurry to your apartment and practically slam the door behind you. You don’t even notice before you lock it quickly and hurry toward the kitchen. You find Milo’s treats and fumble to open the container before you realize that you didn’t even take off his leash. You try to do this with one hand, but you’re shakier than you realize and you drop then entire container of treats on the floor.</p><p>“Milo no!”</p><p>You sigh in defeat as Milo snags the treats at his feet, but luckily he stops after that and just waits as you get to your knees to pick them all up. You realize after you keep dropping them that you’re nervous. You don’t really think about why until you stop to take a deep breath. You let the treats in your hand fall to the floor and you don’t even try to stop Milo from getting them. You take a few seconds to breathe, just relax before trying again.</p><p>“Milo, sit down.”</p><p>He gobbles up one last treat before doing as he’s told and you reach out to take off his leash before pointing to the couch. You tell him to sit and he just runs over and jumps up while you continue to clean up your mess. You finally finish up before you head over to where Milo’s sitting. You sit down next to him and scratch his ears before pulling him in for a hug. You tell him he’s an adorable pig before you lean back against the couch with a sigh.</p><p>You close your eyes and try to regain your bearings. You always hated how thrown you get by seeing certain people, most of them were left behind when you moved, and you sigh in frustration before reaching for your phone.</p><p>You end up groaning loudly when you see Billie’s message. She’d sent it almost half an hour ago, and it wasn’t good news. You felt bad about her getting stuck working, but you knew you couldn’t do anything to help. So you just respond and secretly hope that nothing else comes up.</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, Y/N. Things are going slowly here. How about dinner? </em>
</p><p>You sigh before deciding that if you don’t get to see Billie now, you may as well watch her on TV. You move Milo a little so you can lie down and you yawn before patting beside you.</p><p>“Come here Milo.”</p><p>Milo doesn’t need to be asked twice and he hurries to drop down next to you before resting his head on your stomach. You smile as you reach out to pet his head before turning your attention to the television. You watch the screen for a while before Billie appears again and you smile to yourself before looking at the clock. It’s almost two. Surely Billie will be free by dinner time.</p><p>Billie is getting antsy. It is after 4 pm and she really wanted to make dinner tonight. She had wanted to spend a majority of the day with you honestly, but things just kept coming up. Last minute decisions and promotional things just kept being thrown at her and she knew she had to agree to most of the ones her team presented to her. For this reason, she was stuck at the studio approving things while her mind wasn’t on any of them. She usually really enjoyed figuring these things out and being a part of the decision-making process. However, right now she felt like she was saying the same things over and over, and if she had to see that same shot of her in the hospital one more time she was going to scream. She was just too restless to do much else today, but fortunately she should be done soon.</p><p>Billie looks at her watch again and sighs. Only an hour tops until she’s out of here and hopefully on her way to have dinner with you. Billie smiles at the thought and allows this to carry her through her next task. She just has to be patient. Billie knows that seeing you will be worth it, so she sighs before putting out her cigarette and turning her attention back to work.</p><p>You wake up in a similar position as the one from this morning, and you groan before nudging Milo off of you. He was sleeping with his face practically at your own and it doesn’t take you long to realize why. It is past his dinner time, and he wasn’t going to wait much longer. You sigh as you get up and hurry to the kitchen, and unsurprisingly Milo is hurrying after you. You watch him eat for a few seconds before you glance at the clock again. Then it hits you.</p><p>It’s almost 6:30.</p><p>You look around for your phone before remembering that you left it on the couch. The device ends up being under the couch and you don’t figure that out until Milo finishes eating and is back to annoy you, or rather help you look. When you finally retrieve it from under the couch you immediately notice how many notifications there are.</p><p>
  <em>Three missed calls from Billie Dean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I won’t be able to make dinner tonight. Something came up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Y/N? Are you awake? </em>
</p><p>These were sent about an hour ago, and you know you need to respond. You’re more than a little upset that you won’t see Billie after waiting around all day. You understand she’s busy, but you are also feeling the stress and dread associated with tomorrow and you had been counting on a nice distraction. You suppose it’s not fair to put this on Billie, but you can’t help it.</p><p>You sit on the couch after you replace the cushions and dial Billie’s number. It doesn’t occur to you that she might still be working, but after the third ring you realize how tired you still are. You sigh once it gets to the fifth, and you almost hang up before you hear that telltale beep followed by Billie’s voice.</p><p>“Y/N? Are you there?”</p><p>You smile despite yourself and nod in answer before offering a verbal response. “Hi Billie.”</p><p>Billie sighs and resists the urge to curse under her breath. You sounded tired and she wasn’t sure if it was because you’d been sleeping or you were upset. She decides not to waste any time apologizing again and she waits anxiously for your response. She’s smoking again because she was beyond frustrated at this point. Nothing was going right and all day long she’d just wanted to see you. It probably won’t mean anything to you right now, but she’s refused to work this weekend. She didn’t care if things weren’t finished.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Today has just been a lot more than I thought it would be.”</p><p>You sigh before shaking your head. You don’t like not being able to see Billie, but you don’t want to blame her for it. She doesn’t have set hours like you do, and they are clearly unpredictable.</p><p>“It’s okay, Billie. I’m sorry you’re so busy though.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t respond immediately because she is expecting you to say more. She had expected you to be more upset, even angry at her, but you aren’t. She takes another drag before sighing in frustration.</p><p>“It’s just one of those days. I was really hoping to see you though.”</p><p>You nod in agreement before considering what you’re about to offer. Will you really be up for company tomorrow? You certainly don’t want to be alone, but you weren’t sure how fun it would be for Billie to be around you. Eventually your desire to see Billie outweighs your worry and you glance at Milo who is sitting at your feet before suggesting you try again tomorrow.</p><p>“Do you want to try again tomorrow?”</p><p>You and Billie decide that you’ll visit her tomorrow whenever you’re free. You hang up shortly after because Billie still has work to do, but you are glad that you have a guaranteed time that you will be seeing your girlfriend. You and Milo of course.</p><p>You’ve never left him alone for a prolonged period of time. He honestly went with you everywhere and you like it that way. He was relatively low maintenance and he was well behaved when he had to be. He also kept you company and warded off unwanted attention. More than you probably realize.</p><p>You turn to see your dog lying on the carpet, his ears or his lips twitching occasionally. You smile before lying back down and staring at the ceiling. You know you should eat dinner, but you’re not really hungry. You’d been so excited and planned to eat with Billie that you hadn’t thought about it much.</p><p>That was new for you. You usually always had your mind on food. That’s just who you were, but for once you’d been more focused on something else. You close your eyes before sighing heavily. You now have free time for yourself, and you could do any number of things. However, you decide to just lie in your living room thinking about Billie. You think about how stressed she sounded and how busy she truly must be. You wish you could do something to help, but that’s not your area of expertise and you know there’s nothing you could really do for her.</p><p>Still, you hate that she was so worried when she already had a lot on her plate. You roll over so your face is in the pillow beneath you before sighing again. You almost fall asleep again when Milo begins to paw at you around walk time. You get up quickly because your stomach has started to hurt and you know you need to eat.</p><p>About half an hour later you have your food, and you’re actually sitting at the table instead of on the couch. It’s difficult to eat there sometimes and Milo always tries to get some of whatever you’re having. Tonight, there is a lot of stuff that he can’t have so you decide to stay out of reach while you’re eating.</p><p>You eat while scrolling on your phone for a while before it occurs to you to check Facebook. You’ve never liked it when people wished you happy birthday in the past, but you really wanted to avoid it this year if you could. You make sure that it’s set to private before logging out and finishing up your dinner. You eat quickly because now that you have nothing else to do, you want to go to sleep. This week was your first back and you were a little more exhausted than you thought you’d be.</p><p>You need to relax.</p><p>A couple of hours later you are in bed for the night and although its embarrassingly early, you can’t bring yourself to care. You are exhausted and already half asleep when you start to think about how tomorrow will go. You know how you would have spent it back home. You would have gone to your favorite restaurant with your dad, or you would have cooked at home depending on your mood. You probably would have wanted to stay in because last time you left Milo alone for too long you came home to him scattering trash on the floor.</p><p>You are too tired to scold Milo when he decides that he would rather sleep on your bed than his own. This honestly happened every other night and you only tell him to get off about half of the time. This is one of those nights you give in because you just sigh in defeat as he lies down next to you. You reach an arm out from under the covers and try to find his head to pet him. You miss, but Milo luckily likes scratches everywhere, and you feel him lick you a few seconds later.</p><p>“Okay, Milo. Goodnight.”</p><p>You hear him yawn before he settles back down and you sigh again before closing your eyes. You don’t realize that you’re tearing up as you think about how tomorrow could have played out if you were still living back East with your dad. If none of the last 6 months had happened you could still be at home. You could be celebrating your birthday with your dad who of course would ask you if you felt any older. You always answered him the same way, but this year you certainly will feel older. Much older than your 28 years.</p><p>You squeeze your eyes shut in frustration before forcing yourself to think of something else. You’re not sure what you settle on eventually, but you fall into a fitful sleep soon enough. Hopefully you’ll feel better tomorrow. You’ll be seeing Billie, so you had to. Right?</p><p>Billie Dean wakes up the next morning exhausted yet excited about the day ahead. She waits until she starts her second cup of coffee to text you. She’s already taken care of the cats and looked at the only emails she’s going to today, but it’s only 8. She doesn’t want to wake you, especially on your birthday, but she decides to risk it once she’s done with her coffee.</p><p>
  <em>Good morning, Y/N.</em>
</p><p>She doesn’t mention your birthday yet because she’s not sure if it’s going to be a sensitive subject. She doesn’t want to ruin your day, so she decides to wait until she sees you. While she waits for your response, she goes back upstairs to do a few things. She has to straighten up a little, but she doesn’t really care much about that. She knows you won’t mind a little cat hair, and Billie’s more concerned about you. She hopes that today will be enjoyable for you, despite the circumstances.</p><p>Your first thought after waking up is unsurprisingly that it’s your birthday. You’re 28 today and you feel the same as you did yesterday. Maybe a little worse. You get up walk Milo and eat breakfast before you try to figure it out. When you finally allow yourself to think about it, you just feel tired. You feel like you’ve aged years in these past 6 months and you hate it. You hate how much has changed and how much you’ve lost.</p><p>You can’t think about this right now because then you’ll break down. You are seeing Billie today so you want to avoid this at all costs. You settle on feeling numb over feeling too overwhelmed right now. You will have many more birthdays to cry about this.</p><p>You finish up breakfast and start cleaning up when your phone goes off. You don’t look at it until you’re finished and you sigh in anticipation.</p><p>It’s Billie.</p><p>You smile slightly before responding and the two of you decide that you’ll head over to her place around noon. She wanted to have lunch and you weren’t going to argue despite wanting to go earlier. You had only been waiting to see Billie all week, and you could hardly wait. You supposed a few more hours of waiting wouldn’t kill you.</p><p>You look to Milo and consider taking him on another walk, but you decide against it. You’re too lazy to get up again, and you just came back from one and you don’t want to confuse him. You decide to kill time another way and before you know it, it’s almost time to leave.</p><p>You turn off the movie you’d been watching before jumping up to get ready. It was 11 already and you ran upstairs to change clothes and hopefully make yourself presentable. You struggle to figure out what to wear because you’re not really sure what you will be doing. Other than going to lunch of course. So you wear something that hopefully will work for whatever you and Billie end up doing. Once you’re dressed, you and Milo run around your apartment scrambling to find all of your things before you’re on your way to Billie’s.</p><p>You text her to let her know that you’re on the way before hurrying down the stairs with Milo. You don’t have the patience for the elevator, and you’re running a little late so you and Milo book it downstairs. You’re in too much of a rush to open the last door all the way and you hit it as you leave the stairwell. You curse under your breath, but don’t worry about it right now as you lead Milo to the car and on to Billie’s.</p><p>When you arrive almost half an hour later, you’re already planning your apology when Billie opens the door. You can’t help but smile widely at her appearance. You had been looking forward to this all week, and seeing Billie in front of you wearing shorts and her hoodie made you feel better than you thought possible.</p><p>“Hi Billie.”</p><p>You watch as she smiles and you practically tackle her into a hug. She gasps in surprise and you’re already apologizing when Billie’s arms wrap around you.</p><p>“Hi Y/N, it’s good to see you too.”</p><p>Billie laughs as you pull away with a mumbled apology. You let Milo run inside because he’s very eager to explore, but you realize last minute why that might not be a great idea.</p><p>“Sorry, Billie. I’m just excited to see you. Oh wait, are the cats out?”</p><p>You watch as Billie turns slightly as Milo runs behind her and into the house. She doesn’t stop him even though she nods in response to your question. She waves you in and you follow her into the house. She shuts the door as you take off your shoes and when you turn back to her, you’re quickly back in her arms.</p><p>Billie kisses your forehead, waiting until you look up to kiss your nose. You smile widely before meeting her for a kiss. You sigh happily as Billie’s hands find your waist as she backs you into the wall. You reach out for Billie’s hoodie, pulling her closer as you moan into her mouth. You are too focused on Billie to hear Milo whining. He has found the kittens in their pen, and he wanted to play with them. He hadn’t seen all six of them like this before and he was jumping around the pen, almost knocking it down as he tried to find an opening.</p><p>You groan as Billie starts to kiss your neck, and you shift impatiently as your girlfriend’s hands start to wander. You tangle your fingers in Billie’s hair before you hear a louder whine from down the hall. You sigh in defeat, but try to focus on Billie’s lips instead of whatever Milo is up to. You squeeze your eyes closed when you feel teeth against your pulse point, and you nearly whine when Billie pulls away to whisper in your ear.</p><p>“As much as I would like to take you to bed, I did promise you to lunch.”</p><p>You sigh at this trying not to pout as you smile at Billie’s words. You know she’s right, but damn it you can’t help yourself sometimes. When you’re around her you find it so easy to relax and just enjoy the moment. You blame getting carried away on the fact that you haven’t seen her in almost a week.</p><p>You nod to both her and yourself before shooting Billie a smile.</p><p>“We can easily do both.”</p><p>Billie chuckles as she rolls her eyes at your comment before moving away from you to see what Milo’s up to. You chase after her for one more kiss before you let her lead you to the living room. You see Milo pawing at the floor in front of the cats’ pen and you smile before moving to take off his leash.</p><p>“Oh my gosh they’re so cute!”</p><p>You watch as the kittens play with one another, most of them at least, before Milo starts to paw at you. You ignore him at first but Billie seems to realize what he wants and she sighs before considering her options. She tells you a little bit about how they’re doing and how she’s getting a little sad about parting with them on Monday. You smile sympathetically before turning to where she’s standing beside you.</p><p>“I promise we’ll find them good homes, Billie.”</p><p>Billie smiles gratefully at you before moving to open the pen. You smile in anticipation before Milo’s whining reminds you of his presence and you glance down at him with a slightly anxious look.</p><p>“Umm…Milo you’ll be good right?”</p><p>You watch as Milo just starts to yip in anticipation before grabbing him by his harness just to be safe. You think that he’ll be fine, but you don’t want to risk anything so you make him sit as Billie releases the kittens. They shy away at first because clearly they see Milo sitting by, but eventually they are brave enough to wander toward him. You just smile as Mickey leads the way toward Milo who is trying to meet them halfway.</p><p>“Milo no, stay.”</p><p>You hold your dog while Billie stands by watching as Mickey finally reaches Milo’s feet. He steps on them before trying to climb up Milo’s leg and you can’t help but laugh as he falls back onto the carpet onto one of his siblings. You tell Milo to lie down and he’s eager to get closer to the kittens, so he does so quickly. You sit down next to him, watching as he’s swarmed by kittens who climb on him, knead him and roll around on top of him. Milo raises his head up to lick Mickey who ends up falling over from the force of it.</p><p>You attempt to stifle a laugh while Billie doesn’t even bother, and you turn to her with a smile. You let go of Milo’s harness, but you scratch his back as you shoot Billie a questioning look.</p><p>“So what was it you were saying about lunch?”</p><p>After watching Milo play with the kittens for a little while, you and Billie round them back up and take them upstairs to the laundry room. She’s still keeping them in there whenever she’s not around to watch them and after making sure they’re taken care of you both get ready to go.</p><p>You’re not sure where you’re going, Billie won’t tell you, but she did mention that Milo would be tagging along. You wait patiently out in the hallway as Billie gets changed, but you look up from your phone when you hear her laugh.</p><p>“You know you can come in here, sweetheart. You don’t have to stay in the hallway.”</p><p>You smile slightly as you put your phone away before turning to face Billie. She’s shooting you an amused look and you can’t help but smirk as you take in the sight of her half-dressed.</p><p>“Are you sure that’s a good idea? You told me to keep my hands to myself.”</p><p>Billie just smirks at this, but she doesn’t comment until she’s completely dressed and running a brush through her hair.</p><p>“I never said that, Y/N. I just know how important food is to you and wouldn’t dream of depriving you.”</p><p>You just hum in acknowledgement too busy daydreaming about Billie’s hair to hear what she’s saying. You don’t realize you’ve missed something until Billie’s put down the brush and is walking towards you. You start slightly as she reaches out for you, but then you’re smiling as she leans in and kisses you.</p><p>“Are you ready?”</p><p>The restaurant that Billie takes you to is nicer than the last one, but still casual enough for you to be comfortable. This time you opt to sit next to Billie rather than across from her. You have to turn a little so you can face her when talking, but you prefer being close to her like this. You take a sip of your drink, glancing down at Milo who was eating his first treat of many under the table before turning to Billie. You squeeze her hand with a smile before kissing her cheek when she turns towards you.</p><p>“It’s so nice to be with you again, Billie. I missed you this week.”</p><p>Billie smiles at you before turning completely so she can kiss you properly. She had wondered why you wanted to sit like this, but now that she had you beside her, she honestly likes it better. She loves how affectionate you are, and how you don’t seem worried about attracting unwanted attention. You seem less stressed than Billie had predicted, but she isn’t going to question it. She loves you like this.</p><p>“I missed you too, Y/N. I hate that I couldn’t see you sooner, but this weekend I’m all yours. Okay?”</p><p>You smile at the thought of having Billie all to yourself for the next two days and what that could entail. You nod in response, too preoccupied to say anything. You don’t realize that you’re blushing until Billie pulls you from your thoughts with a laugh. You turn back toward her confused until you see her smile and you sigh in defeat when you realize how transparent you were being. It wasn’t your fault. You’ve never had a good poker face, but luckily this wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t as if Billie didn’t already know how much you wanted her. She knew you found her attractive and she used that against you often, but luckily it was only in ways you liked.</p><p>“I like where your mind is going, sweetheart.”</p><p>You just smile before you take another sip of your drink and glance at the menu. You had looked at it on your phone on the way here because you always want food as soon as possible. However, you need a few seconds of distraction before you can talk about this with Billie. You don’t want to get painfully turned on in an inappropriate place…again.</p><p>“I’m sure you do, Billie Dean, but remember it’s you who wanted to eat lunch first.”</p><p>You smile, foolishly thinking that you’ve won before you feel Billie pull you closer to her. She chuckles under her breath before taking a quick look around. No one is paying attention to you two, but she does notice your waiter on his way out of the kitchen. She’s not sure where he’s heading, but if she’s lucky he’ll be by soon.</p><p>You turn to Billie who has her arm wrapped tightly around you as she glances back to you. She’s smiling in a way that tells you exactly what’s on her mind, and you prepare for the worst.</p><p>“I did say that, but lunch is just anything I feel like eating, sweetheart.”</p><p>You blush furiously because you immediately realize what Billie’s saying. You open your mouth to respond, even though you’re not sure what to say, but it doesn’t matter. Billie beats you to it as she kisses the top of your head before meeting your gaze.</p><p>“You are far more appealing to me than anything on this or any menu, dear.”</p><p>You feel your face heating up as you scramble for something to say. You move closer to Billie without realizing it, and you’re practically kissing her when you see movement out of the corner of your eye. You realize it’s your waiter and you smile before moving away from your girlfriend so you can both order. You honestly don’t even remember what you’d decided on, but that doesn’t matter to you right now. Once you’re alone again, you’re kissing Billie heatedly but you remember last minute not to get too carried away. You part from her with a sigh before running your fingers through her hair.</p><p>“You’re such a sweet talker, Billie. No wonder you always end up getting exactly what you want.”</p><p>Billie smirks at this but doesn’t argue with you because she knows she can’t.</p><p>The two of you enjoy each other’s company while waiting for the food to arrive. You talk about your crazy week and how you hopefully will be less busy, or less stressed come Monday. You tell her how excited you are to see all of her cats at once, and Billie laughs at your enthusiasm. She is sure that it will be an exhausting endeavor trying to get them all to the vet, but she is glad to be seeing you in your element again.</p><p>Billie tells you how she is thinking about keeping Bit so she can be with Mickey. You love the idea because you know too well how long it can take cats to get adopted out. Kittens were cute and everyone wanted them, but cats were different. You were glad to hear that Billie still wanted to get her fixed though.</p><p>“I am not going through this again, Y/N.”</p><p>You laugh at this but don’t argue with her. You’re not sure how Billie managed it all while still working. It is way too much work for any one person to do, and you admired the blonde for sticking to it.</p><p>When your food arrives and conversation starts to lull you decide it’s time to be upfront. You know it is going to come up eventually, and you don’t want to be caught off guard. You had moved away a little so you could eat without crowding Billie, but you already miss the contact. You have always felt safe around Billie and it’s this thought that finally makes you speak up.</p><p>“I wanted to thank you.”</p><p>Billie turns away from her food to look at you in confusion. She’s not sure what she’s done now, but she has a feeling you’re going to tell her. She smiles before shooting you a curious look.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>You smile before checking in on Milo who, as you predicted, was staring at you from under the table. You shake your head with an amused smile before turning back to Billie.</p><p>“For spending time with me, and making my birthday more enjoyable.”</p><p>Billie smiles at you before sighing inaudibly. She’s relieved that you brought it up because she had been dreading having to mention it. She’s glad that you seem relaxed, and far less upset than she’d feared. She just nods before reaching out for the hand that’s on your leg. She ignores Milo who licks her, thinking she was offering him food before squeezing your hand with an adoring look.</p><p>“Thank you for spending your birthday with me, and for trusting me enough to tell me.”</p><p>You sigh because of course Billie will thank you in return. She’s so damn polite sometimes and it just makes you even crazier about her. You thread your fingers through hers with a sigh before nodding in response. You do trust her, and you hope that Billie knows that by now.</p><p>“I do trust you, Billie, and for some reason…”</p><p>You trail off as you feel Milo paw at your leg, and you tell him to sit before taking a deep breath and turning back to Billie. You don’t realize it, but you’re playing with one of Billie’s rings absentmindedly. She doesn’t say anything though, and she just waits for you to gather your thoughts.</p><p>“For some reason I don’t mind talking about it with you. I couldn’t stand the idea of it yesterday, but today, now? I just want to feel better; you know?”</p><p>Billie feels her heart melt at your confession and she wants nothing more than to pull you into a hug and promise to help you feel better. She doesn’t think that’s best; however, so she just smiles sympathetically, watching as you open your mouth to say more. You stop short because you’re not sure how to say what’s on your mind. You don’t want to put the onus on Billie because that wouldn’t be fair. You just want her to know that you appreciate her willingness to listen to you vent. It’s very therapeutic.</p><p>“Talking about it with you makes me feel better. You’re just…it’s comforting. I hope you don’t mind.”</p><p>You throw in the last part as a half-assed attempt to make sure that she doesn’t feel pressured to listen to you. However, as you watch her smile at you before leaning in to kiss your cheek, you feel your face flush as relief washes over you.</p><p>“I don’t mind at all, sweetheart.”</p><p>You sigh in relief before nodding with a shy smile. You’re not sure how you got so lucky to have someone who supports you the way Billie does, but as you lean in to kiss her properly, you swear that you’re never going to take her for granted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hi! There will be one more chapter after this that I will be posting next week! I hope you enjoy! </p><p>Warnings: angst, conversations about death (***)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You and Billie are finishing up lunch when you realize that you hadn’t really talked to her much about what was bothering you. You had probably bored her with too many anecdotes about your childhood and your best birthdays, but you hadn’t mentioned why this year was different. You knew Billie was a smart woman, and that she knew why things were a little tense and lackluster this year. She knew a lot more than you probably were aware of, but you were fine with that for now. You weren’t really sure that you wanted to know the nitty gritty details of what your dad has said to her about you.</p><p>You are leaving the restaurant hand in hand when you’re startled by the sound of someone calling your name. You turn to see a group of reporters with their flashing cameras swarm you, Billie, and Milo. Milo’s already barking and trying to scare the group off, but you pull him away as you follow Billie’s lead and just walk faster.</p><p>Most of them are just yelling your names and anything beyond that you can’t really understand. You’re also actively trying to ignore them, so you don’t realize that they’re asking you something until you get Milo in the backseat of the car. You frown at the question but Billie just leads you around the car to the passenger side and opens the door for you. She doesn’t respond to anything and that’s enough of a hint for you to know that you shouldn’t either.</p><p>“Dr. Y/L/N! Has Billie helped you move on yet?”</p><p>“Have you told her the truth yet, Billie?”</p><p>The medium just shoots the group a dirty look, biting back all of the less than polite remarks she can think of before getting in the car. She sighs as she starts it up, cringing slightly as Milo barks as the reporters get closer and continue to take pictures. You’re quick to stop him and he just starts to whine as you drive further and further away from them. He’s shaking his head and you reach out for him right as he starts to paw at his good eye.</p><p>“Milo, no. It’s okay. Stop that.”</p><p>You stop him from gouging out his eye with a frown. You always hated it when people didn’t consider Milo’s condition before reaching out for him or snapping a damn picture. You sigh in annoyance again before turning to Billie to ask if she was alright. She beats you to it as she glances in the rearview mirror at Milo with a frown.</p><p>“Is he alright?”</p><p>You nod before reaching out one last time to scratch Milo behind his ear. You coo at him and tell him he’s a good boy before turning to Billie.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s okay. He just doesn’t take too kindly to being blinded.”</p><p>Billie’s scowl matches yours as she considers this. She hadn’t even thought about that, but she quickly recalls that first time that reporters ambushed you and Milo. They had made the same mistake, and Billie suddenly has a new reason to not like them.</p><p>“I bet. I’m sorry Milo, is there anything we need to do for him?”</p><p>You’re touched by the fact that Billie even bothers to ask, but you shake your head because he’ll be fine soon. He just needs to a little time. You tell Billie this and she nods before turning her attention back to the road. You are tempted to reach out for her, but she has both hands on the wheel and you don’t want to distract her.</p><p>You don’t realize how obvious you’re being until she takes her right hand off the wheel and puts it on the console between you two. You smile sheepishly but don’t waste any time reaching out to take her hand.</p><p>“Thank you again for lunch.”</p><p>Billie smiles before she kisses the back of your hand since she can’t take her eyes off the road long enough to do anything else. She is glad that you enjoyed lunch and that the two of you hadn’t been bothered until leaving. That was a minor annoyance, but maybe that’s all it had to be. Maybe you wouldn’t ask about it.</p><p>“Of course, dear. It is your birthday after all.”</p><p>You roll your eyes with a laugh before you look over your shoulder briefly to check on Milo. He had settled down at this point, but he was now licking his paws which makes you frown. You decide to ignore this for now, and you sigh dramatically before turning back toward the road. You watch as cars speed by on both sides and you wonder if you’ll ever get used to traffic like this.</p><p>“You’re right. Another year older. Another step closer to 30.”</p><p>You have never been too concerned about your age because well, you’re in your twenties. That said, all of the people you’ve talked to that are in their thirties have warned you that it’s not fun. You don’t put too much stock into that because it’s different for everyone, and you also have enough to worry about at the moment. You don’t plan on adding ‘getting old’ to your list anytime soon.</p><p>Billie scoffs at you before squeezing your hand teasingly. She knows you’re kidding, so she kids back before deciding to get to the real issue at hand.</p><p>“Oh please, Y/N. You have no idea. 30 is a cake walk compared to 40.”</p><p>You open your mouth to respond before what Billie’s saying hits you. You think back to the research you’d done after meeting Billie and you shake your head before shooting her a confused look. You watch as she smirks before shaking her head and you groan under your breath at her response.</p><p>“Wait, you’re not 40 yet!”</p><p>Billie laughs before shaking her head. She has a year and some change before she has to think about that.</p><p>“You’re right, but from what I’ve heard it’s no joke.”</p><p>When you arrive back at Billie’s you let Milo out and he practically sprints for the closest tree. You didn’t realize how long it had been since he’d gone until he’s peeing for much longer than he usually would. You shoot him an apologetic look that he doesn’t notice as he starts to sniff around the yard. You lead him back inside for now because you can feel yourself fading. You’re due for your post-lunch nap, but you want to last for a little while longer. You hate how you are always falling asleep while with Billie.</p><p>You also haven’t forgotten what one of the reporters had said, and you want to ask Billie about it. You follow her inside and let Milo run free as soon as the door shuts behind you.</p><p>Billie heads toward the kitchen and you follow her, but you decline her offer for something to drink. You sit at the counter and watch as she moves around the kitchen to grab a wine glass and then a bottle from the fridge.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>The blonde makes a sound of acknowledgement, and looks up to see you with an uncertain expression that makes her want to sigh. She supposes she’s not going to get out of this after all.</p><p>“What did that reporter mean when he asked if I knew the truth?”</p><p>Billie knew the answer immediately, but she hesitates because she didn’t want it to seem like she’d been anticipating this question. At least not beyond the car ride home. She sighs before picking up her glass and moving to sit next to you. She sets it down before turning to you with an unreadable expression.</p><p>“At one of my last interviews, the host asked a lot of questions about us, and how I was helping you.”</p><p>You don’t say anything because you sense that there is more. You nod and wait as Billie takes a long sip of her wine before looking away for a moment. You are definitely missing something.</p><p>“Specifically, he asked about that one article, and then if I’ve seen your dad.”</p><p>You wait with bated breath, not daring to ask before Billie fills you in. You want to believe that she wouldn’t talk about that, but she hadn’t mentioned much of the interview. Maybe this was the reason for that.</p><p>You don’t have much time to worry before Billie shakes her head before reaching out for you. You didn’t hesitate to take her hand and you sigh in relief when Billie tells you the truth.</p><p>“I didn’t tell him anything, Y/N, but he won’t be the only one to ask.”</p><p>You know that Billie is right because despite existing evidence, you weren’t an idiot. You knew that if there was something that the media found worth talking about, that they would do so until it was boring. For now, you don’t really know what they’re saying beyond what Billie’s told you, and you’re fine with that. You honestly just need to figure out what you want to do about it. You can’t let Billie continue to face these questions unprepared. That’s not fair considering that she can’t avoid them like you can.</p><p>“We should probably come up with a story then, huh?”</p><p>Billie smiles slightly but she’s not really looking forward to coming up with some contrived story for her to sell to the media. She’s not sure if you realize this, you seem deep in thought, but after a couple of minutes pass in silence she decides that she might have to speak up first.</p><p>“What did you have in mind?”</p><p>You don’t answer immediately because you’re too preoccupied thinking about how to make this decision. You have refused to think any further about your dad’s death, but you know that’s not healthy. This isn’t the only reason of course, but having it be the topic of conversation among people who didn’t understand it made you ill. It made you want to figure something out, to deal with your problems, as if they could be solved overnight.</p><p>You sigh in defeat before you shake your head. You’re not sure what Billie should tell them, and you know you won’t until you figure out what the truth is.</p><p>***</p><p>“I think…”</p><p>You don’t know how to put everything that you’re thinking into words. You’ve never been the most articulate person, and trying to figure out everything and not let your feelings overwhelm you has always been a challenge. This is honestly the main reason why you didn’t talk about your feelings.</p><p>You think about your dad and how much you would have liked for him to be with you today. You think about his smile and the way he always said ‘my girl’ after hugging you. You miss hearing him sing downstairs from your room at random times of the day, and you miss his kindness towards animals, people-even those who didn’t deserve it.</p><p>Billie just watches as you start to cry, but she doesn’t dare say anything yet as you wipe your eyes absentmindedly. You are tired of crying over the same things, but you know that won’t stop anytime soon. You have a long way to go before you are able to even think of him for an extended period of time without tearing up. You know this, but still you’re frustrated with yourself.</p><p>“I’m not…I’m not mad at him anymore, Billie. I just I miss him.”</p><p>You don’t know what else to say, but you can feel your tears falling faster and you try not to get more annoyed by this. You hate how you always seem to be breaking down in Billie’s presence. You have no idea how you haven’t scared her away yet with all of your issues. You briefly consider just dropping it when you feel Billie’s hand on your knee. You look down before sniffling pitifully and putting your hand on top of hers with a sigh.</p><p>“I’m not mad at him for lying or hiding things from me. I know why he didn’t want to take anything for it and I--. I just miss him.”</p><p>Billie watches you cry before she risks asking the first question that comes to mind. It might not be the most important at the moment, but she was feeling pressured and she couldn’t help it.</p><p>“You forgive him?”</p><p>You had been berating yourself for thinking that things could have been different. You knew that wasn’t true because you knew your dad…at least in this regard. He wouldn’t have changed because his lifestyle had been too important to him. That and he probably had underestimated the severity of it all.</p><p>You turn to Billie in confusion. You hadn’t heard what she asked, but when you see how tense she’s become all of a sudden you frown.</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p>Billie sighs before looking past you to Milo who is sitting in the dining room. She looks around the room for a split second before looking to you and asking again.</p><p>“Do you forgive him?”</p><p>The question gives you pause and you frown as you consider it. Did you forgive him? You said you weren’t mad at him, but was that the same thing as forgiveness? Your first instinct is to say yes, and you are pretty sure that if you spent hours, days even thinking about it your answer wouldn’t change. You know that your dad had made a lot of mistakes. He hadn’t taken care of himself the way he should have, but in the end there was nothing that could be done about it.</p><p>There was nothing you could have done.</p><p>Your dad was stubborn and maybe short-sighted, but he had been your dad. He’d only ever been supportive and loving, and honestly that was enough for you to make your decision. You know that you would always miss him, and that you could definitely learn from his mistakes, but you weren’t mad at him anymore It didn’t do you any good at this point, and you didn’t want to carry that around with you for years to come.</p><p>Eventually you nod and you miss Billie’s look as you stare down at where your hands are intertwined. You don’t feel like you thought you would. You don’t feel lighter or even really relieved by your admission of how you feel. You’re just tired; too tired to have this weighing on your mind any longer. You look up to see Billie looking over your shoulder and you turn around to see what Milo’s up to but you don’t see him. He’s moved to sit in front of the couch so you can’t see him, meaning that Billie can’t either.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>You don’t realize what you’re asking even after Billie hesitates for a long time. She looks to you before her gaze darts to something behind you again. It’s not until you turn around again and don’t see anything that you realize what’s going on.</p><p>“Billie, what--?”</p><p>You trail off as you stare at nothing, the emptiness of Billie’s living room for what feels like forever before you manage to finish your question. You’re not looking at Billie, so she doesn’t see how you’ve started crying again. She can hear it in your voice though, when you speak up again and it takes all of her willpower not to reach out for you.</p><p>“Who were you looking at?”</p><p>You know the answer to your question and when Billie doesn’t answer you, you turn around to face her. You don’t even need her to say it once you see her expression, and you nearly cry harder as you reach out for her hand with a pleading look.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>“He said thank you.”</p><p>You don’t respond immediately. You’re rendered speechless so you just stare at Billie as you try to process what she’d said. You hadn’t forgotten that your dad was still hanging around. He hadn’t moved on and despite knowing this you’d pushed that fact to the back of your mind. You hadn’t been able to deal with it at the time but you were still painfully aware of the fact that he was still around.</p><p>You and Billie hadn’t talked about him since that night you broke down, but you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about him every day since.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>After nearly five minutes of silence this is the best that you could manage. It was a little pathetic, but you knew Billie would understand. You knew she’d tell you the truth.</p><p>Billie pushes down the exhaustion that suddenly hits her so she can tell you what you need to know. She had been aware that your dad was around, she assumed he wanted to see you on your birthday, but she hadn’t tried to make contact until now.</p><p>She was trying not to get overwhelmed by everything that he had been feeling. She breathes in deeply, trying to catch her breath before she speaks up.</p><p>“He said thank you for forgiving him.”</p><p>You have to wipe at your eyes again and you nearly fall off the chair as you start to stand up. You curse under your breath, but grab onto the counter before turning around again to see that Milo’s emerged from behind the couch. You ignore him for now as you attempt to figure out what Billie is trying to tell you. The way she’s watching you, it’s like she’s waiting for your reaction or your next question before she dares speak up. She has a lot that she could say to you, but she doesn’t want to overwhelm you like last time. She wants you to work through this on your own terms.</p><p>“Wh-?”</p><p>You pause as you look to Milo who is now standing at your feet trying to lick your hand. You move it away because you can’t get distracted right now before you look back to Billie.</p><p>“Is he here now?”</p><p>Billie doesn’t hesitate this time and she shakes her head. She manages to not flinch when she tells you that he’s gone. He left shortly after you admitted that you’d forgiven him, and when Billie says this she hurries to stand up when you start to sway. You nearly trip over Milo as you try to move around the chair between you and Billie, but miraculously you manage to stay on your feet.</p><p>You aren’t aware that you’re moving and on your way to the living room until Billie sits you down on the couch. You hear her voice but you’re not sure what she’s saying until she’s kneeling in front of you. You look to her with a dazed expression before you manage to put your thoughts into words. At least a couple of them.</p><p>“He’s gone?”</p><p>Billie’s hand falls to your knee after she bats an over enthusiastic Milo away. He was trying to jump on you to get your attention but you hadn’t noticed. You are just staring blankly ahead and it is a little unsettling. You seem shocked and she’s worried that she was too blunt with you. Billie reaches for your hand and it’s the feeling of her nails against your skin that pulls you back to the present.</p><p>“Are you alright, Y/N?”</p><p>You nod before Billie’s question really registers, and she could easily tell this by how you didn’t stop nodding. As if you were trying to convince yourself. You can think of about a dozen things you’d like to say right now. You’re struggling to find a single one though as those two words reverberate inside of your head</p><p>
  <em>He’s gone. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Billie was surprised when she woke up on the couch about an hour later with you nowhere in sight. She hadn’t realized how exhausted she was, and she had not been expecting to doze off. Last thing she remembered, you were lying with your head in her lap and she was running her fingers through your hair.</p><p>She looks around for you, and as she’s walking through the house she realizes that Milo’s nowhere to be found either. She sees his leash at the front door meaning he’s still here, so she heads upstairs to see where you two have gone. As she expected, you were in the laundry room with the kittens. Milo was with you, but he was just lying down as most of the kittens laid on him or tried to climb him. Bit was surprisingly not upset about the intrusion and she was just grooming herself on her bed probably eager to have a break from the kittens. You turn at the sound of the door opening and you shoot Billie a sheepish look as she closes it behind her.</p><p>“Hi, I hope you don’t mind we decided to check on the kittens.”</p><p>Billie just shakes her head before she sits down next to you. You’re leaning against the dryer as you watch the kittens and Milo interact. Seeing him like this makes you think that you need to get him a friend. He’s so sweet and gentle with these kittens that you’re certain he will be a good big brother.</p><p>“Not at all. It looks like they are enjoying themselves.”</p><p>You laugh as she says this, watching as Mickey manages to find his way on top of Milo’s neck. He reaches the shepherd’s ear and starts gnawing on it. He doesn’t have teeth yet, so it’s not hard enough to bother Milo, but he does turn a little before shaking his head and sending Mickey reeling backwards. He momentarily struggles to get back on his feet, lost in a sea of fur, but eventually he’s up and heading back toward Milo’s head to do it all over again.</p><p>You roll your eyes with a sigh before reaching out for Billie’s hand. You turn to face her with a smile, just taking a moment to admire her slightly mussed hair and her wrinkled dress. You resist the urge to smooth it out as you lean against Billie with another sigh.</p><p>“Thank you, Billie Dean.”</p><p>You close your eyes and take a deep breath as you feel Billie shift slightly. She is pretty sure that she knows what you’re thanking her for, but she wants to be certain. She turns her attention to Milo briefly when he starts to lick the kittens that have decided to nap on him.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>You smile to yourself at Billie’s question before running a hand through your tangled hair. “For helping him and me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”  </p><p>Billie merely smiles before kissing your forehead. She was more than happy to help. She was grateful that she was able to. She says this and you laugh before standing up and pulling Billie with you. Once she’s on her feet, you kiss her, laughing when she pulls away suddenly to look down at the kitten standing on her feet.</p><p>“Oh, Mickey. It’s just you.”</p><p>You laugh and have to resist the urge to start humming. Instead, you squeeze Billie’s hand to get her attention, and once she turns back, you simply smile before kissing her again. You try to pull her closer but there are too many animals and things quickly become too cramped, so you drag Billie out of the laundry room. You shoot her a look over your shoulder and smile before raising an eyebrow in question.</p><p>“Is it dinner time yet? I’m starving.”</p><p>Billie just laughs at you, only shaking her head in amusement before following you downstairs.</p><p>The rest of the time you spend with Billie is wonderful. It is so nice to be back with her even though you’d only been apart for a week or so. You knew how difficult it was going to be to leave her again and have to sleep alone, sometimes with Milo. When Sunday afternoon rolled around, despite really wanting to stay for as long as possible, you knew you had to leave.</p><p>You hadn’t brought any clothes to change into because you hadn’t really anticipated staying with Billie for so long. You hadn’t brought Milo’s food either but he didn’t mind the substitute you’d found at the grocery store. You were the only one who really had to adjust, but you honestly loved it. You were currently wearing one of your favorites of Billie’s t-shirts and a pair shorts that were almost as comfortable as your sweatpants.</p><p>You and Billie had spent a lot of time together talking and watching a couple episodes of her show. You’d had questions and you couldn’t help but enjoy watching the show with Billie. It was so surreal to be sitting there with her on her couch watching her on the screen. At times like those you almost laugh at the turn your life has taken. You never could have imagined this would be what was waiting for you after graduation.</p><p>It was 3 pm before you finally brought up going home. You really didn’t want to because you were perfectly comfortable curled up next to Billie on the couch. You’d convinced her to come nap with you after she’d gotten stressed by a work-related call. You reminded her that this weekend was for relaxing, you’d both had a very busy week, and luckily she agreed with you. She’d come and sat down and you were quick to pull her down next to you, or rather behind you, and unsurprisingly you almost fell asleep.</p><p>Now that it was time for you to go, you had to force yourself to pull away from Billie’s warmth and find Milo. You yawn as you turn around and face Billie who’s just watching you with a smile. You hate to say it, but you should get going so you can get ready for work tomorrow.</p><p>You sigh and Billie already knows what you’re going to say, so she sits up and prepares to stand.</p><p>“We should get going.”</p><p>Billie frowns but doesn’t argue because she is sure you have things to do before work tomorrow. She hates that the weekend is ending, but she’s glad that she got to spend it with you and Milo. Milo immediately goes to retrieve his leash when told, and Billie just smiles before you turn back to her.</p><p>“I wish I could stay longer. I love our sleepovers.”</p><p>Billie just laughs as you smile cheekily, and she follows you to the front door after you slowly gather your things. Once you’re all set you look down at your clothes with a smile, and you blush slightly before clearing your throat.</p><p>“I’ll get your clothes back to you soon.”</p><p>Billie leans in to kiss you and you blush harder at her response.</p><p>“It’s alright Y/N. I like them better on you anyway.”</p><p>You kiss her again, pulling her close until she takes the hint and her hands drop to your waist. You smile into the kiss and you reach out blindly, but you don’t manage to find Billie’s cheek before you feel Milo paw at you. You’re tempted to ignore him but he whines loudly and you sigh in defeat. You know that you shouldn’t linger, it will only make leaving harder. You smile at Billie and she watches as you turn to leave. She wordlessly follows you out to watch as you walk to your car, and she can’t help but laugh at what she hears you mutter to Milo on your way.</p><p>“You can be really obnoxious sometimes Milo. You know that?”</p><p>On the way back to your apartment with Milo, all you can think about is how you don’t want to go back. The night with Billie had been the best night of sleep you’d had all week, and you hated to leave that behind you. You sigh as you park and take your time getting out of the car. You get Milo out of the backseat and lock up before heading toward your building. You stifle a yawn as you stop halfway there to let Milo pee and you groan under your breath.</p><p>You have a lot you need to do before work tomorrow. There were at least a half dozen emails you’d ignored all weekend, and you had to clean and go grocery shopping. You are trying to figure out what order you’ll do all of this in as you walk to the elevator. There are only a couple people in the lobby and you smile at the person behind the desk.</p><p>You wait for the elevator to open while bouncing on the balls of your feet impatiently. Ironically, you are eager to get to your apartment, so you can hurry to the grocery store. You’re thinking about what food to get for the week as you press the button to your floor, and you’ve almost decided what to eat for dinner when a loud creaking groan catches your attention. You stiffen before cringing as the elevator screeches before coming to a halt. You curse, nearly tripping over Milo as you both lose your footing briefly. The lights are out and you wait for a few seconds to see if it will turn back on. You sigh in defeat when, unsurprisingly it doesn’t, and you hit your head on the wall as you lean against it with a groan.</p><p>“Great. Fucking great.”</p><p>When pressing the call button doesn’t work after a couple of minutes you are calling the front desk. You hate being trapped in the dark and in such a small space, but you try to stay calm and as still as possible. You’d started to pace but that quickly started to freak you out, so you stood in one place and waited as the phone rang and rang. You groaned in annoyance when no one picked up. Surely, they must know that the elevator’s out? Maybe the entire building lost power?</p><p>You eventually give up and just call the police and tell them what’s going on. This significantly increases your stress and you have to sit down next to Milo when you start hyperventilating.</p><p>Everything is going to be fine. You will be out of here soon and nothing bad will happen in the meantime. You reach out and pet Milo, doing your best to reassure him that everything is fine while you’re just waiting with him anticipating the worst. You reach for your phone again and try calling downstairs one more time. When you hang up in defeat you are about to put your phone up when you think of who else you could call.</p><p>Billie is cleaning up cat hair downstairs when you call her. You’ve only been gone for about 40 minutes and she smiles at the fact that she’s hearing from you already. She puts the broom aside before reaching for her phone to answer it. She’s smiling up until she hears your voice.</p><p>“Y/N. Miss me already?”</p><p>If you hadn’t been so anxious you would have laughed at her teasing. You couldn’t deny that you’d started missing Billie as soon as you drove away from her house, but you were going to have to tell her that later since you were a little preoccupied.</p><p>“I’m stuck in the elevator, Billie, and I’m freaking out.”</p><p>Billie frowns as you say this, and her mind is already going through all of the things she would have done at this point.</p><p>“How long have you been stuck? Have you called anyone else?”</p><p>Billie listens as you mention your unsuccessful calls to the lobby and then your brief conversation with the 911 operator. She could tell how anxious you were even without you saying it, and she is searching for her keys before you even finished your sentence.</p><p>“They said it wouldn’t be long, but I’m just—I’m worried.”</p><p>Billie nods because she can’t imagine how nervous you are right now. She is well aware of your fear of heights, so she can only hope that you are stuck no higher than the second floor. She finds her keys and is on her way to the front door before she even responds. She’s practically running, but she’s not sure that you notice as she slams the door behind her. </p><p>“I’m leaving now, Y/N. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hi everyone 😊 This is the last part, FINALLY. Thanks to everyone who read this plot bunny that turned into this 23-chapter long fic. </p><p>Warnings: angst and vandalism. Mostly fluff??</p>
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    <p>Somehow Billie Dean does make it to your apartment in 10 minutes. She sees that there is already a police car parked out front, and she parks rather haphazardly next to it before jumping out of the car. She hurries inside and pulls her phone out to call you again. You’d hung up with her despite not wanting to because you didn’t want Billie to get into an accident trying to talk to you and drive probably 30 over the limit.</p><p>Billie walks through the front doors and sees no one behind the desk or even in front of the elevators, and she sighs in annoyance. She’s more than a little ticked when you answer the phone just as she reaches the elevators.</p><p>“Billie are you here?”</p><p>Billie looks both ways trying to track someone down, but she’s unsuccessful. She thinks about leaving and hunting down that cop but she has no idea where to start, and she doesn’t want to leave you alone for too long.</p><p>“Yes, Y/N, I’m here and so are the police.”</p><p>She hears you sigh before you mention that they got here just a few minutes ago. You had heard them talking and then they’d disappeared shortly before Billie showed up. You figure that they are checking on the elevator so you try to be patient, but you’re burning up and getting antsy. You look down at Milo who is just lying beside you, his head in your lap as you pet him absentmindedly.</p><p>“Hopefully they will figure it out soon. Do you know what floor you’re on?”</p><p>You frown as you try to remember how long you’d been moving before the elevator stopped. You hadn’t really been paying attention, but if you had to guess you were almost to the third floor. You are about to ask Billie why she wants to know, but you don’t get a chance before you hear her walking. Her heels click on the tile floor and your first thought, that luckily you don’t voice, is ‘of course she’s wearing heels’.</p><p>“Wait, where are you going?”</p><p>Billie heads toward the stairs taking them two at a time as she makes her way to the third floor.</p><p>“I’m on my way.”</p><p>You don’t say anything as you just listen to Billie almost run up the stairs. You want to tell her to slow down and that there is no rush, but your anxiety keeps you from speaking up. You sit up slightly when you hear her heading your way, and you are standing up with Milo when you hear her not just through the phone.</p><p>“Y/N?”</p><p>You sigh nearly laughing in relief as you move toward the door as quickly as possible. You get a little lightheaded from standing so fast, but you don’t even notice as you fall against the door.</p><p>“Billie?”</p><p>You hear her voice but it’s not right in front of you like you imagined, or rather hoped it would be. It is a little below you and you realize that you are almost to your floor. You drop back down to the floor because your head is hurting a little from being so stressed, hot, and panicky.</p><p>“I’m here, Y/N. Are you doing okay?”</p><p>You check the time, realizing it’s been almost half an hour since you walked into this death trap before you nod in confirmation. You reach out for Milo when he starts whining and you get him to sit next to you before responding.</p><p>“I’m okay, now. Better. Thank you for dropping everything to come save us.”</p><p>Billie is holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear as she tries to find a way to get you out. The doors, unsurprisingly, don’t budge and all Billie can see is the key hole beneath the buttons that she can’t do anything with.</p><p>“You didn’t pull me away from anything important. Did you hear where they went?”</p><p>You tell her that they were headed up to the control room but you didn’t know where that was. Billie was willing to go look for it, but you want her to stay with you, so the two of you just talk for a little bit before Billie hears people running upstairs. They are moving quickly and Billie doesn’t have time to wonder what’s going on before you’re speaking.</p><p>“What the hell is that?”</p><p>You frown as you hear what sounds like a stampede on the floor above you. You listen as they run down the hall before things go quiet again. Billie turns when she hears the doors to the stairwell slam loudly against the wall, and she mutters an ‘I’ll be right back’ before she heads in that direction. You don’t argue and you wait as Billie walks to the stairwell and opens the door. She only manages to hear the door slam on the first floor as she pushes the door open. She frowns and looks down the levels below her and just sighs. She supposes those weren’t the people she wants to find anyway.</p><p>“I don’t know who that was, Y/N, but I think--.”</p><p>Billie trails off as another door opens above her and she just stands in the stairwell waiting to see who it is this time. Billie doesn’t wait for long before a cop and someone she recognizes from the front desk appear.</p><p>You’re a little distracted by the sudden sound of tapping and more voices from downstairs. You can’t make out what they’re saying, but you hope they are here to help you. When you hear the sound of a radio beeping, you sigh in relief and grab Milo by the head and kiss his face.</p><p>You’re going to get out of here.  </p><p>After a short conversation that you overheard, Billie is on her way back to you while the police heads down to let the firefighters know where you are. You are tapping your foot anxiously as you hear Billie stop in front of the elevator again.</p><p>“They’re on their way, Y/N.”</p><p>Ten minutes and a lot of creaking later, the elevator doors are open on the third floor. Unfortunately, you are not as close to it as you hoped and there is a two-maybe three-foot opening where you can see the ground. Mostly you see the tops of heads, but even seeing almost 6 people, including Billie, standing by ready to help doesn’t make you feel any better. You try to stay calm as one of the fire fighters tells you what you need to do. The elevator is not going to move on its own at this point. The police officer that went upstairs tries to reassure you of this by saying that someone busted it, which actually makes you more nervous. You don’t have time to try and figure out why before Milo starts whining and trying to get out.</p><p>You grab him quickly, not wanting him to just jump out before making sure his leash is attached. Luckily, he’s wearing his harness, so he’s less likely to fall out of it in case he doesn’t make the jump. You try not to think about that as you keep your hold on Milo while dropping his leash into waiting hands.</p><p>“Okay, Milo. Go ahead.”</p><p> </p><p>You watch with an extreme amount of anxiety as Milo sticks his head out of the elevator and gets ready to jump. You want to close your eyes, but you watch as he jumps out and lands in the arms of someone, you can’t tell who. You sigh in relief as you hear his collar clinking as he shakes himself out. You hear Billie offer to take him and you take a deep breath before trying to figure out how this is going to work. You are sweaty, impatient, and you are really regretting your decision to go with the plan of jumping head first. You make the mistake of looking down not just to the three pairs of arms that are going to catch you, but down the elevator shaft. You see the distance to the ground floor and you almost throw up you’re so nervous.</p><p>“Don’t look down, Y/N.”</p><p>You glance over to Billie who’s watching nervously and you want to say that it’s too late, but you hold your tongue and brace yourself to more or less dive into some strangers’ arms.</p><p>“We’ve got you, Doc.”</p><p>You decide to trust him and you practically fall on top of them as you push yourself out of the elevator. You curse as you feel yourself fall back as you land on your feet, and you tense but luckily, you’re quickly steadied and are being moved away from the edge. You sigh in relief and exhaustion before thanking everyone in earshot and turning to your dog and girlfriend. You smile widely before reaching out to pet Milo. You don’t hold out your arms for a hug because you can smell how badly you need a shower, but Billie doesn’t seem to care.</p><p>“I probably shouldn’t hug you. I sti--.”</p><p>You are cut off as Billie pulls you into a smothering hug. Considering you already weren’t breathing well to begin with, the heat and the stress had been getting to you, you pull away far sooner than you want to. You smile at her though before turning to make sure you weren’t needed. Once you determine that you have nothing to contribute to figuring out how to fix the elevator, you and Billie head upstairs. You mutter under your breath about having to take a shower as you follow Milo out of the stairwell. You notice that he’s still panting and the first thing you are going to do when you get to your apartment is give him some water.</p><p>You don’t realize that Billie’s hold on your hand tightens until you come to a stop. You frown in confusion looking back to see that Billie’s frozen and staring at something. You turn to see what it is and you feel your stomach drop when the sight registers.</p><p>You’re only a few feet shy of your apartment, but you can clearly see that the door is already opened. The lock is busted and you feel yourself moving to open it before you can think better of it. Billie is quick to follow you, and as you push the door open to take a look inside you stop cold.</p><p>The first thing you notice is the smell. You’re not sure what it is immediately, but it’s awful and nothing like how you left it. You take a step inside, holding tighter onto Milo as you notice that there is barely a square foot of clear floor space.</p><p>As far as you can tell, your entire downstairs has been trashed, and you have no idea what to even look at first. The kitchen is a wreck, all of your dishes, food, and appliances have been thrown around haphazardly. There are stains from the food and dents in the floor and drywall from where things had been thrown and you think that you see blood on the floor before realizing that it’s ketchup. Looking to the living room, you see that your television is smashed and bits of it are all over the ground intermingled with couch stuffing. You tell Milo to sit before carefully making your way through the wreckage. You don’t notice Billie reach out for you, and she just sighs as you disappear up the stairs.</p><p>“I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Billie wants to argue, but she instead takes charge of watching Milo who is sniffing furiously. She takes a closer look at the kitchen and she sees that almost all of his food is emptied out onto the floor. It’s scattered in the corner and throughout the kitchen. Billie cringes as she steps on part of a bowl and then nearly trips over a loaf of bread. She makes her way out of the minefield that is your kitchen and heads toward the living room. The smell that she’d first noticed when walking in is stronger over here, and it only takes Billie a couple of seconds to realize what it is.</p><p>She considers going upstairs to check on you, but she hears you at the top of the stairs before she gets a chance.</p><p>“Well, I guess it wasn’t a robbery. My computer is still here. My room’s trashed though.”</p><p>Billie scowls at this watching as you stuff some things into a backpack before sighing. You’re so tired and you just wanted to shower, but there was no way in hell that was happening right now. You turn to Billie with a sigh before glancing to Milo who is still sitting by the door.</p><p>“I’ll call 911. Again.”</p><p>You aren’t sure why you’re not more upset about this. Watching three different people walk around your apartment where all of your possessions have been destroyed should make you angrier than you are. You blame this on the fact that you’re exhausted. You are stressed out again and you swear that if you don’t get to at least change clothes soon you’re going to lose it.</p><p>You had made the mistake of calling the authorities before you showered, and now you weren’t allowed to mess with anything. They needed to collect evidence and you definitely wanted them to do this quickly because the smell had only gotten worse over time.</p><p>Milo and Billie were waiting in the hallway while you answered a few questions and you couldn’t help but be antsy. You told Billie that she didn’t have to stick around, but she wanted to make sure that you weren’t alone right now. She also hadn’t really mentioned it, but you weren’t going to be staying here tonight, or anytime soon probably. You probably would end up coming back to her place. She wanted you to after everything that had happened.</p><p>“Have you gotten on anyone’s bad side recently?”</p><p>You nearly laugh at this but somehow just end up nodding in confirmation. You mention Doug and tell the truth about how awful he is to you and how he’d pushed you down the stairs. You watch as the brunette takes notes and you shake your head when you’re asked for a last name. You only know that he lives on the floor below yours, but you’re sure he can figure out all he needs from just this information alone.</p><p>“Do you know where you’re staying in the meantime? If we need to contact you?”</p><p>You stop short at this because you hadn’t really even thought of that. You were just thinking about how a lot of your clothes were ruined, your dishes that you’d brought from home were in pieces on the floor, and your very comfortable couch was destroyed. All of these things could be replaced and they weren’t even that important to you. You were just stuck on the fact that someone, probably Doug, had so thoroughly trashed your home when you honestly thought he didn’t give a shit about you. You never would have guessed that he’d go to the effort of doing something like this.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. I’ll figure it out.”</p><p>It takes another twenty minutes before you’re allowed to go up to your room and grab a few things. You don’t get much because there isn’t much that’s salvageable. You get a few outfits and a couple of other things before meeting Billie outside.</p><p>“Sorry, that took so long.”</p><p>Billie turns to shoot you an incredulous look that you miss as you’re reaching for Milo’s leash. She hands it over without argument as she follows you to the stairwell.</p><p>“Your apartment just got trashed and pissed in, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for.”</p><p>You turn back to Billie with a surprised look and you take a second to think this through before you nod. She’s right. You aren’t sure why you’re apologizing, as usual, you’re still a little dazed by all of this.</p><p>“You’re right, I’m—I guess I’m just in shock.”</p><p>You continue walking and push the door open to the stairwell with a frown. You are just now realizing that everything you have with you is the entirety of your possessions and you have nowhere to live. You decide to think about the headache of dealing with insurance later as you hold the door open for Billie and let her go first.</p><p>Billie sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. She is exhausted from the stress of the last hour or so and she really just wants to go home have a drink and a nice long bath. However, she wants to make sure that you are taken care of first. You’ve had a rough weekend between your dad and now all of this, and she was certain you just wanted to sleep too. And shower.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to snap.”</p><p>It’s just been a long afternoon. Billie almost says this but then she realizes how it would sound. She wasn’t the one who had to experience stress and then more stress, so she really didn’t have room to complain.</p><p>You shake your head as you follow Billie down the stairs, hyperaware of the fact the fact that you are the only ones here.</p><p>“It’s okay, Billie. You probably hadn’t counted on having an exhausting Sunday either.”</p><p>Billie smiles before slowing down so she can reach out for your hand. She takes Milo’s leash, shifting it to her right so she can hold your hand with her left. She leads you out to the lobby and you look both ways before following her to the parking lot. You groan as the sun hits your face and you feel yourself warm up, again. You are dying for a shower and a change of clothes.</p><p>“I’ll just-.”</p><p>“How about-?”</p><p>You both speak up at the same time, and you laugh slightly before you take Milo back with a smile. He’s lying on the ground at your feet and that’s all you need to know that he’s tired too. You look back to Billie before nodding for her to go first. You weren’t going to say anything too interesting anyway.</p><p>“How about you come spend the night? Worry about everything else later?”</p><p>You smile because you like the way she thinks. You are very tempted to take her up on her offer, but you’ve already inconvenienced Billie today and you don’t want to continue this. You go to shake your head and claim that you’ll just get a room somewhere but she beats you to it. She can tell that you’re reluctant, but she hopes she can convince you to try and relax today. She’s afraid that you being alone with Milo in a hotel room won’t be relaxing. Not if you’re worried about Doug.</p><p>“I really don’t mind, Y/N. I love our sleepovers after all.”</p><p>Unsurprisingly you end up back at Billie’s place, and the first thing you do is get Milo some water. Then you take a shower while Billie does laundry for you, before letting Milo out in the backyard. Now that you’re clean and a little less stressed you’re beginning to realize the severity of what happened today.</p><p>You’re sitting in the backyard watching Milo wander around before lying down in the grass near Billie’s garden. You know you have to watch him closely because last time you let him do this, he tried to eat some of her flowers. You don’t hear Billie come outside immediately. You’re too busy worrying about whether or not you got enough pictures for your insurance claims to notice that Billie’s behind you. You sigh before closing your eyes and leaning back to try and relax. You weren’t supposed to be worrying about this today. It could all wait until tomorrow at least.</p><p>“Y/N, are you hungry?”</p><p>You open your eyes to see Billie standing beside you with a plate of something in her hands. You smile as you sit up to take a better look before watching as Billie sits down across from you. You don’t notice Milo getting up and making his way over to you to see what Billie’s brought.</p><p>“Always, but you didn’t have to do this.”</p><p>Billie waves you off before doing the same to Milo when he puts his feet on the chair and sniffs her food. You are quick to grab something so Billie could move away from him, and you smile gratefully before helping her out. You stand up and lead Milo inside, using your sandwich as bait before you sneak back outside and close the door.</p><p>“Be good Milo! Sit.”</p><p>He obeys with a whine before you move to sit back down in your chair. Billie watches for a moment as you eat, and she frowns when she notices how tense you are. She knows you must be exhausted and she is honestly surprised that you are still up. If she had to guess, it is worry that’s kept you awake, and Billie considers how she can help.</p><p>“What can I do for you, sweetheart?”</p><p>You turn to Billie with a smile before shaking your head. There is a lot that you want, but nothing that you can ask Billie for. She’s already been so helpful and supportive this weekend, and that’s all you want right now. You simply stand before moving to sit next to Billie once you’re done eating. You reach out for her and she’s pulling you into her lap before you can even wonder if she’d mind. You smile as you wrap your arms around her in a hug. You sigh under your breath before burying your face in Billie’s hair. Normally you could fall asleep like this with Billie’s arms wrapped around you, but you’re too stressed. There’s too much on your mind, and luckily Billie seems to realize this.</p><p>“I’m okay, Billie. I’m just glad to be relaxing with you again. That’s enough for me.”</p><p>Billie smiles before she reaches up and begins to run her fingers through your hair. You hum under your breath and her smile widens as she feels you relax on top of her. She turns when she hears Milo bark from inside, but she doesn’t do anything about him right now. She continues to stroke your hair until she realizes you are close to sleep.</p><p>She doesn’t want you to fall asleep in an uncomfortable position so despite the fact that she doesn’t want to part from you, she starts to shift which makes you stir with a tired groan.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Let’s go inside, Y/N.”</p><p>You end up eating dinner because it is about that time and you hadn’t realized how hungry you were. You had been too stressed to notice until you nearly fell asleep beside Billie on the couch and your stomach growled embarrassingly loudly. Billie had laughed in amusement while you blushed and muttered under your breath about making a decent meal.</p><p>You were now in her kitchen taking stock of what you could make for the two of you. Billie tries to help you, but you shake your head and hurry to pour her a drink before setting it down at the counter. You shoot her a smile and a slightly pleading look when she looks like she’s about to argue, but luckily she acquiesces with little more than a sigh.</p><p>“You should relax too, Y/N. You’ve had quite a weekend.”</p><p>You smile at this before nodding in agreement. You do think that you deserve to relax which is why you are cooking dinner. You love to cook. You find the process relaxing, so you are going to take full advantage of the opportunity to make dinner for Billie. You knew that she didn’t really enjoy cooking as much as you did. She found it stressful when you did it together sometimes because she wasn’t very good, and even if you didn’t care about that, you wanted to give her the night off.</p><p>“I know, but you know me, this is relaxing.”</p><p>You smile at her and Billie sighs again before taking a sip of her wine. She knows that she can’t argue with you. At least there wouldn’t be a point.</p><p>“If you’re sure.”</p><p>Billie doesn’t expect you to respond beyond the nod that you offer her. You stop what you’re doing though and you smile a little wider at the idea of cooking for Billie like this every night. Instead of mentioning this; however, you say something less daunting that shouldn’t be a surprise to the medium at this point.</p><p>“Of course. It combines my two favorite things: food and spending time with you.”</p><p>Billie smiles at this watching as you resume cooking while humming under your breath. You seem so in your element and Billie enjoys just watching you navigate the kitchen and somehow avoid tripping over Milo who is always underfoot.</p><p>You finally kick him out and he sits next to Billie to watch as you finish up. A few minutes later you’re both at the table, but you quickly have to banish Milo to the living room because of his begging. You sigh as you watch him leave before turning back to Billie with a smile. You blush slightly at the sound Billie makes as she takes her first bite, and you look down to your own food as a distraction.</p><p>“This is wonderful, sweetheart. “</p><p>You smile appreciatively before taking a bite yourself. You had definitely been distracted while cooking, by both Billie’s presence and the events of the day, but you’re grateful that it hadn’t done too much damage.</p><p>“Thank you, Billie.”</p><p>Bit comes downstairs a little later, and you have to keep Milo from getting his face rearranged when you realize Bit isn’t in the mood for him tonight. You return to the table after wiping the fur off of you with a frown, and Billie just smiles in amusement as she watches Bit disappear under the table.</p><p>“You better behave for Y/N tomorrow, Bit.”</p><p>You smile at this before sparing a glance under the table to see Bit watching you. Her bright eyes are the only thing you could see and you look away quickly before shaking your head. You remind Billie that Bit will be under anesthesia for most of the time she’s with you, so hopefully that improved your odds of her being nice to you.</p><p>“I’m excited to see all of the kittens again. Are you still sure you want to keep just Mickey and Bit?”</p><p>You and Billie talk about the cats a little while longer, and after confirming that she hasn’t changed her mind, you and Billie figure out what tomorrow will look like. Despite staying with her tonight and seeing her in the morning, you are excited to see Billie tomorrow afternoon for her appointment. You are still thinking about this as you watch Billie clean up. You hadn’t even bothered arguing with her when she told you to sit because you knew she had the same system as you. Whoever cooked didn’t clean up.</p><p>You make sure that Milo stays out of her way by keeping him distracted. He is eager to jump up on you and you scratch his giant head with a yawn as you watch him shed all over the place. You turn at the sound of your phone going off and you glance at it briefly before grabbing it. You abandon Milo for the moment and he is definitely not happy about it, but you don’t notice as you read the message that just came in.</p><p>Billie notices your frown turn to a smile and she can’t help but wonder what the cause is. She waits until you’re done typing before she asks. She watches as you sigh in relief before returning your attention to Milo who hadn’t stopped whining since you picked up your phone.</p><p>“Good news?”</p><p>You look up at Billie who’s finished cleaning at this point, and you nod before mentioning what the email had been about.</p><p>“Yeah, it was. I heard back quicker than I thought I would, but I can get another apartment as early as this week.”</p><p>Billie frowns as she considers this, and you’re looking right at her so it’s impossible to miss. Your smile fades as Billie sighs and drops the towel in her hands. You hadn’t been expecting this reaction and you’re not sure what to make of it.</p><p>“You’re going to stay there?”</p><p>Billie wasn’t sure how you were going to manage living there again. After what had happened, she assumed you would want to find somewhere else to stay. Somewhere you wouldn’t have to be looking over your shoulder constantly for Doug or people like him that wanted to make you feel inferior. Maybe even hurt you.</p><p>You nod slowly trying to figure out where Billie is going with this, but you come up empty so you just respond with a shrug.</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”</p><p>Billie nearly balks at this, but instead she shoots you a confused look that you completely miss as you tell Milo to sit back down.</p><p>“What about what happened today? Is that not a reason to move?”</p><p>You frown at this because you couldn’t lie, you had definitely considered it. You didn’t really like the idea of staying in a place where people like Doug knew how to find you and rattle you. That said, you were too proud to admit this so you just shake your head and give her the reason you’d decided to use instead.</p><p>“It won’t be a problem in a new place, and once Doug is gone.”</p><p>You watch as Billie shoots you a bewildered look before moving to sit next to you. She barely has the patience to pull the chair out far enough for her to sit comfortably, but she doesn’t seem to care as she turns to face you.</p><p>“Don’t you see, Y/N? If it’s not Doug who bothers you, it will be someone else. Everyone knows you live there.”</p><p>You really can’t argue with this and you don’t even bother trying. Your logic is flawed because it’s based more on your pride than actual logic and you know this. You just don’t want to give in so easily.</p><p>“What do you think I should do then Billie? Run away? No, that would be letting him win!”</p><p>Billie watches as you look to Milo who was pawing at you with a scowl and tell him to lie down before you turn back to her. Billie just sighs in defeat because she doesn’t want to fight with you, but she also wants to make sure you’re safe. She would hate for something like this to happen to you again, and she wants to be able to say that she did all she could to help you avoid it.</p><p>“It’s not about winning, Y/N. It’s about being safe.”</p><p>Billie sees you deflate at her words and she frowns as she reaches for your hand. You sigh in defeat before meeting Billie’s gaze, and if you hadn’t already decided to give in, you would have at the look on her face.</p><p>“Do you think you will feel safe living there after everything that’s happened?”</p><p>You don’t even need to respond for Billie to have her answer. You look away and grumble under your breath in annoyance. Not at Billie because she’s right, but rather at yourself for thinking that you could swallow your fear, your feelings again and not suffer any consequences for it.</p><p>You finally shake your head and admit what Billie had suspected all along. You drop her hand to run your own through your hair, and you sigh in frustration. You have a lot to do tomorrow.</p><p>“No. Not really. Even if he’s gone. There will always be other people. Regardless of if I move or not, Billie. There will always be others who pay too close attention and will find out where I’m living. If I’m unlucky enough, more people will harass me.”</p><p>You frown at the thought and you’re too busy imagining the worst to notice Billie’s look. She isn’t sure if she should bring it up, despite now being the perfect opportunity, but Billie speaks up before she can stop herself.</p><p> “You could also move in with me.”</p><p>You smile at this and find yourself laughing before you turn your attention back to Billie. You stop abruptly when you realize that she’s not smiling teasingly at you or even really smiling. She’s serious. You close your mouth only to quickly open it again as you struggle to find the words to respond. You hadn’t expected her to say this, and it wasn’t that you didn’t want to move in with Billie, you just had your reservations.</p><p>“Wait, you were being serious. I think. Were you?”</p><p>Wow. You couldn’t have sounded less put together if you tried, but luckily Billie doesn’t call you out for it. She only smiles before nodding in confirmation. She is being serious and she had been thinking about this for a while. When she says this, she notices how you stiffen slightly before scratching the back of your head awkwardly.</p><p>“Oh, okay.”</p><p>You want to kick yourself for sounding so enthusiastic. You’d honestly imagined this scenario more times than you’d care to admit, and each of them ended with you jumping into Billie’s arms or some equally enthusiastic response. Not this awkward silence that you didn’t know how to break.</p><p>Billie senses your discomfort and she’s quick to give you a way out. Both of you really because she feels her excitement at the prospect of you moving in fade with each passing second of you freaking out internally. She knew she shouldn’t have rushed you by asking now.</p><p>“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”</p><p>You panic when Billie says this and you quickly shake your head before reaching out for her. You grab her hands bringing her attention back to you and you smile earnestly as you shake your head again.</p><p>“No, Billie, it’s not that I don’t want to. I promise I love you—your uh—idea of living with you, I just am not sure if we’re ready.”</p><p>At this point you’re practically sweating as you curse yourself for letting that slip out. You hold your breath watching as Billie thinks about what you just said. She tilts her head slightly and you feel your lungs burning from the effort to not breathe when Billie finally asks you,</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>You finally allow yourself to take a breath, but you don’t answer immediately. You already know your reasoning, but you don’t want to admit your fear to Billie. That said, you’ve already made her feel like you don’t want to move in with her, so you give up any time you were going to take to doubt yourself to tell the truth.</p><p>“I-um. I guess I’m worried that you’ll get sick of me a lot faster if I move in.”</p><p>You look at your hands which are still holding Billie’s in embarrassment, but you drop one of them as she pulls away so she can reach out for you. She tilts your head up with a hand under your chin and you can’t help but look at her as she smiles at you in a way that makes you blush.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ll get sick of you at all, sweetheart.”</p><p>You hesitate for a moment before you manage a small smile. Your face lights up at the idea of living with Billie, being with Billie all of the time. You don’t get too carried away right now because there is still a lot for you to figure out. For now, you just lean in and kiss Billie, and it’s a little messy and hurried but you couldn’t care less. You’re beaming when you pull away and take Billie’s hand in yours and squeeze it tightly.</p><p>“Are you sure about that, Billie Dean?”</p><p>Billie leans back slightly and pretends to think about your question for a moment. You frown in annoyance and start to pull your hand away, but she merely laughs and brings you back so she can kiss you again.</p><p>“Of course. I am, Y/N. You and Milo both.”</p><p>You laugh at this and move to close the distance when Billie pulls away at the last second. You’re anticipating another joke when she simply smiles at you and cups your cheek with a sigh. She kisses you once before pulling away to meet your curious gaze.</p><p>“I love the idea of living with you too, Y/N.”</p><p>You blush furiously at this and Billie can’t stop her smile from widening as you look away in embarrassment. Clearly Billie didn’t miss your slip up, and you just sigh in defeat before deciding to worry about it later. Right now, you have more important things to do.</p><p>
  <em>One month later </em>
</p><p>Billie sighs as she finally arrives home after a long day of meetings. Her show had aired a few weeks ago, and so far, it was a raging success. Unfortunately, this didn’t mean her work was over, in fact it was just beginning again now that it had been confirmed that she would be shooting another season. She is excited by the prospect of traveling again in the coming months, but all she can think about right now is getting off her feet.</p><p>She opens the front door and is immediately greeted by two things that had quickly become some of her favorites since you and Milo moved in. The first thing Billie sees is Milo as he waits patiently in the foyer for her. He is sometimes accompanied by Mickey or Bit depending on the day, but tonight he’s waiting by himself, tail wagging and eager to see her as always.</p><p>Billie smiles as she reaches out to pet him before putting down her things and heading for the kitchen.</p><p>“Hi, Milo. How was your day?”</p><p>He doesn’t answer. Instead, he follows Billie as she heads for the second thing she’s grown to love about living with you. Whether you were cooking or you’d just ordered out, Billie was always grateful to arrive home to the smell of dinner. After living alone for so long and always returning to an empty house, there was something so comforting about having someone waiting for her. Better yet, cooking for her since she still hadn’t learned very many things beyond your favorites. She arrives to the kitchen to see you sitting on the counter, swinging your legs back and forth as you read something on your phone. You put it down as soon as you see Billie and you move to jump off the counter and greet her, but she moves faster.</p><p>You sigh and simply wrap your arms around her with a smile before meeting her for a kiss. You had to admit that this was probably your favorite part of the day. After moving in with Billie, you quickly realized how much you loved it. It hadn’t been nearly as big of an adjustment for the two of you as you feared, and there really was nothing better than waking up next to Billie every morning.</p><p>You hadn’t brought much with you since most of it was destroyed during the break in, but you slowly started to buy more things over time. Billie managed to sneak in some things here or there, and eventually you had almost as many clothes in the closet as Billie did. You found living with her easy, and you loved having someone to come home to.</p><p>Or rather, on nights like this, having someone who loved coming home to you.</p><p>“How was your day?”</p><p> Billie sighs before muttering something about it being crazy busy under her breath. She tells you the news about her next season, and you smile widely before pulling her back in for a quick hug.</p><p>“That’s great news, Billie! Where do you get to go this time?”</p><p>Billie starts to tell you about how most of today was spent discussing potential destinations for her next season. Nothing had been decided yet, but hopefully she had at least a month until she had to start packing. You smile at this despite the fact that Billie will be gone for weeks for filming, but you decide to be happy for her now, and worry about that later. You lean in to kiss her again, but your smile fades when you hear Milo jump up and put his feet on the counter.</p><p>“Milo no! Get down!”</p><p>Milo whines before doing as he’s told and just sniffing your dinner from the floor. You sigh in defeat before looking to see what time it is. You’d gotten sidetracked cooking and you really needed to walk him. That said, you were perfectly comfortable where you were, and you really didn’t want to leave.</p><p>Billie somehow reads your mind and smiles before moving so you can jump off the counter. You frown but don’t argue before you grab your phone and hop down.</p><p>“I’ll be right back, I promise!”</p><p>Billie watches as Milo runs for his leash and you’re about to follow when she speaks up.</p><p>“Do you want me to come with you?”</p><p>When you first moved in, reporters and even a couple of Billie’s fans had hung around the house for a while. It lasted longer than either of you would have expected because of what had happened with Doug. Once news got out that your apartment had been broken into and Doug was arrested, it seemed like everyone’s interest in your relationship skyrocketed. Much to your surprise, you’d received more support than criticism, and luckily no one like Doug had bothered you since.</p><p>For this reason, you were a little braver when it came to going out on your own. After a few encounters with some of Billie’s fans, you weren’t as on edge about people harassing you. You weren’t sure how long that was going to last, but you would take what you could get for as long as you could get it.</p><p>So you shook your head before moving back so you could kiss Billie again, this time without Milo interrupting.</p><p>“It’s okay. We’ll be back in a few minutes.”</p><p>Billie nods before watching as you meet Milo at the door and get him ready for his walk. He’s bouncing in excitement by the time you get your shoes on, and he barely gives you time to throw a smile over your shoulder before he’s dragging you out the door. Billie only hears you curse as you disappear with Milo, and she smiles before shaking her head in amusement. She loves Milo and all of his many quirks, but tonight she can’t keep her mind off the food in the kitchen. She heads back to get started on setting the table, and she’s finishing up when she hears a loud bark as the door opens once again and Milo comes tearing through the house.</p><p>Billie turns to see you looking out of breath and a little annoyed at your dog, and she can’t help but laugh. She’s not sure what she missed, but she’s certain that it won’t be the last time Milo causes you trouble.  For now, she’ll just have to settle on hearing about whatever managed to happen in the three minutes you both were gone. It’s not like she hasn’t experienced her fair share of Milo antics in the time you’ve been here, but sometimes she barely believes what you tell her.</p><p>You sigh as you take off your shoes and head for your dog who is still panting from his run. You roll your eyes as you take of his leash, and Billie smiles as she shoots you a questioning look.</p><p>“What did he do this time?”</p><p>You laugh before shaking your head in disbelief.  You decide to wait until dinner to tell this story because your stomach is rumbling before you can even get your first word out. Billie chuckles and you blush slightly before setting Milo’s leash down. </p><p>“You’ll just have to come with us next time.”</p><p>Billie smiles before kissing the top of your head as she leads you to the kitchen. She hums in agreement before turning to watch as Milo hurries past to find some food.</p><p>“Next time.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just reposting this from my Tumblr account: onlysarah235678.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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